spyder880:

For those asking him to take a vacation to naija, didnt he stay here before, what has changed, watch my siggy.

A lengthy vacation is, in my opinion, the best way for anyone who is confused to best guage such a move. After 3 to 6 months down there, the person would have been tested enough to decide which environment is best. It also helps people shed unnecessary illusions/delusions.

Kobojunkie:

A lengthy vacation is, in my opinion, the best way for anyone who is confused to best guage such a move. After 3 to 6 months down there, the person would have been tested enough to decide which environment is best. It also helps people shed unnecessary illusions/delusions.

The holiday wont be cheap, the flight tickets and living expenses will kill him, couple that with our people's hunger for dollars from anyone who returns, else they label you a failure. Plus he will be out of work for six months?

eku_bear:

At the very least, get permanent residency/citizenship first before you leave so that if things don't work out in naija you have an escape plan/some flexibility.

Doesn't make sense to leave the US in haste. Act in haste and you'll regret in leisure 

Can you really return to the USA with a Green Card (permanent residency) after spending more than 6 months outside in one stretch?

@OP

Be careful on moving back to Nigeria, dont be in haste. Nigeria and America are not going anywhere, plan very well before you act. Things are turning around in America now. I presume your problem is the issue of jobs, make it a job to look for a better job may be in a different location within the USA. Stay here and save more money or send money to Nigeria gradually, then you can leave after like 5 years. But don't be in haste of rushing back home. Leave North Carolina, Come to Texas, things aren't bad in Texas at all and the job market here is good but you need to find someone in Texas to provide you a soft landing while you search for a job. By the way, are you legal in America??

spyder880:

The holiday wont be cheap, the flight tickets and living expenses will kill him, couple that with our people's hunger for dollars from anyone who returns, else they label you a failure. Plus he will be out of work for six months?

Please FOCUS  .  . . the point is not of how CHEAP the trip will be in dollars and cents . If you want to know how a place will work for you, regardless of whether you are talking Nigeria, UK etc. It is still best to go to that place, stay there for a while, and then DECIDE if the place is good for you or not.

Out of that 2million NAIRA you planning to take to Naija to start your new life, make sure you take out money for your return ticket back to the States.  2million Naira in a city such as Lagos, PH, or Abuja?  Fuel alone will drain your MILLIONS in a couple of months.  Think very well before taking that leap.

oldbende:

I always think of going back to Nigeria , The stress here is just too much  maybe am not strong enough, meanwhile I open this topic to some of my friends, I called every body on my phone book to ask them if they think about the stress here or if the even felt the stress at all but was surprise to know that almost every body is tired of this country but just want to be regarded by people in Nigeria as one who lives in the states.

So I live in North Carolina for three years now and want to move back to Nigeria  with my little savings at least 2 Million Naira, do you guys think I'm running mad, [/b]I'm getting ready to purchase my ticket but I need to make sure am not making any mistake that's why I bring this topic here.

eku_bear:

At the very least, [b]get permanent residency/citizenship first before you leave so that if things don't work out in naija you have an escape plan/some flexibility.

Doesn't make sense to leave the US in haste. Act in haste and you'll regret in leisure  

If she is already out of status or without papers, it will be a long and arduous process to re-legitimize.  Her older posts indicate such.  Fact is the widespresd adoption of e-Verify by many states and private businesses plus the non-existent job market really does not bode well for someone in her situation.  And I can see why she is in the predicament.  Plus she is already terribly unhappy due to limited social and familial support network.

Poster,
this is an unpopular opinion here, but you really should follow your instinct and move back before you lose your mind.  I typed up a reply but held off, but once I read all your 12 posts on NL, I am convinced you are doing the right thing.  Another 3 years from now, you might be even worse off.  I don't see spineless gutless Obama (or congress) forcing through an immigration amnesty, which he promised, anytime soon.  That's at least another 2 years.  Even if they did, it may not cover those who have been in the US less than 5 years.

