Mrs.Chima:

Aww.  Mz Dark!  You have to develop a tough skin like me suga.   I don't give a bleep what nobody say, you hear me suga?  That why I am always pissing people off because I don't give a bleep and when people try to hurt your feelings.  You do not bat an eye and that when they really start calling you out of your names.  

LOL. Stop making me laugh!    . I understand what you are saying but I have tried that approach and then I come off as ANGRY lol. I think I have a lot balled up inside and I try to make others happy, particularly friends and whomever I am dating so I don't speak up to avoid being seen as "that angry hag" but again the longer it stays inside me the more I get angry. Maybe soul searching is what I need LOL. That is why I think I should confide more in my girl friends and let go of my pride because as human beings we are social and we all need someone we can lean on, when I don't have that I am a train wreck about to happen!   Most women are all about making others happy which is why we suffer from this "I can't get over it" curse.

Mrs.Chima:

Mz. Dark,

I am having this issue with the same man that just won't leave me alone.  I have cussed him out, talked about his family, got some men to tough talked him, and even told him if he don't stop I will have to take law in my own hands.  NOTHING IS WORKING!  I do not want to upset my husband because he (used to be a figher)  and he is STROOOOONG. 

I guess I need to go suck on a bottle. 

Suck a bottle? Mrs.Chima you popping shots at me? 

As for the guy that won't leave you alone, just like my  friend/co-worker that is some serious mess that need to be dealt with. By all means find a way get him to CLEARLY get the picture! (without violence lol)

@Odunnu, no mam but I will check it out! Thanks! 

Mrs.Chima:

I have something I want to get off my chest. I need a MATURED male opinion.

MzD@rkSkin:

@Jaybee, that is definitely what I need to do. I just wish it were easy. Sometimes things that happened in the past or even a couple days ago when I think about it, it may cause me to shed a few tears because I am a very emotional/sensitive person which is why to ppl I come off confrontational. That is one thing I'd like to change but it just seems when I am dating a guy they cannot accept that. It's like my feelings are irrelevant. I can't explain it.  [/color]

jay bee:

You've got one here suga. Bring it on
As much as i appreciate/understand the difficulties that the ability to let things pass brings, i generally believe you always have to look at the bigger pictures of things. As an example, if it's your b/f that did something you are finding it hard to let go then just look at the good things he has done and use that as a parameter to judge if you really ought to be getting mad for things that have past and obviously has no direct bearing on the outcome of your relationship going forward with him.

We human beings constantly always have to look at bigger pictures. Why get mad at something that doesn't define us or better still something that wouldn't shape our future.
It's really not so hard to let things go trust me.

Mrs.Chima:

Mz. Dark,

I am having this issue with the same man that just won't leave me alone. I have cussed him out, talked about his family, got some men to tough talked him, and even told him if he don't stop I will have to take law in my own hands. NOTHING IS WORKING! I do not want to upset my husband because he (used to be a figher) and he is STROOOOONG.

I guess I need to go suck on a bottle.

Mrs.Chima:

Okay, I like this guy and I do not know how to tell my husband. What should I do from a male perspective?

jay bee:

I'm guessing it's the same dude always passing sexual comments to you and if its him then the ONLY solution is you complaining to your man. He knows his friend and he has to do the talking/putting him in line if he loves you. It's really that simple suga

Lord_Reed:

@MDS
jay is spot on n am glad u agree. Anoda technique is to take dat incident turn into an object in your mind then in your mind look at it like sometin in a store put it on a shelf in your mind n shake your head n say I don't want u d same way u reject sometin at a store. I use this n helps calm me n makes me focus on d positive.

Thanks sweetie, I will try that!

Lord_Reed:

@Mrs.Chima
U are threading on dangerous grounds n u know it. This 'liking' is too emotional n u can't even trust urself so u had beta just kill it rite away. Telling your husband is not going to help cos he will see rite through u n u know wats gonna happen.
@MDS
jay is spot on n am glad u agree. Anoda technique is to take dat incident turn into an object in your mind then in your mind look at it like sometin in a store put it on a shelf in your mind n shake your head n say I don't want u d same way u reject sometin at a store. I use this n helps calm me n makes me focus on d positive.

Mrs.Chima:

So a woman can't like a guy without having romantic feelings? Are you talking to me from the modern platform or you dabbling in the African men platform?

Mrs.Chima:

I would simply tell him no.

annawhite:

sure u would but u will be daydreaming about dat proposal!
it's not healthy for u darl

Mrs.Chima:

Oh! I am not talking about that kind of like sister! You know the standard like as wanting him to be my friend but knowing my husband he will not be comfortable with that.