Funny enough the difference which is quite small might just be a case of where the items were bought. From personal experience shops don't all have the same price when it comes to diapers or furmulas and at times the prices do change.
Blaming the woman aint gonna solve the issue, they both should own up to their wrong and try to start again.
Babbling about this to a friend is just too immature and shows he needs to grow up and be a man.

oyb:

the long and short of it - better make sure u have your own money, or you will be taking bs all your life

the reason why the man can blather is because from all accounts, it is all one way

how can the woman even save to buy the guy a birthday gift at this rate?

what nonsense

its because the man is the 100% provider there is all this gragra

if the wife was earning her own money the man would not be able to make too much noise, one day she would just vex - wetin - is it not just n600 - oya take n3000 as advance pilfering and stop making noise

if the guy is hard up i can understand

Thank you o jare . . . .

If the woman had her own money, the man sef go even pilfer from her too. Nonsense and ingredient!

jennykadry:


Tell them, which sane man does not look at his wife with pride when friends compliment her.

when peeps dey tell guy bros ya wife dey look like supermodel tell me the guy head no go swell

if madam is looking frumpy the guy eye go dey stray sharp sharp

oyb:

when peeps dey tell guy bros ya wife dey look like supermodel tell me the guy head no go swell

if madam is looking frumpy the guy eye go dey stray sharp sharp

I Know of a man whose wife shoes are envied by all, His Friends Even told him that they told their wives to go and ASK this Mans Wife where She buys her Shoes from, so that they can go there too

AND one would think Men don't have Eyes

jennykadry:

I Know of a man whose wife shoes are envied by all, His Friends Even told him that they told their wives to go and ASK this Mans Wife where She buys her Shoes, so that they can go there to.

AND one Gould think Men don't have Eyes

you go suprise. you will find that these fellows whose wives don't take care of themselves will be hitting on the hot wives of their friends

i have seen it happen

Abeg, stop trying to divert attention thru sista solidarity from the real issue which is gender parity in minor dishonesty

If a man tells small lies about his movements or expenditure, you women are very quick to suspect him of infidelity. In fact, una no dey waste time to accuse.

So tell me - if a woman tells small lies about prices of foodstuff or household goods, why should the hubby not be equally quick to suspect her of swindling him of larger amounts or at least potential/intention to do so?

Its all about trust, baby

What is good for the goose is good for the gander. Mutual suspicion

there's a word accountants/auditors use

material

is this thing material to you?

eg - n5, n50, n100, n500 are cash amounts that are not material to me. if i lose them, no biggie

if the woman is pinching serious amounts of money, then its an issue.

just the same way your husband ogling women may be irritating, but certainly does not come close to actual adultery.

all this blah blah blah about trust

if the employers of 90% of these draconian inquisitors thought like this, them for sack the for theft longest time.

Ujujoan:

Thank you o jare . . . .  

If the woman had her own money, the man sef go even pilfer from her too. Nonsense and ingredient!

Nne, talk true, its not about weda the woman has her own money or not

Both you plus  including several of your own fellow women right here on this thread (including the career/professional women) have already confessed that as far as they are concerned, its a wife's privilege/right to loot/pilfer/inflate/extort petty sums of money from their hubby. Myself and several other guys have equally stated that most men already know that this is naija women's mentality and so its no biggie as long as the amount involved is petty.

The bottomline (which most parties male and female) have agreed to is as follows - whether a naija woman is a fulltime housewife or a Wall Street investment banker, she has the innate belief that she is entitled to obtain or extract petty sums of money from her hubby as part of her God-given right or privilege in marriage.  

Na the koko be dat

oyb:

there's a word accountants/auditors use

material

is this thing material to you?

eg - n5, n50, n100, n500 are cash amounts that are not material to me. if i lose them, no biggie

if the woman is pinching serious amounts of money, then its an issue.

just the same way your husband ogling women may be irritating, but certainly does not come close to actual adultery.

all this blah blah blah about trust

if the employers of 90% of these draconian inquisitors thought like this, them for sack the for theft longest time.

I think we have all virtually agreed that as long as the amount of money pinched by a wife from her hubby is trivial, its really no biggie.

The issue about trust is that since we are agreed that wives are allowed to pinch petty amounts of money from their hubbies, tell small lies about it and the hubbies should accept it as no biggie, then likewise hubbies should equally be allowed to tell small lies about their movements and expenditure and wives should equally accept it as no biggie.

Agreed?

blacklion:

I think we have all virtually agreed that as long as the amount of money pinched by a wife from her hubby is trivial, its really no biggie.

The issue about trust is that since we are agreed that wives are allowed to pinch petty amounts of money from their hubbies, tell small lies about it and the hubbies should accept it as no biggie, then likewise hubbies should equally be allowed to tell small lies about their movements and expenditure and wives should equally accept it as no biggie.

