Good morning family. I need your advice. This post might be long. Kindly ignore my jargons.

I and my fiancée have been dating for years now (childhood love). 4 years ago, we broke up for like a year due to her infidelity. During that time, I was with different girls who are worse, except a girl (Bisi) who was a friend then, and was in a relationship as at then (I'll come back to this).

Back to 4 years ago, after we (i and my fiancée)broke up, things starts falling in its place, and I started living large. It all ended after we got back together, and I was back to square one. I thought it was because I was still in school, but it continued after school.

I met another girl last year, we were just friends, no strings attached. This girl told me that I have a problem, and that I'm not bothered about it. My response was that we all have different problem and that this was my trying times. She responded saying "is this how your life was few years ago?" She asked me to go out to a pastor and make my own findings. I've never seen this girl prior to this, we just talk on phone.

As per her advice, I went out to seek for a divine solution (I never believed in seeking spiritual solution from a pastor, Alfa or a traditional worshiper, but I did this time around). I was told that when things was good for me, I had a girl that I dated throughout that time, and that I should try and connect her again. I thought about it, and they were actually right. It was when I stopped calling this girl that things went south for me. I told them I don't have any connection with her again and that i can't connect her. I was later told to be observant, and that I'll meet another girl, and that thing will change for me.

Back to my friend, Bisi..... She was in an open relationship. I envied their relationship then, and I was crushing on her secretly ( I and my fiancée wasn't together then). I met Bisi recently and she told me she broke up with her boyfriend. We became friends again, and we started getting closer. She doesn't live in my town, and we don't see at all because I don't have the time. But I noticed she's all I want in a woman, and since I met her, my pocket never runs dry. I don't have that intention of dating her at first until I noticed my pocket.

Now that I'm engaged, my introduction is coming up soon, and my extended family members and my fiancée's are all aware of the date. I should have done the introduction months ago before this pandemic, but my fiancée said some hurtful and hateful words to me which I still remember and I'm still keeping it to myself. She also have some attitudes I've been correcting but never takes to correction.

I know you'll say when I noticed all the above, why can't i bail out? There's a saying : the devil you've known for long is better than an angel you just met. She's that devil I've known for long and she's been known and has the support of family and friends.
You'll also ask: will they live together with us? My answer is so dumb cos I thought I can't find anybody better than her, even though my pocket runs dry. And one of the pastors said things will get better with her.

The dilemma I'm in now is should I put the introduction on hold, or I should go ahead with it for further observation on Bisi, or I should just carry my cross and work things out with my fiancée.... A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage, so they say.

Insults are welcomed, just for me to be a better me.

NB: I'm not in a relationship with Bisi (not her real name)

Op you have summarized the whole episode with these;
A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage and
The devil you know is better than the angel you don't know.
But note that some women tends to bring good luck while some the opposite after marriage. Why not go on your knees and seek God's direction and if you have made up your mind with your fiancée then introduce her to Bisi since you said you're not in a relationship with her thereby maintaining your relationship with Bisi. Remember buying her gifts once in a while won't be bad.
The best of luck.
Nairalanders may we always meet people that will have positive impact in our lives and let the ones that will wreck us be far from us. Happy Sunday and God bless us all.

Your mata confuse me sef.

While in love, make sure you don't skip logical thoughts for illogical ones. Marriage is till death do us path, make sure you marry the lady that's reasonable, a lady that fits into your future plan.

If you go carry person wey no gree change now because you dey fell say she go change after marriage, your eyes go chi sumtin, you go know say Devil Na always devil and Angel Na always angel.

Hurtful and hateful words from your so called fiancée? it is well with you, my guy!

The devil you know is not always better than the angel you don't know oo. Marry ur fiancée and be saddled with misfortunes. You may end up giving up before ur time and in penury.

But if you feel she's d one, go ahead but you'll need to have a stronger spirit to hold down d Forte.

