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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Should I Tell My Ex-Boyfriend That I Want Him Back? (54584 Views)
|Should I Tell My Ex-Boyfriend That I Want Him Back? by margarita(f): 9:36am On Apr 05, 2006|
Hello people, just came across this site and thot you guys might be able to help me. My ex boyfriend and I broke up a few months ago. He actually said we should break up and even though i understood where he was coming from(we had drifted apart), i was very hurt. Recently, just when i thought i was getting over him, i've started thinking about him alot. I really do miss him. We don't live in the same town and yesterday i came up with a plan. I would outlinethe plan below but i need u guys to tell me whether i should carry out the plan. Or maybe some of u(esp guys) can tell me what to do. Thanks.
Plan: Go to his town, he'll know am coming but he won't know its just to see him. Tell him how i feel but stop short of asking him that we should get back together. Tell him i don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me but i felt the need to let him know how i feel. Then tell him i came from my town to tell him that and pack my load and leave. What do you guys think? Should i tell him or keep it to myself?
For the guys: What would you think if an ex told you how she felt?
Thanks for your help.
|Re: Should I Tell My Ex-Boyfriend That I Want Him Back? by takethat: 10:48am On Apr 05, 2006|
Honey, I have been in that position before I want to ask you
Firstly, your boyfriend said you should break up (to me if a guy says that, I feel he had nothing for me) I am saying this because if your man noticed that you had drifted apart then he should have tried to work things out with you not to tell you to go your way.
I also read your plan I tell you guys are DOGS, if you do that to him even if he didn’t want you , he will pretend he still wants you just because they are selfish…they want to eat their cake and have it …, he will only play along with your plan and once he is done you are out again……
What I think
I think for him to be the one that broke up the relationship, he should be the one to call you and say he wants you back . you are only wasting your time by thinking about him (except if he is also thinking about you). I am sorry to say thses but he may have moved on with his life and you are still here dying over him ….
No matter what I say (do what you feel is best for you). I am not a relationship breaker, the truth is bitter and iam just giving you advise on a past experience
1, Who broke up the relationship…if it was you then I think to cool down your mind it is worth tellingthe boy how you still feel about him
|Re: Should I Tell My Ex-Boyfriend That I Want Him Back? by micklplus(m): 11:49am On Apr 05, 2006|
Good talk cos she'd mentioned the important things as per what u are suppose to do
|Re: Should I Tell My Ex-Boyfriend That I Want Him Back? by whiteroses(f): 12:13pm On Apr 05, 2006|
i think you should go and tell him what you think even if he is not interested anymore you'll go back home safe @ least. the point is give it a try.
going to his town and telling him how you feel will mean a lot to him and the next thing you know he start remembering the good times you use to have together and how nice you were to him (if you are). good luck. (dress to impress thin dress)
|Re: Should I Tell My Ex-Boyfriend That I Want Him Back? by DAMMYGLOW(f): 1:08pm On Apr 05, 2006|
before going there are some questions you have to ask yourself
does he miss you the way do?
is he intrested in getting back the relationship the way you do?
think twice before you make a mistake.
you kow you cant tell with guys
|Re: Should I Tell My Ex-Boyfriend That I Want Him Back? by Rhodalyn(f): 1:11pm On Apr 05, 2006|
i thk your plan is perfect n might really work,Go girl
bt da question is, ds he feel da same way bout U too?
|Re: Should I Tell My Ex-Boyfriend That I Want Him Back? by Fluffy(f): 1:42pm On Apr 05, 2006|
Don't do it girl. The guy has obviously moved on and by going back and telling him you want him, you are actually putting yourself at risk of getting hurt again.
If he wanted to patch things up with you he would have contacted you first and told you he misses you and stuff.
Exes should stay exes it's useless to keep on thinking about what could have been.
