what led to your break up with him/her

Hi people,

I am opening this thread so that those who are out of a relationship can share their grief/joy & experiences.  We want to know (briefly) what led to the break up!
In your innermost thots; do you want him/her back?

Experienced people are welcome to give suggestions on "where we went wrong & how to make it rosy once again."

Do I start?

ok let me think.......he was so nice in the beginning i was doubting if he was real, few months after we started dating, i discovered he was into marijuana {gosh! i dint know how to turn my back, because i was so crazy about him} he told me he wanted to stop, so we were working on it { i discovered later on, i was the one working on it, he wasn't helping himself} when we re together, his marijuana never makes him misbehave, but if we re on phone, he would pick quarrels .. i began to see two personalites.. he went further by cheating on me {for his so called brief fling} claiming i was too busy a lady for him.....
he was very selfish & very proud... after some times, i couldn't stand it anymore.. i summoned the courage that has been eluding me all da while & called the damn romance OFF.....
he pleaded for some time & got fed up...........he was good riddance to bad rubbish......
in my innermost thots, do i want him back? never

She is probably the most materialistic woman God ever made. When I was in Lagos (she stays in Lagos) my salary never seemed to be enough, then I got a new job and moved to Abuja...

She came to see me here and after 2 nights, my friends had to advice me (like I needed the advice, I had had enough) to get rid of her. She made the job easier by jumping into bed with some other fellow.

Do I want her back? If a relationship is just about sex, definitely (she's a wild one), otherwise, hell no!

Pinky, you just want to an open wound.
I've shared part of it.

i was into a relationship back when I was in school, the lady I loved so mush. I will never speak bad of her. She has everything you can think of a woman. She's from a well to do family though but she doesn't brag about it despite the fact that I came from parents who are teachers he was respecting me i mean respect.

Anytime her brother sends her money from abroad she would let me know and give me 2/3 of the total money sent and upon that she buys my wears, buys food for me and at times, not always, cooks for me, telling to concentrate on my studies. Infact she treats me like a real husband. We had the vision and we were working towards that.
To cut things short, her parents wants her to travel abroad after her education here in Nigeria.

She told her dad she will want to introduce her would be hus, this scared me when he told me.
She wanted to marry after her graduation before embarking on any journey according to her if at all she will go. she was not intoxicated to travel and never excited her.

I called her and told her about my background, that my parents will want me to look for job first and help them train my younger ones so marriage was not going to be visible.

She was shedding tears and I was even more emotional even now.
When she discovered that I was not bending, she was not coming to me as usual. I told her friends and my friends talked to her she said she had a target for herself and not ready to play games with her future.

I summoned courage to travel to the village in order to get my parents informed, when I got home it was my mother first, she did help us to perfect our strategy before our dad.
After telling her she told me my father's aim was far different. she told she was helpless to help sell this idea to my dad.
I then gave up and went to to appeal to exercise a little patience at least to let me get job first.
All pleas hit the rock.
So she left, she only visited me when my friend told her I was sick. She came with provisions, cards and all the likes.
I still pleaded on my sick bed, and told there was nothing serious, she said I was the one holding the relationship.
After some months she surfaced asking me whether i was ready and I still mentained No!
Her parents were ready to finance this wedding but what of after wedding? Who will be feeding the family?

A year later she found another person who was so lucky to take her to an alter.
With agony of mind i was in this wedding, it surprised you?
I loved her. But I was not able to stay longer than necessary, I could not withstand them exchanging rings and cutting cakes. I left earlier in the church service. I dropped my gifts to a friend to help me present it to her.

To cut it short, we met few years ago at Convention ground in Lagos so amazing with her beautiful kids, a boy and a girl. They are pretty childen. thank God I had money on me i gave the kids some money and she said "Hun the money I was afraid of is what I am now spending for another man's kids instead of mine" It touched me i left the place than expected. though we exchange phone number and e mail adds. She's currently in US with her husband. she still calls and I do too. the family paid me a visit before they travelled. But i do not know whether she actuall told her husband about me. The hus knows me as a friend. they are born again and the family is great,doing well.
But I wish to say hi to them when next i travel.
Till today it's not being thesame.
So guys hold your baby tight because what you do not value another man is ready to die for her.

