My first year of marriage was HELL. We fought over EVERYTHING. We dated for about 3 yrs b4 we got married so I thot I knew him. We gought physically 2ce that year and I was pregnant. My pregnancy was emotionally tasking and I tried to explain this to him but because he is so headstrong and thinks he knows everything he didn't listen to me or understand my pain. We were a pair and we used to go EVERYWHERE together till his stewpid friends started to say things like, "how you go carry ur wife go club" and all sorts of rubbish. Then I started to see messages, and I even picked d phone from one Jane girl. Imagine trying to talk to someone who just doesn't listen! I get crase b4 and I called d girl and gave her serious warning. Then I saw condom in his trousers! That one I no kuku bother to confront him, just shook my head and nodded at his stewpid explanations.
One day after another serious physical fight, I packed out of the house. I didn't thinl he would even look for me.. I left town, turned off my phones and did not read emails. The man went around calling all my friends and family looking for me. After 2 weeks of pleading I went home and that was last time we had a physical fight. For his infidelity, I am yet to come to terms with what he did. I can see him trying to change, coming home straight from work, not seeing those friends anymore and putting in more effort to make it work and drawing closer to God. I'm being positive about it all and lookiNg to Him.

My first year was fun. We didn't ave much but, we still managed to get along.
Somehow, we neva really had any serious quarrel or issues... Weneva we did, we settled it via text msgs... Which is like our mode of settling most quarrels.
Above all, we were just plainly in love n enjoyed eachodas coy! He isn't d food type(mi inclusive) so, didn't really have to broda much with cookin n all...
We both work in a Bank on d island, so, our coming n going was and is togeda. Somehow, we ave managed to understand ourselves better and nothing ever seem to trouble us.
Yes, we ave our good days n bad days, bt, I believe we've had more good days dan bad.
With d cutest babyboy who has joined our click, life can only get better!!!

nice thread Well my first year was nice no problems at all and still after nine years we have not had a major fight. He is just peaceful like that. We got married early I was 19 and he was 23, both of us in school so we were like boyfriend and girlfriend in a way. We lived in a school dorm, we did not cook, clean or anything that married people usually do. But when my in laws visited they said we have to stop living liking student and start thinking like adult since I was expecting our first child. so we moved out of campus dorms rented an apartment and our married life begin. we don't have family here and neither do we have friends that we hang out with often so it's only the two of us and our 2 beautiful boys. I think because of this closeness our marriage was able to survive the first year's troubles and it's still going strong.

BahPulo: nice thread Well my first year was nice no problems at all and still after nine years we have not had a major fight. He is just peaceful like that. We got married early I was 19 and he was 23, both of us in school so we were like boyfriend and girlfriend in a way. We lived in a school dorm, we did not cook, clean or anything that married people usually do. But when my in laws visited they said we have to stop living liking student and start thinking like adult since I was expecting our first child. so we moved out of campus dorms rented an apartment and our married life begin. we don't have family here and neither do we have friends that we hang out with often so it's only the two of us and our 2 beautiful boys. I think because of this closeness our marriage was able to survive the first year's troubles and it's still going strong.

OMG what a cute love story.

rokiatu:

OMG what a cute love story.

lol thank you yeah people around us call us 'ton pied mon pied' meaning your foot my foot whereever u see one of us the other one is there standing. But I don't mind at all he was my friend before we got married and he still is. [code][quote author=rokiatu]

BahPulo:


lol thank you yeah people around us call us 'ton pied mon pied' meaning your foot my foot whereever u see one of us the other one is there standing. But I don't mind at all he was my friend before we got married and he still is. [code]

Great wishing you guys all the best for the future. Any kids yet?

rokiatu:

Great wishing you guys all the best for the future. Any kids yet?

yeah we do have kids 2 boys (8 and 5 years we decided to have them while in school so we would concentrate on career and raising the kids). we are also expecting a third boy not luck with with girls

BahPulo:


yeah we do have kids 2 boys (8 and 5 years we decided to have them while in school so we would concentrate on career and raising the kids). we are also expecting a third boy not luck with with girls

OMG that is lovely. SO, I am sorry to be asking all these questions I married young so I am quite fascinated by your story as it is a bit similar to mine. So you were pregnant while the both of you were in school? How did you find that? Was it difficult for you?

rokiatu:

OMG that is lovely. SO, I am sorry to be asking all these questions I married young so I am quite fascinated by your story as it is a bit similar to mine. So you were pregnant while the both of you were in school? How did you find that? Was it difficult for you?

