CyberG:

Look, MADAM, do not even bother to respond to me anymore! I don't know you but I know your type and YOU DESERVE all you got because that is exactly girls like you deserve! I will tell you a few more things you haven't thought about:

1. It's only a pretentious "Americanized" girl who will tell someone who gave you brutally frank opinions he is "myopic"! You moved here, NOT EVEN BORN IN ANY PART OF THE WESTERN WORLD, but MOVED when you were already an aging hag at 24! Not 4, not 14 but 24! See your NL ID: NYGirl! In your mind, you are more of a New York girl than the ones who even their great grandparents were slaves in NY! How about the "free-borns"? They have not taken on the NYGirl monicker but you are "Girl FROM NY" after about 6 years or less in America? You are really so silly and blind, not just "myopic"! Your BF is about 30, so you are around that age and in 6 years, you have forgotten 24 years of your "Nigerianness"? If you could get off your dwarfish wooden horse, you will not need a sledge hammer to have this hammered into your small brain.

2. You are obviously not smart enough to understand that I pointed out in my post that even just a little disrespect more than "acceptable" by a guy will NEVER be forgiven or forgotten! So, not being a "saint" is so subjective that he may actually hate your guts for it and after waiting to see if you would change or turn a new leaf, he had to bite the bullet and dump you where your heart will never be healed after a thousand counsels. Guess what, you still are not getting it with the way you are still defending yourself - which leads me to my next point.

3. You obviously lost your "argument" with this one guy and he dumped you. If you couldn't manage a conversation with someone you dated for 2 years to achieve your objective of marriage, how do you think you can possibly win an argument with people who are light years of your mental capability, even at your peak? That means if you were to achieve maximal smartness at some point in life (which you are not now), you will still be far behind in your mental capacity compared to a lot of people here who you have no clue about. How are you going to slag off everyone's opinion and push your loser opinion down our throats to show you are right and we are wrong?

4. Understand that some people lived out of Nigeria (even in America) long before you barely managed to cross the bother to obodo oyibo. Now, to now come here and be spouting off BS is very annoying because a 24 year old girl should already have enough sense and if not, should learn from others and not come here to defend or lecture me (us)! Guess what? For your type, I don't care, I could never care because there are several of your type I see in "America" who will end-up just like you! You have a good job, do you know what I do or the people who gave you brutally frank opinions do? I don't care what "good job" you have, it is rubbish job especially when you make that your anchor point for relationship or marriage! If that job makes you $200 K, heck, $100K P.A. then come and tell us about it. And after that, know this: a REAL guy will NEVER marry any girl, including your sorry backside, because of a good job or money! In fact, a girl that is not employed at the moment or makes minimum wage but is truly pleasing to a guy will get married while "ol-good-job-aging-hag" like you will go past menopause and still bitterly single!

5. You are no "proper daughter of the soil" - spare me that crap! I have been all over the Igbo states and proper daughters will not bring this kind of disgrace by addressing strangers who are light years ahead of you like they depend on you for breakfast-lunch-dinner! Keep your silly good job that you labor and hustle to feed yourself and use as a bargaining tool for negotiating a marriage. I do not CARE! Now, that is basic common sense that YOU really LACK and you have proved it with your silly statements here! BTW, someone suggested it may be sham marriage and that your brain didn't think about yet! But now that someone mentioned it, your teeth is already on edge to see if you can nail him by reporting him to the authorities? Did your poisonous and wicked teeth into him real good? LOL. . .give us the update after you spend the rest of your life policing his life.

6. Finally, it's obvious you didn't notice that I mentioned you would be vindicated if you did not deserve this but apparently, you know there wouldn't be any vindication as you already jumped at every commentator with daggers drawn! Well, don't burst a nerve because I don't care to buy the BS you are selling! If you did right, your conscience will put you at peace and there will be other guys to take over where the guy left off but if not, start over again and learn the lesson!

LOL. my dear, who hurt you? call her and read this to her. she is the rightful recipient of this diatribe.
OP, confirm that this is true. did you hear this from anyone else? it was supposed to be this past saturday. if it did happen, take heart. you will be better off in the long run. do not contact him under any circumstances. right now you are weak and will probably fall for whatever he tells you. best to cut your losses and keep moving.

@Poster
Nne you must be going through an unpleasant time right now but try and smile through the rain. Joy comes in the morning, see it as a turning point to a greater height in your life okay. Don't go a sorrowing all over the place, it will hurt definitely but find things to channel your energy into like sports, social/volunteer, educational or religious activities and you won't have the time to feel sad about it all okay.

If he walked away, he didn't appreciate you enough to want to be with you and you mustn't be hard on yourself over somebody that does not care deeply about you. Appreciate, love and take care of yourself, when your set time comes the right person will bring you joy and happiness. It is even good that he wandered away now than leaving you after marrying you or something.