If you think Bisi is your best choice then go for her. You know better and as regards your pocket and the pastor you sought, I hope it isn't your mind playing tricks on you.
Please put the introduction on hold at the moment and search within yourself on the most peaceful decision as regards your choice.

I wish you the best.

Assurance001:
Op you have summarized the whole episode with these;
A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage and
The devil you know is better than the angel you don't know.
But note that some women tends to bring good luck while some the opposite after marriage. Why not go on your knees and seek God's direction and if you have made up your mind with your fiancée then introduce her to Bisi since you said you're not in a relationship with her thereby maintaining your relationship with Bisi. Remember buying her gifts once in a while won't be bad.
The best of luck.
Nairalanders may we always meet people that will have positive impact in our lives and let the ones that will wreck us be far from us. Happy Sunday and God bless us all.

I am falling in Love already cos of this

Assurance001:
Op you have summarized the whole episode with these;
A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage and
The devil you know is better than the angel you don't know.
But note that some women tends to bring good luck while some the opposite after marriage. Why not go on your knees and seek God's direction and if you have made up your mind with your fiancée then introduce her to Bisi since you said you're not in a relationship with her thereby maintaining your relationship with Bisi. Remember buying her gifts once in a while won't be bad.
The best of luck.
Nairalanders may we always meet people that will have positive impact in our lives and let the ones that will wreck us be far from us. Happy Sunday and God bless us all.

Thanks for the above. I said in the post that she said some hurtful words like she can't live with me in penury. I never considered this. I'm still struggling, and planning to leave this country soon. But my sponsor, ie my parent said my wife should be pregnant before I travel. That's why I'm rushing things before I met Bisi. I'm really confused ma'am

Lisabi01:
Good morning family. I need your advice. This post might be long. Kindly ignore my jargons.

I and my fiancée have been dating for years now (childhood love). 4 years ago, we broke up for like a year due to her infidelity. During that time, I was with different girls who are worse, except a girl (Bisi) who was a friend then, and was in a relationship as at then (I'll come back to this).

Back to 4 years ago, after we (i and my fiancée)broke up, things starts falling in its place, and I started living large. It all ended after we got back together, and I was back to square one. I thought it was because I was still in school, but it continued after school.

I met another girl last year, we were just friends, no strings attached. This girl told me that I have a problem, and that I'm not bothered about it. My response was that we all have different problem and that this was my trying times. She responded saying "is this how your life was few years ago?" She asked me to go out to a pastor and make my own findings. I've never seen this girl prior to this, we just talk on phone.

As per her advice, I went out to seek for a divine solution (I never believed in seeking spiritual solution from a pastor, Alfa or a traditional worshiper, but I did this time around). I was told that when things was good for me, I had a girl that I dated throughout that time, and that I should try and connect her again. I thought about it, and they were actually right. It was when I stopped calling this girl that things went south for me. I told them I don't have any connection with her again and that i can't connect her. I was later told to be observant, and that I'll meet another girl, and that thing will change for me.

Back to my friend, Bisi..... She was in an open relationship. I envied their relationship then, and I was crushing on her secretly ( I and my fiancée wasn't together then). I met Bisi recently and she told me she broke up with her boyfriend. We became friends again, and we started getting closer. She doesn't live in my town, and we don't see at all because I don't have the time. But I noticed she's all I want in a woman, and since I met her, my pocket never runs dry. I don't have that intention of dating her at first until I noticed my pocket.

Now that I'm engaged, my introduction is coming up soon, and my extended family members and my fiancée's are all aware of the date. I should have done the introduction months ago before this pandemic, but my fiancée said some hurtful and hateful words to me which I still remember and I'm still keeping it to myself. She also have some attitudes I've been correcting but never takes to correction.

I know you'll say when I noticed all the above, why can't i bail out? There's a saying : the devil you've known for long is better than an angel you just met. She's that devil I've known for long and she's been known and has the support of family and friends.
You'll also ask: will they live together with us? My answer is so dumb cos I thought I can't find anybody better than her, even though my pocket runs dry. And one of the pastors said things will get better with her.

