Sissie:
It's wedding season, attended a wedding the highlight was the polo tournament organized by the groom's friend, last week it was so much fun, my friends and I talked about getting married and stuff, so am at the phase where I feel like getting married like right now.

Weddings are something else these days. They are like carnivals. Very interesting to attend. I make sure I attend everyone I am invited to when available.


Being the bride is something else

Sissie:

There is a moment 1.5, between moments 1 and 2.

Are we confused?!

Are you?

Mathematically speaking, 1.5 is not halfway of 2. So you kinda missed it. 1.5 is halfway of 3.

I will class myself as the guy in moment "3".

3. Women Future Moment: "He is complex beyond our understanding and we missed many of his points in our quest to prove our strength and worth which he already understands and appreciates."

It's been fun, I have to go now.

onegig:

No worries. A always a firm believer of it being sweet and enjoyable.

But dont go locking "him" indoors

hahhhahahah

I won't ever do such a thing. I am too proud for such silly behaviour.

If the matter don reach the level that a grown up man does not know when to stay at home and when not anymore, I'll just free myself. what nonsense.

I won't police anybody when I have a life of my own to live. i dont think marriage is about locking onto each other. I am sure I'd be having things to run and wouldn't be locking myself with a man in the house.

Sissie:

Not manly at all.

Not ladylike also to lock him in.

Ladies are known to be meek and gentle.


Am not excusing physical abuse from any party but "locking him in" is also an abuse.

We can all just yap and talk. Seriously, it is not easy keeping calm and stuff. But never hit your spouse and the ladies should also never lock him in . There are better ways of managing your differences.

onegig:

Not ladylike also to lock him in.

Ladies are known to be meek and gentle.


Am not excusing physical abuse from any party but "locking him in" is also an abuse.

We can all just yap and talk. Seriously, it is not easy keeping calm and stuff. But never hit your spouse and the ladies should also never lock him in . There are better ways of managing your differences.

That is the point all along. There is no excuse for either behaviour.

If the man can beat her if she wrongs him, it must mean that she can also inflict injury when he hurts her.

How can such a marriage make sense?

deols:

Weddings are something else these days. They are like carnivals. Very interesting to attend. I make sure I attend everyone I am invited to when available.


Being the bride is something else

Good.........I hope you recipocate the gesture and invite us.

I am itching to meet that tall, dark lucky guy . May God make it a reality soon.

maclatunji:

Mathematically speaking, 1.5 is not halfway of 2. So you kinda missed it. 1.5 is halfway of 3.

I will class myself as the guy in moment "3".

3. Women Future Moment: "He is complex beyond our understanding and we missed many of his points in our quest to prove our strength and worth which he already understands and appreciates."

It's been fun, I have to go now.

Your not that smart at all. Where did I state that 1.5 is halfway of 2 that you had to mention 3. I said 1.5 is BETWEEN 1 and 2, not the half of 2 or 1. If I have to explain what that means, it means your IQ is far below.

Beyond our understanding? Prove strength and worth to who you!!!!! Bwahahaha, your just hilarious, oh my.

Prove strength Bwahahaha.

maclatunji: Ok, wife stands at door and blocks husband from going to work? Husband tries to call her "people", wife pounces on his phone and throws it away.

Man has to get to work on time or there will be serious repercussions which could lead to his dismissal.

Husband has tried for wife to reason with him but she won't. What do you think the husband should do in such a situation?

Drag or beat her (if it gets to that) out of the way to save her and the rest of the family from piercing hunger, then come back home to correct her and beg her, giving her the reason why you have no other option.

Seriously, women can be that frustrating and I seen some number of incidents when you may feel like spanking the wife for the husband. But at times husbands may just be left with only one option.

onegig:

Not ladylike also to lock him in.

Ladies are known to be meek and gentle.


Am not excusing physical abuse from any party but "locking him in" is also an abuse.

We can all just yap and talk. Seriously, it is not easy keeping calm and stuff. But never hit your spouse and the ladies should also never lock him in . There are better ways of managing your differences.

Like deols said, that's the point.
There's no excuse for either behaviour.

True.

deols:

Weddings are something else these days. They are like carnivals. Very interesting to attend. I make sure I attend everyone I am invited to when available.


