Forgive him
Love keepeth no record of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13)

dayokanu:

So anytime you are with a female friend for 30mins , You are definitely phocking dem

Hidden in a room? Are you being facetious or what?

think, pray before u take any decision

uummmmm...... how did his office smell like?? did it have any off smell mayb like sex or vagina?

why is it that everytime a man cheats a woman has to forgive him or take it easy ohhhh!!!!!?? oh hell nooooooooo. if a man's brain was in tact while cheating he should b more than ready to bear the consequences.

Dual Core: Sorry OP. He's not your BF so you can't be thinking of leaving him... you preggy for him too.

Try to work things out, things won't come back to normal overnight so take things easy and as they come. Don't bother yourself much about what happened in that room because it really wouldn't help.

You should call him to the table and give him a chance to explain. He's your best friend so you should know when he's lying. Assure him you'll appreciate the truth from him however bad it is and please keep to that assurance. If he opens up to you that he actually is cheating on you... don't flare up... talk to him about the need for both of you to seek help from your church, your elders or wherever you two know you can get help from.

He's human and if things are what they seem like, it doesn't make him any less an imperfect human. Some of the married men who have posted on this thread do same, only they haven't been caught yet. Na who dem catch be thief and thief wey dem never catch go follow shout "thief thief".

odikwegu. a best friend or a spouse at that should never stamp on their spouses heart. tufiakwa.

Whether u confront him or not,dat won't stop him from cheating on u with d same girl or another. Men are men they can't do without cheating even u have sex with him everyday. Like someone once told me its like eating rice@home evryday they wld like to eat beans outside.just pray for him and be patient in your marriage.
Pls accept it he cheated on you,forgive him and move on.

goodchick: Whether u confront him or not,dat won't stop him from cheating on u with d same girl or another. Men are men they can't do without cheating even u have sex with him everyday. Like someone once told me its like eating rice@home evryday they wld like to eat beans outside.just pray for him and be patient in your marriage.
Pls accept it he cheated on you,forgive him and move on.

goodchick hi! if d OP was a man, would u give him d same advice? goodnight n sweet dreams

^^ The Op cant even give evidence that the husband cheated on her.

So anytime you are in the office alone with a man you are fuckinng the man?

dayokanu: ^^ The Op cant even give evidence that the husband cheated on her.

So anytime you are in the office alone with a man you are fuckinng the man?

Yes, if not why lock the door and keep ur spouse waiting for 30mins??

Lexoria:


Yes, if not why lock the door and keep ur spouse waiting for 30mins??

Its called an office, and family members are not allowed to barge into any office anytime they want.

Which office do you know where your wife, mother, children can just walk in anytime they want?

In many offices I know they wife wont even be allowed to get past the security guard

dayokanu:

Its called an office, and family members are not allowed to barge into any office anytime they want.

Which office do you know where your wife, mother, children can just walk in anytime they want?

In many offices I know they wife wont even be allowed to get past the security guard

Oh!!!! i used to walk into my father's office anytime i wanted, and there was no padlock on the door....till now....why would an office door be locked when someone is in the office...what is it supposed to be, a room it is an office, where he should be meeting clients...and not entering them.

ronkebp:

Oh!!!! i used to walk into my father's office anytime i wanted, and there was no padlock on the door....till now....why would an office door be locked when someone is in the office...what is it supposed to be, a room it is an office, where he should be meeting clients...and not entering them.

that's because your dad owns the office or he has the highest authority there.
in an office, due process must be followed. check with the secretary if the
person you're looking for is on seat...the secretary then asks if you have
an appointment and she then calls your host to acknowledge him of your
arrival. i don't think my wife should barge into my office just because it's
mine. simple courtesy demands her to wait like other peops.

coogar:

that's because your dad owns the office or he has the highest authority there.
in an office, due process must be followed. check with the secretary if the
person you're looking for is on seat...the secretary then asks if you have
an appointment and she then calls your host to acknowledge him of your
arrival. i don't think my wife should barge into my office just because it's
mine. simple courtesy demands her to wait like other peops.

