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Who Should Do More Of The Calling In A Relationship? - Romance (2) - Nairaland

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I Do All The Calling Yet She Is Insisting That She Is Still In Loves Me, How / Who Should Do The Calling??? / Who Should Do More Of The Calling In A Relationship (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Who Should Do More Of The Calling In A Relationship? by Maleeq(m): 6:08pm On Feb 09, 2012
saska1122:

When did phone calls become a measure or factor in love/relationship? Naija!!! Talking is quite different from communication!! Communication is all U need in a relationship. U can talk on phone for hours without communicating.
So the quantity doesn't matter but the quality.
Well, maybe because I started dating in the days of "No cell phones in Naija", but I had the best relationship with my 2nd gf for 6yrs. As against the BB madness of today.
Calls are important but only when necessary. When a partner makes unnecessary frequent calls, it shows a level of obsession and insecurity not necessarily LOVE.
Chop knuckle for that statement!. . .I once had a girlfriend that called to ask where I am like every other hour!!! WTF shocked

It should not be a yardstick in defining a relationship: either party can and should call when the can, when there is need!

The norm around us lately is that the guy does the calling all the time. Anything short of that sends wrong signals to the girl. And then, when the girl falls heads over heels for the guy, na she go carry call (abi na flash?) wound the guy! grin

1 Like

Re: Who Should Do More Of The Calling In A Relationship? by Nobody: 6:08pm On Feb 09, 2012
saska1122:

When did phone calls become a measure or factor in love/relationship? Naija!!! Talking is quite different from communication!! Communication is all U need in a relationship. U can talk on phone for hours without communicating.
So the quantity doesn't matter but the quality.
Well, maybe because I started dating in the days of "No cell phones in Naija", but I had the best relationship with my 2nd gf for 6yrs. As against the BB madness of today.
Calls are important but only when necessary. When a partner makes unnecessary frequent calls, it shows a level of obsession and insecurity not necessarily LOVE.

A very good reply.
Re: Who Should Do More Of The Calling In A Relationship? by Omogbhollahorn(m): 6:14pm On Feb 09, 2012
my dear it matas oooo if i  call u often and u dnt call me too dat often i wud  definitely stop calling coz its not helping and it kills d moral #shekena grin

1 Like

Re: Who Should Do More Of The Calling In A Relationship? by Koolking(m): 6:19pm On Feb 09, 2012
saska1122:

When did phone calls become a measure or factor in love/relationship? Naija!!! Talking is quite different from communication!! Communication is all U need in a relationship. U can talk on phone for hours without communicating.
So the quantity doesn't matter but the quality.
Well, maybe because I started dating in the days of "No cell phones in Naija", but I had the best relationship with my 2nd gf for 6yrs. As against the BB madness of today.
Calls are important but only when necessary. When a partner makes unnecessary frequent calls, it shows a level of obsession and insecurity not necessarily LOVE.

+100

Tell them dude. I feel bugged with frequent unnecessary calls. Phone calls distract. Personally, I don't see much calls as attestation of true love. It's easier to lie on the phone than when you communicate one-on-one with your spouse or lover. I don't believe in group mentality. Becos other girls or guys like being talked to on the phone per second does not mean I should do same. If you feel insecure about my not calling frequently (if that is the only prove of my true love to you), then it is a free world, you are free to zoom.
Re: Who Should Do More Of The Calling In A Relationship? by xynerise: 6:21pm On Feb 09, 2012
Omogbhollahorn:

my dear it matas oooo if i  call u often and u dnt call me too dat often i wud  definitely stop calling coz its not helping and it kills d moral #shekena grin

sexual morale right? undecided. See your head like ur username.
Re: Who Should Do More Of The Calling In A Relationship? by soloyes(m): 6:27pm On Feb 09, 2012
@ poster i fink it dpends on d guys' financial muscles. where it becomes bad is if d guy is bouyant but rfuses purposely to call.
Re: Who Should Do More Of The Calling In A Relationship? by sniperwolf(m): 6:46pm On Feb 09, 2012
Communication is a 2-way thing and it should be balanced. After all love is give and take. Whoever is at the receiving end only is being selfish
Re: Who Should Do More Of The Calling In A Relationship? by AMIGO112(m): 6:50pm On Feb 09, 2012
In the beginning both guy and girl call each other several times in a day; because its new love.Nobody keeps count. However at some point one person might call more; depending on how loaded he/she is. This puts a lot of pressure on most guys who think they have to be on top of "things". On the other hand, if the guy calls often, some girls (i say some o!) then drastically reduce their call rates cos they know he will surely call. This is bad. Love is like business in the sense that;you have to be smart. This is where quality comes in. when he/she calls, what do u talk about?, If you are the one that calls more and you get laid back responses that make you feel you are bugging your partner, truth is, you are probably bugging him/her. be smart and take care of your heart.
Relationships are hard. Play your part well. call when you feel like talking to the person even if he/she called you 15 minutes earlier. A friend had this as his DP today: "when you start to give too much importance to someone in your life, you tend to loose your value in their life". If you are in love, this has got to give you a little shake.