Agreed?

I told you earlier, try not to be too close minded!

If my husband lies about how many stick of ciggarette he smoked, I wont hang myself over it. But if he lies about vising that sister from church, I'll murder him!

Likewise, if I lie about 500 buck, I dont expect him to complain, but if I lie about that date with the cute next door neighbour, I deserve to be mudered!

...

chaircover:

Thank you Coogar. God bless you. You are a breath of fresh air and are being honest when you say that a man feels pride when his wife and kids look stunning. The times when people look at me and say you are looking good & I turn to them and say errrrr it’s all thanks to God and my husband o! Or when my people say to him ese o! eku itoju aburo wa o!

Uju & Jenny u don try. I don’t know what else to say. Even if we multiply the N600 by 10,000 times, is it anywhere near what our parents spent on us to make us presentable for one husband to desire us in the first instance. N600 can’t even buy the cheapest brand facial wash

Abi o . .

Try loading N600 airtime in your phone. It will be gone before you say jack robinson!

OK O! Ujujoan and CC

Abeg, help me with this one. A married man is making 500k/month net. He decides one weekend to host his crew at their local joint to watch Premiership. He picks the entire tab of 5k even though his buddies drank most of the beer.

Is it okay if he comes home and tells missus that he only spent 1k, that it was only him and the next door neighbour at the joint and they only had a couple of beers?

Is that acceptable behaviour from a married man?

blacklion:

OK O! Ujujoan and CC

Abeg, help me with this one. A married man is making 500k/month net. He decides one weekend to host his crew at their local joint to watch Premiership. He picks the entire tab of 5k even though his buddies drank most of the beer.

Is it okay if he comes home and tells missus that he only spent 1k, that it was only him and the next door neighbour at the joint and they only had a couple of beers?

Is that acceptable behaviour from a married man?

A husband (or a wife) shouldn't see the need to lie to his partner about money! If he spends and doesn't want to disclose the full amount, there should be a good reason. However, it'll be wrong to brand him a thief because of that.

But like I've been saying since, I don't even consider what the poster's wife is doing a lie!

Besides the scenario you gave is entirely different from what we are discussing here.

@OP

Your wife has already studied you. . .studied the grip hold you have on the finances. You think women are mumu? You are just in primary 1 while your wife has graduated from college in terms of understanding the dynamics of the kind of marriage you created.

This is usually the cry of stingy or poor men. It shall be well, dear.

you step away for a short time and they flip the script on this thread.
@bro Blacklion, yes many of you guys have accepted that the amount is "nothing" but are you therefore saying that someone who sees this as a BIG DEAL is wrong?! each and everyone has the right to decide what is good (or bad) for their finances. the poster obviously has a beef with lying partners, whether a white lie or not. who are WE to say that he is wrong for having a NO LIE policy? it is all about TRUST.
here is something for you to consider: we have great r/ships with our banks, but if you knew that they stole from you then you would be mad (even if they make you earn 10x that amount) because it's the PRINCIPAL that matters here.


now can some of you ladies explain to me what "looking good" has got to do with ANYTHING? so far as we know, the OP never refused his lady anything, so if she needed items to make herself look desirable, the OP would have given her the money for it. duh!

call him stingy/tightfisted or whatever but he knows how hard he sweated to earn this money and therefore HE has the right to control its flow. who want to put a thief in charge of finances?! look at the 9ja Gov to have a clue of what will happen.

try an analogy that has to do with something personal

if we found that madam was paying for her girlfriends weaves, we'd be pissed too

eg would u be pissed if you found your husband spent 5k buying modern warfare 3, and told you he spent 2k buying it?

MRbrownJAY:

you step away for a short time and they flip the script on this thread.
@bro Basildon, yes many of you guys have accepted that the amount is "nothing" but are you therefore saying that someone who sees this as a BIG DEAL is wrong?! each and everyone has the right to decide what is good (or bad) for their finances. the poster obviously has a beef with lying partners, whether a white lie or not. who are WE to say that he is wrong for having a NO LIE policy? it is all about TRUST.
here is something for you to consider: we have great r/ships with our banks, but if you knew that they stole from you then you would be mad (even if they make you earn 10x that amount) because it's the PRINCIPAL that matters here.


now can some of you ladies explain to me what "looking good" has got to do with ANYTHING? so far as we know, the OP never refused his lady anything, so if she needed items to make herself look desirable, the OP would have given her the money for it. duh!

call him stingy/tightfisted or whatever but he knows how hard he sweated to earn this money and therefore HE has the right to control its flow. who want to put a thief in charge of finances?! look at the 9ja Gov to have a clue of what will happen.

dude, let me put this in a personal context

downloading movies without paying for them is stealing

sharing them is distributing stolen goods

by inference . . .

if you want to deal in extremes, then you are on a very slippery slope . . .

