Her business not mine.

I want you to have a child for me out of wedlock. I will take care of the child.
About your mental health, please let's discuss.
Find out more about me here:

https://www.nairaland.com/7116074/need-god-fearing-wife-aged-34

. Try to see a therapist to fight your mental health and note that lonliness do kills once in a while

You're the architect of your own way of life...You determine the direction!

Poswahala:
Guys I genuinely need some advice
Because of the state of my mental health I have decided never to get married or have kids.

I suffer from intense depression and anxiety and other mental health problems. I'm unsure of my own future talk more of a child.

I do love being in relationships but I do that only for companionship and sex.

I don't know if I will regret my decision. The guys I have dated have been cool with my no marriage proposal but I don't think any Nigerian man will not want kids.

I'm thinking of moving to another country, buy a house, take care of my community and neighbors then when I'm old, I will move to a retirement home.

If I change my mind I can adopt a child, am not against adoption as I am with marriage, it depends on if my mental health improves.

The problem I have is that will I be lonely without a child, like I said I'm not into marriage despite being a woman trained in traditional home, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's not just for me. I will be unhappy being married.

But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.

Please advise.

My dear don't conclude yet on your matter trust in Jesus Christ for there is nothing too hard for him to do. In life every man and woman have an appointed wife and husband that God has ordained for them, I will advise you to seek God and render service to him by joining any department of your choice in your church if you don't have look for a better church and serve God whole heartedly you will see him turn around your condition for good.

Exodus 23:25 (KJV) And ye shall serve the LORD your God, and he shall bless thy bread, and thy water; and I will take sickness away from the midst of thee. Thank me later

Gentlerespect76:


This decision is self destructive.

Without knowing the state of her mental issues, you already judged her decision?

Humans.

Carcholce:
Why not start from a mental home first. Take care of the problem.

A lot of Nigerian women have mental problem but they call it “mood swings”

Not just Nigerian women...

Most Nigerians have mental health issues which no one talks about... And why won't they?!!! Living in this country is not mentally and emotionally uplifting.

Thank God you threw the matter on the floor for more advice. As a woman you were born by a woman and you are expected to do so for yourself to avoid had i know at last weather you married or not just look for a child or children that would take of you when you’re in old age. Thanks!!!

Have you been diagnosed by a Psychiatrist?

Poswahala:
Guys I genuinely need some advice
Because of the state of my mental health I have decided never to get married or have kids.

I suffer from intense depression and anxiety and other mental health problems. I'm unsure of my own future talk more of a child.

I do love being in relationships but I do that only for companionship and sex.

I don't know if I will regret my decision. The guys I have dated have been cool with my no marriage proposal but I don't think any Nigerian man will not want kids.

I'm thinking of moving to another country, buy a house, take care of my community and neighbors then when I'm old, I will move to a retirement home.

If I change my mind I can adopt a child, am not against adoption as I am with marriage, it depends on if my mental health improves.

The problem I have is that will I be lonely without a child, like I said I'm not into marriage despite being a woman trained in traditional home, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's not just for me. I will be unhappy being married.

But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.

Please advise.

Your case is complex in the sense that you know the problem you have with mental issues

You have not started what you ha e done to put yourself back to normal

Does it mean that you want to be alone in this world, loneliness kills faster than sickness

Am glad you use to be into relationships, taken in, ha e the child, hand the child to any family member that will help you nurse the child

With time your mental health will go away, if you realy work on it and by then you will appreciate the child

If you have the money to relocate abroad and live yourself then settle in the old people's home, that means you have lost your roots and no one will see you again talk more of your corpse

First of all, go to Psychiatric hospital and treat yourself properly then let's see if you can reason like a normal woman

Judybash93:


Without using the bible, can you defend this point?

One question

Where did you take life from?

Man or woman?

You are open about your mental health challenges. Please take care of that first. Do not make long term decision while you are at it. You will be surprised by how you will see things differently once you are in better mental health.
May you receive healing.

nenyewrites:


US VP is married.

At what age did she do so and after what achievements?

Poswahala:
Guys I genuinely need some advice
Because of the state of my mental health I have decided never to get married or have kids.

I suffer from intense depression and anxiety and other mental health problems. I'm unsure of my own future talk more of a child.

I do love being in relationships but I do that only for companionship and sex.

I don't know if I will regret my decision. The guys I have dated have been cool with my no marriage proposal but I don't think any Nigerian man will not want kids.

I'm thinking of moving to another country, buy a house, take care of my community and neighbors then when I'm old, I will move to a retirement home.

If I change my mind I can adopt a child, am not against adoption as I am with marriage, it depends on if my mental health improves.

The problem I have is that will I be lonely without a child, like I said I'm not into marriage despite being a woman trained in traditional home, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's not just for me. I will be unhappy being married.

But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.

Please advise.

This what uncountable BODYCOUNT and have some free money, due to having special privileges AND UNTOP OF BAD PARENTAL UPBRINGING...


