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Should I Tell His Wife That He Is Having An Affair With Me? - Romance - Nairaland

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Should I Tell His Wife That He Is Having An Affair With Me? by ilovepda: 11:24am On Feb 27, 2006
Maybe you think that I'm crazy, I'm wondering if I should tell his wife that he is having an affair with me for 2 months!

He said that he used to be a well-recognized honest husband.  He has rejected lots of opportunities during his 6-year marriage.  However, he is studying at school now in order to achieve a higher standard of life, he has no idea why he falls for me that much.

I have no idea, either.  I haven't casted any charm on him before.  It was just a very common occaoccasiont he offered me a ride to somewhere, and then, when we arrived at that place, he confessed that he felt a strong connection between us: all he wanna do was to kiss me and have sex with me right away.

Since we are classmates, we do want to keep professional relationship when we first talked about this issue.  But, whenever we have any chance to study together, he can't help to cool down his impulsiveness to get in "touch" with me, then it becomes the real touching, and then we have MouthAction, but we never kissed! ,  I really love the way he touches me.

Now I found that I am in a dilemma that I am in love with him.  On one hand, I know it's not good to keep him around because he is married, and he wants to get out of the whimsical situation as well, it's just he doesn't have a strong determination to achieve it.  We've been discussed it for a month.  On the other hand, I do want to be his lover or partner forever because we've experienced lots of real exposivelexplosivelyfessional teamwork results.  I AM the right person to help everything for him, and he is relied on my help for school works now as well.

He once said he LOVES independent woman like me, and he complaint a bit about his wife's dependency.  But right after that, he yelled, "I still love her!"

In my heart, I know no matter how much I love him, I may not be his wife in the future because he is a faithful husband, at least he thinks so.  But he still dares not to tell his wife about this affair to keep his honesty records.  He just wanted to end it quietly - but the fact has proved that as long as he wants to keep friendship with me, he can't get out of the situation clean.  He said it's the only time he cheated on his wife.  He now cannot lecture other people cheating is not a good thing in the marriage. In other words, the only way to have him get out of this trouble relationship is to let the wife know. (I can't believe I say it, I still love him in a romantic way.)

I do think either he or I should tell the wife the truth.  I know he really doesn't have the guts to tell the truth.  Should I tell her, should I?
Re: Should I Tell His Wife That He Is Having An Affair With Me? by tejuoso1(f): 11:40am On Feb 27, 2006
No don't tell his wife, why would you want to do so, just let go of her husband and leave them alone because if you tell she'll get annoyed and split with her real husband then you automatically be the new wife and you don't wanna do this to her do you? mend someone's home
Re: Should I Tell His Wife That He Is Having An Affair With Me? by alheri(f): 12:03pm On Feb 27, 2006
teju,even if she tells the wife and the wife leaves him, he will never even marry her.
Look ilovepda, that man is just playing games with you. He will never leave his wife for you. If you dare try teling his wife, he will just deny you and claim youre chasing him or something. The way he sounds, he still loves his wife and cant live without her. He's just experimenting with you cause he's in a school environment. Just try to concentrate on acquiring whatever cert. you are currently pursuing and get away from that man, never look back and your own man will surely come. Men can be crafty, its a pity you fell in love with him, but fall out of it fast. Face your studies and dont dom that MouthAction thingy with him again. Its not worth it.
Sorry if I was too harsh.

1 Like

Re: Should I Tell His Wife That He Is Having An Affair With Me? by Seun(m): 3:52pm On Feb 27, 2006
Hehe. Go and find your own man! Women and their inhumanity against women.
Re: Should I Tell His Wife That He Is Having An Affair With Me? by tejuoso1(f): 7:47pm On Feb 27, 2006
i'm with you alheri
Re: Should I Tell His Wife That He Is Having An Affair With Me? by Hotstepper(f): 9:28pm On Feb 27, 2006
I neva believe in gurlz having an affiar with a married man or da opposite, itz just 2 wrong and can't imagine maseldf in dat position and as well think if u were da wife, da man is an idot, so datz da skool he came to 2 find a brighter future. gurl, just run away now itz not 2 late cuz u don't know wat his plans r cuz itz alwayz in da name of love,
Re: Should I Tell His Wife That He Is Having An Affair With Me? by Onyibaby(f): 11:43pm On Feb 27, 2006
My dear have you heard about the adage that says" Smart man and a Dumb woman =Affair. please for crying out loud leave the man alone.don't tell his wife or else you will ruin the marriage and remeber whatever you sow that u will reap. just tell the man u are no longer interested and get him out of ur system.
Re: Should I Tell His Wife That He Is Having An Affair With Me? by glodave(f): 9:28am On Feb 28, 2006
i'm wit u Onyibaby
Re: Should I Tell His Wife That He Is Having An Affair With Me? by whitesoftx(m): 9:34am On Feb 28, 2006
Go ahead and tell her.

after all SPEAK THE TRUTH AND THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE!!! grin grin grin

She'll be beat the HELL out of you.

