@ poster

at 25,u're still taking lesons on how to toast,hmm, its very funny.

@ poster,
Where did you pick your last girlfriend from?

"Lick 69

you are the funniest guy on nairaland - but her things she cant pronounce? that in itself is funny - can u tell us one of such things?

Next time - walk to her and ask her - can i take you to my crib, but dont mention wether completed or not - then roll your sleeves up and fly your polo - then ask her if she will ride with you in your Escalade while you spray your Christian Dior cologn to keep the air in the car neat - next splash your Raymond Weil wrist watch up and down your rolled sleeve and pretend to be checking the time - remove your dark shaded Ray Bans sun shade and pretend you want to see her closely - next move closer and let her feel see your well manicured finger nails and - wipe your face with your Gucci linen handkerchief - next raise your feet on the pavement and let her see your leather shoes - make sure is not one of those oversized snake skin shoes won by Naija boys - raise the shoes and make sure she sees them - then roll your Escalade keys in your hand and let her check out your hand chain - golden - and boy - leave the rest - you dont have to say anything again.

Some very funny shit!!!!!!


Uncompleted wetin  


Like the last poster said, for where U pick ur last girlfreind  

mrpataki:


@ poster,
Where did you pick your last girlfriend from?

why do you wanna know  

mdsocks:

why do you want to know 

Arranging Ajegunle babes is different from VI, VGC ,Maitama, Garki babes oh.

Nowadays Broads are not that hard to mack!! you just need something simple trust me homie its not as hard as you think dont be outlandish with your lyrics dawg if you dont have anything to say just tell her "i like you talk your own" naah i am just playing but for real just be yourself

LMAO lol

ok i'm done laughing

well i think you should have started by saying hello and then tell her that you are not meaning to bother her but you couldn't help yourself but to come to her to let her know that you  think she looks very beautiful this is after you have inroduced yourself. then ask for her name if she answer's you then you could ask if she was there by her self  etc just make general conversation and don't make it long because you would start to babble then say i should run but before i go could i have your number so that we could get together some time ( she may say no ) no matter what happens go from there.

Only women who are not educated want to hear about what you can buy them or about the non-completed benz you are driving women want respect and if you dont you will get shut down every time. besides you cant be talking about a benz and trips and stuff if you look like you haven't eaten in days (i'm just saying if you make claims you have to look the part) no offence.

well i think you should have started by saying hello and then tell her that you are not meaning to bother her but you couldn't help yourself but to come to her to let her know that you think[b] she looks very beautiful[/b] this is after you have

That would be an herculean task for the guy to say beautiful at first meeting

ok instead of beautiful you could say she looked "hot"

beautiful is beta than hot! @ labiyemmy u jst killed me lmao

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQ7mmMe4klQ

Call me on not nine not and we will speak nokia to nokia
Ok
meanwhile check out the link

@labiyemmy:

"Lick 69

you are the funniest guy on nairaland - but her things she can't pronounce? that in itself is funny - can u tell us one of such things?

Next time - walk to her and ask her - can i take you to my crib, but don't mention wether completed or not - then roll your sleeves up and fly your polo - then ask her if she will ride with you in your Escalade while you spray your Christian Dior cologn to keep the air in the car neat - next splash your Raymond Weil wrist watch up and down your rolled sleeve and pretend to be checking the time - remove your dark shaded Ray Bans sun shade and pretend you want to see her closely - next move closer and let her feel see your well manicured finger nails and - wipe your face with your Gucci linen handkerchief - next raise your feet on the pavement and let her see your leather shoes - make sure is not one of those oversized snake skin shoes won by Naija boys - raise the shoes and make sure she sees them - then roll your Escalade keys in your hand and let her check out your hand chain - golden - and boy - leave the rest - you don't have to say anything again.

Classic.

This thread is 100% a joke.

That did not happen becuase no exists that is that lame with lyrics.

Why dint u put this topic on JOKES,If i dont drop some words ere then you wont know how much laffta i got from you,thanks

Cos i know u jus wanted to entertain us,As for me i think u are simply kiddin

Do u stay with young people
If u stay with old nannies and daddies i can at least forgive u,But 4 you to use 'imcomplete benz' or something lyk that,men u deserve some real smacks anyhow.U hav embarrassed WORDS,infact i am pissed off^{came in ere laughing but now i understand ur lyrics,i understand what the chic suffered all the few seconds u were entertaining her}

Some of d critics here sef prolly have wackier lines in real life settings, who knows ?

