Hi landers
Am an attractive lady of 26 and i get a lot of attention from so called "men". I have equaly been attracted to a couple too. The problem however is that I have never met one who dosent mind waiting till marriage to have sex. They all bolt the moment they know am a v and i aint ready for sex. It really hurts because i used to have a lot of respect for the male folks, most of my friends are even guys. I dont know what to do coz  am not ready to go into a relationship involving sex. Is it a crime to be a v and to want to wait till marriage? Am sincerly asking, Are all guys like that? Am even beginning to get scared, will i ever get a man of my own.
Pls help me, am realy discouraged and getting hateful of men.

@ Sparta: You'll know when you meet the right man, and you'll also know when you're ready to go further.

Not all men are like that, there are men who are also virgins, though they seldom admit it. Sometimes, when a man appears to want to have sex, it's often false bravado, just to appear "worldly" in the eyes of a lady.

Stick to your guns, and don't feel pressured to sleep with any guy, just because they want you to. There's nothing wrong with being a virgin, and if these guys take to the hills as soon as they know you're one, then they're not the right ones for you.

You will find the right man in time. Try less hard, and don't feel dispirited. There's nothing wrong with not having a boyfriend at all. And, try not to hate / dislike men, you may not say it to them, but believe me, they'll sense it. And that doesn't help.

Good luck, and stay safe!

Thanks Sienna, really appreciate your response.

U have not replied this post

@sparta
The reason why guys bolt away when they discover that u ar a V may not e far fetched. for a Guy like me I'v bolted away once 'cos I would not like to disvirgin a girl i know I cant marry. A case of Ethics and morals u may say

Again some girls pretend i4 their men to be virgins only for them to be having affair elswhere. U may not be the kind but Guyz have encounterd so many funny sides of Ladies.

Don't bother 'cos U'll definitely see someone who'll understand. It depends on trust.

Everything that had occured, everything that is occuring or will ever occured, is a manifestation of your innermost thoughts, choices, ideas, regarding who you are, who you choose to be. Be therefore not in despise those aspects of life, people, things, with which you disagree,


Behold the darkness, yet curse it not! Be a bringer of light for your light can do more than illuminate your path. Let your light so shine forth, that everyone will see at last, who you really are,

Meditate on those word and harken to wisdom. Don't let the disappointment of a few perverts be in your path to glory. If you hate men, someday, you would begin to hate yourself. There are ways to solve your problems than condemn men generation as a whole.

I don't know much about you, but I am sure you play yourself to your present position. You can redeem it if you but do the right thing.

Cheer.

hmm, Can you please tell me how i "played myself into that position and how i can redeem it"?

There’s no reason to hate men. The questions you should ask yourself are where did you meet those guys? What are their life styles? What do they do for a living?

A gainfully employed responsible man won’t keep pestering a 26 year old lady for pre-marital sex if he has intentions of marrying her.

My advice to you is that you take a proper look at the kind of man that approaches you before you agree to go out with him. Don’t just get carried away by the lovely words he tells you.

I strongly believe that there are nice guys out there and if you follow your mind and avoid pursuing material things, you would have one for yourself.

Sparta, you're just in the right place. Hook up with Seun 'cause I understand he's also a virgin

i don't think its fair when women categorize all men as dogs or something like that, I've been with tonnes of girls that couldn't wait to get at me too. so sex is really a relative thing depending on the people in question. i have no problem whatsoever with waiting for the right time if my girl is not ready as long as she is true to herself as well " Cus one minute u could make a brother feel u a V and then it turns out u r not" just wait till you meet the right guy thats all. and there a good number of very descent guys out there, really!

extreme:

i don't think its fair when women categorize all men as dogs or something like that, I've been with tonnes of girls that couldn't wait to get at me too. so sex is really a relative thing depending on the people in question. i have no problem whatsoever with waiting for the right time if my girl is not ready as long as she is true to herself as well " Cus one minute u could make a brother feel u a V and then it turns out you're not" just wait till you meet the right guy thats all. and there a good number of very descent guys out there, really!

Eyaaa. . .










_{doesn't mean I fell for your yans o}

Sparta, you're just in the right place. Hook up with Seun 'cause I understand he's also a virgin

He he he he very funny

crazykid:

He he he he very funny

Wasn't meant to be a joke. It's a fact most people know

He he he he

Don't let him hear that from you.

You're in danger of losing Mr. Right from among the 90% of men who love pre-marital sexual intercourse like every man should. You better lower sex from the exulted position you've placed it in your life. There are more important criteria to choose a man than his natural libido, which BTW is perfectly normal before committing to a relationship.

i do not categorise all men as dogs but are they not all especially these young guys in suit.?

