Good evening family landers, I created this account because of this and I need advice from people that have been married for a while.

I've been married for almost 3 years now and we were in a relationship for more than 6 years before then.

Since I married my husband, I've noticed that he's an emotional cheat so to speak. One time I stumbled upon a chat with a girl saying things like if I catch you I will wound you with d ick.

When I bring it up he will tell me he was joking and even swear with his life that he will never cheat on me he's just joking.

Earlier this year, I stumbled upon his chat with a girl who I happened to know as well, a very young girl sending his shirtless pics and asking her if she knows how to ride d ick well if she can kiss and suck his whatever well.

Asides this, he sent her money up to 13,000 in the space of a week while he kept telling me he had no money and I was managing my personal money to run stuff.

He apologised and said its because I don't kiss him when we have s ex and he didn't even intend meeting the girl that it was him catching cruise.

This week again I stumbled upon his chat with another girl, he has known this girl for a while tho and I've met her too. He sent her a message saying Je ki n do e kara e bale in yoruba which means let me f uck you let your body calm down. I've been mad since I saw this one cos he apologised and afterwards said he was just joking.

I'm tired of the disrespect the whole nonsense brings to me and I'm considering leaving. I have a well paying job, I take care of my personal expenses and send money to my parents and siblings myself and we have a child together.

It's not s ex cos we have sex not less than 2-3 times a week; very satisfying s ex.

I need inputs from married people please.
We have an ongoing building project together which we are both sponsoring 50:50. I'm not an uptight person at all, I talk, I make jokes, I'm not boring!

your husband is one string away from cheating....he just needs the right opportunity (which he is looking for by sending babes money etc).
here is something you should ask your husband:
- if i tell a male friend that:"if i catch you i will ride the Bejesus out of your dikc", will that be okay to you?
- if i now tell you that this was a joke, would that be okay to you?
- if there is "supposedly" something wrong with us, can i go and ask a stranger to do these things to me INSTEAD OF TALKING TO YOU DIRECTLY?!

sadly, it is obvious your husband has no respect for you and/or the marriage you guys have....and eventually some babe will fall for his antics (if it hasnt happened already). protect yourself and your affairs, then leave this man who obviously is NOT gonna change!

You better stop checking your husband's phone unless you want to lose weight.

your husband is either cheating on you or very close to cheating on you...he acts like someone not ready for a marriage journey..I would advise you stop looking at his chat for your sanity sake....but I will assure you..you will catch him sexually cheating soon....I know you will get advise from people telling you to report to his family or pastor...but trust me..NO ONE CAN STOP ANYONE THAT WANTS TO CHEAT...just be on the watch,save more money incase o...cus he is really disrespecting you in front of other women...no one disrespects his wife if he doesn't have another woman he respects...just be calm...stop looking at his chat for now for your sanity sake... your baby needs you...wish you the best

Hmm.you can stop him from cheating,just take care of your baby pls.

Juliet751:
Hmm.you can stop him from cheating,just take care of your baby pls.

Can’t *

Your so called husband is nothing but a male harlot and prostitute. He only needs one little opportunity and viola, he makes it happen. For your sanity sake, if you know you can't tolerate a cheating husband, pls separate from him. Let him know you are done with his promiscuity. Otherwise, when he is infested with STD he will soon transmit it to you.

YeyeGbami:

Can’t *

Thanks!

Hes trying to play on your intelligence by distracting your focus on him until he starts the actual cheating under your nose without your knowledge.

Secondly. Don't be fooled by the "I'm joking" cliche he puts up whenever you accost him on the matter. That's a total disrespect to you and you deserve better as his wife.

He should be responsible and stop messing around on social media with little girls by talking dirty with them. Worst, is him giving her money.. like who jokes with their money these days. Hes definitely not joking. Don't be fooled.

Give him one last stern warning that if such happens again, you won't hesitate to call him out in a family meeting and dissolve whatever you both have. If he tries it again, proceed with the threat.

There's no point trying to patch a rotten husband who doesnt regard you nor is even willing to change.

Cheerycherry:
Good evening family landers, I created this account because of this and I need advice from people that have been married for a while. I've been married for almost 3 years now and we were in a relationship for more than 6 years before then. Since I married my husband, I've noticed that he's an emotional cheat so to speak. One time I stumbled upon a chat with a girl saying things like if I catch you I will wound you with d ick. When I bring it up he will tell me he was joking and even swear with his life that he will never cheat on me he's just joking. Earlier this year I stumbled upon his chat with a girl who I happened to know as well, a very young girl sending his shirtless pics and asking her if she knows how to ride d ick well if she can kiss and suck his whatever well. Asides this he sent her money up to 13,000 in the space of a week while he kept telling me he had no money and I was managing my personal money to run stuff. He apologised and said its because I don't kiss him when we have s ex and he didn't even intend meeting the girl that it was him catching cruise. This week again I stumbled upon his chat with another girl, he has known this girl for a while tho and I've met her too. He sent her a message saying Je ki n do e kara e bale in yoruba which means let me f uck you let your body calm down. I've been mad since I saw this one cos he apologised and afterwards said he was just joking. I'm tired of the disrespect the whole nonsense brings to me and I'm considering leaving. I have a well paying job, I take care of my personal expenses and send money to my parents and siblings myself and we have a child together.
It's not s ex cos we have sex not less than 2-3 times a week; very satisfying s ex. I need inputs from married people please.
We have an ongoing building project together which we are both sponsoring 50:50. I'm not an uptight person at all, I talk, I make jokes, I'm not boring!

