geoash:

All my nigas in the house, why not endevour to help the dud instead of making matter worst and allowing all the eves in the house to laugh their ass out !,
MY guy, when next you make an atempt you can try something like this,
helo black angel,permit me to say that i have no syntila or histronic intention if i disclose to you that an head-over heel in unalloyed allusion over your hyper-mesmerism. :

Is this another toastin style?

God save us all.
@Easybaby
U said it all. Though I don't think toastin a lady requires any in-class lecture oooooooooo. It all depends on mood or should I say circumstance u found ursleves,

Just make her laugh and that' all!!!!!!!!!!!!! say funny things. I hardly toast girls. I only show them attention: Just be very caring and naturally they will fall for you soul, spirit and body. Simple style man!

Smartsoft
Dude you just made matters worse
If you ever drive on 3rd mainland and see this guy trying to jump off . . . just let him be ok
Dont make matters worse

very funny thread,ave been laughing my ribs out

@ poster

i neva knew that we are now in the era where guys receive lectures to woo a lady

@poster

you're lucky she only laughed. Even if miss world should ask me out in those exact words, she go chop slap.

this shit is funny as hell.
this guy is one outdated fellow.
what you need to do is to converse with her and get her to laugh alot and you'll be getting her number at the end of the day.
my grandmorther would have chased you from the start .

my grandmorther would have chased you from the start .

lol

Funny thread

u knw one thing i av noticed on nairaland? when ever someone comes here to seek for help or tell the forum something, people come up with one negative comments or the other and say funny things as if they have never been that road b4

my take is that my man u aint outdated, girls fall for anything u tell them if they like u it doesnt matter what u say to them. as per the girl u met at the cinema, u shld have talked to her without asking her out just get to knw her and maybe exchange numebrs and then call and get friendly set up a date and wont lie to u if she comes, the things u said to her on that day will, she hear u out rather than behave the way she did at the cinema

i knw alot of guys(me inclusive) that have said many meaningless to chiks and the chik fell because she developed interest before the guy said anything to them. i can remember vividly not saying any meaningful thing to a babe and she still liked me because she developed interest first and that happened because i developed the friendship first rather than go for the broke immediately

denex:

@poster

you're lucky she only laughed. Even if miss world should ask me out in those exact words, she go chop slap.

lmao
In strict sense, if it were miss world i know this dude will jump @ d oppurtunity

lol mellow laughing my cute humps off

Na Wah oooo

Bros u no even realoise say we don dey computer age wey u dey use Village headmaster toasting lines to take catch woman.

Sorry for you but i think u'll be single for a very long time!!!!! tehehehehe

Cheers
Oluyele

@ Poster,
Thanks for starting my week on such a hilarious note. I am a lady and would definitely have laughed if a guy approached me and said the things you did. Cos I would have thought he was trying to make me laugh.
My advice ( as a babe) is keep things simple. You could start with a compliment and then strike up a conversation from there.
Good luck in your future toasting endeavours

sweetchick:

@ Poster,
Thanks for starting my week on such a hilarious note. I am a lady and would definitely have laughed if a guy approached me and said the things you did. Cos I would have thought he was trying to make me laugh.
My advice ( as a babe) is keep things simple. You could start with a compliment and then strike up a conversation from there.
Good luck in your future toasting endeavours

Nice tips

u knw one thing i av noticed on nairaland? when ever someone comes here to seek for help or tell the forum something, people come up with one negative comments or the other and say funny things.

you  are quite correct  

@poster

I'm sure even a "wuss" will laugh at you. but one thing is clear, some don't even have that courage to walk up to a lady & express how they feel. so keep it up!
Your inability to chat a girl up intelligently can be excused we all have different backgrounds(especially those that spent their teenage years under strict surveillance of parents who see mingling with opposite sex as teenagers immoral) I don't know exactly what your case is but it is obvious you are far behind.
I am not trying to prove any point or claim i know too much as some (fools) might thing, but i hope my contributions go a long way.

*change your orientation totally, you don't "toast" a lady, you (pull) attraction.
*I personally believe to get a positive response, you need strike each lady u come across differently.
* Not all ladies will say yes, this does not make you a failure.  So just be natural, hit with something realistic.

1)You could have Started with the movie you'd just seen, Obviously she would be a fool to have paid to get in if she doesn't like movies!

2)ask questions she will have no choice than to reply subconsciously, eg i love music,   only a sadist hates music, therefore the answer?   me too!

3)I like your dress, its got my favorite colour(e.g blue).  Obviously she wouldn't buy it if she hates the colour. Therefore the answer?     oh! i love colour blue as-well.  e.t.c

Be creative, think of realistic things other than directly saying you are beautiful, you must have fallen from heaven, all this she must have heard about 20x the same morning. (even less pretty girls get showered with compliments)

All these sounds too simple, but they pass on compliment, makes you look less like a pest seeking contact number, but rather a friendly stranger who deserves a chance, also it conveys a psychological message, which is (WE SHARE SOMETHING IN COMMON)

MAKE IT BRIEF, hit the button, (aks 4 number indirectly)   e.g since we both like music (comedy e.t.c), perhaps we could go to a concert (see some comedy, go 4 a drink e.t.c) together someday.   Here, you sound friendly and less desperate, subcontiously she says yes, then asking for her number can be justified!

this thread is too funny to be true

Me I just say some cool classy stuff like I wanna put my zoom zoom in your boom boom, how's about it? and wink.

lol Nah seriously just make her laugh. I always try to make my first few comments elicit some laughter or at least a smile.