How i wish.......................................well i'm catching one soonest. I'm just believing God.........................................

Heya! Peter pele o!
This thread is turning to an emotional one o!

As for me, I've never broken any relationship till date so I don't know how it feels...

More stories plzzzz!

Mamba, Oh I pray you never have one. It's so painful especially when both of you were in good terms but got knocked out by an uncontrollable circumstance.

But I believe the wound will heal soon when I hook up a big fish. On the march again.

Read......................and say something

We started quite well. The first few months were worth the sacrifice. It was my first relationship. I didn't love him at first, but because I wanted the relationship to work out, I gave my all, I believed I was going to love him someday. My family knows him, they know his intentions as well.

Premarital sex was completely ruled out. After about 15 months, he started requesting for sex, I politely turned him down. Then comes suspicion, distrust. He thought I was cheating on him. He watches every step I take, he checks my mails, chat with my friends to see if there is anything serious going on between me and my chat pals. I was still holding on thinking he would grow up.

You know what his problem was? Because I refused to have sex with him, he thought I didn't love him, he got too wild for me to handle. He pushed me to the wall. He called me names on a particular day; that was the day I decided to put an end to this hell of a relationship. Afterall, I'm not crazy about him, why should he push me that far? I told him to keep off me, that I needed sometime to figure out some things, that was how I ended it all up.

He still wants me back, even uptil now, but if you ask me, Hell No!!! Going back would mean ruining my dream of having a happy family life.

I'm very much afraid now to go into a relationship because I don't want to come across some body like that in my life again, ever ever........

Any advise for me...............

Ejyro,

I'm convinced that you made the right decision, but I'm concerned about something: why were you in a relationship if you didn't really love your man? I mean, why would you want to spoil your chance of meeting someone you would really love by being "in a relationship" with someone you don't love?

I know you're not the only one who does this but I don't get this aspect of your story!

eyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

laide, i feel so much for you oooo. Cheer up gurl. If he can tell you that, then he doesn't deserve you. Why cry over him, he's not worth it. I know you love him but you have to move on, it's not the end of the world. A guy like that is not deserve to be loved by any woman. He's so cruel. Forget him please........think about what you are doing to yourself.

I pray that Almighty God gives you the strength to move on. cheers!!!

Seun,

I honestly cannot tell you why i did that. I was not experienced, besides, someone once told me that it is the love of the guy that matters (it's better for the guy to love the gurl than for the gurl to love the guy when he does not love her) Like I said, I thought my feelings for him would change as I got to know him.

You are right about something here Seun, I know have lost so many chances of meeting my mr. right but I'm sure by the grace of God that it's not too late.

Great Peter, Laideo and Ejyro!

I feel you all! Cheer up and take heart, i see light at the end of the tunnel for you. Dissapointment is inevitable in life but they are there to strengthen us and make us better pple.

So never worry! It is well with you.

Breakup of my last relationship? You dont really want to know do you? Certainly not.

Laide, you didn't tell us anything that might have led to the break-up.

"Ejyro":
Someone once told me that it is the love of the guy that matters (it's better for the guy to love the girl than for the girl to love the guy when he does not love her)

So they say, but ejiro listen, when one starts to think like that, it's called selfishness.  Most ladies say it because they think they will be comfortable in a relationship where the guy cares for them & they don't.  It's all because they think they can easily drop the guy when they're fed up without being hurt

Dont be surprised guys also say it's better for the girl to love the guy (when he does not love her) all this re said as a result of selfishness & insecurity on the parts of males & females.

Dablessed thank you for consoling us.
We've put this at our back and now ready to move on.
Every disappointment is a blessing in disguise so they said.

Thanks for being there always to support in kind.

Dablessed, thanks alot for cheering us up. It's really nothing to worry about.

I'd like to read your own story, do you mind?

