JimD:
You both have baggages you are sweeping under the rug. You raise children to tow the same line and drop your own loads of BS on them. Don't marry until you're sure you actually love yourself. You can't actually love someone else. So what you can do is commit or not commit... I wrote something on girls with daddy issues and any guy in relationship should read it.

Pls where did u write it? I would like to read.

Zyxsc:
1. For a man, it's just a bills-paying institution. You go pay bills sotey you go forget wetin carry you enter the marriage in the first place

2. Enjoy your bachelorhood Wella before going into it. 40 is not too late for a man to get married.

3. You can't prove you're mentally strong until you're married because na then you go know what it takes to retrain an adult child like your wife. She go do some kain things wey be say, e fit make you go crazy.

4. If you can avoid it, please do. It's not worth it. Once you're married, you'll loose a part of your freedom. You can only regain it at the detriment of your home.

5. Don't go into marriage because of children. They may grow up and not make you happy by going against your wish (of course, they have their own lives to live. You've lived yours). Don't go into marriage because you love your girlfriend. Na this one go clear your eyes pass. Go into marriage because you want a life-long friend. Even at that, it's still a gamble. E fit shock you 10 years down the line.

Some of us married our very own foes and only found out the hard way.

easzypeaszy:
Dat married women love seex more dan married men.
Althoght the man has tendency to do it outside but fr house if u wan nack ur wife 10X she go dey spread leg like bread n butter

you don see finish from experience.

Happily ever after is Work in progress not a place

franchasofficia:
Generally, women love sex more than men, it is the fear of unwanted pregnancy, societal pressure, image/character-shaming, religious doctrines that force women to tame their sexual urge till they get married. Once a woman gets married, she unleashes the sexual demon in her; she is ready to have sex on a daily basis, especially if she marries a man she adores.
Women (majority) believe in getting sex within their marriage, while men (majority) believe in getting sex from everywhere

Truer words have not been spoken. I'm exactly 2 months a married man and babygirl wan kee me. It's a real case of unleashing the sexual demon. It's almost like all the dishes she makes she collects in the other room. It's bliss so far. Glory to GOD.

Sex is actually overrated. You get tired of it eventually and just have to have it to keep the marriage going. Nobody does 5 rounds of sex in marriage unless you are on drugs or have a problem. Sex is only about 10% of marriage, if not less. There's so much more important things in marriage than sex. But before you marry, you always think it's everything.

Ok

BirtherOfKings:
JESUS CHRIST..are there still wise human beings like u? This one is Holy Spirit revelation. God bless u and good morning

Good morning to you, thank you for your refreshing comment here but I want you to know there is no wisdom in men that out weighs that which is found in the Bible as revealed by the holy spirit. Stay blessed and once again, thank you.

chccho:

40 is not to old for a man to marry ke!!! Wetin go remain for him body

Perhaps our views of marriage are different. By the way, what do you mean by, "wetin go remain for him body?" Do you mean his strength would have wane to an all-time low?

EriMma1:

Tell that to your sisters.

They are all married

@seun, please create a bookmark option for threads na. About time you add some useful functions to this site.

Ajehkpako4naija:
While enjoying your bachelor hood u should also know the clock is ticking. Getting married at 40 is already a no no. Imagine going for school run at 52, when ur mates are already aspiring grandpa's. When u get old ur kids may still be in year 2 in d University

You can have your babies outside the confines of marriage, my brother. Just be present in their lives as they grow up and choose a morally upright baby mama.

Marriage is hard
Being single is hard
Being a single mother or father is hard
Being divorced is hard
You must choose your hard.

I am married and it’s the best decision I ever made. Just make sure you marry the right person and be ready to work together, everything else just happens naturally.

The irony is that, I have better savings now compared to when I was single. When I was single, I was wasting money on different ladies at the club, restaurants, and urgent 2k. I tested different kinds of ladies just to feel good as a young man. But in the end, I felt so empty!

Marriage is like your own business, you choose how to run it to be profitable. Anybody that says marriage is a scam is still a child.

I was at the hospital once and I saw a couple in their 60s walked in. Obviously, the man was sick and it was the wife that drove him to the hospital. I observed how the wife was running around for the lab tests and other administrative tasks. One thing came to my mind, what if this man was not married? What if the wife was no longer alive? It rang in my head that day the importance of a good spouse….lifelong companion especially at old age.

Also, in another instance, I got to know a certain wealthy family, but divorced. The man was a US based Doctor but relocated to Nigeria…..Guess what? No wife, no children living in his big mansion, except domestic staff. Out of depression, the man has developed a mental disorder. The painful thing is that, even the man’s siblings don’t have time to spend with him. His massive hospital has turn to a deserted hospital.

