Can A Married Woman Have A Male Best Friend? - Romance (5) - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Can A Married Woman Have A Male Best Friend? (13461 Views)
6 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Let Your Girl Have A Male Best Friend / Male Best Friend Or Girlfriend:who Should Sit On The Passanger Sit? / ~My Male Best Friend Wants More . . . ~ (2) (3) (4)
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (Reply) (Go Down)
| Re: Can A Married Woman Have A Male Best Friend? by Nobody: 4:42pm On Oct 14, 2011 |
[size=14pt]^^^ Define Best friend!  Now when you have defined a best friend, Define a Male best friend, for someone who is married! And then tell me those complains you run to your male best friend with, that you cannot trash out with your husband as a couple!. . .And why! Trust me to reply!  [/size] |
| Re: Can A Married Woman Have A Male Best Friend? by pendo89(f): 4:48pm On Oct 14, 2011 |
^^ Define a mentor! now when you have defined one,define his role in an individual's life regardless of sex. Then tell me where its written that its only your husband or wife who is fit to be a mentor. Not everybody can mentor even if you share a close relationship with them. Your mentor can help you become a better person in whichever relationship you are in.They are not destroyers or competitors but builders. Trust me to reply |
| Re: Can A Married Woman Have A Male Best Friend? by Nobody: 4:52pm On Oct 14, 2011 |
[size=14pt]Can a mentor be your best friend? Is this mentor a professional mentor? or a Make up mentor? Is he married? Does he know about married life? Does your husband approve? What exactly do you discuss with an adviser?[/size] |
| Re: Can A Married Woman Have A Male Best Friend? by oswardic(m): 5:03pm On Oct 14, 2011 |
SEXKILLZ You are the man! Please tell her the truth! She knows, shes just playing around, I am sure about that. Just pulling all of our legs NAYAH Please answer my question, just as sexkillz too have asked, what is it you will be having with the so call male best friend. Let me advice you, Most of us here dropping message on this thread are male and we are telling you what we CANT for any reason accept. Take it or leave it, we are helping you. PENDO89 Mentor? holy Jesus, do you understand what the word mentor means? How will a woman make a man her mentor? tell me you're joking lol, Or can you be a female musician and yet a male is your mentor? Abegi! |
| Re: Can A Married Woman Have A Male Best Friend? by Nobody: 5:12pm On Oct 14, 2011 |
oswardic: [size=14pt]You gave that advice with quintuplicated swagger!. . .[/size]  |
| Re: Can A Married Woman Have A Male Best Friend? by pendo89(f): 5:16pm On Oct 14, 2011 |
sexkillz: can a mentor be a best friend?>> yes.he/she can Professional mentor?>> Either, He is a wise or trusted teacher/educationist or counselor Make up mentor?>> Well not an okada mentor of course. Not everybody can be one remember.Am able to filter. Know am married?>> Of course. He must have been a friend probably for long even before I got married. What if he helped counsel me before marriage? do I cut off the relationship because status changed? What if my mentor is Richard branson or bill gates? Husband approve?>> I believe its proper for couples to know each other's best friends.I would not doubt my hubby if I saw him with a female best friend. Some friendships go as far back as nursery school.They are just platonic. Why should a marriage destroy that? Do you not trust each other enough? Marriage is risky and if a partner decides to cheat he will do so even with the ashewo and not 'his female best friend' whom I may be wary/jealous of. What I dicuss with an adviser?>> lots of stuff.from weather to animals,politics,personal development,career,relationships,anything under the sun |
| Re: Can A Married Woman Have A Male Best Friend? by pendo89(f): 5:19pm On Oct 14, 2011 |
oswardic: Oh God.are you serious? are you telling me that a woman CANNOT HAVE A MAN AS A MENTOR   Well educate me then I think you both need your mind sanctified cz it cant imagine a pure non-sexual relationship btwn male and female. gosh we are not animals! |
| Re: Can A Married Woman Have A Male Best Friend? by Nobody: 5:34pm On Oct 14, 2011 |
pendo89:[size=14pt]What's his age bracket? And is he married?[/size] pendo89:[size=14pt]What i meant by this was, did you meet this so called mentor after you got married? or before you got married? If It was before he is old enough to be your father, and even at that. . .