By the time his secretary and other peeps see me coming upstairs.... they would be like..."oga pickin" don come oooo, how are you maa..bla bla bla....there is no unnecessary due process, i walk staright into my papa's office, sometimes he has clients or customers and i sit in the other office, until he is done. And the same goes for my sisters and mum, Anytime we decide to go into his office, we have free access...

if the guy was not an authority in that office, why was the door locked, how come he was the only one in the office with a customer, who is female

ronkebp:

if the guy was not an authority in that office, why was the door locked, how come he was the only one in the office with a customer, who is female

they could have been discussing confidential matter.
the man said he likes to lock the door in his office...he has been
doing that before...the op's problem was finding a girl there.
if she had found him with a guy, would she think her husband was gay?

coogar:

they could have been discussing confidential matter.
the man said he likes to lock the door in his office...he has been
doing that before...the op's problem was finding a girl there.
if she had found him with a guy, would she think her husband was gay?

she might not think immediately that her hubby is gay, but subsequently that thought will erupt....okay!! he likes locking the door....why did it take him 30 mins to open when he knows his wife was waiting?, why didn't he excuse himself, quickly appraoch the wife and ask her to take a seat that he was going to be with her in a couple of minutes that he had a clent??. All that little gesture, just shows respect...he utterly embarrassed her by keeping mute in satying still in his office till his "so-called " client was ready to leave.

ronkebp:

she might not think immediately that her hubby is gay, but subsequently that thought will erupt....okay!! he likes locking the door....why did it take him 30 mins to open when he knows his wife was waiting?, why didn't he excuse himself, quickly appraoch the wife and ask her to take a seat that he was going to be with her in a couple of minutes that he had a clent??. All that little gesture, just shows respect...he utterly embarrassed her by keeping mute in satying still in his office till his "so-called " client was ready to leave.

1 - it's an office!
2 - the man was not expecting his wife
3 - due process should be followed
4 - the man was trying not to disrupt the conversation he's having with the mystery girl
5 - they could be praying in that 30-minute interval.
6 - a cheating husband would not wait for 30 mins with the knowledge that his wife is around.
7 - et cetera, et cetera!

coogar:

1 - it's an office!
2 - the man was not expecting his wife
3 - due process should be followed
4 - the man was trying not to disrupt the conversation he's having with the mystery girl
5 - they could be praying in that 30-minute interval.
6 - a cheating husband would not wait 30 mins knowing his wife is around.
7 - et cetera, et cetera!

Naso...prayer indeed!!!!....so the hubby did not know that his wife was waiting at the door during the due process that was carried out, his secretary did not tell him using the intercom? he did not hear the knock on the door....due process my arse..... .

ronkebp:

Naso...prayer indeed!!!!....so the hubby did not know that his wife was waiting at the door during the due process that was carried out, his secretary did not tell him using the intercom? he did not hear the knock on the door....due process my arse..... .

In your current office now, Can you husband walk in and demand to see you?

If its a one man office its different but in a corporate environment, In most cases you wont get beyond the security.

there are several confidential information lying everywhere in an office and not somewhere family members should be barging into

What next, The pepper seller would come into the office, the grandmother from village too would come for family meeting in the office

ronkebp:

she might not think immediately that her hubby is gay, but subsequently that thought will erupt....okay!! he likes locking the door....why did it take him 30 mins to open when he knows his wife was waiting?, why didn't he excuse himself, quickly appraoch the wife and ask her to take a seat that he was going to be with her in a couple of minutes that he had a clent??. All that little gesture, just shows respect...he utterly embarrassed her by keeping mute in satying still in his office till his "so-called " client was ready to leave.

So if you are having a meeting in the office, you would just get out of the meeting and go down to security to meet your insecure wife and later come back to the meeting?

That shows your client or whom you are talking to that you are not serious with the business. Thats the height of it. In meetings where your phones are expected to be off or in silent is where you would be rushing out to attend to a wife?

To ensure that her husband isn't cheating Maybe she should be following him to the office and sit on his laps throughout to be assured he isnt cheating

dayokanu:

In your current office now, Can you husband walk in and demand to see you?