Being the bride is something else

Yep like carnivals so colourful. Yes.

Being a bride is another different experience.

maclatunji:

This got me laughing. Do not mind me but some of the sentiments that prevail here when there is "peace and harmony" are #Naive #Impractical #Unreliable #Dangerous... I am sure you get the picture.

Every action film needs a bad guy. Apparently, I am the one in this film. #Hehehe

Okay i get it. But the bad guy does not really fit you.

Getting you too much frenemies and also its like you are over acting it.

You dont wanna see a mob of ladies carrying stick and chasing you for "advocating" they get beaten for locking their husbands in.

Can a married women leave her husband's to her her parent's house due to I'll treatment from the husband without his permission?
Note:let give responce without sentiment please.

onegig:

You dont wanna see a mob of ladies carry stick and chasing you for "advocating" they get beat for locking their husbands in.

busar: Can a married women leave her husband's to her her parent's house due to I'll treatment from the husband without his permission?
Note:let give responce without sentiment please.

Would you ask for permission to go free or escape from someone who's inflicting pains on you ?

Sorry am using naija method of answering questions.

busar: Can a married women leave her husband's to her her parent's house due to I'll treatment from the husband without his permission?
Note:let give responce without sentiment please.

This is a fiqh issue and beyond our scope.

Ordinarily, she needs to seek permission but this is a special scenario of abuse.

tbaba1234:

This is a fiqh issue and beyond our scope.

Ordinarily, she needs to seek permission but this is a special scenario of abuse.

I thought as much. Because the husband at that point has lost the position of head of the house and protector of his family.

His rights over her is limited and i don't think the normal routine CAN be applicable here.

onegig:

I thought as much. Because the husband at that point has lost the position of head of the house and protector of his family.

His rights over her is limited and i don't think the normal routine CAN be applicable here.

I think so too

tbaba1234:

This is a fiqh issue and beyond our scope.

Ordinarily, she needs to seek permission but this is a special scenario of abuse.

This is exactly what I know of.
I was discussing with a muslimah(married) one day and she made mention of brothers hiding their true character from the sister.But she would get to know his true character afterward.
I think/know that she(the sister) is experiencing the same thing.
Question: how can you know the true character of someone without courtship before marriage?

onegig:

Good.........I hope you recipocate the gesture and invite us.

I am itching to meet that tall, dark lucky guy . May God make it a reality soon.

hahaha

golpen:


Drag or beat her (if it gets to that) out of the way to save her and the rest of the family from piercing hunger, then come back home to correct her and beg her, giving her the reason why you have no other option.

Seriously, women can be that frustrating and I seen some number of incidents when you may feel like spanking the wife for the husband. But at times husbands may just be left with only one option.

Only In Nigeria.

drag or beat her like she is a cow

**
Y am I still posting on this ehn

onegig:

I thought as much. Because the husband at that point has lost the position of head of the house and protector of his family.

His rights over her is limited and i don't think the normal routine CAN be applicable here.

His right over her ain't unlimited before. But I think he still have the same rights he had before.
But if the lady is tired of the marriage,she can simply tell him to release(divorce) her .

I think the most important elements of a successful marriage are as follows:

I. Humility- Many people find it so hard to say sorry. They can not bring themselves to do it. There are many times, you will have to swallow your pride on account of your spouse.

Ii. Forgiveness- One of the hardest thing to do is letting go. Couples keep bringing up what happened years ago when they argue. Reopening old wounds is not healthy.

Iii. Openness: This is harder for men because women are naturally more open plus a man feels vulnerable if he is too open. It is ok to be vulnerable if you marry a good woman.

busar: This is exactly what I know of.
I was discussing with a muslimah(married) one day and she made mention of brothers hiding their true character from the sister.But she would get to know his true character afterward.
I think/know that she(the sister) is experiencing the same thing.
Question: how can you know the true character of someone without courtship before marriage?

The pre-marital period should be used to find out as much as you can. Even before making a formal proposal, find out as much as you can.

It can not be perfect but know enough.

tbaba1234: I think the most important elements of a successful marriage are as follows:


Iii. Openness: This is harder for men because women are naturally more open plus a man feels vulnerable if he is too open. It is ok to be vulnerable if you marry a good woman.