Move on with your life my dear, it will be difficult but just be strong
I'm speaking out of experience, I've been there and believe me u don't wanna go there
|Re: Should I Tell My Ex-Boyfriend That I Want Him Back? by drered(m): 2:33pm On Apr 05, 2006|
well what can i say ill advice you to chill out for some weeks because i know his missing you the way
you are missin him <you never know what you have until you loose it >your plan is nice but wait so he could be the one to call the relationship back because he might not value you as much as he used to if you are the one to call it back just tell him how you feel and don't care what people will think because he must have really been nice to you for you to want him back so go girl
drezzle 4 reazzle
|Re: Should I Tell My Ex-Boyfriend That I Want Him Back? by takethat: 3:07pm On Apr 05, 2006|
asking your exes friends if your ex. still likes you is crap ,
His friends can NEVER be helpful even if your ex was on a girl his friends will still say he (youR ex)is still in love with you
so cut that crap if you want to deal with your man deal with him on a one-to-one basis
DONT INVOLVE HIS FRIENDS ( they will be smiling with you to your face but they have actual drank your blood behind you) they are great pretenders
FACE UR MAN DONT INVOLVE HIS FRIENDS
|Re: Should I Tell My Ex-Boyfriend That I Want Him Back? by Fluffy(f): 4:01pm On Apr 05, 2006|
gees girl now I know the story behind your user name.
|Re: Should I Tell My Ex-Boyfriend That I Want Him Back? by pluto04(m): 4:19pm On Apr 05, 2006|
@Takethat and @fluffy had said it all. Don't do it girl. Initiating any grand recocialiation plan cannot only be futile but you'll also be risking a more devastating heartbreak. I guess your ex knows how to contact you if he still wanted you. Move on with your life (as he has obviously move on with his) .
|Re: Should I Tell My Ex-Boyfriend That I Want Him Back? by Anabib(f): 4:37pm On Apr 05, 2006|
DONT DO IT GIRL!!!!!!
let ur EX remain Ex!
if he wants u, he would look for u.
ur seeing him may only rekindle what he loves abt u and after a while, he gets to dump u again wt the same excuse or worse.
just give it time and make sure you close his door permanently shut, 'cos thats when u can meet someone that TRUELY WANTS U FOR WHO U ARE.
i know it hurts thinking about him all the time, but i suggest you go out more often and mix with other people, and let time heal the wound.
have been there and i know how you may feel, but i promise you with time you will come to thank God.
Take this lyrics from Light house family--Ocean drive
He left you Black and blue, without a word of explanation
And he took your love for granted and he left you high and dry
But you know someday, when you'll wonder what you see in him anyway
WHEN that day arrive we'll live on,
Don't know why you're so blue
Sun's gonna shine on everything you do
and the sky is so blue
Sun's gonna shine on everything you do
DONT DO IT !!!
|Re: Should I Tell My Ex-Boyfriend That I Want Him Back? by takethat: 4:55pm On Apr 05, 2006|
@ fluffy …please yearn me my story
|Re: Should I Tell My Ex-Boyfriend That I Want Him Back? by Fluffy(f): 5:04pm On Apr 05, 2006|
What I meant to say was you are one straight shooter, nothing wrong with that.
|Re: Should I Tell My Ex-Boyfriend That I Want Him Back? by timmy(m): 5:46pm On Apr 05, 2006|
what you going to meet guy who has said no over months ago that you sill need him, girl wake up and keep your love to your self, it aint gonna work. even if he agrees, he sure just wanna get giggy thats all.
Keep the little pride you have left and let loose, u surly would find a new brother who you could even love more than this fella, who dosent know what his got
(that's just a fact i just learnt my self, dont eve force your date to retain a relation he/she as asked to be called off, yuld mostlikely regret it)
****timmy is back****
|Re: Should I Tell My Ex-Boyfriend That I Want Him Back? by Idekeson(m): 6:00pm On Apr 05, 2006|
I can understand that you're really hurting, but your plan may put you in deeper misery. I don't support getting back to him, since he suggested the break-up. 99% of the time, that is a sign of desperation and men will eat you up and discard you if they smell desperation. But if you must establish contact, try calling him over the phone, if possible, and tell him you called to find out how he is doing. Please don't pour out your emotions when you talk to him. Make him want you. If he does he'll come looking for you. If not, just count your loses and move on with your life. Remember what you're missing is not really him, but the way he makes you feel. You can discover that feeling in another guy if you give yourself a chance.
