| Re: Upcoming Wedding Palava by hustla(m): 3:51pm On May 18, 2021 |
Ishilove:
Single sense she no get. After we come to dance and eat their life savings at their flamboyant wedding, we will clean our buttocks, bid them adieu and leave them alone with the debts. Wetin be my own Same woman go dey nag cos money no dey after marriage smh 2 Likes |
| Re: Upcoming Wedding Palava by BRATISLAVA: 3:51pm On May 18, 2021 |
Annoms:
I'm sure I'll even be the one to pay for her wedding gown and accessories.  Aren't you the one who wants to marry her? If this is your attitude now, you will become one of those men who complain about taking care of their families. She's not holding a gun to your head. 1 Like |
| Re: Upcoming Wedding Palava by DAramis: 3:51pm On May 18, 2021 |
baralatie:
Already the union has scattered because op fiancee is already fighting him because of what the mom said.what her mother in law said.
Ha!
They won't last
Do you know the op said the wedding is coating him #4 million Na op wan spend that kind money. Max 1.5million should be budgeted for it. Then plead economy crises as factor for limited spending. 1 Like |
| Re: Upcoming Wedding Palava by Segzy19: 3:52pm On May 18, 2021 |
Bro, don't let her ruin you.
If you give in to her demands, both of you will sleep on the floor after your wedding.
Find a way to convince her.
If your mum's advice will save you like say 1million, tell her you will give her like 350k personally. Meanwhile you will still spend the rest on the home needs after wedding o.
Again, stop telling her the source of your idea especially if it's from your mother. Those girls will always complain no matter how good the suggestion is; inasmuch as it's from you mum
All those girls don't think properly.
What's the big deal in wedding?
It is left to you to use your brain or heart. 1 Like |
| Re: Upcoming Wedding Palava by 00FFT00(m): 3:52pm On May 18, 2021 |
Biglittlelois:
Your mistake is, you shouldn't have told her your mum suggested it, you would have said that it was your idea, you should have brought up the topic in a way that will make her see reasons why it is logical to cut cost, instead of calling her on phone saying bla bla your mum bla bla, and i can imagine you saying it in a bossy way sef, it is her wedding as she said, as it is yours too, make her feel like she's in charge but you're the one controlling things on the side, very simple
Most times it is you men that majorly cause unnecessary animosity between your mother and wives, you guys don't know how to present a case smoothly without bringing up issues. There's absolutely nothing wrong with what and how OP brought the topic to his fiancee. The problem I see is you women and your sense of entitlement. What's at issue here is a woman who is bereft of tact. Her reaction was simply untenable. What stopped her saying, "Babe, let's get some sleep, we'll talk it over tomorrow". Marriage requires maturity. Let me even give you that OP is completely wrong, which he is definitely not, buying time until the next day would have given both of them a little time to exhale. Or are we to assume that a mother cannot make suggestions whatsoever to her Son on such an important occasion?. What's in discussion here is "suggestion", not "Insistence" or " Dictate". You even suggested that he ought to lie to his partner by saying that it is his idea. With this mindset, little wonder marriages are crashing like desert sand dunes. 3 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Upcoming Wedding Palava by DAramis: 3:54pm On May 18, 2021 |
Tonyspecial:
we dey complain sey the money too much na, him wan feed the whole South-east ni How na.. the traditional na for the girl parents place it will hold. Feeding and drinks is very important in that place than any other place. Church wedding, na small thing. E no dey to cost for feeding people... just do give away or take away e don do but traditional, lie lie food and drinks must go round. 2 Likes |
| Re: Upcoming Wedding Palava by strangest(m): 3:56pm On May 18, 2021 |
let's be considerate...
you are from SW and wants to marry(trad) a SE in SW... does her elders live in SW?