Lol it's ok even some of our professors used to spend half of lecture to try to figure out our story, Americans can be very nosy lol. My husband was a senior when we married and I was a freshman, so he finish before we had our first boy and he started working for himself which made it easy I went back to school right away he and my older sister who came to visit looked after the baby. Our family have been really supporting they are here whenever we need them. most people think it's impossible to marry early and build your life but it's possible if you really work for it. Also we like how most people think our older son is our little brother the boy is too tall for his age and on top of that he calls us by our names for a while though now he is starting to call us nnene and baba it's still difficult for him. We don't mind though since the little one call us nnene&baba

BahPulo:


Lol it's ok even some of our professors used to spend half of lecture to try to figure out our story, Americans can be very nosy lol. My husband was a senior when we married and I was a freshman, so he finish before we had our first boy and he started working for himself which made it easy I went back to school right away he and my older sister who came to visit looked after the baby. Our family have been really supporting they are here whenever we need them. most people think it's impossible to marry early and build your life but it's possible if you really work for it. Also we like how most people think our older son is our little brother the boy is too tall for his age and on top of that he calls us by our names for a while though now he is starting to call us nnene and baba it's still difficult for him. We don't mind though since the little one call us nnene&baba

Sweet. Cant wait to have kids myself.

For all d response i want to say thank u
Things я̲̅ back to normal π i got it settled on my kneels

^ like seriously? . Have you gone for medical tests? Did the doctor say its your fault? Please don't put yourself under any unnecessary tension, cos that would be detrimental to your ttc efforts.

All the best!

K

dramakwin: A̶̲̥̅♏ a year π 4months in my marriage.i won't say it has been rosy cos just 2days ago my husband asked for a divorce cos A̶̲̥̅♏ nt yet pregnant...π after much pleading he gave me an ultimatum till november dis yr

Serious? Ur husband is a beast. Damn, i feel like shooting him. Some men are such a disgrace to mankind. This is a time to support ur wife, reassure her always, pray and always be there for her.
@poster. Except the divorce threat is for something else. If it's for d pregnancy issue alone, then d man should be shot!!!

dramakwin: Yes i hv π all reports showed A̶̲̥̅♏ ok...its Ʀε̲̣̣̣̥αℓℓγ̲̣̣̥ a tough one

My dear, I know exactly how you feel. Just ignore whatever he says or does ( easier said than done, I know), but you need your sanity very much and don't let anyone take that from you. I know what ttc does to one's sanity... Lol. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you and trust me you'll get pregnant soon...(((hugs)))

dramakwin: Don't knw wat else o cos couple do argue but i never tot a diovrce wud b d nxt tin
He intially gave me 3months π after my mum pleaded he increased it π said if by then A̶̲̥̅♏ nt pregnant i wud leave or he wud get a second wife or impregnant a gal outside π i have to abide by d conditions
A̶̲̥̅♏ tryin my best cos i hvnt being myself since monday
Pls any solution is welcome pls

OMG!! I wish I could do something... . To be honest, that man is no good ( sorry for insulting him) but why did your mum plead? Who is he to give you conditions . Are you sure he's not the one with the problem sef? Take it easy dear... I know there's nothing I say that can make you feel better. I've been down a similar road... Stress is the last thing you should be going through now. Hope you have a job. Don't worry, this too shall pass..

See why women go and bring in bastards a times, some men are just awful . Please don't do anything you'll regret though. Pele, it is well

am sorry to say this to you dramakween, but if your husband has started giving you ultimatums like this so early in marriage, its not a good sign.