|Re: Should I Tell My Ex-Boyfriend That I Want Him Back? by Blackbuddy: 6:02pm On Apr 05, 2006|
Move on girl. Don't go over there. There are reasons why you both broke up and you know them. But there are no reasons why you should get together again other than your feelings and this time, they're not enough. Get over your feelings, if he wants you, let him express his feelings to you. Don't forget why and how you both broke up.
|Re: Should I Tell My Ex-Boyfriend That I Want Him Back? by hotangel2(f): 6:19pm On Apr 05, 2006|
Don't let pride stop you from getting back the one you love. You love him dearly, giving it a try won't hurt you. Just go back n tell him how you feel. Infact, even if he doesnt' feel the same way right away, he'll prolly start developing new love and be interested in giving ur relationship another try n he'll wanna make it work this time just because you have genuine feelings for him.
Most people on here would tell you not to do it (i would tell u that too, if i didn't know wat it really means to be hurting inside abt loving someone who has no idea that you do), Anyways, they'll all tell u not to do it, because well guys are stereotyped to make yanga of girls that want them desperately. it's like if you tell him u want him, he'll prolly keep u to the curb n make u hurt more, or he'll accept u n treat you like trash just for telling him u want him back.
the truth of the matter is, Go back tell him u still love him, go thru with your plan, Youu'll be able to tell if he wants you back. if after telling he still doesn't want you, you have nothing to lose, rather he has lost a girl who truely loves him. Infact you haven't lost your pride, cos love made you do wat you did. , not what people would say.
This topic can go on for 13 to 16 pages, you'll hear different opinions, but the best thing i'd say you should do is go with wat your heart tells you. Ur heart would continue to ache if you don't do wat it tells u. Right now, u can't think straight except you tell that dude how u really feel, and tell him u want him back. if you don't do that, you'll continue to blame urself for not trying. trust me hun, it's not an easy thing to do, but you should do it.
My two cents.
|Re: Should I Tell My Ex-Boyfriend That I Want Him Back? by Thagodfada(m): 6:53pm On Apr 05, 2006|
let me verify first that you are not my ex before i reply to this. Which town does your ex live??
make man no enter trouble o! cos when i told my ex i didn't want her anymore i meant it. Everything was just terrible. i.e. the sex, attitude, yanga etc
So a piece of advice, let him go. You will meet a better person that is just right for you.
|Re: Should I Tell My Ex-Boyfriend That I Want Him Back? by bagoma(f): 7:12pm On Apr 05, 2006|
well, i'd say you start by calling him rather than going all the way to see him.
that way you're able to test the waters that is able to guage his feelings by his response to you on the phone.
give it time, see if he gets to call you back and show concern about your wellbeing and stuff.
then you take it up from there.
if you think he wants you and misses you then give your plan a shot but if not then to hell with him and move on.
|Re: Should I Tell My Ex-Boyfriend That I Want Him Back? by Idekeson(m): 8:23pm On Apr 05, 2006|
You probably wont take your own advice if you were in her position. Not after been inside Air Force One.
|Re: Should I Tell My Ex-Boyfriend That I Want Him Back? by IAH(f): 8:25pm On Apr 05, 2006|
Don't ever go back to your vomit!!! Show him you can do better!
|Re: Should I Tell My Ex-Boyfriend That I Want Him Back? by hotangel2(f): 8:35pm On Apr 05, 2006|
Idekeson:Lol, well i would. Cos sometimes you just regret never trying again. It won't hurt to try again. But then again, like IAH said, don't go back to ur vomit. It's easier said than done guys. If she really loves that guy, she won't even have the urge to date another guy. Other guys would look like crap to her. N she'll keep think abt telling that guy she stillloves him.
She should do it, so it can leave her mind. I think?
|Re: Should I Tell My Ex-Boyfriend That I Want Him Back? by Kave(m): 8:54pm On Apr 05, 2006|
Hey dear,i tink i've got d perfect reply to this.
Why did he call off d relationship?