I'm not being pessimistic.  I just want you to do what is right for you, all of us strangers' advice notwithstanding.

isale_gan2:

If she is already out of status or without papers, it will be a long and arduous process to re-legitimize.  Her older posts indicate such.  Fact is the widespresd adoption of e-Verify by many states and private businesses plus the non-existent job market really does not bode well for someone in her situation.  And I can see why she is in the predicament.  Plus she is already terribly unhappy due to limited social and familial support network.

Poster,
this is an unpopular opinion here, but you really should follow your instinct and move back before you lose your mind.  I typed up a reply but held off, but once I read all your 12 posts on NL, I am convinced you are doing the right thing.  Another 3 years from now, you might be even worse off.  I don't see spineless gutless Obama (or congress) forcing through an immigration amnesty, which he promised, anytime soon.  That's at least another 2 years.  Even if they did, it may not cover those who have been in the US less than 5 years.

I'm not being pessimistic.  I just want you to do what is right for you, all of us strangers' advice notwithstanding.

Ok now i see. He is not a legal residence. Yeah that complicates the whole issue. But why not marry here or get with Nigerians who knows how to legalize you?

The poster is suffering from winter blues. Winter is always a depressive time in d west even if u get money.

KnowAll:

The poster is suffering from winter blues. Winter is always a depressive time in d west even if u get money.

not sure if they have winter in the kakalaks

isale_gan2:

If she is already out of status or without papers, it will be a long and arduous process to re-legitimize.  Her older posts indicate such.  Fact is the widespresd adoption of e-Verify by many states and private businesses plus the non-existent job market really does not bode well for someone in her situation.  And I can see why she is in the predicament.  Plus she is already terribly unhappy due to limited social and familial support network.

Poster,
this is an unpopular opinion here, but you really should follow your instinct and move back before you lose your mind.  I typed up a reply but held off, but once I read all your 12 posts on NL, I am convinced you are doing the right thing.  Another 3 years from now, you might be even worse off.  I don't see spineless gutless Obama (or congress) forcing through an immigration amnesty, which he promised, anytime soon.  That's at least another 2 years.  Even if they did, it may not cover those who have been in the US less than 5 years.

I'm not being pessimistic.  I just want you to do what is right for you, all of us strangers' advice notwithstanding.

best ever advice yet. and the person is a 'she' ? please dont spend your fertile and beautiful years in misery in america like so many nigerian women do. before they know it they are over 30, angry, no longer attractive, husbandless and irate in america. i see em in chicago all the time 

Jenifa_:

@OP take a vacation as suggested. unless your immigration status is somehow then you might want to wait until you get your green card.
even if you decide to go back w/o permanent status, it's still your call. how old are you? if your parents are doing ok in naija, you could also live off them for a while (if your 2m is not enough) before you find your feet. 
goodluck

plz explain further.  why is this? i'm curious.

well life is not always about the physical. life is also about the mental. both are entities which have to be fulfilled in your life for you to be a happy human being. if you are under the age of 24, chances are that you can fulfill the physical anywhere in the world you find yourself. chances are that you will be a party animal, into drinking alcohol, smoking ciggys, weed, clubbing, chasing skirts left right and centre, eating out all the time, carefree, living it up. your pursuit of the 'physical' at that age will mask the need to fulfill the 'mental'. after the age of 24 when you no longer do all those things (keep in mind this is 90 percent of the fun in the western world ) then you are left with a huge void to fill. this void must now be filled with 'mental stimulation'. most people are mentally stimulated when they are around like minded folk. people that look like you, think like you, eat like you, dress like you, react like you etc etc. so that after the age of 24 you are basically stuck in a place where your physical and mental needs will never be met unless you do radical things like plunge headlong into an activity that will bring you in contact with like minded people. which is why a lot of nigerians over a certain age are heavily born again in england and america. this fulfills a physical and a mental need to be connected and happy.

but b4 you go back, at least try to have enough money to cash down for a small bungalow. thats the best advice you will ever receive here. once your house is paid for, you will never regret moving back home. those who regret moving back home go back home to rent. home ownership is the key to either enjying your move or regretting it. a wise man once told me, if you have a home to rest your head, clothes on your back and food to eat, then you are blessed. so in naija with your own home, the only thing you have to worry about is food and clothes. thats very cheap to have.