The next part of the scenario is really doing my head in. You obviously told your mum or parents and the next thing she did is to go and beg your husband. Please give yourself and family some self esteem.Beg him how? He says you should accept the consequences of whatever his actions will be-cheating on you.Why do some people play God.
wow

Its up to you to decide what you want to do.
Is this what marriage has become?
Is there any one in his family you can speak to?
Are you ready to accept being in a relationship with another child involved from another woman...by November?
Try not to develop high blood pressure.maybe you should take a holiday and seek the face of God somewhere else whilst you try to regain some sanity.

Warm hugs

Mine was sweet and sour.got a a new job a month to my wedding.was only entitled to 4days for both wedding n honeymoon.got married on sat resumed work the next tues.no honeymoon!
I leave home as early as 5:30am get bk bet 9 and 10pm alrealy tired.sex became a duty and burden.
To cap it up got pregnant almost imediately. d stress of work,pregnancy and taking care of the home took its toll on me.I became cranky had several quarels with hubby. was constantly complaining...it was not funny at all
But thank God for given me a very understanding man.we do d house chores together,he took everytin wit maturity praying and beleiving God for a change. Although we still have our challenges but things have eased up a great deal.
Despite all my 1st year experience,I never for once regreted geting married.marriage is the most wonderful tin dat can happen to any woman depending on how well she is able to handle its ups and down.the 1yr of every marriage is very critical cos dats wen the couple get to know their real selves.the era of fantasy is eventually replaced with the rude shock of reality.
By May I'll be 2yrs in marriage.Thank God for the ever increasing love and commitment in my marriage.it can only get better!

My first year was pure bliss. Hardly any disagreements, we were just having fun. We would bring out our mattress to sleep in the sitting room cos that was the only room that had ac. Money was a bit tight cos I was still doing my masters and did not have a job. When I finished my masters I returned home thinking I would get a job immediately but no such luck as I was pregnant. Things were great and I could not be happier.

I waited to write my own experience cos I wanted my 2nd year anniversary to pass. This 2nd year has been very turbulent. Trying to manage the home, my son and then I got a job was so stressful. Whenever I return home I would be so cranky and tired then would have to start making food and blah blah blah. Arguments became 2nd nature to us and I could not understand what was happening to the man I had known for more than 8 years. Now, I have tried to reduce focus from my career so that I won't feel under pressure to be the best at work (something had to give and I decided it was my career). We are rebuilding ourselves and things are now settling into something of an enjoyable rhythm. Just have to find a cure to my speaking before really thinking of the import of my words. God will continue to make us stronger.

BahPulo:


Lol it's ok even some of our professors used to spend half of lecture to try to figure out our story, Americans can be very nosy lol. My husband was a senior when we married and I was a freshman, so he finish before we had our first boy and he started working for himself which made it easy I went back to school right away he and my older sister who came to visit looked after the baby. Our family have been really supporting they are here whenever we need them. most people think it's impossible to marry early and build your life but it's possible if you really work for it. Also we like how most people think our older son is our little brother the boy is too tall for his age and on top of that he calls us by our names for a while though now he is starting to call us nnene and baba it's still difficult for him. We don't mind though since the little one call us nnene&baba

Once again beautiful story. Thanks luv.

I am so sorry to hear that @dramakwi.

dramakwin: Don't knw wat else o cos couple do argue but i never tot a diovrce wud b d nxt tin
He intially gave me 3months π after my mum pleaded he increased it π said if by then A̶̲̥̅♏ nt pregnant i wud leave or he wud get a second wife or impregnant a gal outside π i have to abide by d conditions
A̶̲̥̅♏ tryin my best cos i hvnt being myself since monday
Pls any solution is welcome pls

your husband must be a clown. just 16 months and he's already making ultimatums?
for all you know, he could be the one with the low sp[i]e[/i]rm count. has he gone for any test?

chaircover: One year and 4 months of marriage and a husband is threatening divorce because his wife is not pregnant. A man who 16 months ago opened his mouth in front of a whole heap of witnesses and said " for better for worse, In sickness and in health"

Oju to ma bani kale oni fi aaro shipin (sorry I dont know the correct translation in English)

My sister please pray very hard that you haven't made the wrong choice . . .16 months pere!! 16 months!!!!!!