I will advise that you ignore the jabs being thrown at you by insensitive and sickening persons in this thread. Don't bother going down/stooping low or engaging in argument with such. Pay them no mind okay. Everything is going to be alright.

Ivynwa:

@Poster
Nne you must be going through an unpleasant time right now but try and smile through the rain. Joy comes in the morning, see it as a turning point to a greater height in your life okay. Don't go a sorrowing all over the place, it will hurt definitely but find things to channel your energy into like sports, social/volunteer, educational or religious activities and you won't have the time to feel sad about it all okay.

If he walked away, he didn't appreciate you enough to want to be with you and you mustn't be hard on yourself over somebody that does not care deeply about you. Appreciate, love and take care of yourself, when your set time comes the right person will bring you joy and happiness. It is even good that he wandered away now than leaving you after marrying you or something.

I will advise that you ignore the jabs being thrown at you by insensitive and sickening persons in this thread. Don't bother going down/stooping low or engaging in argument with such. Pay them no mind okay. Everything is going to be alright.

Until he dies appreciating-little you say 'if you love me will you die for me?'

I wonder why some people are just so judgmental and biased on this issue. I am human too and I do not intend to treat anyone this way. However, it is possible the OP just portrayed the story from her own point of view.
Like @bamosagie wrote earlier, they BROKE UP. What else does the OP want from the poor guy? Perhaps, closure or explanations after the break up. Moreso, what if it had been the other way round. Would the OP give closure or wait before marrying the next available guy? Let's cut the dude some slacks.
Don't get me wrong. I am not holding brief for the guy here nor would blame him based on her story. It is just her own side of the story, her point of view. Truth is, no sane and forward-thinking playa, of marriageable age would let go of a good woman. Rather, he hands over his boots and quits playing. Some things are not always the way they seem. Everyone here blaming the dude surely has been in one compromising situation, and hoping and praying they were not judged based on one-sided point of view.
My opinion (cos I don't have any advice for now): In life we win some and lose some. Perhaps they were not meant for each other. Q.E.D.

Am I the only one who differentiates 'a break and 'breaking up'?

hypertech:

I wonder why some people are just so judgmental and biased on this issue. I am human too and I do not intend to treat anyone this way. However, it is possible the OP just portrayed the story from her own point of view.
Like @bamosagie wrote earlier, they BROKE UP. What else does the OP want from the poor guy? Perhaps, closure or explanations after the break up. Moreso, what if it had been the other way round. Would the OP give closure or wait before marrying the next available guy? Let's cut the dude some slacks.
Don't get me wrong. I am not holding brief for the guy here nor would blame him based on her story. It is just her own side of the story, her point of view. Truth is, no sane and forward-thinking playa, of marriageable age would let go of a good woman. Rather, he hands over his boots and quits playing. Some things are not always the way they seem. Everyone here blaming the dude surely has been in one compromising situation, and hoping and praying they were not judged based on one-sided point of view.
My opinion (cos I don't have any advice for now): In life we win some and lose some. Perhaps they were not meant for each other. Q.E.D.

i agree that its just my own side of the story and there is a difference between a BREAK and BREAK UP.like u said,its a one sided point of view which it is to me too cos as far as i was concerned,we were good b4 he left but he had his own agenda.An explanation from him would be nice cos i want to hear from him why he did what he did.i want to hear how i might have been the cause of it or how its because im not a "good woman" which was why he ddnt have d guts or decency to end it wt me b4 going "hunting".Playa or no playa,isnt it decent to end things wt someone else b4 starting up something wt someone else to the extent of getting married?

M.L.Swiss:



Am I the only one who differentiates 'a break and 'breaking up'?

That is what ive been trying to explain ever since i posted this n the comments started coming in.It was a BREAK n not a BREAK UP which i ddnt initiate.

Ivynwa:







@Poster
Nne you must be going through an unpleasant time right now but try and smile through the rain. Joy comes in the morning, see it as a turning point to a greater height in your life okay. Don't go a sorrowing all over the place, it will hurt definitely but find things to channel your energy into like sports, social/volunteer, educational or religious activities and you won't have the time to feel sad about it all okay.

If he walked away, he didn't appreciate you enough to want to be with you and you mustn't be hard on yourself over somebody that does not care deeply about you. Appreciate, love and take care of yourself, when your set time comes the right person will bring you joy and happiness. It is even good that he wandered away now than leaving you after marrying you or something.

I will advise that you ignore the jabs being thrown at you by insensitive and sickening persons in this thread. Don't bother going down/stooping low or engaging in argument with such. Pay them no mind okay. Everything is going to be alright.

Thank u so much.Been doing a lot of praying as well n while its not been easy,im taking it one day at a time.