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Re: Who Should Do More Of The Calling In A Relationship? by DereI(f): 7:08pm On Feb 09, 2012
I call as much as he. The only time he reduced his calling was when we had issues, Even though he said all is well, the calls continued dropping until i confronted him and things have changed for better now. So my dear, confront him but do not start nagging and counting how many minutes you call, Just try to make him see reasons and all. And i also hope you will not come back with a new thread "Should my BF call more than i do??" grin

1 Like

Re: Who Should Do More Of The Calling In A Relationship? by angelhair(m): 7:12pm On Feb 09, 2012
My dear I am sorry to say this but you need to stop calling so much. He clearly has other plans or girls on his mind.  friend of mine had the same issue, she was always the one calling so one day she stopped. Can you believe the idiot never called again? That was how the relationship ended. The punk didnt even care. One thing about we ladies is that we take guys waaaaaaaaaay to seriously. They dont care like we do, all they think and work towards is having sex with girls not relationships so my advice is, dont call for a week and see what happens. It is all a game so dont get ur heart too involved.
Re: Who Should Do More Of The Calling In A Relationship? by ypzilanti: 7:58pm On Feb 09, 2012
Never an issue when its a genuine mature love affair. Somedays someone will call more, other days, the other person, nobody keeps count unless theres a problem in the relationship.

At beginning of a relationship though, its the one who digs the other one more that calls more.
Re: Who Should Do More Of The Calling In A Relationship? by GboyegaD(m): 8:07pm On Feb 09, 2012
Funny as most people equate calls to love. What matters like most people have stated is communication and understanding. Love is a thing of the heart and not of mouth thus, the way s/he places you in the heart is what you should be most concerned about. Sometimes, many people exergerates love like I once had a friend who was always calling his girlfriend every other minute on this promo MTN did last year where you make calls to a special person for free monthly after loading your phone to some amount. When the calls get too much, it messes up the relationship and it shows greater insecurity.

1 Like

Re: Who Should Do More Of The Calling In A Relationship? by dasparrow: 8:10pm On Feb 09, 2012
@OP
The truth of the matter is, if he is barely calling you and you are the one constantly calling him, then it means he is not that into you. A person who truly loves you and enjoys your comapanionship will make it a point of duty to call you even if it is to speak with you for just five minutes. You better wake up and smell the coffee. As a guy, I can tell you right now that the man you are with is not crazy about you. Actions always speak louder than words. Lastly, as a lady you ought to date a man that is more in love with you than you are with him. Dating a man who has a lukewarm love for you will only spell trouble down the line in the not-so-distant future. Goodluck!
Re: Who Should Do More Of The Calling In A Relationship? by Nobody: 8:40pm On Feb 09, 2012
whoever is more jobless
Re: Who Should Do More Of The Calling In A Relationship? by flexdee(m): 8:52pm On Feb 09, 2012
Anybody can call,there's no competition so its just basically whoever feels like calling should.

Its no news that most ladies in love don't know how to control their emotions,most guys on the other hand can get a grip on it,I think the main thing here should be does he appreciate those calls?and OP I guess you always call when he doesn't,that can also contribute to him not calling cos he prolly believes that,You are gonna call anyways.

You might wanna reduce the way you call and watch what happens,another thing is,does he have the means to call you as much as you want?it would be a different thing if he doesn't call at all.


Well said.
Re: Who Should Do More Of The Calling In A Relationship? by oluks05: 9:05pm On Feb 09, 2012
@pc guru lol but i do not agree
I agree with dasparrow if the guy i really into u he would call u well maybe ur frequent calls to are really bugging him so you might want to talk to him or just lay back a bit and see what happens.
Re: Who Should Do More Of The Calling In A Relationship? by kokoye(m): 9:08pm On Feb 09, 2012
juvenile deliquency,

phone calls??

I'm getting too old for Nairaland
Re: Who Should Do More Of The Calling In A Relationship? by MrsChima1(f): 9:10pm On Feb 09, 2012
kokoye:

juvenile deliquency,

phone calls??