Hmmmmmm lets not blame the parents o! When you are saddled with a tryant son-in-law, who you probably warned your daughter against because what an elder sees sitting down a child doesnt see standing up, but she refused to heed to any warning & and went ahead to marry him by force and you want your daughters happiness what can you do? Is it not to beg him? Ebe la n boshika k tu ilu she (once again my apologies)

what is this ajebutter woman saying?
you need to subscribe to sky 329 and irokotv asap.
your yoruba is odikwa asthmatic.

chaircover: My sister please pray very hard that you haven't made the wrong choice . . .16 months pere!! 16 months!!!!!!

I'm sure this was well intentioned, but it's after the fact. Prayer would have been profitable prior. If her prayer returns "wrong choice" what then?


TV

Hmmmmmm!!!!! oga oooooo!!!!

dramakwin: Don't knw wat else o cos couple do argue but i never tot a diovrce wud b d nxt tin
He intially gave me 3months π after my mum pleaded he increased it π said if by then A̶̲̥̅♏ nt pregnant i wud leave or he wud get a second wife or impregnant a gal outside π i have to abide by d conditions
A̶̲̥̅♏ tryin my best cos i hvnt being myself since monday
Pls any solution is welcome pls

This is a very serious issue and i honestly feel so sorry you're going through this. I still can't understand how a man who got married less than 18 months ago is already threatening his wife with a divorce!!! **shivers**

Babe, your issue has gone beyond TTC, i think it's fundamental you critically evalauate the foundation of that marriage again. This kind of man with or without children will be a dictator & will very domineering & wicked haba! To top it up, you're still a corper, serving in another state so it's only commonsensical that the distance could affect the inability to conceive quickly. Abi is the sperm going to fly to meet you at your place of primary assignment? Na wah oh! I just tire for some of these our ment these days. Upon all these trauma you're going through, i won't be surprised if he has not gone for any medical tests to confirm his own fertility.

My dear, my heart goes out to you and i pray the good Lord answers your prayers very soon. . . . .This is just pathetic!

That man is heartless, 16 months!, plus I heard its harder to conceive when you are worried about it. I can't imagine what she is going through, I don't believe that man loves her. Women don't we look before leaping into marriage.

@dramakwin... Am sorry abt ur situation o.
Bt, did u date dis man atal before u got married? Cos, its hard to comprehend how a man u fell in love with, dated wld turn anoda to give an ultimatum! Plus already informing u of his intent to cheat! Dats so unfair.
Expect u wre arranged for him to marry, I find his behaviour really disgraceful.
And like odas ave said, pls laid a good foundation before bringin kids into d picture... All I foresee is future volience...am sorri to say, bt by den... It'l be too late!
Take time to figure out what u want for ur life, no one has said its fun all d way...bt an ultiamum to get preg. Is just d height!
How wld u even make dat happen with so much tension n unhappiness sef!
Sha! God dey.

chaircover: coogar I am sure that I can beat you hands down in a Yoruba competition so jo lo joko jare

See these two agatu's arguing over who can murder Yoruba better.

Well I am the Yoruba language undisputed champ here.

Dramakwin,

I would be blunt here, I think God loves you for making you not pregnant yet, cos I don't see this marriage lasting even if you have octuplets tomorrow. What tells your husband that he isnt the one at fault for the barrenness, If you want to prove that he is the sterile one, Go and play away games with walestar/born2fuck and in 2months you would give testimonies

Since you are a corper, That means he carries a lot of the financial burden, Does he also settle your family financially, I mean for your mom to join in begging him. The issue must get K-leg . Is your husband verry rich or is he Mr Universe cos I am trying to understand where that arrogance is coming from and your own lack of self esteem? Cos it seems the only good he sees in you is making babies