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Is It Compulsory For A Married Woman To Take On Her Husband's Surname? - Romance (1) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Is It Compulsory For A Married Woman To Take On Her Husband's Surname? (6198 Views)

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Re: Is It Compulsory For A Married Woman To Take On Her Husband's Surname? by freecocoa(f): 2:11pm On Dec 24, 2011
There's no law on that so its not compulsory but I think its necessary.
Re: Is It Compulsory For A Married Woman To Take On Her Husband's Surname? by chaircover: 2:15pm On Dec 24, 2011
Re: Is It Compulsory For A Married Woman To Take On Her Husband's Surname? by BABAJ1: 2:31pm On Dec 24, 2011
Are u guys African?
Re: Is It Compulsory For A Married Woman To Take On Her Husband's Surname? by Theblessed(f): 2:54pm On Dec 24, 2011
No, no and no!!!

I said it before and everyone knows, it is true that marriage is not COMPULSORY so why would taking up a married name be compulsory?  

After all, a woman had a name before she married the Mr Somebody (she was her father's daughtere and still is) and that name, is the family name her own father and brothers still bear - so what's the hake?  

If a woman want to take up her husband's name, that's her choice and she should not be prevented - same as those who have joint names in marriage or those who opted-out of it, entirely.  

It is their choice and does not make any difference one bit, does it? Who is hurting and who has a woman not bearing her husband's name, given skin pain - no one but you Mr ego! angry

Listen, it doesn't matter because, Almighty God knows us by name as demonstrated by Jesus calling out Zacchaeus, Zacchaeus among the multitudes of people that came to see him heal and deliver people, remember?  The story of short Zacchaeus climbing the Sychamore tree just to be able to see the Son of God, Jesus?

Well, that says it all for you ego-driven ignorants.  If you can not remember that story I suggest you check your Bible, for God himself, knows us by name and no other name - not even a family name let alone a husbands name.

He knows us by name - get it now, and stop complaining - moaner!!!  angry angry
Re: Is It Compulsory For A Married Woman To Take On Her Husband's Surname? by obowunmi(m): 3:14pm On Dec 24, 2011
All of this conversation is rubbish, we all know this. As though if some of you women married an Adenuga or Dangote, you wouldn't change your name at the quickest sight.
Re: Is It Compulsory For A Married Woman To Take On Her Husband's Surname? by fellis(f): 4:05pm On Dec 24, 2011
@theblessed,
Abeg no take vex wound yoursef. grin
A lot of Nigerian men will tell you it's compulsory.
Reason being because the Bible says the man is the head of the house or because they paid dowry.
But neither dowry payment nor changing of a woman's name is in the Bible.




So if these practices are not mandated by God, what else will make human beings impose it on others if not arrogance/ego issues?
Anyway in the end it depends on the couple.

Men, FYI, your wife can still bear her name while you are the head of the house.
Her not doing so does not make her the head.
Re: Is It Compulsory For A Married Woman To Take On Her Husband's Surname? by saska1122: 4:18pm On Dec 24, 2011
obowunmi:

All of this conversation is rubbish, we all know this. As though if some of you women married an Adenuga or Dangote, you wouldn't change your name at the quickest sight.

Don't mind some people. I think there is something greatly wrong with Nigerians and their self esteem.

All these "I too sabi, over-confident" people, I tire for una ooo.
In the western world, most ladies share a great deal in the wedding cost. In some cases the man even check in to stay in the lady's initial home.
Yet, most of the ladies will gladly take their husband's family name. It is not an African thing as some ppl suggested.
When will some ladies on NL start paying bride price on the husbands? When will some of them finish d building that will accommodate their newly wedded husband?
The question from d inserted quote is: If you are married to Dangote, Barrack Obama,Adenuga,any state governor in naija, will U still answer ur family name just 4 equality sake?

When we make 'serious' effort to bring out these 'equality' thing, it makes us so unreal and hypocritical.
Re: Is It Compulsory For A Married Woman To Take On Her Husband's Surname? by saska1122: 4:24pm On Dec 24, 2011
fellis:


Reason being because the Bible says the man is the head of the house or because they paid dowry.
But neither dowry payment nor changing of a woman's name is in the Bible