When life hits you in another dimension and poverty strikes your bratty spoilt brains YOU WILL HAVE SENSE.

Just get pregnant... Pregnancy changes the mindset of lots of women

Poswahala:
Guys I genuinely need some advice
Because of the state of my mental health I have decided never to get married or have kids.

I suffer from intense depression and anxiety and other mental health problems. I'm unsure of my own future talk more of a child.

I do love being in relationships but I do that only for companionship and sex.

I don't know if I will regret my decision. The guys I have dated have been cool with my no marriage proposal but I don't think any Nigerian man will not want kids.

I'm thinking of moving to another country, buy a house, take care of my community and neighbors then when I'm old, I will move to a retirement home.

If I change my mind I can adopt a child, am not against adoption as I am with marriage, it depends on if my mental health improves.

The problem I have is that will I be lonely without a child, like I said I'm not into marriage despite being a woman trained in traditional home, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's not just for me. I will be unhappy being married.

But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.

Please advise.

there is nothing wrong with your decision. You can adopt a child, if you so much desire to have a child.

Poswahala:
Guys I genuinely need some advice
Because of the state of my mental health I have decided never to get married or have kids.

I suffer from intense depression and anxiety and other mental health problems. I'm unsure of my own future talk more of a child.

I do love being in relationships but I do that only for companionship and sex.

I don't know if I will regret my decision. The guys I have dated have been cool with my no marriage proposal but I don't think any Nigerian man will not want kids.

I'm thinking of moving to another country, buy a house, take care of my community and neighbors then when I'm old, I will move to a retirement home.

If I change my mind I can adopt a child, am not against adoption as I am with marriage, it depends on if my mental health improves.

The problem I have is that will I be lonely without a child, like I said I'm not into marriage despite being a woman trained in traditional home, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's not just for me. I will be unhappy being married.

But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.

Please advise.

The truth is Giving birth to children is a zero sum game. Over 70% of parents regret using their youth for child birth and raising children.

As a person. You should have a life. Life. Experience life. Before thinking of children.

When it comes to marriage. It's all about what you want. For me. I belive everyone deserves companionship. Infact we crave it. That's why people do all sort of things just to have a companion. We hide it. We praize breakup stories even gave it a name. Breakfast just to make up for our lack of campanionship.

If u find a partner, whom u both sincerely care for each other. And want to see each other happy at all times. Getting married won't be bad.

Be very open and communicate in details. I mean u both should be committed. That u can even know each others phone passwords without issue kind of committed. Our world is dynamic and changing. The way marriage was done 1000 years ago won't work today. So by all means do u. And always remember to protect your peace of mind at all times.

Poswahala:
Guys I genuinely need some advice
Because of the state of my mental health I have decided never to get married or have kids.

I suffer from intense depression and anxiety and other mental health problems. I'm unsure of my own future talk more of a child.

I do love being in relationships but I do that only for companionship and sex.

I don't know if I will regret my decision. The guys I have dated have been cool with my no marriage proposal but I don't think any Nigerian man will not want kids.

I'm thinking of moving to another country, buy a house, take care of my community and neighbors then when I'm old, I will move to a retirement home.

If I change my mind I can adopt a child, am not against adoption as I am with marriage, it depends on if my mental health improves.

The problem I have is that will I be lonely without a child, like I said I'm not into marriage despite being a woman trained in traditional home, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's not just for me. I will be unhappy being married.

But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.

Please advise.

I think you have spiritual husband and needs deliverance, that's how it does at time. Secondly move closer to God,Jesus will help you. Mathew 11:28 come unto me all ye that labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest. Also John 15:4-6. Turn to Lord Jesus today and you shall be free. For if the son of man shall make you free,you shall be free indeed. And when you shall turn to the Lord,the veil shall be taken away. Sister Jesus loves you. For this purpose the son of man was manifested to destroy the works of the devil. And finally beloved Jesus came for this same purpose that you may have life and have it more abundantly.

Newton2024:
You have not met the man God designed for you. The man that is strong where you are weak. The man that is not like you but is compatible with you. That's why you are scared for no tangible reason.

Let no one deceive you, marriage is the sweetest thing in life. Joy of motherhood is unquantifiable. Before it is late for you, seek the face of God in marriage.

Marriage and having children are just overrated. Not the sweetest at all.

Having children is the biggest risk one can take because you are stuck with it for the rest of your life. There are no guarantees as to how the kids will turn out. Not nowadays anyway.

Poswahala:
Guys I genuinely need some advice
Because of the state of my mental health I have decided never to get married or have kids.

I suffer from intense depression and anxiety and other mental health problems. I'm unsure of my own future talk more of a child.

I do love being in relationships but I do that only for companionship and sex.

I don't know if I will regret my decision. The guys I have dated have been cool with my no marriage proposal but I don't think any Nigerian man will not want kids.

I'm thinking of moving to another country, buy a house, take care of my community and neighbors then when I'm old, I will move to a retirement home.

If I change my mind I can adopt a child, am not against adoption as I am with marriage, it depends on if my mental health improves.

