Here are some qualities to look for in a healthy relationship: common values and similar culture, ability to forgive and be forgiven, ability to be challenged and confronted without defensiveness, desire to raise children, common goals. Ask yourself, Why do I want this relationship? To lose myself? To find myself?· To make up for what I lost in childhood? To keep me so excited I can’t be depressed? To boost my sagging self-esteem? To be a temporary fix until I decide I want something better? For security or someone to take care of me? To be in control? To show off to my friends that I can get a man? To get my parents off my back? To run away from my responsibilities? To find someone to support my children?

to love and to cherish me in sickness and in health

Someone who accepts me throughout all my ugly and not-so-ugly moods and who isn't ashamed to be seen with me.

a man that willl love me for me , and will be there through the good and the bad, the highs and the lows

A real man,

Free:

a man that willl love me for me , and will be there through the good and the bad, the highs and the lows

A woman with a dream worth pursuing and a loyal, kind, understanding heart.

I have learned that what I am looking for doesn't exist.

2 MUCH 2 LESS!!

2 much love, she takes you for granted,
2 less, and she's soon gone like the morning dew.

2 much of riches, her expenses increases,
2 less finances, your status decreases.

2 much talking, 2 much familiarity, less originality,
2 less talking and soon you become strangers.

2 much seeing each other, she might grow bored,
2 less of eye to eye, another eye takes your place.

2 much patience, and you'll look stupid,
2 less is impatient and she's irritated.

2 much of this,
2 less of that
Indeed, this boy girl thing is not so easy

ohai?

2cantango:

I have learned that what I am looking for doesn't exist.

Can you tell me what you really want and i gonna tell you that it exists.But if you looking for a man that you will be the husband and he will be the wife that you can never find so talk to me one on one i will advice and counsel you about this matter +2348052136577 or mail me at dadewusi@gmail.com and your life will never remain the same

[Boobs] they don't turn me on. I prefer a strong-willed woman who can stay clear-headed in times of difficulty. Most important, she should love me -- for me.

whoknoxluv:

Can you tell me what you really want and i going to tell you that it exists.But if you looking for a man that you will be the husband and he will be the wife that you can never find so talk to me one on one i will advice and counsel you about this matter +2348052136577 or mail me at dadewusi@gmail.com and your life will never remain the same

how will you convince me that it exists?

thats for you to find out and for me to know baby girl

i want a girl or a boy that can keep up with me !

I can keep up with you and you'll be the one panting

u live to far away and ur too old sorry

that sounds like a compliment to me

2cantango:

how will you convince me that it exists?

well i can't know what you want until u tell me then i will proof to you that it exists, you might have walkd out of various relationships but there is one that will provide you with what you expect or meet your needs so get across to me then we talk beta

2cantango:

I have learned that what I am looking for doesn't exist.

Yes 2C, i am inclined to agree with whoknoxluv. If you are convinced what you are looking for doesnt exist then it only means it is not a realistic desire, hence you should lay it aside. If however your statement is based on the fact that you have not searched enough or you have been discouraged by long term search then get in touch with him since he is offering to help.

Again if you insist what you looking for doesnt exist, the fault is in you not what youre looking for as youre loking for the unattainable.

A quick-thinking individual who doesn't consider dicussions of matters of the heart "banal."

nicetohave:

Yes 2C, i am inclined to agree with whoknoxluv. If you are convinced what you are looking for doesnt exist then it only means it is not a realistic desire, hence you should lay it aside. If however your statement is based on the fact that you have not searched enough or you have been discouraged by long term search then get in touch with him since he is offering to help.

Again if you insist what you looking for doesnt exist, the fault is in you not what youre looking for as youre loking for the unattainable.

What I have looked for is love, and the reality is that genuine love doesn't exist. Not in it's purest form. People claim to love each other, yet that love doesn't stop them from abusing each other verbally, emotionally, physically, mentally. These couples who claim to love each other are disrespecting each other in many different areas. A person can tell you they love you in one breath, and in the next they'll be filling your head with lies. I've lived through this crap and I've watched family and friends endure the same.
If pure, genuine love is unattainable and unrealistic, and my expectation that it should exist is a fault in me. . . well that speaks volumes.

Zahymaka:

A quick-thinking individual who doesn't consider dicussions of matters of the heart "banal."

I dont get you

2cantango:

What I have looked for is love, and the reality is that genuine love doesn't exist. Not in it's purest form. People claim to love each other, yet that love doesn't stop them from abusing each other verbally, emotionally, physically, mentally. These couples who claim to love each other are disrespecting each other in many different areas. A person can tell you they love you in one breath, and in the next they'll be filling your head with lies. I've lived through this crap and I've watched family and friends endure the same.
If pure, genuine love is unattainable and unrealistic, and my expectation that it should exist is a fault in me. . . well that speaks volumes.