Oga you have to come down to SE to meet her elders... |
| Re: Upcoming Wedding Palava by Kingharzyz(m): 3:56pm On May 18, 2021 |
Life after wedding is the koko... I budgeted 150k for my wedding in 2016; I was 28years and didn't exceed the budget, 18months later I finished my first house. Now my wife dey claim landlady for tenant’s..  Nigeria is not a country where you're spending your hard earned money anyhow, anything can happen to your source of income and the story will change. Invest your money as much as you can. Avoid spending lavishly. 3 Likes |
| Re: Upcoming Wedding Palava by lexylexy9: 3:57pm On May 18, 2021 |
She never ready to marry. She's still too young to understand current economic reality, after all she never work earn money before. Modesty is very key, besides we don't know where we heading to as a country.
] |
| Re: Upcoming Wedding Palava by BRATISLAVA: 3:58pm On May 18, 2021 |
BamBamK:
In this day and age, any woman who still values the wedding more than the marriage should not be taken seriously. Put your feet down! If she won't accept, let get GO! Even those who have nonsensical small weddings still have bad marriages, so all this talk about cheap weddings is pointless. Do what you like, don't try and pin the success of any marriage on the cost. Some people want them big, others want them small. At the end of the day it is the two people involved who will make it work. Not by how cheap or expensive it is. 1 Like |
| Re: Upcoming Wedding Palava by ogwuche4u(m): 3:58pm On May 18, 2021 |
michigang:
Depends on if she's a virgin Obviously he has worked on it. |
| Re: Upcoming Wedding Palava by TheGift: 4:00pm On May 18, 2021 |
"I was relating this to my fiancée yesterday in a phone call, when she flared up and said I should have consulted her to seek her opinion on this marriage arrangement before going to my family to seek theirs "That bolded part is an indicator of your problem. What is more important is not whether She agrees with your Mum, but whether She agrees with you and you with Her. If you agree with your Mum focus on your reasons for agreeing with your Mum and leave mentioning your Mum out of it, as it indicates you don't have a mind of your own. Be a gentleman and try to help Her see reason with you, also ask Her opinion on how you guys can go about it in a win-win way. I wish you all the best. Annoms:
I'll try to make this short.
Yesterday I was having a conversation with my fiancée about my mum's suggestion about how to go about our wedding which is scheduled to take place Jan next year. My mum suggested that we do both trad and white wedding on the same day to cut cost. She opined that we do the white wedding in the morning and hold the traditional marriage as a reception in the afternoon. I pretty much see reasons from her perspective considering the harsh economic condition in Nigeria.
I was relating this to my fiancée yesterday in a phone call, when she flared up and said I should have consulted her to seek her opinion on this marriage arrangement before going to my family to seek theirs because I said my mum's advise seems okay.
What I deduce from her plight was that she wants the trad marriage at the village (south-east) while the white at the town where we base (South-West). That was what I initially wanted but due to high inflation in the land, I'm actually tilting towards my mum advise because I can't go bankruptcy just because I want to satisfy her. Why not use a stone to kill two birds?
She wants a cream-de-la-cream kind of wedding but she's not ready to assist financially to make that happen. (she's an awaiting corper)
I told her that the cost of transportation and lodging people from the village (hers and mine) to the city for our white marriage alone is gulping about 500/600k. That's transportation & lodging alone ooo.. I'll now spend if not x2 of what I spent on trad for white.. Why not just do everything in the village and move on with our lives? We can actually have it in the village and it will still be all nice and glamourous.
She said she wants to have a say in how her marriage will look like. Her imput is welcomed. But if she still insist on having the white wedding and not putting finances into consideration. I'm thinking that she want the white wedding on the city because of her friends who will attend which is not enough reason to go bankruptcy for.