THIS ONE DESERVES THE NAIRALAND AWARD FOR "TOASTER OF THE YEAR"

ABSOLUTELY DELIRIOUS

WHEN U HAVE MANY HONEYS ONLINE AND U HAVE AN INTERNET CONNECTION ,, THE TOASTING HAS ALREADY BEEN DONE IN ADVANCE BY BILL GATES 4U
AND U DONT NEEED TO USE UR NIGERIAN BROKEN ENGLISH TO DISGRACE US MEN MOST ESPECIALLY IN A CINEMA , COME TO THINK OF IT, WHICH CINEMA WAS THAT? , MAYBE I CAN STILL MEET THAT UR O BABY SUGAR THERE ? MY OWN CAR IS AN UNCOMPLETED BUNGALOW OR BETTER STILL UNDEMENTED SKYSCRAPER, THANKS FOR THE ENTERTAINMENT SHA .I DIDNT WASTE MY TIME HERE U WERE SO SWEEEEEEET AND FUN TO LAUGH AT ! OSHE BABAMI MEANING THANK U DADDY

tommyex:

Why dint u put this topic on JOKES,If i don't drop some words ere then you wont know how much laffta i got from you,thanks

Cos i know u jus wanted to entertain us,As for me i think u are simply kiddin

Do u stay with young people
If u stay with old nannies and daddies i can at least forgive u,But 4 you to use 'imcomplete benz' or something like that,men u deserve some real smacks anyhow.You hav embarrassed WORDS,infact i am pissed off^{came in ere laughing but now i understand your lyrics,i understand what the chic suffered all the few seconds u were entertaining her}

haba, tommysexy, that is harsh na. the guy asked for help!!!!!

Mc Omo:

Some of d critics here sef prolly have wackier lines in real life settings, who knows ?

truth,

Hi naira guyz,toasting a gal has notin 2 do with lectures.it flows naturally if ure uyz really sees what it likes.unless ure a playa.4real

hey lick, i guess the guys have already dealt with this topic but i must confess that you reminded me of my ss1 days cos thats when i was still a novice. i kept disturbing a friend of mine to teach me the moves,now he comes to me for advice based on r/ships. good luck man.

haba!!! what more can i say, my ribs are cracked already, but guy you yab oh, so if the babe fell for those lines, you would have felt good with yourself. try looking into a mirror and repeating those lines to yourself. if you can fall for them, then you have arrived,
today we teach you how to toast babe and tomorrow what else will you come back asking to learn?? , let it flow naturally, and if you dont have the lines, then ure not ready for a relationship,

lol

to be candidly frank and honest with you, you do not need any lessons or lectures on "lyrics" to as it were  "toast" any girl per se. just relax, breathe in [very deep], be confident [no matter your class or status] and i mean it, step up forward to her and express yourself in your best way possible with no one-liners at all  i actually have done the above and it worked like magic for me. people fret for what is actually right on their laps and that i find very amusing 

we gas wi that tin

@alabiyemmy
you no well.

hi next time you in the cinema ? just walk up to her and say hi do you enjoy the show ? if her response says yes, well just look at her 3seconds and say to her,  hey you woar your make-up wrongly somewhere here and she will be move to say hey where can you show me and just laugh and say you only joking,  bet me she's going to laugh and just tell her that nice markup anyway, and what does it take to have you as a conpanion or what you say wder best friend or thereabout bet she go tell you and when u ask after the number she go give you. from there e don bi come your own,   thats all

smartsoft:

hi next time you in the cinema ? just walk up to her and say hi do you enjoy the show ? if her response says yes, well just look at her 3seconds and say to her, hey you woar your make-up wrongly somewhere here and she will be move to say hey where can you show me and just laugh and say you only joking, bet me she's going to laugh and just tell her that nice markup anyway, and what does it take to have you as a conpanion or what you say wder best friend or thereabout bet she go tell you and when u ask after the number she go give you. from there e don bi come your own, thats all

Say it loud bro!

All my nigas in the house, why not endevour to help the dud instead of making matter worst and allowing all the eves in the house to laugh their ass out !,
MY guy, when next you make an atempt you can try something like this,
helo black angel,permit me to say that i have no syntila or histronic intention if i disclose to you that an head-over heel in unalloyed allusion over your hyper-mesmerism. :

@poster

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! wow thats a master piece of shame
and here I thought the world had lost its sense of humour

hi next time you in the cinema ? just walk up to her and say hi do you enjoy the show ? if her response says yes, well just look at her 3seconds and say to her, hey you woar your make-up wrongly somewhere here and she will be move to say hey where can you show me and just laugh and say you only joking, bet me she's going to laugh and just tell her that nice markup anyway, and what does it take to have you as a conpanion or what you say wder best friend or thereabout bet she go tell you and when u ask after the number she go give you. from there e don bi come your own, thats all

Another 1908 tactics!

laughing my eyes off