They are simply proving themselves to be. To add salt to the injury, a supposed good friend (married with a kid) asked me to help him recently too . He got married two or three years ago and when his wife concieved she had to go abroad to deliver her child. Well because she wants to get oyinbo's green card, she is still there while her husband is starving here.

I called my good friend some time just to check on him as a friend and guess what he said, " pls, u'v got to help me, am in a desert here. I was too shocked but kept my calm because i respect him a lot. I advised him to call his wife to come home if he cant cope again. He simply said she was working towards getting her green card.

Imagine, this is a friend who knows am a v and even advised me to wait, now he is an "desert" and wants me as a play thing. Now just what do you expect me to think of men with all these sex nonsense and obsession. Is it a meal ticket?

If you had a  gun to you head, wont you control yourself? Don't blame me, many of them are just weaklings, why do men make sex look like a feat that can not be conquered ?

A man without self control is just like a house without a roof.

It takes wisdom to dig into the past when you are not a participant. I would rather challenge you to do a thorogh examination of the way you met those guys and what draw you to them. Through your deep reflection, you would find out what is missing. Why were you always meeting sexmaniacs, what did those guys saw that drove them away etc

At 26, you cannot tell me or any sane guy that you have never dated before.  That you have many guys around you is also suspect. Let me tell you something "expect more men to want to bed you". This is not because I am in support of that action. The truth is that, when a lady is so much found around guys, imaginations work at highest level. Men start wondering what goes on inside the house. Few would belive you are clean. For both negative and positive reasons. The people you relates with would determine the type of reception you get from outsiders, sometimes, not all times.

Brace yourself up and change your tactics. You can find the man that is right for you.

Don't hate men. There is hope for you if you are not loose type. Real men will find you out. On how to redeem yourself begin from the steps above. See if something need to change. You would never regret it. TURN TO GOD, IF YOU HAVE FAITH. IF NOT, DON'T LOSE HOPE. Soon, you would see what I mean.

@sparta

you dey 9ja u dey ask for time? u no know how shit they happen?
U just start, yeye!

I see your point olanajim but i must tell you that the fault is not mine but we are just in a very promiscous society. I am not the wild type at all but am very friendly. I make friends easily and i have five brothers so you can see why i  relate easily with the opposite sex. I used to be very close to my Dad when i was much younger too.

If you read my post well, you will understand that the attention is basically because of my beauty and i will not begin to see it as a curse. I relate well with men as a matter of background and self discipline. I am a human being too and i have feelings myself but i do not let momentary pleasure becloud my reasoning.

That is exactly what most young guys lack.

As for where i meet these guys, where else? i meet guys while going about my daily busines; work school, business, hangouts with friends. I do not club, it has never even entered my wildest imagination and i dress decently.  I meet people and give them a benefit of a doubt. Many even pose as been decent, they talk about church and religious activities well.  

so what else can i do? I am very open minded with guys although i have heard people say its not possible to have a guy for just a friend, that means some people just see the opposite sex as sexual treasure, hmm. What a shallow life to live.

I  have loads of casual male friends who relate well with me and we have been of great help with each other over the years.

As for those who cannot relate well with the opposite sex without feeling funny, I think they just have a serious psychological problem about human relations.  

Quote by poster,
I have loads of casual male friends who relate well with me and we have been of great help with each other over the years.


don't worry when u are finally ready these casual friends will help u greatly in that aspect too.

Thank you for shedding more light on the issue. From your reply, I could see you are really angry at men. A glimpse at the info you provided show alot more about you. I would therefore refrain from making comment in that regard.

Your beauty isn't a curse. It is the magnet that draw men to you. Let me tell you with due respect that men who can wait for marriage without having sex with you abounds. I am sorry to say, for most unselfish, decent guys, your beauty isn't enough to attract them. Not that they are scare or something, but from the picture you created above, it is obvious responsible guys are doubting your sincerity, your claim to purity even if you are truthful. The onus lies on you to create a little space and let prospective suitor sight you and chat you up. Let them approach you. Growing up in a men dominated area doesn't mean you should surround yourself with hungry men.

Let me illustrate further: a beautiful lady who is constantly around men that are not her body guards is repelling certain segment of men community. A responsible suitor would think twice before infiltrating the guys. It has nothing to do with courage, my friend.

Change your tactic since those guys around you had shown they can't help you by producing a decent guy for you among them. Real guys don't go for beauty alone when it come to serious relationship. Relax your rule if you any and learn to build your friends among ladies. Ladies can help your cause better than the guys.

I really understand your predicament. Please hating men will hurt you more. You seem responsible.

By the way, don't bother about guys who allow their 'pajapaja' think for them to frustrate you, If you are not desperate, you will find your man. I still insist that if the guys flocking around you don't know your worth, but keep asking for sex, then you need to change them instead of blaming entire men. Should you meet a real man, why wait longer? Marry,it helps.