MRbrownJAY:

you step away for a short time and they flip the script on this thread.
@bro Basildon, yes many of you guys have accepted that the amount is "nothing" but are you therefore saying that someone who sees this as a BIG DEAL is wrong?! each and everyone has the right to decide what is good (or bad) for their finances. the poster obviously has a beef with lying partners, whether a white lie or not. who are WE to say that he is wrong for having a NO LIE policy? it is all about TRUST.
here is something for you to consider: we have great r/ships with our banks, but if you knew that they stole from you then you would be mad (even if they make you earn 10x that amount) because it's the PRINCIPAL that matters here.


now can some of you ladies explain to me what "looking good" has got to do with ANYTHING? so far as we know, the OP never refused his lady anything, so if she needed items to make herself look desirable, the OP would have given her the money for it. duh!

call him stingy/tightfisted or whatever but he knows how hard he sweated to earn this money and therefore HE has the right to control its flow. who want to put a thief in charge of finances?! look at the 9ja Gov to have a clue of what will happen.

it's their money.

chaircover:

Thank you Coogar. God bless you. You are a breath of fresh air and are being honest when you say that a man feels pride when his wife and kids look stunning. The times when people look at me and say you are looking good & I turn to them and say errrrr it’s all thanks to God and my husband o!  Or when my people say to him ese o! eku itoju aburo wa o!

don't mind the overgrown babies!

Uju & Jenny u don try. I don’t know what else to say. Even if we multiply the N600 by 10,000 times, is it anywhere near what our parents spent on us to make us presentable for one husband to desire us in the first instance. N600 can’t even buy the cheapest brand facial wash  

maybe he was forced to marry the wife. other than that i don't see how any man will not be happy the wife is pinching is money.
if my wife cannot pinch my money, whose money should she pinch?

It is very interesting to note that money issues contribute very much to the making or breaking of marriages. Funny enough while listening to the radio yesterday, this same money matter was what was being discussed. The question was would you vote for a joint account and would you want to know or demand to know how much your partner earns?
All kinds of responses showed clearly that no one has an handle on these things. However, one caller said since he'd been married for 13 years, his wife handles all the finances in the home and he has had peace with the arrangement.Some others said lailai!

I'm not saying its right or wrong, all I'm saying is everyone has their own views on this matter. All I know is your wife is your partner for life! Not someone you live with or someone who is just there sha. Many of us get it wrong here, husbands and wives alike. And until we change the way we think about our marriages, things like this will continue to happen. We should not even equate this with househelps, hanging with the boys or whatever. The critical issue here is that the husband IMO has a wrong basis for thinking the money is his own. The day he said I do, the end came to him owning himself. Wifey too, should not destroy the trust.

coogar:

it's their money.

who said the contrary?!

@OYB
i dont get you your analogy.

MRbrownJAY:

who said the contrary?!

you did. . . .

call him stingy/tightfisted or whatever but he knows how hard he sweated to earn this money and therefore HE has the right to control its flow. who want to put a thief in charge of finances?! look at the 9ja Gov to have a clue of what will happen.

that should read "how hard they sweated to earn this money. . . . ."
2 became one the moment they read their vows in the church. my money is my wifey's money and vice versa.

coogar:

you did. . . .

that should read how hard they sweated to earn this money.
2 became one the moment they read their vows in the church. my money is my wifey's money and vice versa.

no no HE sweated for this money by going to work every damn day, he contributed to that account and decide to share it with his spouse (like any man should) but he has all the rights to want to CONTROL its flow.

MRbrownJAY:

who said the contrary?!

@OYB
i dont get you your analogy.

this is what i'm getting at - by your definition, the wife is a thief because she pilfers small amounts of money from her husband - therfore, she cannot be rusted etc

i consider this an extreme draconian mindset,

and i am pointing out that in the past, you have posted links to pirated movies on nl. by your strict standards, this is distribution of stolen goods.

ergo, you are untrustworthy etal and have no business commenting

we have to avoid extremes when judging people

ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahaha

you do have a point but again, i have not lied to anyone nor did i deceived anyone or force anyone to accept my lifestyle in a deceitful way.
if you look at my movie thread carefully, i do NOT steal movies nor distribute them, i simply give the link to my fellow NLers on WHERE TO WATCH IT FOR FREE. . . . . . . . .so each and everyone can decide if they want to indulge or not, focus on the word "EACH AND EVERYONE".

this is a complete different issue of DECEIT, THIEVERY and complete LOSS OF TRUST!