That third part is wht am scared of mostly. I am ready to be as open and friendly as possibe. I want to be vulnerable, to be able to say sorry and accept that i make mistakes but MOST adies have that warped mindset of taking advantage of such a person. They have been built up to see the man as someone who's "strong", domineering, makes no mistakes and even if he does its her fault and they tend to take men who do otherwise as less of a man turning such "rare and scarce" men into the ferocious type who barks orders from the top of the house.

double post

busar: His right over her ain't unlimited before. But I think he still have the same rights he had before.
But if the lady is tired of the marriage,she can simply tell him to release(divorce) her .

Wht about if she doesnt want to seek divorce?

What of she wants a change in him?


Is it not someone who comes out unscathed that would seek divorce?

Might not be physical ill treatment it might be emotional abuse or lack of care?

Be realistic, Which man would accent to his wife returning to her parents because of maltreatment?

If she asks and he declines her request but the ill treatment continues. What happens?

Sissie:

Your not that smart at all. Where did I state that 1.5 is halfway of 2 that you had to mention 3. I said 1.5 is BETWEEN 1 and 2, not the half of 2 or 1. If I have to explain what that means, it means your IQ is far below.

Beyond our understanding? Prove strength and worth to who you!!!!! Bwahahaha, your just hilarious, oh my.

Prove strength Bwahahaha.

And you did not figure-out that I deliberately ignored your error because a moment either exist or it doesn't. It is either 0 or 1.

There is nothing like a half-moment, same reason I created a 3rd moment. Old girl, you are too one-directional...still trying to prove something. #Typical

onegig:

That third part is wht am scared of mostly. I am ready to be as open and friendly as possibe. I want to be vulnerable, to be able to say sorry and accept that i make mistakes but MOST adies have that warped mindset of taking advantage of such a person. They have been built up to see the man as someone who's "strong", domineering, makes no mistakes and even if he does its her fault and they tend to take men who do otherwise as less of a man turning such "rare and scarce" men into the ferocious type who barks orders from the top of the house.

I don't know of MOST ladies. But I do know that one thing That I appreciate in a partner is openness.

I know a very good person whose decline to be 'vulnerable' is the problem.

I can't live with someone who would not share everything with me.

You might just be surprised that MAny women appreciate that trait.

onegig:

Okay i get it. But the bad guy does not really fit you.

Getting you too much frenemies and also its like you are over acting it.

You dont wanna see a mob of ladies carry stick and chasing you for "advocating" they get beaten for locking their husbands in.

I fear ladies may brag their way into trouble. How many young single ladies boasted that their marriage would be perfect, only for them to find the opposite after tying the knot?

No be we men? Promise heaven and earth before marriage and then transform after the wedding.

By the way, this is a forum not a personal blog? If you don't want your ideas contested and/or challenged, please don't post and be a reader.

onegig:

Wht about if she doesnt want to seek divorce?

What of she wants a change in him?


Is it not someone who comes out unscathed that would seek divorce?

Might not be physical ill treatment it might be emotional abuse or lack of care?

Be realistic, Which man would accent to his wife returning to her parents because of maltreatment?

If she asks and he declines her request but the ill treatment continues. What happens?

She can go to sharia council for the divorce if he declined. But if she didn't want to divorce him,she can then invite the third party if it persist.

busar: She can go to sharia council for the divorce if he declined. But if she didn't want to divorce him,she can then invite the third party if it persist.

What if he grounds her?

Even a governor did that to his wife.

And if she is suffering and could die from his beating, she should leave.

What is that list of what you must protect?
1. Religion
2. lives
3. cant remember.

Her life is more sacred than the marriage institution.

onegig:

That third part is wht am scared of mostly. I am ready to be as open and friendly as possibe. I want to be vulnerable, to be able to say sorry and accept that i make mistakes but MOST adies have that warped mindset of taking advantage of such a person. They have been built up to see the man as someone who's "strong", domineering, makes no mistakes and even if he does its her fault and they tend to take men who do otherwise as less of a man turning such "rare and scarce" men into the ferocious type who barks orders from the top of the house.

I do agree some women tend to take advantage of such men, men do too.
It depends on the type of person you meet, if you want someone who appreciates openness, their are people who do. You just need to find one.
May Allah (SWT) grant us the best spouse.