Just marry right and you will have the best years of your life. But be ready to support, groom, nurture, and inspire each other.

chccho:

Pls where did u write it? I would like to read.

check my profile

Amalekki:

School runs at 52 may actually be fun and make you feel young instead of feeling like old man grandpa. There are two sides to every coin.

I don't know why people just compare their lives with everyone . Sme will be grandpa at 52 , some wilbe husbands at 52, some will get married at 52 . All these unhealthy competitions is what makes people feel societal pressure and unhappiness .

SaLongs1:
Some of us married our very own foes and only found out the hard way.

Women don't settle for less and in addition, most wouldn't stay for worse, only for better. As a man, that should be your mindset. If your woman do one kain and you're financially stable, stay far away from her as much as possible but win over your children.

There are times u might need to tolerate nonsense so dat peace can reign in d house

My book on marriage shall soon be on Amazon, it answers all your marriage question!

Manson1:
Things nobody may tell you about marriage:

1) At some point in marriage, love may fade, you will only need commitment to survive. Especially when your partner changes from the person you knew initially.

2) As a woman, enjoy your single life now because when you marry, you will let go of certain lifestyle and enjoyment because of kids and family responsibilities.

3) As a man, when you marry , you must let go of certain life for your family reputation and integrity.

4) Attraction Wanes. This is one of the things nobody tells you about marriage. Even if you marry the most beautiful woman or a handsome man, one fine day, the attraction is sure to wane.You may feel that your partner is no longer attractive or your partner may feel the same about you. But still, the marriage can survive when you fall inlove with your partner's soul, not just the body.

4) Your in-laws are not your friends. Relate with them with caution.

5) You can stay many months without séx because of responsibilities.

6) Marriage is work, you work to make it work.

7) You need to forgive because you will always be offended.

8.) Childbirth can change your physical look or cause damage to your body. A successful child delivery is a miracle

9) If you marry someone who feels he or she is too good for you, you will suffer. The person will always make you feel less, like you're privileged to marry him/her

10) If you're a career driven person, marry a supportive partner, Marry someone who is eager to aspire. If you marry unsupportive partner or someone who settles for status quo, you will suffer alot

Cc; Walshak Kos

Let's hear from the married folks

abobote:
You will never know the true colour of a woman while dating.

The period my wife refused to serve me food for one good week, even when I'm the only one providing for the family financial. That's when I knew that some women we call wives are mean

Wetin you the woman? I find it intriguing she just decided not to serve you food for ONE WEEK.

Just try get money.
It'll help.

Number 4. Take note

AlphaHakimi:




Men should learn to live their lives FREELY AND WITHOUT ANY FORM OF COMFORMITY.

In marriage, men want to be polygamous. The problem of the black race is that we accept every form of indoctrination from the white man.

Let me Enlighten you. Do you know our customs are superior to test of the white man?. Do you know that the ancient form of democracy practiced in Eastern Nigeria is superior to the type of democracy brought to us by the white man. Do you know that our marriages and family values are better than the white man's own?.

We just want to imitate the white man and throw away our own values.

When feminism began in the 19th century in America, it was designed to liberate women from societal operation. This means that the society was responsible for oppressing women. This struggle led to the Civil rights acts.


I will talk more about this later.
Shalom

All actions have their own consequences my dear brother..
If everyone tried to live their lives freely without any form of conformity, then I put it to you that the world be so full of chaos that not even a single specie would be spared to live....

You talked about Men being polygamous, have you considered that women hate polygamy, given the jealousy, hatred, rivalry and many other problems it breeds...

How then do you create a balance btw what men and women love and despise at the same time in order to ensure a peaceful coexistence....

You talk about our values being superior to that of the white, if indeed it was, why are we very quick to discard and thrash ours, given that an average human recognises value..

Why are the blacks quick to imitate the white man's culture and not vice versa..
Talking about living lives freely without any form of conformity, the Whites helped us achieved this to an extent..

It was terrible in the olden days where our cultures laid siege on the women.. Women were not allowed to do certain things , many of which were against their own free wills, our culture literarily enslaved women to the advantages of the men.....

My brother free will is not free at the end of the day.....

AlphaHakimi:




My brother,

The reason why I always say that this present day marriage does not favour men is because of VALUE.
Now you may want to know what I mean by value. Value is the worth attached to something. Men do not marry a woman because she can provide. Men do not marry because a woman can protect. Men marry unconditionally. This is why men love unconditionally. This love is akin to the kind of Love Jesus has for us. It is an unconditional love. This is why a man can marry a poor, illiterate, village girl and bring her to the city and change her life and the life of her family forever without asking for anything in return.