I guess this is your own side of the story, rereading through your post it's like you are not doing something right or you are not listening to him either perhaps you guys are not being honest with each other. He wants something, talk to him from your Heart, let him express his desire. If you listen to him and he expresses his desires and fantasies negotiate with him, he is your husband you know him than anyone else. You should have his mumu button. He is not a cheat, he is just a wannabe

Very wrong of him but could it be your husband likes dirty talk and you come up as being too godly for such dirty talk

talk2hb1:

I guess this is your own side of the story, rereading through your post it's like you are not doing something right or you are not listening to him either perhaps you guys are not being honest with each other. He wants something, talk to him from your Heart, let him express his desire. If you listen to him and he expresses his desires and fantasies negotiate with him, he is your husband you know him than anyone else. You should have his mumu button. He is not a cheat, he is just a wannabe

This is not the first time! I'm very open! I'm not an SU, I'm not a wrapper tying wife, I've talked to him, done all sorts even when I'm dead tired I give in to sex in different forms! Is there anything else?

Cheerycherry:
Good evening family landers, I created this account because of this and I need advice from people that have been married for a while. I've been married for almost 3 years now and we were in a relationship for more than 6 years before then. Since I married my husband, I've noticed that he's an emotional cheat so to speak. One time I stumbled upon a chat with a girl saying things like if I catch you I will wound you with d ick. When I bring it up he will tell me he was joking and even swear with his life that he will never cheat on me he's just joking. Earlier this year I stumbled upon his chat with a girl who I happened to know as well, a very young girl sending his shirtless pics and asking her if she knows how to ride d ick well if she can kiss and suck his whatever well. Asides this he sent her money up to 13,000 in the space of a week while he kept telling me he had no money and I was managing my personal money to run stuff. He apologised and said its because I don't kiss him when we have s ex and he didn't even intend meeting the girl that it was him catching cruise. This week again I stumbled upon his chat with another girl, he has known this girl for a while tho and I've met her too. He sent her a message saying Je ki n do e kara e bale in yoruba which means let me f uck you let your body calm down. I've been mad since I saw this one cos he apologised and afterwards said he was just joking. I'm tired of the disrespect the whole nonsense brings to me and I'm considering leaving. I have a well paying job, I take care of my personal expenses and send money to my parents and siblings myself and we have a child together.
It's not s ex cos we have sex not less than 2-3 times a week; very satisfying s ex. I need inputs from married people please.
We have an ongoing building project together which we are both sponsoring 50:50. I'm not an uptight person at all, I talk, I make jokes, I'm not boring!

The only problem here us you searching his phone, you will definitely see one bad thing that will provoke you, stop going through his phone chats, so that you will have peace

As for your husband, he is a womaniser and nothing you can do to stop him until he have gotten enough of it

You don't need to divorce him

Spend the money you have with you wisely so that you don't run out of cash

Make sure you pass the bills to him so that he won't have excess to be spending outside

Try and follow up the building project so that you guys can pack to that place and he will be far from those chicks

Once you stop reading his chats, you will be alright

Klass99:


Lmao . You can say this again.

I been wan craze on top of 1k, I thought was missing from a 5k POS transaction I did with my hair stylist.

She gave me 5k quite alright, after we were done making my hair. On getting home the money was not adding up, I began fuming in my mind, thinking she did an abracadabra on me.......

Until I paused and did the maths on what I spent between her place and mine. The money was still not adding up, I turned my whole bag upside down to find that 1k o.

No sensible person is joking with money these days or throwing it around anyhow. Except you have the gift of giving and you really care about the poor/charity.

@ Topic, genuine condolences poster. I have no encouraging words.

I can't help thinking the single life is bliss considering the recent narratives of married folks on this forum.

My dear, see me o. Joking ke.. abeg, who go joke send me 13k? Biko. ...

The guy is not a responsible guy. Imagine the rubbish he says to them. Hian!

Cheerycherry:
I'm tired of the disrespect the whole nonsense brings to me and I'm considering leaving. I have a well paying job, I take care of my personal expenses and send money to my parents and siblings myself and we have a child together.
It's not s ex cos we have sex not less than 2-3 times a week; very satisfying s ex. I need inputs from married people please.
We have an ongoing building project together which we are both sponsoring 50:50. I'm not an uptight person at all, I talk, I make jokes, I'm not boring!

Please try to engage a professional marriage counselor at this point, at least as last resort before you leave. Obviously, your husband is wrong and you have tried communicating this directly to him on more than one occasion but it wouldn't hurt to get a professional to help get the point across, right?

By the way, I hope you both registered your marriage in the courts as it may be difficult to claim your portion of marital property, in the case of divorce,
otherwise.