Abeg read ya bible well for the bold. Though the bible is mostly based on the Jewish culture and I'm not a fan of throwing away our culture, but at least paying of dowry is in d bible.Check the old testament!!
Re: Is It Compulsory For A Married Woman To Take On Her Husband's Surname? by kizito96(m): 4:32pm On Dec 24, 2011
That is the way it should be. The man is the head of the house and as it is written, she has to toe the line of the man
Re: Is It Compulsory For A Married Woman To Take On Her Husband's Surname? by otokx(m): 4:57pm On Dec 24, 2011
Not yet
Re: Is It Compulsory For A Married Woman To Take On Her Husband's Surname? by Nobody: 6:05pm On Dec 24, 2011
Look at all these shameless Nigerian [i]i[/i]diots quoting the Bible as if they obey every commandment to the letter. So many Nigerians adduce quotes from Bible in order to support and promote their own selfish interests. Moreover, not everyone is a Christian. It is strictly a personal decision; therefore, each family should decide for itself!
Re: Is It Compulsory For A Married Woman To Take On Her Husband's Surname? by Nobody: 6:40pm On Dec 24, 2011
I really don't care. as long as my kids has my name. In fact, i like my girlfriend's name. if we are going to get married and she doesn't want to change it, Its all good with me
Re: Is It Compulsory For A Married Woman To Take On Her Husband's Surname? by Outstrip(f): 6:50pm On Dec 24, 2011
deandavid:

my God what is happening? What nonsense,well its your choice if wan answer your wife family name,no body hold u. Cn u be a mrs nd stil bear your fada's name? Pls tink b4 talkin.i tink dis generatn of youth r goin out of hand wit their lost ideas, d family of d man payd d dowry 4 d wife 2 cme 2 d man's house, nd be part of her new family. Pple tink b4 askin qtns. Rationally its normal, in african tradition its normal.

Please be quiet abeg. It is not african tradition. It is western tradition that Africans adopted. Monkey see monkey do. Ask your grand mother if people called her by her husbands name after she married
Re: Is It Compulsory For A Married Woman To Take On Her Husband's Surname? by emmatok: 6:52pm On Dec 24, 2011
OP:Is It Compulsory For A Married Woman To Take On Her Husband's Surname?

ME:YES. (except you are not ready to get married).

How many Marriage registries  will wed both of you, if you insist on different surname.
Re: Is It Compulsory For A Married Woman To Take On Her Husband's Surname? by Nobody: 7:01pm On Dec 24, 2011
@JimOvia,
It may seem silly to you,but theres no need to be rude. undecided
Re: Is It Compulsory For A Married Woman To Take On Her Husband's Surname? by Loveaflame(m): 7:35pm On Dec 24, 2011
That is a funny question from the African point of view.It is more than compulsory.Any lady who doesn't want such is not ready for marriage and is a sure sign that such will not be a god wife at home.
Re: Is It Compulsory For A Married Woman To Take On Her Husband's Surname? by Nobody: 7:50pm On Dec 24, 2011
^
What about Joke Silva? Is she also a bad wife at home?
Re: Is It Compulsory For A Married Woman To Take On Her Husband's Surname? by claremont(m): 7:59pm On Dec 24, 2011
I don't think there is any law that says it's compulsory for the wife to adopt the last name of her husband, it's a  personal decision she has to take herself. Some ladies choose to keep their names because they want to avoid the hassle of changing names on official documents like bank accounts, credit cards e.t.c. It doesn't necessarily imply non-commitment to the marriage in any way.

It maybe a tradition in Africa, but the mere fact that it is customary in Africa doesn't mean that it should be adopted by an individual. We need to learn to make our own decisions, rather than leave it to be made on our behalf by our culture and adopted religion.
Re: Is It Compulsory For A Married Woman To Take On Her Husband's Surname? by solomon111(m): 8:19pm On Dec 24, 2011
What bunch of rubbish am i hearing from some people?
Why get married if you do not find it neccessary to bear your hubby's surname?
It seems you people are taking this female independence thing too far.The people you are trying to copy have divorce rates as high as 50% and you people still want to emulate their marital ideologies.WTH.
Some of the most powerful women in the world find it neccessary to bear their husbands surname,from the likes of 'michelle obama' to 'hiliary clinton', to the brazillian president 'dilma rouseff' and even the german chancellor 'angela merkel' and e.t.c.Very few women in history match them in intelligence and achievements.These women have all the qualities needed to be independent, but still find it neccessary to bear their husband's name.
It is indeed true that empty barrels make the loudest noise.I just hope that majority of naija women dont have the same ideologies with some female posters on nairaland,else it wont be worth flying all the way from Europe to get married to a Nigerian lady raised in Nigeria.
Re: Is It Compulsory For A Married Woman To Take On Her Husband's Surname? by EagleNest(m): 8:22pm On Dec 24, 2011
A bit of hypocritical question b/c marriage is much more than name changing. The main ingredient to successful marriage is patience, understanding & tolerance which many lack. Nevertheless, name- changing is valid for most cultural and religious marriages though I dont knw much about d court/legal ones. It depends on upbringing & values. Name changing does not demean or diminish anyone, so to say. Nowadays, our cultural/religious values are constantly being attacked by western way-of-life. In this our age we want to re-write everything. Let's be careful b/4 we create an uncontrollable society.
Re: Is It Compulsory For A Married Woman To Take On Her Husband's Surname? by Nobody: 8:23pm On Dec 24, 2011
Anything but a woman only taking the mans last name seems to make some people uncomfortable. Its all good as long as the couple whole heartedly agree together what they want to do.  smiley
Re: Is It Compulsory For A Married Woman To Take On Her Husband's Surname? by Royou: 8:25pm On Dec 24, 2011
I never saw anything wrong with it, in my own opinion until i had the same conversation about it with an old friend of mine (More like a mentor) He was Nigeria's ambassador to Israel for over 10years and currently runs a small church in Osun state. He told me about his daughter - That when she was about getting married she came her told him that she loves him so much and could not stand dropping her maiden name; His advice to her was biblical and he said that's what marriage was built on, To leave your family and CLEAVE on to your husband/wife. Hence she dropped the idea. I learnt a great deal from that innocent conversation.
Re: Is It Compulsory For A Married Woman To Take On Her Husband's Surname? by deols(f): 2:04am On Dec 25, 2011
No it isnt. Am not planning to change mine.it is not in my thoughts at all.
Re: Is It Compulsory For A Married Woman To Take On Her Husband's Surname? by GboyegaD(m): 3:49am On Dec 25, 2011
As for me, she must take my surname else she is not ready for marriage.
Re: Is It Compulsory For A Married Woman To Take On Her Husband's Surname? by obowunmi(m): 5:37am On Dec 25, 2011
obowunmi:

