Spousal abuse, either physically or verbally should not be tolerated. Some women know exactly what will get under his skin and will say it anyway just to see what happens. Constant verbal abuse by one spouse affects the sense of self worth of the other.

Let's be honest, patience can really be stretched and the ego injured but there is no excuse for physical abuse. Men and women caught in abusive relationships (verbal or physical) should seek a resolution or a way out depending on the severity.

In true mafian fashion, my dad told my sister's husband that the day he beats her, he will fly over there, break his legs and take his daughter.

A woman should never publicly humiliate her husband though. A man can take a slap from his wife in private and forgive but it is much harder to forgive a public humiliation.

What that woman did is also inexcusable.

tbaba1234:
In true mafian fashion, my dad told my sister's husband that the day he beats her, he will fly over there, break his legs and take his daughter.

.It will rings into his ears whenever they have misunderstanding

I can't imagine a scenario that warrants beating one's wife. True, women are known to nag, but the ability to restrain oneself 4rm physically harming her when she's at her worst element tells on the man's character.

As per the issue of beating in the hadith. My own understanding is that it could not even called beating, since 'beating' literally means inflicting bodily pain.
It is a symbolic gesture of telling a woman she has really offended you. A woman sensitive enough would be able to recognize she has crossed a limit in that case.

izz dat a man
ladies/wives might be a good Nagger(permit d word) but it now take a real man to correct and ressureect d good aspect of their marriage life.
physical or otherwise, beating is not d best ANTIDOTE to a FAILING marriage.
May ALLAH(swt) grant us d best and crest of spouses. amin

Pelummy: it's not an insult , just a joke

No wahala

deols:

Seriously, he is going to spend everything he's spent his life making(, if he has made enough) or more. Because what I am going to do to him, he will forever nurse its wound.

ha ha ha, aunty deols! Just curious o, wat wil u / can u do IF that happens??

True.

Verbal abuse should never be allowed either. Both can bite deep.

kayword:

ha ha ha, aunty deols! Just curious o, wat wil u / can u do IF that happens??

It is better imagined.

Even my parents would not..What on earth would make someone i open my eyes marry to beat me.

Olohun ma je ka pade oloriburuku o. amin.

busar: it's insulting........

arghhh.sorry o.

Didnt mean to insult you.
I will not joke with you again. bye

Pelummy: deols hurt u? sowie

dont mind him

How are you btw

Ok, wife stands at door and blocks husband from going to work? Husband tries to call her "people", wife pounces on his phone and throws it away.

Man has to get to work on time or there will be serious repercussions which could lead to his dismissal.

Husband has tried for wife to reason with him but she won't. What do you think the husband should do in such a situation?

deols:

Of course you are reading the wrong meanings. I will NEVER beat anybody.

I will not let anyone beat my CHIlDren.

You hear, I hate anyone beating anyone. So if anyine beats me, he is going to pay for it. That he will pay for it does not mean that I will beat him back. Read my post again and ask questions when you don't understand what I am saying.

Don't assume the wrong things. I am NOT violent.

i know. Thanx.
May Allah gv us the best of spouce.

tbaba1234: Spousal abuse, either physically or verbally should not be tolerated. Some women know exactly what will get under his skin and will say it anyway just to see what happens. Constant verbal abuse by one spouse affects the sense of self worth of the other.

Let's be honest, patience can really be stretched and the ego injured but there is no excuse for physical abuse. Men and women caught in abusive relationships (verbal or physical) should seek a resolution or a way out depending on the severity.

In true mafian fashion, my dad told my sister's husband that the day he beats her, he will fly over there, break his legs and take his daughter.

A woman should never publicly humiliate her husband though. A man can take a slap from his wife in private and forgive but it is much harder to forgive a public humiliation.

What that woman did is also inexcusable.

Offcouse any kind of abuse should nt be tolerated. But many women are gud at that and its not every man can stand that (dare a man hmm..)

deols:

These ones should never have gotten married. Are they kids? smh.

My friend called me yestrdy about a girl who wouldn't return to her husband's house after visiting her parents. she'd been married for only one year! and then we talked and talked about similar scenarios we know of.

Children getting married all over the place..and the word, children isn't literal.


*i actually dislike having to rephrase or reinterpret my statements like I have been doing on this thread*

I will soon get tired of this place

I agree these couples should neva hv gotten married. Funny enough these are supposed to be matured couples because the man is someone in his mid 30's and the wife looks like 23-5yr old. And this marriage is not more than 2yr, you see they are supposed to be in honeymoon because its in it early stage. As Uncle Tbb mensioned in his previous post they shnd'nt hav gotten tired of each other.

busar: Beating won't even stop her from nagging/misbehaving in the house.there are several ways to punish a wife /women besides beating/flogging, it will even worsen the situation at hand. The best I will suggest is for the man to keep calm when she's boiling. but when she comes back to her sense he can talk some sense into her dry brain.
A neigbhour of mine was fighting with his wife one day,he was so angered to the extent that he picked a plank to hit his wife but fortunately the plank hit a fellow neighbour that was seperating them on her arm.The poor neighbour suffers the pain for days.
Note:Anything can happen during the fight.I remenbered a day I was trying to seperate a fighting couple,I was hit in the stomach. during the course.

Hahaha...sorry! But that 'hit' should never stop you from separating couples oh! Cause some men can commit murder.

maclatunji: Ok, wife stands at door and blocks husband from going to work? Husband tries to call her "people", wife pounces on his phone and throws it away.