1 Like

Re: Should I Tell His Wife That He Is Having An Affair With Me? by ilovepda: 10:18pm On Mar 12, 2006
I did! I told his wife, of course I asked one of my friends to make a phone call telling her that someone with some name has done something with your husband somewhere, yada yada yada. i just don't have the courage to tell her with my ture identity. maybe i'm afraid,

the magic thing is, she just laughed, and tell my friend that his husband will never do that because he is an honest person in every aspect of life. and then she ha ha again. kinda weird, ah? undecided
Re: Should I Tell His Wife That He Is Having An Affair With Me? by disney(f): 11:13pm On Mar 12, 2006
Girl, you are playing with fire, let me warn you, the same way you are cheating with him, someone else will cheat with your own husband. So better let sleeping dog lie and go find ya own man. plenty fishes de for river. You are not ugly to find a man. So leave another woman man alone and go find your own man. Nonsense story and shame on ya girl. cool
Re: Should I Tell His Wife That He Is Having An Affair With Me? by alheri(f): 11:45am On Mar 13, 2006
@ilovepda. Am sorry to say this but that was a very dumb thing to do. What was your aim? What were you planning on achieving? Were you hoping she'd get angry and dump her husband so you'd take over? See, she just laughed at you, and how does that make you feel? Fulfilled? I doubt much. silly? Probably.I never thought you would be ---- enuff to do that. A real pity. Why did you bother to ask our opinion in the first place if you knew you were going to tell her? All the opinions here said dont, so why ask in the first place?

Sorry for been too harsh, just trying to keep it real.
Re: Should I Tell His Wife That He Is Having An Affair With Me? by mamaput(f): 4:07pm On Mar 14, 2006
I would have laughed too if i were the wife.
You had no good intentions did yo ?
Any woman playing with a married man should know her place if at all.
Once long ago a friend was having an affair with a married man who happened to be a friend to my boy friend.
The wife knew me as that girl that brings letters to her husband to give my boyfriend and the same way he will collect letters from my boyfriend and give to me.
That my foolish friend started phoning her lover in the house saying she is (me) so that the wife will not suspect. Till the phone calls were getting too much.
At the end of the day she went to tell my boyfriend that am having an affair with her husband,
Ho yes he came down from Lagos first flight hooting mad.
He told me the wife has left her husband and she is telling every one because of me.
The husband said he was sorry my friend did not care then her name was clean.
But i got back at her.
The wife had packed out and my friend taught she is now the madam and ask me to follow her to the lovers house , I went with her (my boyfriend had forbidden me to go near there again)
Well the man was sitting there with an other lady, and when he saw us he said he is comming and left with the lady.
I rolled on the floor laughter my friend was annoyed. we waited for an hour , loverboy did not come back. the brother was there and offered us food .
I ate my friend was not hungry "Merrily said "all the more for me" even the brother had to laugh at this stage.
After eating i left her there .
Loverboy told her later he is not planning to take her as an only girlfriend then he loves many women , if she is ready to line up no problem.
Now that the wife has left he is free and not ready to bind himself in a hurry.
Re: Should I Tell His Wife That He Is Having An Affair With Me? by foskybaby(f): 4:58pm On Mar 14, 2006
i think deep inside you, you want the guy to break up with his wife