And pls pls don't use chat up lines. I hear they cause cancer!

good luck amigo - lets hear some success stories soon!

mellow:

If I say I won't laufg you guys say I must laugh.


ROFLMFAO[/color][color=#990000][/color][color=#990000]

  PLEASE MAY I KNOW WHAT "ROFLMFAO" AND "IMAO" MEANS?

ST3V3:

@poster

I'm sure even a "wuss" will laugh at you. but one thing is clear, some don't even have that courage to walk up to a lady & express how they feel. so keep it up!
Your inability to chat a girl up intelligently can be excused we all have different backgrounds(especially those that spent their teenage years under strict surveillance of parents who see mingling with opposite sex as teenagers immoral) I don't know exactly what your case is but it is obvious you are far behind.
I am not trying to prove any point or claim i know too much as some (fools) might thing, but i hope my contributions go a long way.

*change your orientation totally, you don't "toast" a lady, you (pull) attraction.
*I personally believe to get a positive response, you need strike each lady u come across differently.
* Not all ladies will say yes, this does not make you a failure. So just be natural, hit with something realistic.

1)You could have Started with the movie you'd just seen, Obviously she would be a fool to have paid to get in if she doesn't like movies!

2)ask questions she will have no choice than to reply subconsciously, eg i love music, only a sadist hates music, therefore the answer? me too!

3)I like your dress, its got my favorite colour(e.g blue). Obviously she wouldn't buy it if she hates the colour. Therefore the answer? oh! i love colour blue as-well. e.t.c

Be creative, think of realistic things other than directly saying you are beautiful, you must have fallen from heaven, all this she must have heard about 20x the same morning. (even less pretty girls get showered with compliments)

All these sounds too simple, but they pass on compliment, makes you look less like a pest seeking contact number, but rather a friendly stranger who deserves a chance, also it conveys a psychological message, which is (WE SHARE SOMETHING IN COMMON)

MAKE IT BRIEF, hit the button, (aks 4 number indirectly) e.g since we both like music (comedy e.t.c), perhaps we could go to a concert (see some comedy, go 4 a drink e.t.c) together someday. Here, you sound friendly and less desperate, subcontiously she says yes, then asking for her number can be justified!

So far, i think u've got the best reply.

All these nairalanders go kill person o

God I will never pay to watch comedians on stage if I get a dose of stuffs like this every now and then.
Dude you have balls to spill this shit to us dude you fucking rock.
I guess that laughter will stick in your memory like fossil on rocks
You've gotten enough wonderful advice now use your guts
Go back to the same girl I think now she'll appreciate you lots

Do it with style I think she'll love it

come on poster, did u really rap all those lines? or u just wanna make us laugh and then get some stuff for your book.

Boy! u got me reeling with laughter. Una no go kill me for here o!

This na the BOMB.

Now if u must know the truth. U don't need any other tactics. For making the girl laugh is a enough for u to have won her. What u did really got the girl's attention and u would have continued from there. She would have love to hear more from u and b4 u know it, U are already exchanging phone numbers.

To be frank with u, I am going to use this ur tactics. It is a master piece.

I am still laughing.

I FEEL U ECHEZZ , I TOUT AS MUCH COS I RILLY CANT IMAGINE IN OUR PRESENT GENERATION SOMEONE WOUD RAP SUCH SHIT. MAKE BE 2 MAKE UR BOOK LIVLY BUT ITZ NICE , N FUNNY ENOF. I THTINK SHE RILLY DIDNT LAUGH . COS IF I WERE DERE I'D COS A SCENE.

SABMACK UVE GOT A POINT HERE

MAKIN D CHICK LAUGH I TINK IS ENOF 2 GET HERE. TOKIN. EVEN IF SHE WALKED OUTTA U . I TINK ITZ A MATTER I.Q

ol'boy, your ID name dey follow you ', 69', that how i expect the sharpest guy to behave in the late 60s.

ol'boy, your ID name dey follow you ', 69', that how i expect the sharpest guy to behave in the late 60s.

Alright! Enough you amateurs. Let me break this shit down so that it will be once and forever broke.

Next time you see a girl you like (anywhere) walk up to her and say "Alright, stop."

Then as soon as she stops and turns to you, frown for a second and pause.
Keeping the same serious face suddenly start doing running man and go:

All right stop collaborate and listen
Ice is back with my brand new invention,
Something grabs a hold of me tightly
Flow like a harpoon daily and nightly, etc etc

She'll love you for it. I promise,

u 4 just kidnap the babe.

sabmack:

Boy! u got me reeling with laughter. Una no go kill me for here o!

This na the BOMB.

Now if u must know the truth. You don't need any other tactics. For making the girl laugh is a enough for u to have won her. What u did really got the girl's attention and u would have continued from there. She would have love to hear more from u and before u know it, You are already exchanging phone numbers.

To be frank with u, I am going to use this your tactics. It is a master piece.

I am still laughing.

i go with u on this one!
whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!u got her laffing and u buckled.that was ur best chance at making a recovery meeeeeeen!


but,chei my guy!if i was the girl,am gonna be laffing for 15 mins straight,

then apart from that ;
firstly,free ur mind,dont think of anything line of wot to say,i can assure u that a start up line is always on the girl;necklace,shoes,make-up,clothes,hand-bag etc and a million other things.
but am gonna try this ur line,its just tooo sweet