Kobojunkie:
So you hold that up as a standard for yourself as far as marriage is concerned?

Nope! All men cheat. But that's not the worse thing to happen to mankind. What about forgiveness?

Kobojunkie:
So you think it is OK to remain in a failed relationship- a one where your vows are disrespected and you as an individual no longer matter - because you fear that the next relationship you find yourself in may end up the same way?

Wow.... silly question... if you altogether decide not to do relationships at all, and keep your dignity as an individual, will you be sentenced to death for it?

If you are so consumed with fear that your lot is to only end up in emotionally damaging relationships, why not decide against relationships altogether?

---

P.S. I have never come across an individual in a relationship where he/she is being cheated on that is not damaged (emotionally, mentally and sometimes physically) by it.

You are too emotional for your own good. Grow up mahn.
This is the kind of paranoia that drives people to commit murder in a marriage.

Provided he is not a street dog, chasing everything on skirts, don't crucify him for that.

ChoCho54:
You are too emotional for your own good. Grow up mahn.
This is the kind of paranoia that drives people to commit murder in a marriage.

Provided he is not a street dog, chasing everything on skirts, don't crucify him for that.

Emotinal about what exactly?

The women is here explaining she feels her marriage agreement has been violated by her husband's cheating. Why do you advise her to ignore what obviously bothers her all so she can continue to cling to the title of married woman??

I am not even calling the man a street wh0re here, but how do you know he is not a street dog? Because all his wife is aware of are his whatsapp cheating history?

ChoCho54:
Nope! All men cheat. But that's not the worse thing to happen to mankind. What about forgiveness?

Correction, not all men cheat.

Second, what has forgiveness to do with choosing to remain in a toxic situation abeg?

Kobojunkie:
Emotinal about what exactly?

The women is here explaining she feels her marriage agreement has been violated by her husband's cheating. Why do you advise her to ignore what obviously bothers her all so she can continue to cling to the title of married woman??

I am not even calling the man a street wh0re here, but how do you know he is not a street dog? Because all his wife is aware of are his whatsapp cheating history?

Are you not reacting based on the information the woman put out here? I guess not. You act like you know other things about them.

If she was your sister, would your first response after reading this be divorce?

You are too emotional! It blinds every sense of reasoning..

People with hyper emotions can't keep a job. Any little hiccup, they quit.

Where did I say she should remain with him just to answer Mrs?

Kobojunkie:
Correction, not all men cheat.

Second, what has forgiveness to do with choosing to remain in a toxic situation abeg?

You obviously have a different meaning of toxicity.

ChoCho54:
Are you not reacting based on the information the woman put out here? I guess not. You act like you know other things about them. If she was your sister, would your first response after reading this be divorce?

You are too emotional! It blinds every sense of reasoning.. People with hyper emotions can't keep a job. Any little hiccup, they quit. Where did I say she should remain with him just to answer Mrs?

If she were my sister, only she knows what she can and cannot tolerate, and hence endure, and she should rightly make her decision as far as her marriage for her own self.

Again, you continue to accuse me of being emotional yet still unable to provide valid reason for why you choose to believe this of my person. I have never quit a job so I don't know why you rant now about those who you consider hyper emotional beings.

Well, you suggested that her next, and the one after and so on.... are likely to turn out cheats, suggesting that for reason why she should remain in this marriage of hers, did you not?,

ChoCho54:
You obviously have a different meaning of toxicity.

According to very well.com, A toxic relationship is one that makes you feel unsupported, misunderstood, demeaned, or attacked. On a basic level, any relationship that makes you feel worse rather than better can become toxic over time.


https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.verywellmind.com/toxic-relationships-4174665&ved=2ahUKEwiKh5zNwvH2AhXCkIkEHS1oARcQFnoECCIQAQ&usg=AOvVaw3VsxXj1IfB2J4qskH3DKQR

Kobojunkie:
If she were my sister, only she knows what she can and cannot tolerate, and hence endure, and she should rightly make her decision as far as her marriage for her own self.

Again, you continue to accuse me of being emotional yet still unable to provide valid reason for why you choose to believe this of my person. I have never quit a job so I don't know why you rant now about those who you consider hyper emotional beings.

Well, you suggested that her next, and the one after and so on.... are likely to turn out cheats, suggesting that for reason why she should remain in this marriage of hers, did you not?,

That lady is not leaving her marriage over the frivolities she brought to social media anyway.
Good night!