what God has joined together let no man put asunder

not even you can pull them apart no matter what you do, you are only letting your own man pass you by by trying to destroy someone else's .you can walk out of the relationship by keeping quite facing your studies and mostly LEAVE THE MAN ALONE.
Re: Should I Tell His Wife That He Is Having An Affair With Me? by babymine(f): 12:34pm On Mar 15, 2006
You shouldn't have called his wife. That's not proper. Please just walk away from that relationship. It's not worth it n wont do you any good.
Re: Should I Tell His Wife That He Is Having An Affair With Me? by Rhodalyn(f): 10:42pm On Mar 18, 2006
why would you want to tell his wife? aint you suppose to having an affair with him?
Re: Should I Tell His Wife That He Is Having An Affair With Me? by Seun(m): 10:12pm On Aug 05, 2006
Sure you should. Afterall the man belongs to you. The other woman is merely his wife, you know.
Re: Should I Tell His Wife That He Is Having An Affair With Me? by sagacious(f): 2:29pm On Aug 07, 2006
What is your aims after telling his wife,i pity you,
Re: Should I Tell His Wife That He Is Having An Affair With Me? by BigSis(f): 11:02pm On Aug 07, 2006
Silly girl he is not going to leave his wife for you.  Do you think by telling her he's going to be particularly fond of you.  You have to realize that your are  simply some "good Bottom" on the side.  He probably gives you some money and buy you things. Don't make his miserable because you are riding her husband and think he is going to marry you. silly girl.
Re: Should I Tell His Wife That He Is Having An Affair With Me? by anabell(f): 10:27pm On Aug 30, 2006
oh my god, how old are u. do u tink she will leave her husband 4 u.go get ur own man,remove ur eyes from da innocent women husband/and while u are lookin 4 ur man look 4 d umarried ones
Re: Should I Tell His Wife That He Is Having An Affair With Me? by bechex(m): 11:14am On Aug 31, 2006
You've had ur fun. Don't spoil it for him nooww.
Re: Should I Tell His Wife That He Is Having An Affair With Me? by HH(m): 2:50pm On Aug 31, 2006
women at it again! na wa
Re: Should I Tell His Wife That He Is Having An Affair With Me? by Damollar(m): 5:21pm On Aug 31, 2006
This is d queen of d damed @ work.
Re: Should I Tell His Wife That He Is Having An Affair With Me? by donjazzie(m): 1:06am On Sep 01, 2006
Babe. U b winch oh.real one only say u dey fly for afternoon dat na were ur own take different
Re: Should I Tell His Wife That He Is Having An Affair With Me? by doubletree(f): 11:56pm On Sep 03, 2006
he is having his cake and eating it.be strong and walk away from him.
, he relies on you for school work!! hmmmm.dodgy!( the thread started in feb.i hope it's sorted now)
Re: Should I Tell His Wife That He Is Having An Affair With Me? by TeshaS(f): 4:32pm On Sep 04, 2006
inlovepda

Honey,

First let me say this. Respect yourself enough to not allow this man to have the best of both worlds. This guy is not worth it.

You say you are in love with him, I beg to differ. I think you are in lust with him. I think you find his status intriguing. You know, I Know he is married and has committed himself to someone else but I just GOT to have him. Having what you know you shouldn't. To some its enjoyment.

Why tell his wife? Do you think he is going to leave his wife, NO. I don't buy all this stuff about you being the first he's cheated with. It is a lie. That man is a cheater and he didn't and will not tell his wife, because like he told you He still loves her.

And about being his friend girl, walk away while you still can. If not, you are going to always be is stash on the side. I am not trying to be mean, but he is playing a game on you. He is doing his best to keep you in this position, 1) you are friends, therefore, you shouldn't be tripping about a relationship 2)that he is a honest guy, you know you should continue to sleep with him because his wife is so needy. Allowing yourself to be stuck in the above positions is not cool.

He'll continue to go on with his life. Have babies and etc. You will be the one cheated.

I am a married woman so I may be a little harsh,,,but above all I am a woman. All a married man can do for me is go home to his wife. Wife the needy, the one I'm not even sleeping with, the one I am going to leave her, I'm just there for the kids, All lies.
Re: Should I Tell His Wife That He Is Having An Affair With Me? by Damollar(m): 6:34pm On Sep 04, 2006
@ Tesha - Thanx 4 ur lecture. We hope it applies to all asslikewhoa girls.



Da Brodas Advocate
Re: Should I Tell His Wife That He Is Having An Affair With Me? by dynamo2000(m): 3:59pm On Sep 06, 2006
This man is only interested in one thing and one thing only… sex other wise why is he married and interested in independent women.

There is no doubt that you have fallen for him which this is your main dilemma but if the sex is that good you can carry on. Other wise leave his wife and children out of it and find yourself a single man unless you want to remain a concubine forever wink
Re: Should I Tell His Wife That He Is Having An Affair With Me? by Damollar(m): 4:23pm On Sep 06, 2006
@dynamo2000 - Brother, I see an unpleasant pattern here. My
questions are always the constructive kind of
questions, at least to me.

Why do girls always get attracted to men known to be married and probably with kids?

But in the context of this dicussion, really i place no blame on d man. D girl really needs to check herself
Re: Should I Tell His Wife That He Is Having An Affair With Me? by TEASEME2(f): 4:45pm On Sep 06, 2006
This is the only response i have for you ,

MADARU MALO AH
MADARU MALO
KOMA DALE ONILE RU MADARU MALO

cHERRS mate
Re: Should I Tell His Wife That He Is Having An Affair With Me? by Damollar(m): 5:43pm On Sep 06, 2006
TEASEME2:

This is the only response i have for you ,

MADARU MALO AH
MADARU MALO
KOMA DALE ONILE RU MADARU MALO

cHERRS mate


@ TEASEME2 - Original African, Proudly Nigeria

If u had problems reading wat she wrote pls consult a dibia
Re: Should I Tell His Wife That He Is Having An Affair With Me? by Wumine(f): 10:03am On Sep 07, 2006
what are u doin with a married man? pls leave. wonder why u fgals like settlin for anythin. the guy is just usin u . abi u no dey help am for skul? academically and the other one wink. be wise. leave his wife out of it.

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