Mercychen:
Hes trying to play on your intelligence by distracting your focus on him until he starts the actual cheating under your nose without your knowledge.

Secondly. Don't be fooled by the "I'm joking" cliche he puts up whenever you accost him on the matter. That's a total disrespect to you and you deserve better as his wife.

He should be responsible and stop messing around on social media with little girls by talking dirty with them. Worst, is him giving her money.. like who jokes with their money these days. Hes definitely not joking. Don't be fooled.

Give him one last stern warning that if such happens again, you won't hesitate to call him out in a family meeting and dissolve whatever you both have. If he tries it again, proceed with the threat.

There's no point trying to patch a rotten husband who doesnt regard you or is even willing to change.

You didn't read where she said she needs advice from married people?
Why all this plenty talk

Cheerycherry:
This is not the first time! I'm very open! I'm not an SU, I'm not a wrapper tying wife, I've talked to him, done all sorts even when I'm dead tired I give in to sex in different forms! Is there anything else?

How certain are you that all he has done so far is emotional cheat on you?

Your husband na real brostitute. After 6 years of relationship, he hasn’t realized he’s a married man. From the way he chats with young ladies, he must be in the category of men who gets slapped on their bald head.
It is well with your marriage.

Hmmmm...
Madam your husband is cheating on you. There's nothing you can do about it until he decides it's over.

Stop going to his phone period!

Call him out with is mother or pastor or any other person he respects and will listen to so that they can talk him out of that habit. Let's just up he is not already sleeping with those girls.

ChoCho54:
Hmmmm...
Madam your husband is cheating on you. There's nothing you can do about it until he decides it's over.

Stop going to his phone period!

What do you mean by the advice in bold? Are you suggesting she turn a blind eye to the man's violation of his agreement to her?.

She already knows what is on his phone and there's no taking that away at this point. So what will her stopping do for the marriage?

Stevenbright:
Call him out with is mother or pastor or any other person he respects and will listen to so that they can talk him out of that habit. Let's just up he is not already sleeping with those girls.

Does doing this ever really work out in favor of the woman in question?

We have many more cases of mothers, pastors and so-called respected persons turning around to blame the wife for one thing or another than we have examples of cases where marriages have been positively turned around by this.

Kobojunkie:
What do you mean by the advice in bold? Are you suggesting she turn a blind eye to the man's violation of his agreement to her?.

She already knows what is on his phone and there's no taking that away at this point. So what will her stopping do for the marriage?

What the eyes does not see, the heart does not grief about.

ChoCho54:
What the eyes does not see, the heart does not grief about.

But ignorance, we are sure, is not bliss though.

And her eyes have seen and so cannot unsee what has already been seen.

Cheerycherry:


This is not the first time! I'm very open! I'm not an SU, I'm not a wrapper tying wife, I've talked to him, done all sorts even when I'm dead tired I give in to sex in different forms! Is there anything else?

Because we men tends to keep our complaint inside and express it through action.

Kobojunkie:
But ignorance, we are sure, is not bliss though.

And her eyes have seen and so cannot unsee what has already been seen.

If she leaves him because of his intentions to cheat, what's the guarantee the next man won't cheat on her? Then she leaves the second man for cheating and move to the third one, what's the guarantee there again?

Even the mannequin in aso cheated on Aisha with that Humanitarian disaster woman to the point of wanting to marry her, but Aisha didn't leave him.

Cheerycherry:


This is not the first time! I'm very open! I'm not an SU, I'm not a wrapper tying wife, I've talked to him, done all sorts even when I'm dead tired I give in to sex in different forms! Is there anything else?

Sharaaaap dia! You children of nowadays!

The man dey suffer you? E dey abuse you? E dey beat you? Somebody wey una join hands dey build house, simply because he's reacting to the things he sees on TikTok, you want to kee yasef! Foolish geh!

Abeg park out if you want to. Before 2 days, he'd be fuccking those girls on the bed you both shared!

He will so flex your absence ehn..
He will be walking around naked in the house and celebrating his freedom.

After six months, you will finally accept his begging and go back home only to be seeing artificial nails that fell off from God knows who everywhere.

Now you will start buying new bedsheets to replace the old ones because you know the royal rumble that took place on them

ChoCho54:
If she leaves him because of his intentions to cheat, what's the guarantee the next man won't cheat on her? Then she leaves the second man for cheating and move to the third one, what's the guarantee there again?

So you think it is OK to remain in a failed relationship- a one where your vows are disrespected and you as an individual no longer matter - because you fear that the next relationship you find yourself in may end up the same way?

Wow.... silly question... if you altogether decide not to do relationships at all, and keep your dignity as an individual, will you be sentenced to death for it?

If you are so consumed with fear that your lot is to only end up in emotionally damaging relationships, why not decide against relationships altogether?

---

P.S. I have never come across an individual in a relationship where he/she is being cheated on that is not damaged (emotionally, mentally and sometimes physically) by it.

ChoCho54:
Even the mannequin in aso cheated on Aisha with that Humanitarian disaster woman to the point of wanting to marry her, but Aisha didn't leave him.

So you hold that up as a standard for yourself as far as marriage is concerned?