ChoCho54:
That lady is not leaving her marriage over the frivolities she brought to social media anyway.
Good night!

Huh, what?

1st thing first, he's cheating. 2nd thing is wat are you gonna do about it

Advice to you. He is not going to change, so don’t waste your energy trying to change him or keep him in one place. He is cheating on you and he is going to keep on cheating on you until he wants to stop himself. Most never change until old age. No amount of family meeting or reports will change that. It’s either you accept it, or you leave.

If you are the type that cannot handle cheating because it affects you spiritually, mentally and physically.. then this is what I will say to you. I will personally advise you to stay put until you have a solid plan, really built your finances, maybe you have a suitor somewhere taking you serious then you can leave. If you leave now without a solid plan you will be worse off. Don’t make harsh decisions based off emotions, everything needs to be timed and planned well, this might even take years. You will also observe his behaviour to see if he is changing or not. No nagging! Just leave him to do what he wants. Start planning now. Collect any support he gives to you and take advantage of it, it’s better than nothing. Do NOT have any more children for this man for now. Keep up with your marital duties so that when the time comes he won’t use any justification for his ways on your head. Detach yourself emotionally from this man gradually if they’re no changes. Be smart you will be happy in the end.

ChoCho54:
You are too emotional for your own good. Grow up mahn.
This is the kind of paranoia that drives people to commit murder in a marriage.

Provided he is not a street dog, chasing everything on skirts, don't crucify him for that.

I understand your concept but marriage is not a do or die. Sanity in marriage is important..adultery can be tolerated by some, and others can’t. People stab their husbands in their sleep for this same reason. People find themselves in mental institutions because of this. Everyone has their emotional threshold, we are not robots operating on batteries. To turn a blind eye to everything means you are a bomb waiting to explode in most cases. Even 70 year old man deals with emotional trauma it has nothing to do with age. Let her just plan her situation well and not make hasty decisions that could affect the life of her child as well.

.

Cheerycherry:
Good evening family landers, I created this account because of this and I need advice from people that have been married for a while. I've been married for almost 3 years now and we were in a relationship for more than 6 years before then. Since I married my husband, I've noticed that he's an emotional cheat so to speak. One time I stumbled upon a chat with a girl saying things like if I catch you I will wound you with d ick. When I bring it up he will tell me he was joking and even swear with his life that he will never cheat on me he's just joking. Earlier this year I stumbled upon his chat with a girl who I happened to know as well, a very young girl sending his shirtless pics and asking her if she knows how to ride d ick well if she can kiss and suck his whatever well. Asides this he sent her money up to 13,000 in the space of a week while he kept telling me he had no money and I was managing my personal money to run stuff. He apologised and said its because I don't kiss him when we have s ex and he didn't even intend meeting the girl that it was him catching cruise. This week again I stumbled upon his chat with another girl, he has known this girl for a while tho and I've met her too. He sent her a message saying Je ki n do e kara e bale in yoruba which means let me f uck you let your body calm down. I've been mad since I saw this one cos he apologised and afterwards said he was just joking. I'm tired of the disrespect the whole nonsense brings to me and I'm considering leaving. I have a well paying job, I take care of my personal expenses and send money to my parents and siblings myself and we have a child together.
It's not s ex cos we have sex not less than 2-3 times a week; very satisfying s ex. I need inputs from married people please.
We have an ongoing building project together which we are both sponsoring 50:50. I'm not an uptight person at all, I talk, I make jokes, I'm not boring!

Was he like this before you married him?

Do you both attend same church? Inform him of ur readiness to talk to your(his) pastor.

If he is not serious with church, encourage him to join the workforce.

Please rule out the option of leaving. I acknowledge u have made a mistake by marrying a cheat after 6years of pre- marriage relationship but it will become your cross to build. Weldone

Cheerycherry He is cheating E. O. D, he might not change.

That building project in whose name is it?

Your husband is taking you for a ride, he thinks you are not smart and would believe everything he tells you. Good women always end up with cheats , stop been too peaceful, men don’t appreciate good women instead they will start taking your goodness for stupidity.

Cheerycherry:


This is not the first time! I'm very open! I'm not an SU, I'm not a wrapper tying wife, I've talked to him, done all sorts even when I'm dead tired I give in to sex in different forms! Is there anything else?