On the other hand, women marry on the condition that you provide something. You provide, protect, lead etc. If you're unable to do these things, they will say "he is not yet matured for marriage"

Now as a man, as you age, your value as a marriage able man increases. On the other hand, as a woman ages, her value as a marriage able woman decreases.
This is why women hate polygamy. They know that when you are ready to practice polygamy, they will no longer be among those you will truly want. This is why they are against polygamy. People may argue that women can also decide to practice polyandry but it will not favour them because once they clock 50yrs their husband's will look for someone younger.

The only natural requirement for a man to get married according to nature is if he can impregnate a women. Women are the once attaching other things like provision, protection etc.

So ask yourself this question, why would you stick with one woman when your value increases. Why stay in such bondage. When women had the womanly value, they had several partners and that was when they think the whole world revolves around them. But when it's your turn to have the whole world around your finger tip, women would now want you to be monogamous.

The purest form of unconditional love you can ever get from a woman is that of your Mother. She is the only woman that can love you unconditionally and that is the kind of live men seek from their wives.

Do not come here to tell me I have sisters or a mother. I JUST WANT TO REMIND YOU THAT YOUR MOTHER IS YOUR FATHERS WIFE AND HENCE SHE WILL MANIPULATE HIM BUT SHE WILL LOVE YOU. YOUR SISTERS WILL MANIPULATE THEIR HUSBANDS BUT THEY WILL LOVE YOU.


SO THE TYPE OF MANIPULATION YOU WILL GET FROM WOMEN DEPENDS 100% ON YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM.

Manipulation is relatively depends on individual. Them no de manipulate me. I grew up with 5 ladies. So I Sabi women die. When I started making money, them de call me everyday. My brothers no de call me at all. But I spend on my brothers more. Some will tell me please don't tell this person that you gave me money, the next day I will tell the person. It's my money, you can tell me what to do when I give you money. Women manipulation has never worked on me. My mum call me every week. My dad call me 6 times a year. But if I want to send them money. I will send my mum half of anything I send to my dad. Reason being that she will still have it from my dad. #let them man be the man.
And I also believe the way u treat your dad is the way your son will treat you. Never make him feel less, in as much as he played his role very well. Though I'm very stubborn boy , n my people know that, they can tell me what to do unless I see a good reason for that.

AlphaHakimi:
Marriage is the most critically crafted institution that is designed to control the behaviour of humans and ensure the controlled existence of mankind.

Please note that I used the word "control" in order to truly explain the nature of marriage. This is because, there is nothing you can achieve within Marriage that cannot be achieved outside of marriage for men.
Just name one thing you can achieve within the confines of marriage that you cannot achieve outside marriage.

Animals don't get married but yet they sustain the existence of their species.

Every factor that made you as a man go into marriage will become irrelevant after one year of marriage.

Now if you are saddled with this fact as a man, why don't you make marriage transactional just as women do?.

Don't settle for less. You're a MAN for goodness sake. Don't date or marry any girl who is poor or from a poor background. Any day the marriage stops serving your purpose please LEAVE because your wife will leave you any day you stop serving her purpose. Your children no matter their age will understand once they get older.

This is why women love marriage.
1) If she gets married at 25 years of age, she is sure that all things being equal, you as a man will provide for her until she gets to 55years of age. By that time, she must have had an adult who will continue where you stop.

2) By 55years of age, your children will begin to think that their mother was the ONLY parent that suffered to raise them. They forget all the hardwork, insults and humiliation you had to endure to provide.

3) She secures a guardian, protector, companion, sexual exclusivity etc all to your own detriment.

Finally, don't be decieved about marriage as a man. It is a money-milking institution designed to ensure women survive this harsh world. DONT LIVE YOUR LIFE FOR THE SURVIVAL OF WOMEN, LIVE FREE AND LIVE WELL.

Shalom

What about those women that lost their husbands with many kids?

Zyxsc:


Perhaps our views of marriage are different. By the way, what do you mean by, "wetin go remain for him body?" Do you mean his strength would have wane to an all-time low?

As he gets older Yes he's waning too!! U can't compare the strength of Man when he was btw 18 - 27/28 to a man above 35yrs. Most athletes have retired before 35 not to talk of 40. The man cant fire on all cylinders the way he used to in those early years cos his body is changing too
To make matters worse the world we live in today is totally different coupled with all the stress, lifestyle and social vices. It's advisable to start earlier

I swear down bro.

[quote author=AlphaHakimi post=124430510]



My brother,

The reason why I always say that this present day marriage does not favour men is because of VALUE.
Now you may want to know what I mean by value. Value is the worth attached to something. Men do not marry a woman because she can provide. Men do not marry because a woman can protect. Men marry unconditionally. This is why men love unconditionally. This love is akin to the kind of Love Jesus has for us. It is an unconditional love. This is why a man can marry a poor, illiterate, village girl and bring her to the city and change her life and the life of her family forever without asking for anything in return.