It was a heated argument yesterday. We both went to bed angrily and not in talking terms till now
Pls advice accordingly. Thanks |
| Re: Upcoming Wedding Palava by annro101(m): 4:00pm On May 18, 2021 |
That's crazy. Tho our female folks don't reason how starting a new home what it requires. Look at the situation of our economy. A lots of people are broke this period. They may still come to your wedding, eat everything, if you expect they will contribute to you as it was before, It's a big lie. My brother cut your coat according to your seize. After the wedding you need to upgrade at least as a man. Tho I'm trying to judge your financial status tho. Safe and rethink |
| Re: Upcoming Wedding Palava by baralatie(m): 4:00pm On May 18, 2021 |
PopeP:
What is the meaning Apolo? If is an insult, is not fair. I made my opinion, you can do the same without insult. God bless you. I was not insulting o! You mean as a man that want to cough out #4 million for a wedding.his mother now raised a suggestion "son let us have a 2 in one wedding on the same day to save cost".the man now picks up his phone to his fiancee " hello wifey! I was speaking with my mom and mom had this suggestion about the wedding to reduce cost" what is expected of the Fiancee is to tell op! It is a great idea but what we should do is that let your mom call my mom to make that suggestion as a result the two families can make the plan of the wedding in the light of such a suggestion not the fiancee insulting her husband to be because of his mother's suggestion 2 Likes |
| Re: Upcoming Wedding Palava by Chrisceejay: 4:05pm On May 18, 2021 |
duduade:
Red flags
Are you sure this one will hear word in the house like this... Marriage isnt about the wedding abeg.. And i suppose till now she hasnt called you to "lets sort this out" ... No communication... This one will bully you till you fall for her demands... Is this a wife material...
She wants a dream wedding and isnt ready to contribute to it financially
The 500 to 600k is money that can be saved and diverted to something else better. Her priorities are different from yours... Obviously not well matured...
I were in your shoes... I will put ALL PLANS on hold until both parties come to the middle..
In short walk away why you can... Cancelling an engagement wont kill you...
i support u the marriage will soon crash as the woman cannot even surrender to some circumstances like this. 1 Like |
| Re: Upcoming Wedding Palava by Dannyilo(m): 4:06pm On May 18, 2021 |
That's a red flag. She will starting dragging space with your Mom when you eventually get married, your Mom's advice is the best. I did my wedding 9years ago same pattern your Mom advised you. Its obvious she is still a child that thinks the wedding ends at the ceremony. Mark my words, if you go broke, she will use it against you. A man is supposed to know what he wants and not being cajoled by a lady for the purpose of greasing her ego.
If she no grew, make she bring half of the money or else, make she *park and go* 2 Likes |
| Re: Upcoming Wedding Palava by Geenosko: 4:06pm On May 18, 2021 |
duduade:
Red flags
Are you sure this one will hear word in the house like this... Marriage isnt about the wedding abeg.. And i suppose till now she hasnt called you to "lets sort this out" ... No communication... This one will bully you till you fall for her demands... Is this a wife material...
She wants a dream wedding and isnt ready to contribute to it financially
The 500 to 600k is money that can be saved and diverted to something else better. Her priorities are different from yours... Obviously not well matured...
I were in your shoes... I will put ALL PLANS on hold until both parties come to the middle..
In short walk away why you can... Cancelling an engagement wont kill you...
Massive red flag!! |
| Re: Upcoming Wedding Palava by Nobody: 4:06pm On May 18, 2021 |
Annoms:
I'll try to make this short.
Yesterday I was having a conversation with my fiancée about my mum's suggestion about how to go about our wedding which is scheduled to take place Jan next year. My mum suggested that we do both trad and white wedding on the same day to cut cost. She opined that we do the white wedding in the morning and hold the traditional marriage as a reception in the afternoon. I pretty much see reasons from her perspective considering the harsh economic condition in Nigeria.
I was relating this to my fiancée yesterday in a phone call, when she flared up and said I should have consulted her to seek her opinion on this marriage arrangement before going to my family to seek theirs because I said my mum's advise seems okay.
What I deduce from her plight was that she wants the trad marriage at the village (south-east) while the white at the town where we base (South-West). That was what I initially wanted but due to high inflation in the land, I'm actually tilting towards my mum advise because I can't go bankruptcy just because I want to satisfy her. Why not use a stone to kill two birds?
She wants a cream-de-la-cream kind of wedding but she's not ready to assist financially to make that happen. (she's an awaiting corper)
I told her that the cost of transportation and lodging people from the village (hers and mine) to the city for our white marriage alone is gulping about 500/600k. That's transportation & lodging alone ooo.. I'll now spend if not x2 of what I spent on trad for white.. Why not just do everything in the village and move on with our lives? We can actually have it in the village and it will still be all nice and glamourous.