"Pinky":
So they say, but ejiro listen, when one starts to think like that, it's called selfishness. Most ladies say it because they think they will be comfortable in a relationship where the guy cares for them & they don't. It's all because they think they can easily drop the guy when we're fed up without being hurt

Dont be surprised guys also say it's better for the girl to love the guy (when he does not love her) all this re said as a result of selfishness & insecurity on the parts of males & females.

Pinky, in this case, who is said to be selfish among them? Is it the person that Loves or the one that doesn't love

The person that doesn't love but, is staying in the relationship for the sake of her own convenience!

sorry to all of you.

Ejyro, i really dont mind to share mine but i'm just not in the right frame of mind to do same.

Many thanks.

Me thinks..

Atimes, it's unhealthy to revisit pain....



Saint...

I have not had any sylistic breakup that is worth sharing.

But I do not break up with any lady. I let'em break up and away with me on their own accord cos I can bear the pain and nurse the pain quicker than them.

For you all suffering heartbreak.

Take heart.

Another heart and forget about the already broken heart. It is irreparable

You can learn from this! Do you want to become Miss world,Nigeria,Tourist? Name it, via dubious means then read this, it might backfire!.

Beauty queen, boyfriend fight dirty
By Kayode Fayemi
Sunday, July 17, 2005



•Shirley
National Index
The once secret romance between Mr. Elkanah Mowarin, Chief Executive Officer, EOM Business Network and Shirley Aghotse which eventually set the stage for the ultimate emergence of the latter as the reigning Miss Tourism, has hit the rocks.
Mowarin was the pageant’s corporate consultant.

Interestingly, both ex- love-birds are of Urhobo ethnic stock.
Signs that their relationship has hit the rock emerged last Sunday when Mowarin’s Festac Town, Lagos home was stormed by a detachment of policemen, accompanied by the tourism reigning queen and her mother, ostensibly to retrieve her belongings.

Unfortunately, they met a brick-wall as Elkanah was not in town.
In separate interviews with Sunday Sun at the weekend, a furious Mowarin and heart-broken Shirley sang different tunes.
In the cell-phone chat, Mowarin blamed all on his ex’ friend (name withheld).

His words: "It was all her (Shirley’s friend’s) handiwork. After she was removed as the pageant manager by Nike Agunbiade, she felt the best way for her to get even was to influence Shirley negatively.
"Go and ask Nike Agunbiade why she removed her (Shirley’s friend). She was taking Shirley around to meet men under the guise of soliciting funds. One of such persons they went to was Jimoh Ibrahim. Everything was just fine until she began to manipulate the young girl."
Responding, Shirley asserted: "Me I no care again oh. You (Sunday Sun reporter) can go and write whatever you want. I will not be the first queen that will be dethroned."

Switching to pidgin, she added: "But just help me beg Elkanah make him allow me carry my passport. If they dethrone me, I go simply relocate abroad. A beg, I don tire for this kind wahala. Wetin?"
In her own comment, Shirley’s mother (Mrs. Aghotse), called the EOM boss unprintable names, accusing him of being a desperado, asking rhetorically: "Na by force person dey marry woman?"
When contacted, Mrs. Agunbiade pleaded for time before issuing a statement. Her words: "You see, I’m in Abuja right now, and I don’t know what is going on. Call me in a week’s time, by then I would have made an enquiry."

But defending herself, Shirley’s friend said:
"Elkanah should be ashamed of himself. A 40 year old man, who would soon be 41, giving such a young girl all these stress. Can you imagine that he has seized the girl’s clothes and official car which is parked in his compound?
"You know what really pained Shirley most? Her passport that is in her luggage. She was supposed to present it at the embassy, but he has refused to give it to her.

"Also, Governor Gbenga Daniel (of Ogun State) invited Shirley to the Miss Gateway beauty pageant and because she had no clothes to wear, she cannot go. You can see how heartless Elkanah is treating a 23 year-old girl like this. A girl young enough to be her 10th sister.
"Elkanah would be posing that he has spent so much on this girl, but let me tell you, there was a time that Elkanah was so broke he could not even buy fuel for his car. At that time, Shirley’s mum gave her 1,500 pound sterling. And can you believe that Elkanah took 1,000 pounds out of the money and up until now, he has not returned it?"