On the other hand, women marry on the condition that you provide something. You provide, protect, lead etc. If you're unable to do these things, they will say "he is not yet matured for marriage"

Now as a man, as you age, your value as a marriage able man increases. On the other hand, as a woman ages, her value as a marriage able woman decreases.
This is why women hate polygamy. They know that when you are ready to practice polygamy, they will no longer be among those you will truly want. This is why they are against polygamy. People may argue that women can also decide to practice polyandry but it will not favour them because once they clock 50yrs their husband's will look for someone younger.

The only natural requirement for a man to get married according to nature is if he can impregnate a women. Women are the once attaching other things like provision, protection etc.

So ask yourself this question, why would you stick with one woman when your value increases. Why stay in such bondage. When women had the womanly value, they had several partners and that was when they think the whole world revolves around them. But when it's your turn to have the whole world around your finger tip, women would now want you to be monogamous.

The purest form of unconditional love you can ever get from a woman is that of your Mother. She is the only woman that can love you unconditionally and that is the kind of live men seek from their wives.

Do not come here to tell me I have sisters or a mother. I JUST WANT TO REMIND YOU THAT YOUR MOTHER IS YOUR FATHERS WIFE AND HENCE SHE WILL MANIPULATE HIM BUT SHE WILL LOVE YOU. YOUR SISTERS WILL MANIPULATE THEIR HUSBANDS BUT THEY WILL LOVE YOU.


SO THE TYPE OF MANIPULATION YOU WILL GET FROM WOMEN DEPENDS 100% ON YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM.[/quotes]
A man is meant to be a provider. But situation of things has changed, people know go for a career women. Due to gender equality and women emancipation, Women are mostly employed than men this days. During our fathers time , men are mostly employed than ladies .Women can not submit to you 100 when she contributes financially. This days marriage doesn't last bcus women contribute financially when the men wants submission. Some men are not even trying, a woman will come back from work and you expect her to serve you. When her wellbeing should be your priority.
Things has changed, so embrace it they way it is. Me I can marry a poor lady, I don't know of you. I detest poverty with all my life. I have been there so I'm not ready to associate with anything poor. I lost interest in a lady that told me her phone is bad and she can't fix it, I Lost interest in her bcus she told me their fidge at home is bad n de don't have money to fix it. I lost interest in her when she told me her father and mother give birth to 8 children and are retired civil servants. I have lost a lot of ladies bcus of their condition. So me I love conditionally. If you want love unconditionally. U can go to osun village and see a lady in a farm and marry her. That's life for you.
I always tell people to speak for themselves. Not all men love unconditionally. So men love like women. When my best friend who was a medical doctor wanted to marry, he was searching for a femal doctor, not even a nurse.

Zyxsc:
1. For a man, it's just a bills-paying institution. You go pay bills sotey you go forget wetin carry you enter the marriage in the first place

2. Enjoy your bachelorhood Wella before going into it. 40 is not too late for a man to get married.

3. You can't prove you're mentally strong until you're married because na then you go know what it takes to retrain an adult child like your wife. She go do some kain things wey be say, e fit make you go crazy.

4. If you can avoid it, please do. It's not worth it. Once you're married, you'll loose a part of your freedom. You can only regain it at the detriment of your home.

5. Don't go into marriage because of children. They may grow up and not make you happy by going against your wish (of course, they have their own lives to live. You've lived yours). Don't go into marriage because you love your girlfriend. Na this one go clear your eyes pass. Go into marriage because you want a life-long friend. Even at that, it's still a gamble. E fit shock you 10 years down the line.

. Are you married? You're a genius.

You fit wear 1 shoe for 5 years.

Zyxsc:


Women don't settle for less and in addition, most wouldn't stay for worse, only for better. As a man, that should be your mindset. If your woman do one kain and you're financially stable, stay far away from her as much as possible but win over your children.

I might agree with you on all but the "settling for less" part. You are assuming that they have gone on to greener pastures which has been proven to be totally illusional.

Tonnyray:
Truer words have not been spoken. I'm exactly 2 months a married man and babygirl wan kee me. It's a real case of unleashing the sexual demon. It's almost like all the dishes she makes she collects in the other room. It's bliss so far. Glory to GOD.

I really can't blame them for "unleashing the dragon tho" because a lot of responsible, decent ladies kept themselves till marriage and so they have been so sexually starved that once they get into marriage it's gonna be a marathon.
As long as the woman is giving u peace and happiness pls let her satisfy her sexual urges and fantasies.
Congratulations!!