She said she wants to have a say in how her marriage will look like. Her imput is welcomed. But if she still insist on having the white wedding and not putting finances into consideration. I'm thinking that she want the white wedding on the city because of her friends who will attend which is not enough reason to go bankruptcy for.
It was a heated argument yesterday. We both went to bed angrily and not in talking terms till now
Pls advice accordingly. Thanks dodge bullet dodge bullet 2 Likes |
| Re: Upcoming Wedding Palava by davidnazee: 4:06pm On May 18, 2021 |
Annoms:
I'll try to make this short.
Yesterday I was having a conversation with my fiancée about my mum's suggestion about how to go about our wedding which is scheduled to take place Jan next year. My mum suggested that we do both trad and white wedding on the same day to cut cost. She opined that we do the white wedding in the morning and hold the traditional marriage as a reception in the afternoon. I pretty much see reasons from her perspective considering the harsh economic condition in Nigeria.
I was relating this to my fiancée yesterday in a phone call, when she flared up and said I should have consulted her to seek her opinion on this marriage arrangement before going to my family to seek theirs because I said my mum's advise seems okay.
What I deduce from her plight was that she wants the trad marriage at the village (south-east) while the white at the town where we base (South-West). That was what I initially wanted but due to high inflation in the land, I'm actually tilting towards my mum advise because I can't go bankruptcy just because I want to satisfy her. Why not use a stone to kill two birds?
She wants a cream-de-la-cream kind of wedding but she's not ready to assist financially to make that happen. (she's an awaiting corper)
I told her that the cost of transportation and lodging people from the village (hers and mine) to the city for our white marriage alone is gulping about 500/600k. That's transportation & lodging alone ooo.. I'll now spend if not x2 of what I spent on trad for white.. Why not just do everything in the village and move on with our lives? We can actually have it in the village and it will still be all nice and glamourous.
She said she wants to have a say in how her marriage will look like. Her imput is welcomed. But if she still insist on having the white wedding and not putting finances into consideration. I'm thinking that she want the white wedding on the city because of her friends who will attend which is not enough reason to go bankruptcy for.
It was a heated argument yesterday. We both went to bed angrily and not in talking terms till now
Pls advice accordingly. Thanks Bro, wedding day is always the woman 's day.. its a special day for them so its normal for them to call the shots even if u are footing the bills. So if u love her and really see her as someone you want to spend the rest of ur life with then let her have her way.. best thing to do is cut down on each expense for both locations. If u were paying for hall of 500k, change to 250k hall. If u were hiring luxury buses for transportation change to molue or cheaper transportation, look for cheaper hotels, etc.. doing that will reduce the costs by almost half so everyone is happy.. |
| Re: Upcoming Wedding Palava by justmondris: 4:07pm On May 18, 2021 |
Although you and your mum have valid reasons, you should have discussed with her first before consulting your mum. Your partner should always be the first person to discuss anything with before discussing it with a third party including your mum.
I think she is actually upset because you never explained your worries about the marriage preparation to her before discussing it with a third party. If you had explained to her and make her to see reasons, she would have understood your concerns and both of you would have come up with a cheaper plan.
What you just did makes it seems to me and to her that you are a mum’s boy who cannot discuss with his partner and come up with a better solution without involving a third party.
I will advice you to calm her down and explain your concerns to her in a language she will understand. Don’t expect an immediate positive response from her. Try hard to convince her and if no matter how hard you tried she is still not putting the financial implication into consideration , and she still wants you to go ahead with her plan even if it means borrowing money from the bank, please flee for your life and don’t marry her. That is a great sign that she is not a wife material and she is not ready to build the future with you.
Thanks for reading 1 Like |
| Re: Upcoming Wedding Palava by TOPCRUISE(m): 4:08pm On May 18, 2021 |
OP intend to marry a slay queen. You have not married her and she is suggesting how she is going to slay you.  4 Likes |
| Re: Upcoming Wedding Palava by somehow: 4:08pm On May 18, 2021 |
Any advise you get outside that you subscribe to, never reveal the source.
Personalize the information before sharing with her.
She's already competing with your mum.