Genesis
Investigations by the Sunday Sun revealed that Elkanah met Shirley in 2004 shortly after the zonal finals of the Miss Tourism pageant in Lagos, which Shirley incidentally lost. Apparently cashing in on the opportunity of Shirley’s abysmal performance at the event, Elkanah made overtures to her and she accepted.
Sunday Sun reliably learnt that Elkanah, desperate to see Shirley crowned the queen, facilitated her participation in the Osun State zonal finals, even when she had previously lost at one of the zonal competitions. There, Shirley came tops before she surprisingly emerged as the overall winner in a grand finale that took place in Abuja.
Elkanah’s relationship with the tourism queen was apparently further consolidated with a visit to Shirely’s mother, an indication that marriage was on the cards.
Right from the outset, Elkanah had impressed it on Shirley that he was not out for a fling and Shirley was said to have agreed willfully. Sources close to Elkanah also hinted that Shirley’s mum not only gave her nod, but her blessing to the relationship, excited afterall, that not many girls are that fortunate to snag a multi-millionaire, and a good-looking one at that.

The moving in
During the build-up to the grand finale of the beauty pageant, Mowarin was said to have lavished hundreds of thousands of Naira on Shirley’s costumes as well as "tushing" her up in order to triumph at the Abuja finals.
Against all odds, Shirley later emerged as the first ever Miss Tourism queen, bagging a Hyundai salon car, as well as other mouth-watering gifts.
Apparently to guarantee absolute custody of his "investment", not too long after, sources said, Elkanah, a smart Warri dude, invited Shirley to move into his palatial Festac Duplex, a gesture the newly crowned queen could not resist. Speedily, she obliged.

The consultant as lover boy
Elkanah somewhat sweet-talked the Nike Agunbiade-led Miss Tourism organisation into appointing him as the organisation’s corporate consultant, a request that was readily granted.
With Elkanah’s good relationship with the media, in no time at all, Shirley was launched from obscurity into limelight overnight.
Until the romance turned sour penultimate Sunday, hardly could one open a magazine or a newspaper without a mention being made about the new queen.
For a while, everything went smoothly but like all good things, it finally came to an end July 3.

Bubble burst
The first tell-tale sign that there was a crack in the secret romance came to the fore in June 21 when the beauty queen first attempted to remove her personal effects from Mowarin’s home.
Agitated brothers of the E.O.M’s CEO had promptly alerted him on the queen’s moves, to which Elkanah reportedly ordered them to stall her move pending his return from a business trip to Osun State.
Meanwhile, Elkanah was said to have got in touch with her immediately, trying to ascertain why she wanted to move out of their love nest.
It was then that Shirley dropped the bombshell.
She reportedly told Elkanah that she was fed up with the relationship and that she needed space to get her bearings and to ruminate on the relationship.

The freeze
When it dawned on the smart bachelor dude that Shirley was beating a retreat, he reportedly instructed his brothers to grant her leave, provided she took nothing of the hundreds of thousands of Naira worth of luxury items he had lavished on her while the going was good.
Shirley, Sunday Sun gathered, was hamstrung, in the sense that she came into Elkanah’s life with virtually nothing, save the clothes she wore on the day Elkanah first courted her.


Urhobo Wayo vs Urhobo Wayo
Shirley, upon being informed by Elkanah’s order, promptly enlisted the assistance of her mother, who followed her to Elkanah’s house. Oddly enough, Elkanah’s brother would not open the door for her. She was left with no option than to sleep in the Miss Tourism official car right on Elkanah’s doorstep.
When Elkanah eventually returned from his trip, friends of the lovebirds were said to have waded into the matter, imploring Mowarin to overlook his younger lover’s misdemeanor, and allow the 23-year-old queen move back into his house and life.
Love-struck Elkanah was said to have agreed to the settlement and he allowed the beauty queen to move in. But if there was peace after the mediation, it was fleeting.

Titanic finally succumbed
Hardly had Shirley moved in than she again demanded that she be allowed to pack her things and leave much to the chagrin of Mowarin, who had earlier allegedly suffered a similar fate in the hands of his ex-lover, one Vivien Joseph, who dumped him a couple of years back.