Pray over it and you would be rightly guided.

Thank you for shedding more light on the issue. From your reply, I could see you are really angry at men. A glimpse at the info you provided show alot more about you. I would therefore refrain from making comment in that regard.

Your beauty isn't a curse. It is the magnet that draw men to you. Let me tell you with due respect that men who can wait for marriage without having sex with you abounds. I am sorry to say, for most unselfish, decent guys, your beauty isn't enough to attract them. Not that they are scare or something, but from the picture you created above, it is obvious responsible guys are doubting your sincerity, your claim to purity even if you are truthful. The onus lies on you to create a little space and let prospective suitor sight you and chat you up. Let them approach you. Growing up in a men dominated area doesn't mean you should surround yourself with hungry men.

Let me illustrate further: a beautiful lady who is constantly around men that are not her body guards is repelling certain segment of men community. A responsible suitor would think twice before infiltrating the guys. It has nothing to do with courage, my friend.

Change your tactic since those guys around you had shown they can't help you by producing a decent guy for you among them. Real guys don't go for beauty alone when it come to serious relationship. Relax your rule if you any and learn to build your friends among ladies. Ladies can help your cause better than the guys.

I really understand your predicament. Please hating men will hurt you more. You seem responsible.

By the way, don't bother about guys who allow their 'pajapaja' think for them to frustrate you, If you are not desperate, you will find your man. I still insist that if the guys flocking around you don't know your worth, but keep asking for sex, then you need to change them instead of blaming entire men. Should you meet a real man, why wait longer? Marry,it helps.

Pray over it and you would be rightly guided.

these days - who want a virgin anyway - well, u are surely goin to find out that u are the only virgin in this whole world, a virgin at 26? wo - my pastor is doing deliverance - please come and join - i am sure u ar joking - if u say 21 - we can manage - but at 26 - ol' girl - it is something else o - no man wants to marry a virgin these days - no one wants to marry someone who has no experience - don't u get it? if i am u - tmrow - i will ensure i have sex sex sex - common. According to research - women who says they are beautiful are actually very wowoistic - so quit doing this to yourself - one thing is sure - u hate men or not - u can not remain a virgin forever - it is a man who will still break your virginity - put his long, bent oko inside wet wet wet obo - dont u get it?

these days - who want a virgin anyway - well, u are surely goin to find out that u are the only virgin in this whole world, a virgin at 26? wo - my pastor is doing deliverance - please come and join - i am sure u ar joking - if u say 21 - we can manage - but at 26 - ol' girl - it is something else o - no man wants to marry a virgin these days - no one wants to marry someone who has no experience - don't u get it? if i am u - tmrow - i will ensure i have sex sex sex - common. According to research - women who says they are beautiful are actually very wowoistic - so quit doing this to yourself - one thing is sure - u hate men or not - u can not remain a virgin forever - it is a man who will still break your virginity - put his long, bent oko inside wet wet wet obo - don't u get it?

Poor thing!

you cant even make a meaningful contribution. Who says no one wants a virgin? And if no one does, neither do i want a man who is no diff frm a he-goat. Men who go about galivanting and thinking thy have experience whereas they are jst weaklings who do not have self control. poor things!

May God provide you a woman who is an "ajadi apere" if you r a man and if you r a woman may God provide you a He-goat who has had experience with everything in trousers and skirt respectively. 

simply_me:

these days - who want a virgin anyway - well, u are surely goin to find out that u are the only virgin in this whole world, a virgin at 26? wo - my pastor is doing deliverance - please come and join - i am sure u ar joking - if u say 21 - we can manage - but at 26 - ol' girl - it is something else o - no man wants to marry a virgin these days - no one wants to marry someone who has no experience - don't u get it? if i am u - tmrow - i will ensure i have sex sex sex - common. According to research - women who says they are beautiful are actually very wowoistic - so quit doing this to yourself - one thing is sure - u hate men or not - u can not remain a virgin forever - it is a man who will still break your virginity - put his long, bent oko inside wet wet wet obo - don't u get it?

i hope u are not anothjer oboatioko, that girl makes very stupid contributions,

anyway@poster, a virgin at 26 is very suspicious.are u sure u are okay?

seun please can u ban that idiot, kai,

It is not impossible to find a virgin at 26. I can authoritative say that I have been incontact with a 23, 24, and 25 year old virgins. One of them was my own sister though she'd just married. Her husband is a living witness. Others are my intimate friends. We made a serious mistake any time we assume that the corruption of the few defines the larger populace.

My view is that male virgins also abound. The reason we don't take interest in male virgins is probably because most of them don't go about like women talking about their chastity. It is easy to recognize one at least in principle.

pls fight fairly if you have to. Who is the idiot to be banned?

that stupid simply me