If he did it because he thought u wer not showing him enough love as he shows u,or may be he taught u dont sincerly love him from ur heart,
then u can carry out ur plan.
Like me,sometimes i just sit down and wonder if my girl really loves me as much as i love her.I feel like calling it off.In such case,if i call it off,then she comes begin,since i "loved" her so much,den Y not?
But hope say e neva too tey sha?
|Re: Should I Tell My Ex-Boyfriend That I Want Him Back? by hotangel2(f): 8:57pm On Apr 05, 2006|
This aint part of the topic, but dude better not make a mistake. She might as well be thinking same. So uhmm, take it easy oo
|Re: Should I Tell My Ex-Boyfriend That I Want Him Back? by margarita(f): 9:13pm On Apr 05, 2006|
Thanks to all of you that have posted messages.
@hotangel, i think i need to do it just to satisfy myself. Knowing that at least i tried. Still thinking about it though.
@kave, its as if u know, i think that was one of the main reasons why he said he called it off- cause i did not show enuff love.
Having read all the replies, am not quite sure i want to carry out my plan because i don't want rejection oh. But please keep the suggestions coming. Its not yet time to carry out my plan. Thanks again to all of u, u guys are real nice.
|Re: Should I Tell My Ex-Boyfriend That I Want Him Back? by chinani(f): 10:41pm On Apr 05, 2006|
I don't think you should do it. If/When you love someone, truly love someone, then you will have feelings for them for a long, long time. I think your "old brain" is just saying goodbye.
It's like being addicted to a person. It's hard to go cold turkey, and when you think that you've kicked it then WHAM! it (the craving for the addiction) hits you like a ton of bricks. Yea, girl your feelings are valid but I don't think you should make the trip.
|Re: Should I Tell My Ex-Boyfriend That I Want Him Back? by Oracle(m): 1:56am On Apr 06, 2006|
Hey girl, i'll advice to wait for sometime b4 u make any move since u just broke up.
since u truly love him itz nice to let him know ur true feelings for him, let him know that u still want him. But i won't advice you to go to his town, itz better you call him as your boyfriend you're supposed to have his number so call him on the phone and explain your feelings not just your feelings this time but your true feelings for him.
Let him know that you still love him as he once loved you, make him see and believe in the power of love.
u know somtimes u can move mountains just by the words you say
try to speak in a low, weak, helpless yet romantic tone
and if after all this he doens't want you back then u live your life, he's not yours coz what is yours will always be there for you
|Re: Should I Tell My Ex-Boyfriend That I Want Him Back? by kasaliyaro(m): 2:08am On Apr 06, 2006|
Magarita, though you did not explain the reasons he gave for calling off the relationship in the first place. . . these will help us a lot in helping you.
As Angel has said, throw pride away. . . this is love we are talking about. There is nothing bad in you experssing how you feel. You are doing yourself more harm caging your feelings. I'll suggest you follow your mind. If you are afraid of rejection, I'll suggest you start-up with phone calls finding out about his well-being. . . (Bagoma's plan). You can then make your next move based on his reactions in the Phone phase. . . staying completely away won't help you.
I was once in your shoes. . . we were seperated for one year just because of pride and listening to people's opinion. Of the Nine years we spent together, the best seven were the years spent after we came back.
People will tell you what they will do (what makes them happy). . . but they are not you! Only you know how you feel and what makes you happy. If your mind tells you go for him, go! . . .just proceed with caution.
|Re: Should I Tell My Ex-Boyfriend That I Want Him Back? by curiousNja(f): 2:25am On Apr 06, 2006|
Something also makes me suspect that before he asked you to break up, he had another bus waiting. So he is riding that new "bus" now.
|Re: Should I Tell My Ex-Boyfriend That I Want Him Back? by curiousNja(f): 2:30am On Apr 06, 2006|
Remember what you're missing is not really him, but the way he makes you feel. You can discover that feeling in another guy if you give yourself a chance.
Wow! Wise words,
|Re: Should I Tell My Ex-Boyfriend That I Want Him Back? by curiousNja(f): 3:02am On Apr 06, 2006|
Thagodfada, what town are you in?
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