What are your qualifications and experience? Since you have N2M, I am assuming that you would have worked. A lot of people cry for hardship when they fail to identify their strengths and put it to work. Please spreadsheet your strengths and use them well. Nigeria or America, without identifying your strengths, you will still be worthless. Your resume (CV) can get you in the door but your personality/strength will give you the job, Send me your qualifications, experience and your residency status and we will take it from there. Cool off and do not be in a hurry to leave.

omongbatim:

Can you really return to the USA with a Green Card (permanent residency) after spending more than 6 months outside in one stretch?

I believe that you can. I think leaving affects your ability to apply for citizenship. . . there is a 5 year rule required for applying for citizenship. Perhaps google and confirm?

isale_gan2:

Poster,
this is an unpopular opinion here, but you really should follow your instinct and move back before you lose your mind.  I typed up a reply but held off, but once I read all your 12 posts on NL, I am convinced you are doing the right thing.  Another 3 years from now, you might be even worse off.  I don't see spineless gutless Obama (or congress) forcing through an immigration amnesty, which he promised, anytime soon.  That's at least another 2 years.  Even if they did, it may not cover those who have been in the US less than 5 years.

I'm not being pessimistic.  I just want you to do what is right for you, all of us strangers' advice notwithstanding.

I do not agree. What is the point of going to Nigeria? There are no jobs there unless you have amazing qualifications from abroad. Or you have lots of money and can start your own business (e.g., $400k+). Or are very well-connected.

I mean, I could see if she were flat out unemployed. But she has two jobs. Anyway, I've seen too many illegal Mexican aliens, illegal Nigerians etc who have made it in this country. Our old mechanic in Houston, dude can barely speak English but now has his own auto garage and a nice home somewhere.

Can an illiterate mechanic ever hope to do the same in Nigeria?

Anyway, she should also investigate nursing school. This is a route many illegal Nigerians take to become permanent residents. I don't know how long the process takes, but it is something she needs to investigate.

Another option is marriage.

Running away from the proverbial land of milk and honey doesn't make much sense to me, illegal status or not.

eku_bear:

Another option is marriage.

Are you gonna marry her?  

Very good thought-out response on your part.  Almost made me change my opinion.  But I'm not budging!

Anyway, I based my recommendation on what I got from her posts.  I could type a long missive but succintly, for her and a lot of people, I think it's the right thing.  Time flies when you're waiting for crud to turn to gold.  The only positive is the fact she was able to save $13k working the sort of jobs described in the time stated.

P.S.: Just wanted to add that even if "there are no jobs" in Naija, maybe our poster wants to setup her own small business, hence the money saved.

buzugee:

best ever advice yet. and the person is a 'she' ? please dont spend your fertile and beautiful years in misery in america like so many nigerian women do. before they know it they are over 30, angry, no longer attractive, husbandless and irate in america. i see em in chicago all the time 

Somehow I concluded she is a "she."  Now, I don't recall where she/he acknowledged that.  Probably a subconscious gender bias on my part, based on her emotive language.

Buzugee or Badagry or whatever you call yourself. I'm gonna rake you over the coals for your not-so-subtle misogynistic "utterances" one day when I'm feeling up to kicking some butt, ok? We'll meet again. 

Well, let's hear what her plan is if she goes to Nigeria. If she has some high-paying job already lined up there, then fine. Or her uncle is a senator/governor, fine.

Anyway, my own philosophy regarding this stuff. . . you cannot return to Nigeria with the same skillset you left with. Get a masters, some sort of experience at a good company, some sort of professional qualifications.