That incident, Mowarin’s friends claimed, taught him a bitter lesson never to allow any lady take him for a ride again.
With both parties’minds made up, it was obvious that the relationship, like the ill-fated luxury liner, The Titanic, had capsized and was sinking so fast.
On July 5, Shirley and her mother reportedly stormed Elkanah’s Surulere, Lagos office, with the aim of heckling him to allow Shirley leave with all her things.

But like the biblical King Pharaoh, Elkanah would not allow her go.
Determined, mother and daughter and her friend took the battle to Elkanah’s residence last Sunday. But the lover-boy was not in town.
Acting on a tip-off, Sunday Sun undercover reporter had laid an "ambush" before the drama started.

The drama
Early that Sunday morning, Shirley, her mother, friend and some other well wishers, encamped right on Ekkanah’s doorstep, but as fate would have it, the EOM president was not at home.
After waiting for hours without seeing Mowarin’s "break light", a battle strategy was devised and it was agreed that Shirley’s mum and friend should enlist the police support to make Elkanah "see reason."
Shortly after they left, Sunday Sun reporter drove in, and for close to one hour, was an eyewitness to the love gone sour.

Around 4.50p.m, Shirley’s mother, her friend and two plain-clothes policemen, drove into the street in a light blue Peugeot 505 salon car with the registration number A5771 MUS, and headed for Elkanah’s house.
Suddenly at about 5.05pm, there was a cacophony of noises, punctuated by the ferocious barking of Mowarin’s huge Alsatian guard dogs. Shortly afterwards, Mowarin’s niece strolled out of the house and headed out.

Some 5 minutes later, she returned with the Estate’s uniformed security men.
A couple of minutes after the niece and the security guys came in, there were more angry exchanges inside the compound and thereafter, Shirley, her mother, friend and the plain-clothes policemen emerged.
The beauty queen, now sporting some wild pimples on both cheeks, looked quite regal in a white-flowing boubou and black pants complete with high-heeled shoes.
Meanwhile, the battle to retrieve her belongings from Elkanah’s house continues.

It really sounds like Sun story.

Love gone sour accompanied by a public display of selfishness and immaturity.

wish'em happy make up.

But if not, let'em take a new heart and forget about the old broken irreparable heart.

Yes! Krix it was culled from Sun newspaper.

"Ejyro":
Pinky, in this case, who is said to be selfish among them? Is it the person that Loves or the one that doesn't love

the one that doesn't love..... just like seun said

...painful stories but please makesure they do not become soul ties.

If l may ask, how risky can it be calling an "ex-relationship" like a close friend even though you know this one is "gone"and you are not yet in another relationship?

We were more than lovers. We were very, very close and really fond of each other. I was so much in love. I loved him and he loved me too. There was something he did one night that I would never forget.

We were at a pub when it started raining heavily. I was so cold, I started shivering. He offered me his shirt but I refused it. The car was parked faraway. He tried cuddling me, but it did not help. He had no choice than to go thru the rain, so he could bring the car nearer. I didn't want him to go cos like I said earlier, the rain was so heavy.

But he went, and he brought the car nearer. I managed to get in without getting soaked.

He was everything I ever wanted in a man. He used to pick me up every morning to the office and then drop me off at home in the evening. We were always together. Words alone cannot describe our feelings for each other.

I loved him to such an extent that the day I caught him cheating on me, (I never gave in to sex) I forgave him.

Then this friend of mine came from nowhere to destroy that friendship, that togetherness, that love . She had a wild crush on him.

Then one night, while we were arguing, while I was trying to make him see that the lady was going to do anything to get him, he told me "Tayo, it is over".

Just like that?? . I couldn't take it and I suffered for so many weeks. The heartache, the pain, the memories of the good times we shared together. But it had to end.

Do I still want him?? NO!

Holy $h!t tayo. He is jerk and an asshole. I am glad you don't want him anymore. Sorry. i hope you are okay now?

Peter you story is ......infact sorry. awwww.. I feel you man.

I really feel for greatpeter too. It's such a pity. Hotangel tx, am ok.

you are welcome.