Sorry 2C but i disagree with you all all grounds. Yes it is true that people love and lie to each other and that is not really true love but then true love does exist. If you say true love in reality doesnt exist then you are guilty of not being able to love truly, because it means that you will lie and abuse too; if you wont then true love exists, at least with you.

What you put in sometimes is what you get. Most times i believe people will lie and decieve but before it gets to the point of physical abuse (which is the end point of all) i believe you should have been privy to a lot of things and take appropriate steps. True love exists.

If you have been hurt in the past and you start off another relationship with the mindset that true love doesnt exist it will affect your outlook towards that relationship, if you start off suspecting and acting based on past experience you will end up messing up what might me a good opportunity at real love, sometimes some error cant be rectified when they have been created.

If you want someone to hold on to, youve got to learn to let go
youve got to love like youve never been hurt
youve got to dance like nobody's watching
its got to come from the heart if you want it to work.

I am a firm believer in "you get out of it what you put into it", if you meet someone who is not truthful or abusive dont waste your time dealing with them, you hang on with them hoping things will change and if doesnt you say true love doesnt exist when you have wasted too much time with someone who would have been more truthful with someone else he/she truly loves and respects, if you move on i believe that person will learn not to lie and cheat and abuse, howbeit i believe some people never change but that doesnt change the world either. People do change and people are capable of love, dont waste your time either trying to change anyone.

do not be sad that roses bear thorns but rather rejoice that the thornbush bear roses.
do not look unto the ones that failed as an example but look unto the ones that succeeded as your prototype.

I have seen many loving, truthful marriages where couples live with respect for one another and also do not abuse each other and i have also seen many of the opposite:

so what am i saying here, it will be a tragedy to give up on love because you failed at an attempt and then make a conclusion that true love doesnt exist.

love is reciprocal, if you say true love doesnt exist then you are saying that you are incapable of giving true love too and that you too will cheat and lie and abuse, if your answer is no you wont, then true love exists because you cant possibly be the only one capable of being truthful and loving and respectful in a relationship.

I hope i have passed my point across.

For me it is simple. I look for 3 things.

1. Spiritual compatibility (both singing from the same hymn book ie same biblical understanding)
2. Mental compatibility (similar NOT same attitudes, perceptions to life in general)
3. Physical compatibility (i like what i see and vice versa, body laguage, charisma etc)

I havent mentioned love. I believe in commitment instead. I cant be commited to you if i dont love BUT i can love u without committing to u, if u see what i mean.  Love is a feeling that can overrule even the soundest reasoning, but with commitment i believe any relationship can go places.


_{that is my just my humble opinion. please feel free to disagree.}

@nicetohave:
whatever. . . you don't know me so you can't pass judgement. This thread isn't about what you look for in yourself, it's about what you look for in a partner, I haven't found a man who can love in it's purest form, and if you think that's because I am not capable of loving like that, well you're totaly wrong. Those who know me, know what I am made of and know what I am capable of giving.

miss 2cantango you sound as though you distrust all men -- instinctively. When you disrust the person you're having a relationship with, the other person senses it -- don't ask me how, just know it happens. You need to get more trusting. Love is like investing -- what you put in is what you get out.

Love begins to die when one partner for some reason decides h/she's more loved or deserves more attention. After some time, the second partner catches on and "retaliates" causing some "retaliation" from the first and on it goes until you have two virtual strangers who have no love for each other.

thank you Zahymaka, 2C sure i don't know you but i know what youre saying. You don't have to be touchy i don't have to know you to know what youre writing.

I am not judging you, you placed a judgement that true love does not exist, i simply disagreed with you. Your response however though tells a lot about either who you are or a reflection of what you have experienced.

Zahymaka has put it better than i have, and i agree with him. When you keep smarting and snapping at harmless comments like that, remember it takes two to tango.

True love exists, only reorientate yourself for better reception!

Lighten up nicetohave, I was just playin' with you.
I just wanted to see what type of reaction there would be if I made the statement that true love doesn't exist. Of course it exists. . . read other posts that I have made in NL and you'll see I believe in love.
So many tense people in here.

Seriously though, all I look for is respect, compassion and honesty.

my bad, perhaps i am tensed up for the coming events of the next few days.

i get you dear, Australia is such a long way off, perhaps i could have given it a shot with you just to prove you wrong

awwww poor n2h, come and give me a hug, i'll releave you of all your tension

mmm thanks, that feels good. I can feel the warmth from here

He must be[b] God fearing[/b]!

Now that's worthy of he Guiness Book of Records. A virtual cyber-space hug extending from North America to Australia. Hmmm.

i whould prefer a guy who knows wat he wants , cause some guys just dont know wat they want some of them just go with the flow , once u know wat u want am all urs cause i know wat r want n if a guy dont dont ave those qualitys i wont compromise watever, thats me