Chief Brown Jay,

No min all these wayo women, according to them, inflating prices when requesting money from your hubby is not lying because its only a small amount of money, 

I wonder if they will accept it as no biggie that if their hubby paid N1k for N400 worth of orange to that omo alata down the street with the perky b o o b s, 

after all, its just N600 difference that cannot even buy third grade tokunbo undies for omo alata at bend-down market,

I am so emotional right now, I could burst into tears right now, us Women have come such a long way, see Sisters doing it for themselves, see Sista solidarity extra-ordinaire, it gladdens my heart to see the emancipation of the Nigerian woman happening before my very two korokoro eyes, my eyes are so welled with tears dearest Baba God hope I don't choke on my own tears


Chai, our dearest beloved men, you have to bear with us, this emancipation has been a long time coming so if it looks as if we are going about it the wrong way, it isn't, us Sisthrens are just like the proverbial Ramadan ram that usually reverses backward to gain momentum before it charges at its prey. . .


Can't wait for the Sisthren solidarity to move to the next cause: Igbo men that beat their wives for not giving birth to boys and Yoruba men that go to impregnate another woman outside cos wifey at home could not give him a son and Hausa men and their paedophilic tendencies

[size=18pt]So if your son or daughter inflates the prices of books, School fees and money spent on groceries its ok?

Why cant the lazy woman get up and look for a job to pay for her own bills instead of stealing

and she would have the guts to tell the children that stealing is bad.

If stealing from your husband is permissible then children stealing from parents should be permissible too[/size]

Busy_body:


I am so emotional right now, I could burst into tears right now, us Women have come such a long way, see Sisters doing it for themselves, see Sista solidarity extra-ordinaire

Sisthren solidarity ke?

More like wives solidarity and then mistresses solidarity and then runs girls solidarity.
For all the above to combine into one sisthren solidarity movement, na big lie!

Like I've said before, it'll save guys a lot of time if they just work on the basis that anything that's wrong in their relationshiop is their own fault.

dayokanu:

[size=18pt]So if your son or daughter inflates the prices of books, School fees and money spent on groceries its ok?

Why cant the lazy woman get up and look for a job to pay for her own bills instead of stealing

and she would have the guts to tell the children that stealing is bad.

If stealing from your husband is permissible then children stealing from parents should be permissible too[/size]

Bros You dey mind these women,

If the Hubby did the-same thing, these women will call him BROKE ASS, lazy fool, gold digger bla, bla, bla.

But it is normal for a woman to do it.

dayokanu:

[size=18pt]So if your son or daughter inflates the prices of books, School fees and money spent on groceries its ok?

Why cant the lazy woman get up and look for a job to pay for her own bills instead of stealing

and she would have the guts to tell the children that stealing is bad.

If stealing from your husband is permissible then children stealing from parents should be permissible too[/size]

dk abegi

they are adults and it is completely different

what next - so because i stay up late my kids can too ; because u shak ur kids can too? etc etc

coogar:

i am very sure you bagged a professorship in hypocrisy.
so i should not judge nigerian marriages by western law when we have fully adopted their practises. why do you practise the religion they brought to your doorstep in africa? why do you wear jeans? you should be covering your honour with pawpaw leaves. . . .like your ancestors!

why do you speak their language? why do you use their technology?
why the heck won't i judge nigerian marriages by western laws? so you actually feel the way women are mistreated in nigeria is normal? by now, the education and exposure we have had should be reflecting in our society. so it's a shame that this man is complaining about 500 naira in 2011. he belongs to the stone-age.

over amounts less than $5, they don't. the money this husband is screaming about will not even get you a meal at mac donalds. what sort of husband is he? and yet, he wouldn't mind spending $500 in a strip club or the various whorehouses in lagos.

what has prenuptial got to do with police escorting you out of your own house if there's trouble at home? prenuptial ko, pre-nautica ni.

financial management of 500 naira change, 400 naira change, etc. this husband is a disgrace to manhood.

we are talking about his wife here, not the housegirl. she is the mother of his children.
pray tell. . . .what does he think the woman does with the extra she keeps to herself? she definitely spends it on herself to look good. shouldn't that make the man happy? my happiness as a husband is incomplete without making my wife look good.

the compliments i get from my friends about her looking good will complete my joy. that is my wife, my life partner.
this husband shouldn't be married at all if 500 naira makes so much difference to him. i repeat, he's a wuss, a moaner, a cry-baby!

LOL, you really surprise me,

So have you ever heard the word JURISDICTION?

The most EU countries  use the-same currency, technology e.t.c is their Marriage Laws the-same?NO.

Meddle Eastern countries speak the-same Language, practice the-same religion.Is their Marriage Laws the-same? NO

Marriage is a legal contract and your Western Laws don't go beyond their various countries.

Imagine MAMA IYABO tying to evicting BABA IYABO because it is done that way in US. When their is no legal backing for it.

In Nigeria the man keep all his asset after divorce .

In US it is 50-50 (except their is a contrary legal agreement).

So why judge Nigeria marriages by your WESTERN LAW.