Otherwise, how will you differentiate yourself from the crowd when you get back to Nigeria? Nobody is going to give you a nice job in Nigeria if you have the same exact qualifications as other Nigerians, but just happened to live illegally in the US for a little bit.

eku_bear:

Well, let's hear what her plan is if she goes to Nigeria. If she has some high-paying job already lined up there, then fine.

Bear, Are you grouchy today?

P.S.: Never mind. I just saw your profile pic. That is one moody bear. Anyway, you can be grouchy with me, I'll still adopt you as my bro.  No worries.

I'd like to know how the poster is doing.  Fill us in sometime, ok?

Naw, me grouchy? Never that

isale_gan2:

If she is already out of status or without papers, it will be a long and arduous process to re-legitimize.  Her older posts indicate such.  Fact is the widespresd adoption of e-Verify by many states and private businesses plus the non-existent job market really does not bode well for someone in her situation.  And I can see why she is in the predicament.  Plus she is already terribly unhappy due to limited social and familial support network.

@Poster, there is a better Job market in the US today than you will be able to find in Nigeria for the next 20 years to come. Remember a couple of months ago when Stadiums around the country, Nigeria were filled to bursting with people paying N1500 to apply for jobs with the Drug Agency?

isale_gan2:

Poster,
this is an unpopular opinion here, but you really should follow your instinct and move back before you lose your mind.  I typed up a reply but held off, but once I read all your 12 posts on NL, I am convinced you are doing the right thing.  Another 3 years from now, you might be even worse off.  I don't see spineless gutless Obama (or congress) forcing through an immigration amnesty, which he promised, anytime soon.  That's at least another 2 years.  Even if they did, it may not cover those who have been in the US less than 5 years.

I'm not being pessimistic.  I just want you to do what is right for you, all of us strangers' advice notwithstanding.

@Poster, I suggest you USE YOUR HEAD. For those of us from other countries, there is that notion that we have a place to go back to, and this is true but we also tend to forget what brought us out in the first place. For years, I too felt nothing was going to work for me here, and that I needed to head back to Nigeria. I literally walked around with this gloomy outlook for years, until I started working on seeing that around me, and only then was I, not only able to get the right answers for my situation but solutions. So, thank God you are here, now, if you can, network with others who are already here to to see if you can find that one person who has been through what you are going through now and come out victorious in the end. If you are dealing with Immigration stress, I can tell you that only a couple of weeks ago, a lady, who had been illegal for about 8 years, finally got her green card. Another one, who had been trying for over a decade, got hers late last year, and this was after a lawyer in Nigeria helped her with the processing and directions she needed. I am not myself familiar with the struggle and how hard it is but if you are in similar situation, I could get you the information for these and many others who could maybe advice you on a thing or two you may not know now.

isale_gan2:

Are you gonna marry her?  

Very good thought-out response on your part.  Almost made me change my opinion.  But I'm not budging!

Anyway, I based my recommendation on what I got from her posts.  I could type a long missive but succintly, for her and a lot of people, I think it's the right thing.  Time flies when you're waiting for crud to turn to gold.  The only positive is the fact she was able to save $13k working the sort of jobs described in the time stated.

P.S.: Just wanted to add that even if "there are no jobs" in Naija, maybe our poster wants to setup her own small business, hence the money saved.

Somehow I concluded she is a "she."  Now, I don't recall where she/he acknowledged that.  Probably a subconscious gender bias on my part, based on her emotive language.

Buzugee or Badagry or whatever you call yourself. I'm gonna rake you over the coals for your not-so-subtle misogynistic "utterances" one day when I'm feeling up to kicking some butt, ok? We'll meet again.   

lmao you know my intention was not to be misogynistic. i am speaking from experience. i have family members who are female in exactly the same predicament. middle aged, no kids, living alone, in america, and not too happy but dont want to go to nigeria for fear of the unknown. (extended not nuclear family)

buzugee:

lmao you know my intention was not to be misogynistic. i am speaking from experience. i have family members who are female in exactly the same predicament. middle aged, no kids, living alone, in america, and not too happy but dont want to go to nigeria for fear of the unknown.