There is nothing you can do to change him.

You made a mistake in the choice of life partner. You probably didn't focus on the right things during courtship.
Things like contentment and a genuine fear of God. Instead, you were busy tripping for his bad boy swag.

You are not the first and won't be the last.
Join the Queue.

Cheerycherry:
. Earlier this year I stumbled upon his chat with a girl who I happened to know as well, a very young girl sending his shirtless pics and asking her if she knows how to ride d ick well if she can kiss and suck his whatever well. .

He apologised and said its because I don't kiss him when we have s ex

Seems your husband has issues with you not kissing him, sometimes sex is not the ultimate for some people, the quoted text shows your husband really place high emphasis on kissing because he was asking the other lady too....so Mrs!!! Sometimes the little details we discard might be the solution to our issues, why don't you love kissing your husband?

Cheerycherry:


This is not the first time! I'm very open! I'm not an SU, I'm not a wrapper tying wife, I've talked to him, done all sorts even when I'm dead tired I give in to sex in different forms! Is there anything else?

Please don't leave your husband. Keep praying for him. And Please don't listen to bad advise.

Cheerycherry:
Good evening family landers, I created this account because of this and I need advice from people that have been married for a while. I've been married for almost 3 years now and we were in a relationship for more than 6 years before then. Since I married my husband, I've noticed that he's an emotional cheat so to speak. One time I stumbled upon a chat with a girl saying things like if I catch you I will wound you with d ick. When I bring it up he will tell me he was joking and even swear with his life that he will never cheat on me he's just joking. Earlier this year I stumbled upon his chat with a girl who I happened to know as well, a very young girl sending his shirtless pics and asking her if she knows how to ride d ick well if she can kiss and suck his whatever well. Asides this he sent her money up to 13,000 in the space of a week while he kept telling me he had no money and I was managing my personal money to run stuff. He apologised and said its because I don't kiss him when we have s ex and he didn't even intend meeting the girl that it was him catching cruise. This week again I stumbled upon his chat with another girl, he has known this girl for a while tho and I've met her too. He sent her a message saying Je ki n do e kara e bale in yoruba which means let me f uck you let your body calm down. I've been mad since I saw this one cos he apologised and afterwards said he was just joking. I'm tired of the disrespect the whole nonsense brings to me and I'm considering leaving. I have a well paying job, I take care of my personal expenses and send money to my parents and siblings myself and we have a child together.
It's not s ex cos we have sex not less than 2-3 times a week; very satisfying s ex. I need inputs from married people please.
We have an ongoing building project together which we are both sponsoring 50:50. I'm not an uptight person at all, I talk, I make jokes, I'm not boring!

You only saw chats and you are lamenting. The rule is that you should catch him red handed. And leave hid godamn phone alone. Why are you reading his messages, did you buy phone and sim card for him ni?
Naso una go dey find wetin no lost.

What are you planning to do now, you noticed that your husband cheat on you @poster?

You need to sit him down and talk this things over, you need to communicate a lot and express your feelings well enough. Besides, you need to distance yourself from his phones, he may be catching cruise like he said which I doubt, you can still give him benefits of doubt. I insist you talk things over before any decisions and persistently too, men hate been troubled over and over again and might have to do a rethink. We you communicate a lot with a man, he finds it difficult to stray off easily Good luck.

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brightalo1010:


I don't like when men cheats and still can't provide for the family rather spending the little they have outside over the same pusiii they kept at home and ready to fk it any time they want.

Again I don't like people that apologizes for committing same crime always.worse is cheating on your wife or husband with people he/she knows. Your husband need to stop this stupidity.

Your husband is not a cheat, stop lying

Follow him around.

They have come again.

As a man who has been married for 3 years too. I think your husband is having difficulty coming to terms with being married. I had the same problem in the early days of my marriage too. My wife will fight and get mad over it again and again. We men call it flirting and we don't see it as cheating but the truth is it is actually cheating. My advice is you seek counselling and make him go with you. Also I think starting a big fight and threatening to leave him works if he truly loves you cos it worked with my case then. I slowly stopped when I realized that I may lose this woman if I don't stop this nonsense. I even left Facebook and WhatsApp for sometime just to stop the urge to chat with tempting girls.
Hope it works out between you two. Take care.