And in my country´s forums you can´t talk about being married with a Nigerian

tpia@:

i'm a bit bored at the moment, so i'll ask why is that.

pleep:

There is not a single intelligent poster on this Nland romance section. (if so less than 3)

corona46:

@wildwater  the only reason why your husband don't want that you contact his friends and family is, he doesn't want that you start asking them out or even complain. This has nothing to do with jealously. That doesn't mean you could talk to them when he attends, so he has you always under control.

According to the other issue marrying because of papers. I m so fed up of this discussion.

Take a glance to AlJazeera 'Surprising Europe' and especially the short video about 'Interracial relationsships' and BBC documentation 'Welcome to Lagos'.

After that make up your mind.

You are an American and you will never be a Nigerian as he will be never an American. So don't loose your own identity. Accept this. Remain true to yourself! Even if problems break you. Tolerance on both sides is here the key word.

Even the Americans here now trying to get married to a local to get a permanent stay cause the economical situation abroad is very difficult.

I am not American , beware, ;-) wouldn´t live in that country for heaps of money, have been there and there is not much about it I do like, I do not loose my identity, but I do want to know about his country, because I will understand my husband better if I understand his country, what I accectly agree with, is tolerance is the key word. Economical situation is not difficult everywhere, for US and GB I agree, the same for Spain and Italy.

Anyway thx to everybody ,the matter is settled, talked to him. Althought he didn´t quite want to talk about it, I just quoted some suggestions from here (partly he started laughing, especially, when I suggested the possibility of an Nigerian wife or girlfriend, that brought a pillow on my head and him laughing like getting bellyache) and that helped, because I would not have had some of the ideas written down in this forum, and the only thing I had to have my head washed for was having some stupid ideas. Anyway it was something about he didn´t want me to tell too much about me, he says I am too open minded and couldn´t imagine (true ;-( ) that close friends or relatives would even try to get financial advantage or try to get contacts in my country, too, using my friendslist e.g., it´s just about saving me headache. And please do not laugh about me asking such a question, but being married to a man from another country makes you ask questions about cultural differences, I haven´t had contact to Nigerians before, and, e.g. I didn´t see anybody in Nigeria kissing his girlfriend in the street, which is common in our country and there are differences in social behaviour. So who wouldn´t ask for explanations sometimes? And it´s easier to ask questions anonymous online than asking your husband all the time, how is this in your country? how is that? I do not want to get on his nerves with being curious.

Russialane:

i smell a rat