So the many Nigerians who are to this day UNMARRIED and living fulltime in Nigeria, what THEORY do you have on those? They are IDIOTS?

Kobojunkie:

So the many Nigerians who are to this day UNMARRIED and living fulltime in Nigeria, what THEORY do you have on those? They are IDIOTS?

to be alone and unmarried in a society that knows nothing about ageism and racism is far better than to be alone in a society that is fiercely ageist and racist. in nigeria so long as you still look decent at 40 years old sef, you will get tonnes of suitors.

eku_bear:

I believe that you can. I think leaving affects your ability to apply for citizenship. . . there is a 5 year rule required for applying for citizenship. Perhaps google and confirm?

Sure (the bolded part)? I have heard over and over that you can only stay away from the country for no more than 6 months if you hold a green card.

buzugee:

to be alone and unmarried in a society that knows nothing about ageism and racism is far better than to be alone in a society that is fiercely ageist and racist. in nigeria so long as you still look decent at 40 years old sef, you will get tonnes of suitors.

So you neva marry, 'old man', lol.

buzugee:

to be alone and unmarried in a society that knows nothing about ageism and racism is far better than to be alone in a society that is fiercely ageist and racist. in nigeria so long as you still look decent at 40 years old sef, you will get tonnes of suitors.

You really need your head checked! Millions across the west CHOOSE to remain alone especially because they can, in this society that rarely judges them by such, and we are speaking of people from all races . . . indians, Chinese, mexicans, blacks, whites, etc. Rather than visiting reality, you choose instead to spew trash, pretending it is fact to please whom?

@buzugee: I think you are walking near a land mine! Be very careful, some topics will only cause wahala  

omongbatim:

Sure (the bolded part)? I have heard over and over that you can only stay away from the country for no more than 6 months if you hold a green card.

Or you'll lose your green card? I'm pretty sure this is not true. Do some research and find out? I don't think you can lose your green card except for doing something illegal.

Leaving for 6 months means you have to restart the clock again for applying for citizenship, though. At least, this is what I remember for when I did my interview to gain citizenship.

all my big sisters friends after years of not finding hubby in england all moved to nigeria in their late thirties. today they all live in lekki and victoria island with their husbands in big houses and 1 or 2 kids. their british 'glow' brought the men to their milkshake as soon as they landed in naija  
my milkshake brings the boys to the yard  

frosbel:

So you neva marry, 'old man',  lol.   

this aint bout me playa  and i am a youngin

Kobojunkie:

You really need your head checked! Millions across the west CHOOSE to remain alone especially because they can, in this society that rarely judges them by such, and we are speaking of people from all races . . . indians, Chinese, mexicans, blacks, whites, etc. Rather than visiting reality, you choose instead to spew trash, pretending it is fact to please whom?

i am speaking about nigerian people. we have our cultures. our culture dictates that we have to be married with kids. to deny yourself that is to lie to yourself, especially if you are a woman. come on now. keep it real. how many women wanna be alone for the rest of their lives ?

eku_bear:

@buzugee: I think you are walking near a land mine! Be very careful, some topics will only cause wahala  
Or you'll lose your green card? I'm pretty sure this is not true. Do some research and find out? I don't think you can lose your green card except for doing something illegal.

Leaving for 6 months means you have to restart the clock again for applying for citizenship, though. At least, this is what I remember for when I did my interview to gain citizenship.

dont worry bruh i got my armor on. this armor is impregnable. i also got a gang of haterade cooling in the fridge. finna sip me a lil in a minute so i can deflect the haterz  whats good fam ?

buzugee:

i am speaking about nigerian people. we have our cultures. our culture dictates that we have to be married with kids. to deny yourself that is to lie to yourself, especially if you are a woman. come on now. keep it real. how many women wanna be alone for the rest of their lives ?

NO, you are not. Stop thinking all of Nigeria and America thinks as you do. Stick to spewing your opinion, as just that, YOUR opinion, which for the most part continues to ignore reality.