Man has to get to work on time or there will be serious repercussions which could lead to his dismissal.

Husband has tried for wife to reason with him but she won't. What do you think the husband should do in such a situation?

I know Deols and Sissie have answer to this. Where are they?

^You mean murder?

Danmas:
I know Deols and Sissie have answer to this. Where are they?

The question is open to everyone including you.

deols:

dont mind him

How are you btw

am good sis and u

maclatunji: Ok, wife stands at door and blocks husband from going to work? Husband tries to call her "people", wife pounces on his phone and throws it away.

Man has to get to work on time or there will be serious repercussions which could lead to his dismissal.

Husband has tried for wife to reason with him but she won't. What do you think the husband should do in such a situation?

He might push her out of the way but what if she holds on to his ironed office clothes. He now has to change clothes. Gets to work late, gets a query.

May Allah grant us the best spouse.

deols:

arghhh.sorry o.

Didnt mean to insult you.
I will not joke with you again. bye

maclatunji: Ok, wife stands at door and blocks husband from going to work? Husband tries to call her "people", wife pounces on his phone and throws it away.

Man has to get to work on time or there will be serious repercussions which could lead to his dismissal.

Husband has tried for wife to reason with him but she won't. What do you think the husband should do in such a situation?

hmmmm, the husby should just take it easy with the wife and try to tease her , and if that doesn't work both should stay indoor then

maclatunji: Ok, wife stands at door and blocks husband from going to work? Husband tries to call her "people", wife pounces on his phone and throws it away.

Man has to get to work on time or there will be serious repercussions which could lead to his dismissal.

Husband has tried for wife to reason with him but she won't. What do you think the husband should do in such a situation?

Start begging her.. ...Just got to do the needful.A little hit will do
But if the husband was the type that don't beat his wife,that little would made her come to her senses in sha Allah.

maclatunji: ^You mean murder?

yes, thanx.

tbaba1234:

He might push her out of the way but what if she holds on to his ironed office clothes. He now has to change clothes. Gets to work late, gets a query.

May Allah grant us the best spouse.

agree, a simple push can do. Ameen.

I raised this question because I wanted to see if the majority of posters here are living in "Lalaland".

I agree many men are monsters and treat their wives in the most despicable of ways. However, the important thing to note is that not all men are like that. Hence, it is not realistic to say that every man that gets physical with his wife is a deranged animal. Some men are abused to the point of retaliation. Yes, I said abused.

In the example I gave, locking the door and not allowing her husband get to work on time is unlawful detention.

Pushing the phone out of his hand thereby smashing it is borderline assault.

I am not here to justify violence against anybody. However, I advice women not to push the limits in their relationship with their husbands because they might come out worse off and not have sympathy from family, friends, neighbours, the law and God himself.

God is not with transgressors and will not be unjust to his creatures.

This topic reminds me of why I say I want to marry a lady- even in anger, she will maintain her decency.

Like tbaba said, may Allah grant us the best spouses. (Ameen)

busar: Start begging her.. ...Just got to do the needful.A little hit will do
But if the husband was the type that don't beat his wife,that little would made her come to her senses in sha Allah.

Is it now normal to classify men into
a. those who beat their wives
b.those who don't beat their wives

argh!! when I thought we made progress

Some people will even get married with the thought that they would beat their wife if she misbehaves. Words like 'misbehave' and 'punishment' is frequent in their vocabulary.

What is my own?

I can only be bothered about the greater good of the society. Children who watch their father beat their mother can never be normal. I only pity those Children.

I can't be bothered about the He-whatever who is planning to hit or beat his misbehaving wife. I can bother much less about the female(drum) who thinks being beaten is normal.


The question to ask is, so the man got annoyed and decides to beat her. Would it be ok that she beats him when she gets annoyed as well?

deols:

Is it now normal to classify men into
a. those who beat their wives
b.those who don't beat their wives

argh!! when I thought we made progress

Some people will even get married with the thought that they would beat their wife if she misbehaves. Words like 'misbehave' and 'punishment' is frequent in their vocabulary.

What is my own?

I can only be bothered about the greater good of the society. Children who watch their father beat their mother can never be normal. I only pity those Children.

I can't be bothered about the He-whatever who is planning to hit or beat his misbehaving wife. I can bother much less about the female(drum) who thinks being beaten is normal.


The question to ask is, so the man got annoyed and decides to beat her. Would it be ok that she beats him when she gets annoyed as well?

Not what you are thinking sister. That should be the last resort. Just a soft push/hit in o, not the one you are used to

@deols,did you read mac's post at all

SMH so stopping a man from going out and breaking his phone is now enough reason to get beaten!!!!!
How dare she, she should be beaten to the extent she would have to be treated in the hospital next time ko ni dan wo.

Where do this people come from, better people living in dream land than indirect domestic violence supporters.

Sissie: SMH so stopping a man from going out and breaking his phone is now enough reason to get beaten!!!!!
How dare she, she should be beaten to the extent she would have to be treated in the hospital next time ko ni dan wo.

Where do this people come from, better people living in dream land than indirect domestic violence supporters.

you are missing something here

@deols we live in a violent society. People abusing each other.

Some men who are not yet married think its oK to beat their wives as a corrective measure.
Some women think so too.

If its ok t physically abuse a woman when angry, then its ok for a woman to nag/shout at him too, and emotionally abuse him when she's angry.