[/size] pendo89:[size=14pt]Richard Branson or Bill Gates? Are you kidding me? Was that a realistic question? Can you categorically state that those names you mentioned would have time for chit chats? And if those two are mentoring you, would it not be in a business trajectory? Would you always be on phone with any of this Men?. . . . Pls GET REAL! Stop cahooting! [/size]pendo89:[size=14pt]Who says a marriage should destroy platonic friendships? and may i remind you that the bone of contention is not Male friendship! But rather, the title, Male Best Friend! Those have different meanings! Mind you, i'm not married, but i keep in touch with my ex classmates who are married, but ONCE in a blue moon! She's married for god's sakes! Why should she delegate her husbands time to a best friend? Marriage is risky? And yet you quadruplicate that risk, by keeping a male best friend, and allowing your husband do the same? Do you really TRUST your treacherous heart to that extent? So you are saying he cant cheat with his female best friend? And what if your Male best friend develops romantic interest in you? Yes you! And how about instances where couples trust themselves so much, and yet CHEAT with their respective best friends, huh?[/size] pendo89: [size=14pt]And why cant you discuss this with your husband? Is he boring you? And your reply here, does it really translate to the meaning of "MENTOR"?[/size] [size=14pt]Una funny die!. . . . I "swearalize!"[/size] |
| Re: Can A Married Woman Have A Male Best Friend? by TY4succex(m): 5:53pm On Oct 14, 2011 |
@Poster No Married woman should attempt to make a male her best friend!!! Her hubby should be her best friend till death do them part otherwise she is like a child putting her hand beside inside fire and expecting the flame not to burn her finger!!!! |
| Re: Can A Married Woman Have A Male Best Friend? by pendo89(f): 5:55pm On Oct 14, 2011 |
I tire o 1. His age is a non issue. what matters is the positive impact he makes on my life. In most cases hes older of course.The been there done that kind. 2.A best friend is somebody you have build a relationship with over a period of time. You share lot in common and have done stuff together(not necc.sexual rel) Its therefore okay to assume that I had a mentor before I got married and am not getting rid of him because my status changed.I still need him if he continues influencing my life in a positive way. My marriage will be stronger if am strong. 3.Okay what is soo strange with having Richard/Ben Carson as mentor? and who told you Richard doesnt chit chat? Can I send you his contact details? you will be amazed at how discombobulated he is. 4. So avoiding male friends is a sure way of ensuring your marriage stays clean? are you even serious? how many married women get involved with male relatives and not even male friends! dont we read that here on nl? You cannot trust your heart but you are not an animal to go sleeping with a guy just because they happen to be close to you. If you cant restrain yourself you have issues. Infact my advise would be,The moment you start 'developing' romantic feelings for your male best friend aka mentor is the moment you need to cut off the relationship. It takes discipline to be able to do that. I can. if you cant, comot. Do couples only cheat with their best friends? Havent you heard of a man who had sexual intercourse with a goat?? oh what about those who mess up relatives or prostitutes? why are you looking at a best friend as a threat? FYI he/she could be the last person your better half would ever think of sleeping with. Respect is enough. |
| Re: Can A Married Woman Have A Male Best Friend? by Nobody: 6:14pm On Oct 14, 2011 |
pendo89:[size=14pt]And Again This isnt about male friends BUT Male BEST FRIENDS! Best friends share everything together, right? So you are willing to call him on phone for hours, go out with him on picnics, he calls you up and asks you to meet him in a specific location, that he has gist for you, and your husband should nod and say "go on dear," because he understands? Tell me something!. . . So because you can discipline yourself, you advocate Male best friends? Hmm!. . . And again, why would you have to discuss your personal intimate private matters of you and your hubby, with an external man/ Male best friend?. . .[/size] |
| Re: Can A Married Woman Have A Male Best Friend? by oswardic(m): 6:34pm On Oct 14, 2011 |
SEXKILLZ Lol, don't mind my typo error, its over zealous that is worrying me , You seems to be typing huge, nawa o, I hope not to have quarrel with you cos I won't be able to catch up with the number of words you can write in a short time PENDO89 Mentor is someone you are aspiring to be like, someone that has climbed the hurdles of experience in which you are to embark on. The truth is that, you can only learn from a female who's in a marriage not a male, males do whats of male in a relationship which is very much different from female's responsibility in a marriage, I hope that answers your question, |
| Re: Can A Married Woman Have A Male Best Friend? by pendo89(f): 6:43pm On Oct 14, 2011 |
