The interview starts by 9:00 am so I get dressed and leave the house by 8:15 am. The venue is close to my house so I don’t need to board a Danfo and get my shirt stained or rumpled. I’m going to walk down to the venue and I should get there about 15 minutes before the horror show begins.

As I walk I think about my life and all the events that have led me to this point. If my mom had allowed me to keep playing football, maybe I would be playing for PSG right now, partnering Messi and Mbappe upfront and earning plenty money. Why didn’t I join the choir in church? Although I wasn’t particularly good at singing but perhaps if Don Jazzy had heard my croaking voice he would have loved it and signed me.

Instead, I have to attend this job interview and impress the interviewers so they can give me the job otherwise hunger will finish me.

I look down at my shoes and observe that the soles have begun to crack and break. All these fake shoes sef! If you buy a pair of shoes and they last for 20 years, will the world end?

I reach the venue and see that some fellow job seekers did not sleep in their houses last night. What is it gan sef? Must you people apply for every job? Don’t you have tastes and preferences? Can’t you people just let me be the only one who came for this interview so that the interviewers will have no choice but to hire me?

I smile and greet my competitors and then look for a place to sit. After about 10 minutes, two more applicants come into the hall. Hmmm, we don dey plenty too much o. A few moments later, another applicant waltz in. Then two, then three, then two again. Haa! Which kain wahala be this na? How do I stand out among so many people? Abi make I pull my trousers remain my boxers then begin run round this hall? At least that will make me stand out in this crowd.

I decide to look around the hall and size up my fellow hustlers. Perhaps my death stare will cause some of them to burst into tears and leave the hall. I spot a handsome, smartly dressed dude sitting at the extreme of the hall. “Wow”, I say in my head, “I like your dress sense o. If you don’t want us to have problems kindly fail this interview, you hear? Same goes to you, pretty lady sitting across from me.” But they pay me no mind and carry on fiddling with their phones. Kai, children of nowadays! No respect.

Soon after the interviewers come into the hall and introduce themselves. “This interview will be in two parts. The first part is a test and the second part is an oral interview. Good luck.” They rearrange us applicants around the hall and proceed to share question papers and answer sheets. “You have 45 minutes for this test and your time starts now. No talking, no teamwork. Anyone caught violating these rules will be asked to leave.”

Few minutes into the test somebody behind me taps me lightly. I turn around to see what the problem is and this guy says, “chairman, shebi number 3c is ‘supply chain management’?”

“Baba,” I mutter under my breath while turning back around to face my work, “shey you dey whine me ni?”

Thank you for reading my article. I want to use this opportunity to announce that I’m in desperate need of a job. I’m currently an undergraduate of the National Open University of Nigeria. I’m smart, articulate and good at writing. I’m keen on an office assistant position but I’m also open to all kinds of non-physical jobs that don’t require a degree and that pay slightly above minimum wage. My current job is hard, physical labour and it is taking its toll on my health, hence my desire to switch jobs. I live in Ikeja, Lagos, and can be contacted via 09030649379. Thank you.

latebloomerr:
The interview starts by 9:00 am so I get dressed and leave the house by 8:15 am. The venue is close to my house so I don’t need to board a Danfo and get my shirt stained or rumpled. I’m going to walk down to the venue and I should get there about 15 minutes before the horror show begins.

As I walk I think about my life and all the events that have led me to this point. If my mom had allowed me to keep playing football, maybe I would be playing for PSG right now, partnering Messi and Mbappe upfront and earning plenty money. Why didn’t I join the choir in church? Although I wasn’t particularly good at singing but perhaps if Don Jazzy had heard my croaking voice he would have loved it and signed me.

Instead, I have to attend this job interview and impress the interviewers so they can give me the job otherwise hunger will finish me.

I look down at my shoes and observe that the soles have begun to crack and break. All these fake shoes sef! If you buy a pair of shoes and they last for 20 years, will the world end?