A woman that wants the best should be ready to spend for the best. 1 Like |
| Re: Upcoming Wedding Palava by Newboss(m): 4:08pm On May 18, 2021 |
Such a selfish vagina. Dump her ass 1 Like |
| Re: Upcoming Wedding Palava by Adebowalay(m): 4:09pm On May 18, 2021 |
duduade:
Red flags
Are you sure this one will hear word in the house like this... Marriage isnt about the wedding abeg.. And i suppose till now she hasnt called you to "lets sort this out" ... No communication... This one will bully you till you fall for her demands... Is this a wife material...
She wants a dream wedding and isnt ready to contribute to it financially
The 500 to 600k is money that can be saved and diverted to something else better. Her priorities are different from yours... Obviously not well matured...
I were in your shoes... I will put ALL PLANS on hold until both parties come to the middle..
In short walk away why you can... Cancelling an engagement wont kill you...
� |
| Re: Upcoming Wedding Palava by Nobody: 4:10pm On May 18, 2021 |
baralatie:
I was not insulting o!
You mean as a man that want to cough out #4 million for a wedding.his mother now raised a suggestion "son let us have a 2 in one wedding on the same day to save cost".the man now picks up his phone to his fiancee " hello wifey! I was speaking with my mom and mom had this suggestion about the wedding to reduce cost"
what is expected of the Fiancee is to tell op! It is a great idea but what we should do is that let your mom call my mom to make that suggestion as a result the two families can make the plan of the wedding in the light of such a suggestion
not the fiancee insulting her husband to be because of his mother's suggestion I agree with you and the mother. But this is marriage, is all about a man and the wife. If she is angry that he did not discuss with her first, for the sake of peace, just tell her sorry and everything will be fine. She will agree with the mothers idea and everything we move 1 Like |
| Re: Upcoming Wedding Palava by SirBunky85(m): 4:13pm On May 18, 2021 |
Biglittlelois:
Your mistake is, you shouldn't have told her your mum suggested it, you would have said that it was your idea, you should have brought up the topic in a way that will make her see reasons why it is logical to cut cost, instead of calling her on phone saying bla bla your mum bla bla, and i can imagine you saying it in a bossy way sef, it is her wedding as she said, as it is yours too, make her feel like she's in charge but you're the one controlling things on the side, very simple
Most times it is you men that majorly cause unnecessary animosity between your mother and wives, you guys don't know how to present a case smoothly without bringing up issues. nonsense submission. He did well by telling her it's his mum that advised him. If the said Lady can't see reasons,she should assist financially or leave. 1 Like |
| Re: Upcoming Wedding Palava by FashionCookie(f): 4:15pm On May 18, 2021 |
I no go do white wedding. I always say it. Traditional and statutory wedding(court marriage) is enough. And it will take place on the same day. Why should I kill myself over a Whiteman's traditional marriage? If peope sitdown to calculate the money spent alone on white weddings...them go give themselves brain. 3 Likes |
| Re: Upcoming Wedding Palava by annro101(m): 4:15pm On May 18, 2021 |
I understand. But to some extent she needs to realize that you guys will need to upgrade at least as a man. You need to move out from self contained apartment to at least 2 bedroom apartment couple with home facilities. Make she no expect say people still the give money for wedding now o , except one of her brother is a governor. So rethink n safe . Annoms:
I'm sure I'll even be the one to pay for her wedding gown and accessories. |
| Re: Upcoming Wedding Palava by zedegit: 4:16pm On May 18, 2021 |
Annoms:
I'll try to make this short.
Yesterday I was having a conversation with my fiancée about my mum's suggestion about how to go about our wedding which is scheduled to take place Jan next year. My mum suggested that we do both trad and white wedding on the same day to cut cost. She opined that we do the white wedding in the morning and hold the traditional marriage as a reception in the afternoon. I pretty much see reasons from her perspective considering the harsh economic condition in Nigeria.
I was relating this to my fiancée yesterday in a phone call, when she flared up and said I should have consulted her to seek her opinion on this marriage arrangement before going to my family to seek theirs because I said my mum's advise seems okay.