ai? for christ's sake oswalz. are you telling me that its criminal for a married woman to have a MALE MENTOR?? You are seriosuly killing me. Lemmie see. A mentor according to the greek mythology is a trusted counselor,a teacher somebody with wisdom.In most cases they are successful and have made an impact in the society. Now that is somebody I would aspire to be like and HAVE AS FRIEND REGARDLESS OF SEX!! If the only mentors I come across are males? do I stay off and keep searching for a female one? get real. I want what is in the mentor [/b]not what is used to package him. I think you are also forgeting that this mentor am referring to is not here to teach me about wifely responsibilities. No.you are missing it.If that was so then I would look out for a female married friend.The mentor is well versed in many things not relationships only. Its the knowledge he has on other issues that makes him a friend. sexkillz:Best friends share everything together, right? So you are willing to call him on phone for hours, go out with him on picnics, he calls you up and asks you to meet him in a specific location, that he has gist for you, and your husband should nod and say "go on dear," because he understands? Tell me something!. . . So because you can discipline yourself, you advocate Male best friends? Hmm!. . . And again, why would you have to discuss your personal intimate private matters of you and your hubby, with an external man/ Male best friend?. . .[/size] Why are you taking it to another level.You see killz what you do with your friends of the opposite sex may not be necessarily what I do. Look here we are discussing a married woman having a male best friend. My rules are simple and laid down. 1.My hubby must be aware of our friendship. 2.He must have known him before we got married and he would therefore have no reason to feel threatened. Even if I happened to meet a good male friend after am married I will still introduce him to my hubby.C'mmon we are not teenagers here and not all men are extremely jealous and posessive. That insecurity is not good because when you start restricting somebody they start acting funny.You push them further and start suspecting things that are not even there. Be open because its not a intimate or romantic relationship.The dude can even come home and we have a bbq.  3.No I don't talk with him for hours on end and go out for picnics alone with him. Remeber this is a married woman here and even if nothing happens there's no way you will convince anybody your hubby included that nothing happened. If you go picnic your hubby must be aware and for testimony sake I would drag a female friend along. Not cz I fear falling ( rem I said there's no romantic feelings here) but only for testimony sake. 4.What personal things are these you keep referring to? you mean intimate matters? No. This is a man who must understand am a married woman and there are boundaries.My intimate life with my hubby should not feature.But hey we can discuss politics ,weather,discombobulations,anything else under the sun except my marriage life. Now do not forget that some of the conversations we hold on a day to day basis have an impact on how we relate with our partners. We can discuss recipes with my male best friend aka mentor and at the end of the day go home and try out a recipe he mentioned. who eats? my hubby cz its him I love. If we talk about careers and biz he could enlighten me. For heavens sake my hubby is not omniscient. Neither am I. We learn from other people as well. How can you limit yourself like that? probs?? |
| Re: Can A Married Woman Have A Male Best Friend? by Nobody: 7:35pm On Oct 14, 2011 |
pendo89:[size=14pt]Why dont you just avoid all the stress and expectations of your husband, and fear of insecurities, complications, emotional disorientations that could arise, by just Keeping OFF? Why dont you just have male friends, and forget about the Male BEST friend stuff? Why dont you just make friends with fellow married couples and have your peace? Why should you incur the wrath of onlookers, simply because you wanna prove that you are living in the 21st century, and as such, male best friends are allowed? I dont know about you o, my wife knows my female friends! But telling her to her face, that i have a female best friend, and that no matter what she does for me, that she cannot be my best friend because i met my female best friend from childhood blah blah and she should not expect me to cut them off yada yada, because i married her. . .! That's not fair on any human! Would those words be terminable from her heart? I'd rather avoid sophisticated objectionable friendship with the opposite sex that would give my wife emotional quagmire and discombobulation, damage her emotional infrastructure and invariably be catastrophic to our marriage! I'm Out!. . .[/size] |
| Re: Can A Married Woman Have A Male Best Friend? by pendo89(f): 7:59pm On Oct 14, 2011 |