All of this conversation is rubbish, we all know this. As though i[b]f some of you women married an Adenuga or Dangote,[/b] you wouldn't change your name at the quickest sight.

I've said my own, wink wink
Re: Is It Compulsory For A Married Woman To Take On Her Husband's Surname? by solomon111(m): 6:25am On Dec 25, 2011
deols:

No it isnt. Am not planning to change mine.it is not in my thoughts at all.
You are on your own.It can only happen if you marry a sissy not a real man.It is better if u stay unmarried for your own good.
Re: Is It Compulsory For A Married Woman To Take On Her Husband's Surname? by deols(f): 7:21am On Dec 25, 2011
solomon111:

You are on your own.It can only happen if you marry a sissy not a real man.It is better if u stay unmarried for your own good.

so u think everyman is so insecure? there are other ways to show u'r a real man than some name issue.
Re: Is It Compulsory For A Married Woman To Take On Her Husband's Surname? by wazobiang: 8:59am On Dec 25, 2011
Of course something has to give. You never had two captains in a boat before, have you? There's a reason a man's tool is long and protruding out of the body. There's a reason men are generally, physically stronger than  women. Whats in a name anyway? Two lineages will be the beginning of confusion I bet you. One lineage is sanity through the man's path. Actually, two lineages includes everybody in the world. Try it and see.

its this gender equality,  human rights, animal right all what not which had existed long before now that the "new age" people will pull out, twist and wreck havoc on the way things used to be.

Say whatever you like, our forefathers were far smarter than us. The end is closing in and the world is caving in.
Re: Is It Compulsory For A Married Woman To Take On Her Husband's Surname? by freshera: 11:37am On Dec 25, 2011
It depends on the couple. If the woman wants to show commitment and submission, then she should do the right thing. There may be exceptions, like if the woman's father is a governor or president, etc. If the woman wil not submit then she shouldn't bother to get married, it WON'T work

But why are African men so concerned about subordinating and ruling their women. No wonder Africa is where it is, we bother with tiny issues shocked

If only Africans existed in this world, we will still be on the farm, uncivilised with no light bulb, fridge, car, drugs, machines, aeroplanes, etc bothering about how to control women grin

Left to Africans, this world will be in . . . undecided

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Re: Is It Compulsory For A Married Woman To Take On Her Husband's Surname? by vizion: 2:14pm On Dec 25, 2011
omo_to_dun:

^
What about Joke Silva? Is she also a bad wife at home?



is Joke Silva known as Mrs Joke Silva, or Mrs Silva??


it is the presence of a husband that makes changes the lady's title from Miss, or Ms to Mrs.

The only person entitled to answer Mrs in the household is the wife ( the first and great Chief Mrs) and then the smaller daugther-in-laws
Re: Is It Compulsory For A Married Woman To Take On Her Husband's Surname? by Flashaldrin(m): 2:52pm On Dec 25, 2011
whatever undecided
Re: Is It Compulsory For A Married Woman To Take On Her Husband's Surname? by DereI(f): 3:49pm On Dec 25, 2011
Cant wait to get my new surname, grin

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