What I deduce from her plight was that she wants the trad marriage at the village (south-east) while the white at the town where we base (South-West). That was what I initially wanted but due to high inflation in the land, I'm actually tilting towards my mum advise because I can't go bankruptcy just because I want to satisfy her. Why not use a stone to kill two birds?
She wants a cream-de-la-cream kind of wedding but she's not ready to assist financially to make that happen. (she's an awaiting corper)
I told her that the cost of transportation and lodging people from the village (hers and mine) to the city for our white marriage alone is gulping about 500/600k. That's transportation & lodging alone ooo.. I'll now spend if not x2 of what I spent on trad for white.. Why not just do everything in the village and move on with our lives? We can actually have it in the village and it will still be all nice and glamourous.
She said she wants to have a say in how her marriage will look like. Her imput is welcomed. But if she still insist on having the white wedding and not putting finances into consideration. I'm thinking that she want the white wedding on the city because of her friends who will attend which is not enough reason to go bankruptcy for.
It was a heated argument yesterday. We both went to bed angrily and not in talking terms till now
Pls advice accordingly. Thanks Let her go because you can't say you are not seeing all the red flags. Tell her to deposit #1million and you will do it her way. She's a liability and feeling entitled too. Although you should not have told her it was your mum's input. You need to be wise in future. 1 Like |
| Re: Upcoming Wedding Palava by baralatie(m): 4:17pm On May 18, 2021 |
PopeP:
I agree with you and the mother. But this is marriage, is all about a man and the wife. If she is angry that he did not discuss with her first, for the sake of peace, just tell her sorry and everything will be fine. She will agree with the mothers idea and everything we move Marriage is about the man and his wife.Agreed! But it is more about the kind,type and manner of communication that exist between them and most importantly how conflicts are resolved. The question is "on what basis does he want to tell her sorry for?" Is it sorry for sorry sake and go ahead and spend #4 million Or sorry for sorry sake go ahead to follow his mom's suggestion Or sorry from both of them towards each other for been childish and then resolve their issues |
| Re: Upcoming Wedding Palava by yemi1504: 4:18pm On May 18, 2021 |
Annoms:
I'll try to make this short.
Yesterday I was having a conversation with my fiancée about my mum's suggestion about how to go about our wedding which is scheduled to take place Jan next year. My mum suggested that we do both trad and white wedding on the same day to cut cost. She opined that we do the white wedding in the morning and hold the traditional marriage as a reception in the afternoon. I pretty much see reasons from her perspective considering the harsh economic condition in Nigeria.
I was relating this to my fiancée yesterday in a phone call, when she flared up and said I should have consulted her to seek her opinion on this marriage arrangement before going to my family to seek theirs because I said my mum's advise seems okay.
What I deduce from her plight was that she wants the trad marriage at the village (south-east) while the white at the town where we base (South-West). That was what I initially wanted but due to high inflation in the land, I'm actually tilting towards my mum advise because I can't go bankruptcy just because I want to satisfy her. Why not use a stone to kill two birds?
She wants a cream-de-la-cream kind of wedding but she's not ready to assist financially to make that happen. (she's an awaiting corper)
I told her that the cost of transportation and lodging people from the village (hers and mine) to the city for our white marriage alone is gulping about 500/600k. That's transportation & lodging alone ooo.. I'll now spend if not x2 of what I spent on trad for white.. Why not just do everything in the village and move on with our lives? We can actually have it in the village and it will still be all nice and glamourous.
She said she wants to have a say in how her marriage will look like. Her imput is welcomed. But if she still insist on having the white wedding and not putting finances into consideration. I'm thinking that she want the white wedding on the city because of her friends who will attend which is not enough reason to go bankruptcy for.
It was a heated argument yesterday. We both went to bed angrily and not in talking terms till now
Pls advice accordingly. Thanks You are talking about finances when you forgot something,the insecurity in the country on our roads. No one should be travelling now when it is not necessary. Biko, they should be both be done in the same place but different days at least to yield to what she said a little bit. My 2 cents. 1 Like |
| Re: Upcoming Wedding Palava by samwillyco1(m): 4:19pm On May 18, 2021 |
2 Likes |