I reach the venue and see that some fellow job seekers did not sleep in their houses last night. What is it gan sef? Must you people apply for every job? Don’t you have tastes and preferences? Can’t you people just let me be the only one who came for this interview so that the interviewers will have no choice but to hire me?

I smile and greet my competitors and then look for a place to sit. After about 10 minutes, two more applicants come into the hall. Hmmm, we don dey plenty too much o. A few moments later, another applicant waltz in. Then two, then three, then two again. Haa! Which kain wahala be this na? How do I stand out among so many people? Abi make I pull my trousers remain my boxers then begin run round this hall? At least that will make me stand out in this crowd.

I decide to look around the hall and size up my fellow hustlers. Perhaps my death stare will cause some of them to burst into tears and leave the hall. I spot a handsome, smartly dressed dude sitting at the extreme of the hall. “Wow”, I say in my head, “I like your dress sense o. If you don’t want us to have problems kindly fail this interview, you hear? Same goes to you, pretty lady sitting across from me.” But they pay me no mind and carry on fiddling with their phones. Kai, children of nowadays! No respect.

Soon after the interviewers come into the hall and introduce themselves. “This interview will be in two parts. The first part is a test and the second part is an oral interview. Good luck.” They rearrange us applicants around the hall and proceed to share question papers and answer sheets. “You have 45 minutes for this test and your time starts now. No talking, no teamwork. Anyone caught violating these rules will be asked to leave.”

Few minutes into the test somebody behind me taps me lightly. I turn around to see what the problem is and this guy says, “chairman, shebi number 3c is ‘supply chain management’?”

“Baba,” I mutter under my breath while turning back around to face my work, “shey you dey whine me ni?”

Thank you for reading my article. I want to use this opportunity to announce that I’m in desperate need of a job. I’m currently an undergraduate of the National Open University of Nigeria. I’m smart, articulate and good at writing. I’m keen on an office assistant position but I’m also open to all kinds of non-physical jobs that don’t require a degree and that pay slightly above minimum wage. My current job is hard, physical labour and it is taking its toll on my health, hence my desire to switch jobs. I live in Ikeja, Lagos, and can be contacted via 09030649379. Thank you.

Beautiful piece... You're a good writer with a wide/vivid imagination...

Sucremaque:


Beautiful piece... You're a good writer with a wide/vivid imagination...

must you quote everything?

Ahmback:
must you quote everything?

Rubbish!!!
Must you carry your foolishness every Where? If you can't commend the op why not keep quite. Somebody is trying to do so and you are just displaying your low IQ. People like you disgust me !!

gaius01:

Rubbish!!!
Must you carry your foolishness every Where? If you can't commend the op why not keep quite. Somebody is trying to do so and you are just displaying your low IQ. People like you disgust me !!

You missed the joke, bastard!
i bet with your balls if you were to meet me one-on-one you won't say shit, make i for no go comot your teeth. Mtcheew

Ahmback:
You missed the joke, bastard!
i bet with your balls if you were to meet me one-on-one you won't say shit, make i for no go comot your teeth. Mtcheew

Lol
You don't need to brag that you are an elephant.... What if you see the lion himself what would you do? Only kids brags. I won't be replying you again, I don't rub shoulders with people of low caliber.

gaius01:

Lol
You don't need to brag that you are an elephant.... What if you see the lion himself what would you do? Only kids brags. I won't be replying you again, I don't rub shoulders with people of low caliber.

please get out

Fight go soon start, for another person thread,.
For the op i really recommend you for your good write-up

Abeg make una leave fight help me.

gaius01:

Rubbish!!!
Must you carry your foolishness every Where? If you can't commend the op why not keep quite. Somebody is trying to do so and you are just displaying your low IQ. People like you disgust me !!

Pls, calm down comrade

Bro u try na real I u talk fan @ op.. God will help u

Cerebellum:


Pls, calm down comrade

Am down Senior....