The dilemma I'm in now is should I put the introduction on hold, or I should go ahead with it for further observation on Bisi, or I should just carry my cross and work things out with my fiancée.... A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage, so they say.

Insults are welcomed, just for me to be a better me.

NB: I'm not in a relationship with Bisi (not her real name)

First of all your fiancé cheat on u n you took her back with the excuse of the devil. Wait till you get married to her she will put you 6ft below. Secondly you have self esteem issues by thinking you can’t get a better girl than her and your excuse is she’s the source to your progress.
Drop this beta cuck mindset n take time off relationships to learn about yourself n free the slut of a fiancée. Daummm bro you are a real disgrace to manhood.

Mehn self esteem issues oh,who is rushing u bro?So u want to give ur lofe time for settling for less,why r u marrying if its nt a joyous something? Men rethink ur life is at stake here.Goodluck

I rather stick to the one that brings good fortune to me...

Since ur finacee brings dry pocket to u, my brother flee, and build ur love around Bisi..

If u get married to that ur fiancee and funds stops coming, U will receive a great shock from her...

Break up the engagement. If she says hurtful words to you now don't think she will change. It will only get worse. Plus her badluck..
Get the one that has good fortune with her, at least you'll be favoured.

It might end in tear's.. What you cannot change in a relationship you cannot change in marriage....

I have nothing to say OP,
i got lost at the mid point of your story

Guy you already know what you want. You never said your fiancée is all you want in a woman, but you said Bisi is. You know the right person for you and the necessary steps to take but you don't have the balls to do it because of "FEAR"; fear of disappointing your family and friends

Don't marry anyone because of promise or any kind of pity whatsoever, and the statement that " the devil you know is better than the Angel you don't know" is very very wrong,it isn't always true.Your fiancée is the one everyone see as your wife to be, but in your heart and mind it's Bisi you see and really want as wife

If you don't brace yourself up and do the right thing now,you will regret it forever

Explain how dating bisi brought you fat pocket

Was she giving you money?

Because I just see you as a stucked womaniser

Ok

Wow.

You, the Alfa, bisi, your fiancée, your pocket, are all mad! Must your destiny be connected to women? You came into this world alone,and you alone is responsible for your fate and the outcome of your life

I would advise you to ignore all the girls you had had relationship with before and currently.


Find a new lover and make her your gold.

When it comes to marriage, I leave the decisions for the parties involved , to make.

We can only come in to help with our herbs, when there are sperm issues and erectile dysfunction.

https://www.nairaland.com/3152927/testimonies-100-herbal-tea-cures#46368527

u already knew where u r heading to; don't just ask us for asking sake...

Oga this your story isn't complete.

There's no such things as good luck from the people you are dating....


You should know that, your efforts works things out for you at the right time. And your prayers see you through.


About your confusion, you alone know what you want. You should never be afraid to make any decision that you feel you ought to make.


I was dating a girl like that and I was always afraid to leave her, I never knew any other girl accept her. I was always holding on to her being better than the devil I don't know. Baba, when I finally took that step to date another girl...life became very easy and smooth.

If your fiancee is someone you know that you aren't entirely convinced with, baba move on. Infidelity no the get break time, the thing deh her blood.

Your story is too long, update us when you write a shorter version.

Meanwhile, crownedrookie = bunnae = Aududunine11 = GentRoyal = moreb2cum = homo!

Ok

any mistake you make in this life, don't ever try to think about taking a girl to the church out of pity, maybe because you promised her earlier, you once loved her or because you think things would get well during marriage....dts a lie

Don't marry her. These girls are not worth it. When it even as much as becomes something you have to 'consider', then don't go ahead with it. It sounds funny, but there are actually good girls out there...but the overwhelming majority are already damaged goods and are trying to force guys to be marrying them like that as the new normal.

Advice yourself, even if we do, you won't follow it, only you know yourself

Wait I command you to like this post