1. I told you that anything that happens btwn my male best friend and I must have my hubby's approval. There are no secrets here so issues of insecurity should not arise. 2. What is it with the best male friend? is he a virus to be avoided? If he impacts my life positively why should I avoid him and settle for a marriage couple who may not even posess a tenth of the wisdom this male best friend has? I told you its what is in him that matters and the difference he makes in my life. 3 .So should I dump my male best friend because I fear incurring the wrath of onlookers? Are we breaking a law by being seen together? I should fear my hubby's wrath more than anybody's else. Rem I told you that for testimony sake, I would drag a friend if we go for a picnic since we have people at times that look up to us for guidance etc.I would hate to be a stumbling block to anybody younger than me. 4.Sexkillz why would you even tell your wife that she's not your best friend? And who said she isnt? I thought its the reason you married her. She's just not omniscient same to you but you and her are one.Your wife is on a higher level cz u share intimacy.This other one is platonic,you share knowledge and ideas only. Whatever knowledge you gather out there comes to strengthen the bond with ur wife not divide. Is there anything wrong with having 2 female best friends ? or even 30? I comot! too |
| Re: Can A Married Woman Have A Male Best Friend? by ronkebp(f): 8:06pm On Oct 14, 2011 |
There is no need flogging this issue, more than necessary, there is nothing like a male best friend for the wife and a female best friend for the hubby, outside marraige. No need beautifying what will never be. No man would accept that and am very sure no woman would be comfortable with her hubby having a female best friend outside, only if she wants to pretend. |
| Re: Can A Married Woman Have A Male Best Friend? by ibx1976: 10:21pm On Oct 14, 2011 |
ronkebp:Thank you jare! I wonder how these women advocating for this topic would feel if their husband or boyfriend suddenly got a brand new sexy, figure 8 best female friend. Would they see it the same way! Would they think its harmless platonic friendship or a time bomb ticking towards a massive kabooom! |
| Re: Can A Married Woman Have A Male Best Friend? by oswardic(m): 11:15am On Oct 15, 2011 |
PENDO89 You must definitely be NAYAH! My mind does not deceive me, Why coming with another ID to talk on the same Issue ummmmmm, ***One thing you can never say in marriage*** YOU CAN SAY YOU ARE MY BEST GIRLFRIEND but can you say YOU ARE MY BEST WIFE? |
| Re: Can A Married Woman Have A Male Best Friend? by tsadiq(m): 9:21pm On Oct 18, 2011 |
As how ? Explain ! |
| Re: Can A Married Woman Have A Male Best Friend? by BloodShed1: 9:33pm On Oct 18, 2011 |
LOL If the male friend is a gay then yeah. Because he thinks he's a b!tch anyway. |
| Re: Can A Married Woman Have A Male Best Friend? by albridge(m): 1:41pm On Oct 19, 2011 |
bad idea. bad bad bad idea.  if you dont agree then make sure you dont come back complaining to me later. |
| Re: Can A Married Woman Have A Male Best Friend? by iDo3: 7:09pm On Dec 25, 2011 |
ronkebp - said it well: There is no need flogging this issue, more than necessary, there is nothing like a male best friend for the wife and a female best friend for the hubby, outside marraige. No need beautifying what will never be. No man would accept that and am very sure no woman would be comfortable with her hubby having a female best friend outside, only if she wants to pretend. The wife and the husband can have friends and acquaintances of the opposite sex - but discretion and respect for your spouse will lay the groundwork for a long and happy marriage. A best friend of the opposite sex is ridiculous and uncalled for. Obviously there will be be limited interactions with ex-girlfriends and boyfriends, or even just past non-romantic friends of the opposite sex. I have first hand knowledge of men and women getting a divorce from a brief fling with an ex. People lose something that could have lasted a lifetime for a moment of temporary insanity. All you so called liberated and modern men and women that want to treat marriage as 'boyfriend/girlfriend' relationship are living in a fools paradise. I guess you can go from one failing relationship to another or better yet just remain single and keep playing the field. Once I detect this self serving opinion in a woman, I realize she is not for me. |
| Re: Can A Married Woman Have A Male Best Friend? by sweetjeff: 11:22am On Jul 09, 2013 |
... a married woman having a male best friend? .... her husband and children should be her ONLY best friends... nothing more ... nothing less. Modern lust is on the increase |
| Re: Can A Married Woman Have A Male Best Friend? by kashman1(m): 9:23pm On Aug 23, 2014 |
I don't think having a male best friend is a problem |
| Re: Can A Married Woman Have A Male Best Friend? by DrBeaut01(f): 9:53pm On Aug 24, 2014 |
A married woman shoud'nt have a male as best friend.Abstain from all appearance of evil.There's nothing wrong with having male friends.But best friends with a guy is questionable.Her husband should be her best friend.That's why its important to marry your friend. |
Why Nigerian spinsters should be finacially independent. / Reactions As Man Shares Pictures Of Himself And His Girlfriend In His Room. / Do Guys Really Pay That Amount Of Money To Girls On Codedruns?
(Go Up)
| Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 85 |