^^^ If he initiated the 'BREAK', he knew what he was doing all along. He wanted to be able to go to Naija and do the wedding without 100% guilt! He was dumping you cowardly! He had been cheating on you so it's best to just let people like that go. He's not worth it! If it helps, 'mourn him' and get over it quickly! It may even help if you delete all his contact details and not get in touch with him for the next couple of years! Your man is out there!

You broke up, he hooked up so what's the problem?

@ Poster

THE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH I WILL POST NEXT SO PAY CLOSE ATTENTION:

First - STOP crying
Get on your knees praise God for DIVINE INTERVENTION

This sounds unbelievable to us BECAUSE This also sounds unbelievable to you - one helluva bullet you just dodged

Get over your shock so you can absorb and swim in the gratitude for the blessing you just received

He isn't marriage material - doesn't matter his U.S. residency status or his good job.

He is a user - he used you - had you married him it would have been ugly, very, very ugly

he jumped from you to her - GOD'S MAN HE IS NOT - I pity the new wife

Now take out some time to start from square one in your life - start with God - get a relationship with God - A GENUINE RELATIONSHIP

God will give you EVERYTHING - from mate to job to directions to happiness - stop crying and start celebrating

When your louse of a mate calls you AND BELIEVE ME HE WILL CALL BECAUSE SNAKES ALWAYS TRY TO revisit their lairs - PLEASE, I BEG YOU DON'T CONSIDER HIM OR ANSWER HIM

God knows what happened - TRUST ME - Everything the louse touches will shrivel and die - mark my word - blossoms, blessings and flourishings don't occur with bad seed.  Reaping what is sown is the activity for us all.

Make sure you respond by turning God so you can reap a wonderful, wonderful life.

Sweet T are you reetarded?

are we beefing? what is your bloody problem

Your wig look weird babe

Another twist to the story is that the girl had a boyfriend whom she dumped for my boyfriend because my boyfriend is a better prospect being that he now lives in the US and has a very well paying job.  She didn't want him when he had nothing and was still struggling while i was the one who supported him, encouraged him when he was down, prayed with him and for him and loved him unconditionally.right now i feel betrayed and hurt and angry and lost .T

You groomed him and she took the end result. My condolences. Most you can do is thank God that you dodged a bullet. would you really wanna be married to someone that manipulative and disgusting?  
Did his parents know about all of this? If so this is a family you should be glad you no longer have to interact with.

M.L.Swiss:

Am I the only one who differentiates 'a break and 'breaking up'?

You know the difference because you're not an illiterate like majority of the board. Dont know how the guy asked for a 2 week break and people atre still saying "they broke up, why s she surprised", how many people leave one girl and gets married within 2 weeks? so stupid. OBVIOUSLY he was cheating wth this other girl for months maybe even a year sef. But when you have lttle boys who have to defend one another even when they look reetarded in the process, such responses shouldnt surprise anyone

NYGrl, abeg stop responding CyberG and the other illterates that are yarning dust. again I wish you well.

ThiefOfHearts:

You groomed him and she took the end result. My condolences. Most you can do is thank God that you dodged a bullet. would you really wanna be married to someone that manipulative and disgusting?
Did his parents know about all of this? If so this is a family you should be glad you no longer have to interact with.

Groomed who? Women don't wait that long. They want ready-made men.Hahaha.Those are the ones that will back-fire later. Check recent happenings.

ThiefOfHearts:

You know the difference because you're not an illiterate like majority of the board. Dont know how the guy asked for a 2 week break and people atre still saying "they broke up, why s she surprised", how many people leave one girl and gets married within 2 weeks? so silly. OBVIOUSLY he was cheating wth this other girl for months maybe even a year sef. But when you have lttle boys who have to defend one another even when they look reetarded in the process, such responses shouldnt surprise anyone

NYGrl, abeg stop responding CyberG and the other illterates that are yarning dust. again I wish you well.

If you are a male and come to Nigeria and wanna get married in two days, you can.The worst to happen is break up later and even some aged affairs before marriages still end up in divorce. So what is that? An American guy comes in and Nigerian women will know him in two hours and marry him in two days.

Someitmes, you don't need to explain before quitting. Whenever you conclude, you are gonna miss a thing-that is it. Some Nigars tell their wives, they wanna buy cigarrette across the street and that is it. Some foosl still come arond when the little boy makes big money from NFL or NBA.

Life is not fair at all. We should expect the unexpected!

ferdiii:

Groomed who? Women don't wait that long. They want ready-made men.Hahaha.Those are the ones that will back-fire later. Check recent happenings.

Um she was there when he had nothing, she helped wth support and with prayers and he became successful. That's grooming.

and what kind of wretched family would allow their son and daughter to come to them with some random person within 2 weeks and say they are ok wth the marriage. Stop making idiotic excuses for the dude. He was seeing this new girl on the side, why is it so hard to believe? or is t cos it's another guy you have to come up with daft excuses on his behalf. abegi make we hear word.