The problem I have is that will I be lonely without a child, like I said I'm not into marriage despite being a woman trained in traditional home, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's not just for me. I will be unhappy being married.

But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.

Please advise.

Dear Poswahala,
I really commend your efforts behind trying to take care of your mental health! It's not easy especially in this our dear country,people always seem to forget that our mental health is a huge part of our holistic nature, once it's not in check,the physical follows along. They aren't a lot of people like you out there, people who can own up to what they are passing through and take the right measures accordingly. This measures differ from person to person depending on the person.
If you feel that marriage and kids aren't for you, then don't partake in it! For the love of yourself and for the love of the people who will have to suffer it with you! Some people are not mentally prepared for that and if you feel it's the right choice for yourself PLEASE DO IT! Please pay no heed to all this ignorant nlanders who think life is all about marriage and kids, life is ultimately about your happiness and you must do anything in your power to maintain it. Forget customs and traditions because at the end of the day you eventually do get married and have kids you may end up heavily regretting it and causing serious emotional damage to your family.
At this point in your life please seek professional assistance and please talk to any trusted loved one and release some of your burdens, if you are a believer pray to God for guidance and keep trying! Nigerians believe that when a person says he is depressed the person is sad or broke but its more than that! Depression is not something that can be solved with a snap of a finger but it takes time and support from family and friends. I really hope you bounce back because it's not an easy battle!
All the best!

Try and seek help first before making a final decision.

Having kids would drive a normal person crazy, much less someone who is depressed.

And you're on the right track, since you can identify the problem, that's the first step of getting healed.

Life is not easy for anybody.
Hugs.

Newton2024:
You have not met the man God designed for you. The man that is strong where you are weak. The man that is not like you but is compatible with you. That's why you are scared for no tangible reason.

Let no one deceive you, marriage is the sweetest thing in life. Joy of motherhood is unquantifiable. Before it is late for you, seek the face of God in marriage.

Yes married life is the sweetest. But if you missed your God ordained life partner, I think it's better to be single than to marry the wrong person.

However, no matter who you marry, with patience and tolerance it can succeed. But many people lack patience, tolerance and forgiveness, hence the high divorce rate.

franchasofficia:
The only to solve this problem permanently is for Nigerian government to start partnering with private organizations like Banks, Insurance firms, etc and even Churches to start building aged people retirement homes and facilities to cater for aged Nigerians as they grow old.



This will also revive Nigeria's dead health sector which would create jobs for our healthcare professionals as these aged people homes and facilities will have well equiped and well managed hospitals and clinics to cater for the health of these aged people living in those facilities.



This will also give Nigerians peace of mind from overpopulating Nigeria as a retirement plan

.
Well Said!!!

kingyakos:


It's non of ur biz so face ur front

You know maybe dem get job for you?

tensazangetsu20:
There's a lot of Nigerian men who don't want children. They are called anti natalist. You just havent met them yet but they exist.

You're talking to one right now

My advice is for you to your kids now same time trying to see doctor for your mental health. Time no dey wait for person oo, especially women

Holluwhakemmy:
Change your mindset two are better than one.

Kemo are you sure? Osinachi thought two is better. Recently heard that one husband told his wife that he'll kill her and run out of town

You're your problem: reason being that you you're too skeptical about your problem will be resoluted one day. H

Change your thinking start believing that you're going to be heal that all this shall pass away anytime soon.

Begin to seeing yourself in peace, love harmony, joy and tranquility.

Start refilling your subconscious mind with positive thought. Stay positive and think positively.

From today onward I want you to start affirming good thing about yourself, start affirming this as follow: "marriage is good it established by God for me to enjoy, my mental state is sane, sound, incredible and fabulous, my life is deepen in love, joy, peace, harmony and tranquility, I'm a blessing I'm blessed with a loving family husband and loving children my life is rich of love."

By the time you begin to fill the tank of your subconscious mind with this affirming word then all these this you affirming will begin to be your experience through the power of your subconscious mind. But if you continue to negative your thinking you'll experience negativity because what ever theory, thought or condition we subject ourselves to believe we shall experience. Shallom

LastProphet:


At what age did she do so and after what achievements?

Bottom line is she is married.

Gentlerespect76:


This decision is self destructive.

That is it.

Any other suggestion or advice given to her will make her life more hellidh.

How could you make such rashed decidion and think depression will not rent duplex apartment in your brain?

Once you meet a good man, all this will change

Have you considered the fact that having a child might just be the game changer in your depressive state? A baby might just give you a bright new purpose to be happy and conquer your depression because you want to be there for him or her. The bond shared might overcome your fears.
From your post, it seems lack of money is not a cardinal issue for you so you could afford a live in nanny.
Just know, you will feel terrible in retirement home when you watch your fellow housemates receiving visits and love from their children and grandchildren. Love and care from family is different from the one you will get from the caregivers in the best retirement facility.
Finally, you are not alone in this depression issue, most people are just strutting along.
Cheers