I'm getting too old for Nairaland

Getting old? Hmm. Heey suga. kiss kiss kiss
Re: Who Should Do More Of The Calling In A Relationship? by kokoye(m): 9:32pm On Feb 09, 2012
heyy

I'm definately too old for this site, if theyre complaining of who makes the most calls

. . .how have you been??
Re: Who Should Do More Of The Calling In A Relationship? by Airtimex(m): 9:41pm On Feb 09, 2012
@poster, real love has nothing to worry about how many times your lover calls you. what matters is the heart that is calling, in most relationships gulz do more of the calling and that is the way it should be, unless the dude is still toasting you grin

1 Like

Re: Who Should Do More Of The Calling In A Relationship? by MrsChima1(f): 10:26pm On Feb 09, 2012
kokoye:

heyy

I'm definately too old for this site, if theyre complaining of who makes the most calls

. . .how have you been??

You been old 50 years. tongue tongue tongue I am doing splendid. wink

Did you have a superbowl party last Sunday?
Re: Who Should Do More Of The Calling In A Relationship? by chineds(m): 10:45pm On Feb 09, 2012
Koolking:

Dude, I now understand why you were named by forbes as the richest man alive. Your advert will definitely scale through. smh

i tire ooo. u dey make half of that amount come dey share am online? na wa to una oooo!
Re: Who Should Do More Of The Calling In A Relationship? by youngdee168(m): 11:14pm On Feb 09, 2012
It depends, but the guy is suppose to do more of the calling, but the lady can do the calling more if she is the one forcing herself on the guy.

1 Like

Re: Who Should Do More Of The Calling In A Relationship? by emiye(m): 1:27am On Feb 10, 2012
@ OP,
It should be almost equal rate, although slightly more volume of calls is expected from the guy.
You need to understand the personality of your man, What is his phone habit?
You should gradually reduce your call rate over a space of one week, and notice his reaction.
Like all human beings, we sometimes take for granted what we get simply.
Re: Who Should Do More Of The Calling In A Relationship? by mimi234: 2:13am On Feb 10, 2012
To the OP i think you should reduce the number of times you call him.

My last bf would call me very early in the morning - around the times that I'm preparing for lectures  undecided then he would call me in between lectures then he would call me around dinner time and to top it off he would then call me around 11/12am at night and we would speak all the way to around 5am. It was tooooo much I would usually fall asleep whilst talking to him.  lipsrsealed  lipsrsealed

That in itself put a strain on the relationship because when I asked him to reduce his calls he replied by saying 'you don't enjoy talking to me no more'

Very stressful relationship that was.

1 Like

Re: Who Should Do More Of The Calling In A Relationship? by mimi234: 2:17am On Feb 10, 2012
angelhair:

My dear I am sorry to say this but you need to stop calling so much. He clearly has other plans or girls on his mind.  friend of mine had the same issue, she was always the one calling so one day she stopped. Can you believe the  never called again? [b]That was how the relationship ended. [/b]The punk didnt even care. One thing about we ladies is that we take guys waaaaaaaaaay to seriously. They dont care like we do, all they think and work towards is Being Intimate with girls not relationships so my advice is, dont call for a week and see what happens. It is all a game so dont get ur heart too involved.


LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL thats too funny
Re: Who Should Do More Of The Calling In A Relationship? by InkedNerd(f): 2:34am On Feb 10, 2012
@OP: Overall, it doesn't really matter who does the calling--there are no set of rules that dictate who calls who. In your case, there may be three things going on 1) the guy isn't much of a talker on the phone or 2) He's not entirely interested in you 3) Perhaps you're calling him too much. Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you guys have to constantly call each other. I have a friend who'd go long periods of time without seeing or speaking to her boyfriend and they turned out fine.
Re: Who Should Do More Of The Calling In A Relationship? by Nobody: 3:42am On Feb 10, 2012
BOTH! Regardless of gender! Persons in a relationship must engage in constant communication, So I think!
Re: Who Should Do More Of The Calling In A Relationship? by vivicatee: 9:34am On Feb 10, 2012
thanks y'all, i really appreciate
Re: Who Should Do More Of The Calling In A Relationship? by Skyloloprince(m): 12:12pm On Feb 10, 2012
If he cals u once, he dose nt kıa bcareful, a guy who cares wıl cal u always 2knw hw ur doın,
Re: Who Should Do More Of The Calling In A Relationship? by richy5(m): 12:35pm On Feb 10, 2012
opensine:

@ OP

Calling more in a relationship shouldn't be used as a basis of love. Your guy calling you less doesn't mean he loves you less.

Re: Who Should Do More Of The Calling In A Relationship? by kpolli(m): 2:57pm On Feb 10, 2012
whoever has more credit

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