I didn't read all the posts so pardon me if this has been answered but how much do you trust the information you received about the alleged impending marriage? Could it be a test from the Ex to gauge your reaction?

ThiefOfHearts:

Um she was there when he had nothing, she helped wth support and with prayers and he became successful. That's grooming.

and what kind of wretched family would allow their son and daughter to come to them with some random person within 2 weeks and say they are ok wth the marriage. Stop making idiotic excuses for the dude. He was seeing this new girl on the side, why is it so hard to believe? or is t cos it's another guy you have to come up with daft excuses on his behalf. abegi make we hear word.

They want their daughter to cross over the ocean. And 70% of families here are wretched and greedy. And they believe true love and marriages are gone, so show me the money and opportunities.Why do you know just now?

Let women groom themselves and am tired of I was the one who made him. Couple of folks are not getting any help now-you call them riff-raffs. Let she come to Nigeria and groom a hubby. Or just give birth to your husband and that will be the best solution to all these wahala.

Am not making excuses for the dude, he saw, endured and ran away. Wetin concern me? Men hardly run away from a gold mine!

EuroMeko:

I didn't read all the posts so pardon me if this has been answered but how much do you trust the information you received about the alleged impending marriage? Could it be a test from the Ex to gauge your reaction?

It could be.If only we can hear from that dude, you will never know how terrible these people could be. No need to apologize, it is just that you may not be right in generalizing. How far with the Nigerian envoy in Kenya? Was he the one that hit the wife? Were those photos the wife's?

I remember years back, one of my half-sisters came back home from where she was being married, complaining and I did not give that dude a chance to live but when my father and others went back with her to talk with the monster. Believe me each question or case they treated was her fault, my father, a wise man had to go neutral so that they won't head back with her. My father told me, the man was a strong and compassionate man and he couldn't have tolerated what he endured.

It's so sad but dont think oe believe he did it for money or to help out if he did he would have contacted you from Nigeria. As much as it hurts he was cheating on you and you never knew it. Trust me in a couple of years when u are happily married you'll thank God your ex did what he did bcoz u are going to meet someone amazing I've been there and I know what am saying. Put yourself together stay strong focus on God and put all your strenght in your career and God will sort your love life out. Take care

Sorry to say this but he may know her during your relationship

ferdii, as I sad already, you are just making noise to be a contrarian so nevermind.

What kind of phaggot makes up a "test" like that? Is that a mature mind? abeg carry go.

ThiefOfHearts:

Sweet T are you reetarded?

are we beefing? what is your bloody problem

Show of love sweetheart.

ThiefOfHearts:

Um she was there when he had nothing, she helped wth support and with prayers and he became successful. That's grooming.

and what kind of wretched family would allow their son and daughter to come to them with some random person within 2 weeks and say they are ok wth the marriage. Stop making idiotic excuses for the dude. He was seeing this new girl on the side, why is it so hard to believe? or is t cos it's another guy you have to come up with daft excuses on his behalf. abegi make we hear word.

What kind of support exactly, Cos anyone can claim they supported.

I dont support the way the guy left her, maybe he should have broken up officially.

Sweetheart, how you dey?

ThiefOfHearts:

ferdii, as I sad already, you are just making noise to be a contrarian so nevermind.

What kind of phaggot makes up a "test" like that? Is that a mature mind? abeg carry go.

Why do u value this dude now he is gone? I think men are shitt to una. Recommend the poster to ur brother or u sef go marry her.

I would but he's younger

dayokanu:
.
What kind of support exactly, Cos anyone can claim they supported.

Not gonna get into this with you. Im sorry you've never had a woman aside from mummy support you in your life before

I would but he's younger

Age is nothing but numbers

ThiefOfHearts:

Not gonna get into this with you. Im sorry you've never had a woman aside from mummy support you in your life before

Why would any man ever need a womans support aside his mommy? If he isnt disabled

In my side of the world men shouldnt be supported by women rather the other way round

when I say support I do NOT mean by financial. abeg go back to Naija jo

That's cold! But at least you didn't marry him, obviously he's a heartless sonnafawitch. You just got saved. OK, enough of this Lady Oprah niceness - Let's get some Street Justice on this mofo. Give names, I know somebody who knows somebody,

What is your support?

Of course every man needed his mother for support when he is young

What would you need a woman to support you for? Is he disabled and needs you to push his wheelchair?

ThiefOfHearts:

when I say support I do NOT mean by financial. abeg go back to Naija jo

I intend to take you along for our traditional wedding.

very sad story.

Sometimes rship dont work out it doesnt make the person who left a bad person. I always insist the signs were there but you ignored them. The guy didnt know how to tell you he did bad but you guys were not meant to be. The guy may even have a great marriage we will never know. The only advise i have for you is look into his complaints about you and try to work on them if they are legit.work hard to become a better person.