If its a one man office its different but in a corporate environment, In most cases you wont get beyond the security.

there are several confidential information lying everywhere in an office and not somewhere family members should be barging into

What next, The pepper seller would come into the office, the grandmother from village too would come for family meeting in the office

My hubby comes to see me when it is very important and yes he comes into my office, when i have a client he would be told by the service rep, and he will quietly take a seat and wait till i am done with my client, whether it is a man or woman. And no quarel...i have even never locked the door to my office when i am in the office, it is opened...before one of the clients would jump on me, moreso if the client harrases me, it will be my world against his. So precaution has to be taken.

dayokanu:

So if you are having a meeting in the office, you would just get out of the meeting and go down to security to meet your insecure wife and later come back to the meeting?

That shows your client or whom you are talking to that you are not serious with the business. Thats the height of it. In meetings where your phones are expected to be off or in silent is where you would be rushing out to attend to a wife?

To ensure that her husband isn't cheating Maybe she should be following him to the office and sit on his laps throughout to be assured he isnt cheating

Dayo courtesy demanded that he reached out to his wife, how long is it going to take you to excuse yourself?? in what meetings are excuses not allowed? if you could excuse yourself to "take a leak" why can't you excuse yourself to quickly say a sentence or two to your wife??

ronkebp:

My hubby comes to see me when it is very important and yes he comes into my office,

First thing, Why would he come to your office when he can call you?

Secondly offices are different, Everywhere i have worked No one can get into the building except you are a staff, even if you are a staff without your badge, you cannot get in. Vital documents litter the office which the public should see and vital conversation goes on which the public shouldnt hear. Every year we are made to sign a confidentiality and independence form.

If your wife wanders into your building and overhears Zenith bank is buying over Diamond which would make their share rise and tells her friend someone profits from it and people can go to jail for that.

ronkebp:
when i have a client he would be told by the service rep, [size=14pt]and he will quietly take a seat and wait till i am done with my client[/size], whether it is a man or woman. And no quarel...

Why does your husband sit down, why cant he bang the table that they must open for him or throw tantrums like the OP or why doesnt your husband suggest you are cheating? Could it be that the OP was immature and maybe an illiterate and uncivilised person who doesnt know how to act in the modern world?

ronkebp:
i have even never locked the door to my office when i am in the office, it is opened...before one of the clients would jump on me, moreso if the client harrases me, it will be my world against his. So precaution has to be taken

Who are you working with Felons or criminals? If you are discussing staff promotion, Salaries, Discipline or planning to sack some staffs with Upper management, Do you leave the door open? Many discussions happen in the office that only a few people are supposed to hear like the above I stated.

ronkebp:

Dayo courtesy demanded that he reached out to his wife, how long is it going to take you to excuse yourself?? in what meetings are excuses not allowed? if you could excuse yourself to "take a leak" why can't you excuse yourself to quickly say a sentence or two to your wife??

The same courtesy didnt tell his wife to call him before coming to the office, but that courtesy is now telling the husband to go out of a meeting to meet a wife. That courtesy must be very selective.

Taking a leak is a natural thing that people do, Going to meet a wife in an office place is something considered very unprofessional. This was a wife you have a night to see and you still spend official hours to be discussing what?

^^^^^^1st off....my hubby can come into my office anytime he chooses, we talk on the phone almost everytime, and when we decide to go to lunch together he comes and picks me up, sometimes he brings some documents to me to sign asper our business, since i am also a signer on our "joint account"...and so on.....

My hubby cannot bang on the door...because due process [like Coogar said] had been followed...all he has to do is wait for me, moreso the door to my office is transparent[it is a glass door], so you can see what is going on. Now< this poor woman did not have an idea of what was going on in the office,and even his secretary might have helped her knock on the door, i feel it is just rude to ignore her and just keep mute in the office, especially if she did not have an idea of what you were doing...on opening the door eventually, the guy was all tensed, shaking and adjusting....really?

The office is private enough, by having a four wall and a door....what will be so privately said, that i can't say with doors unlocked [ i am not saying closed door ooo but locked door]

dayokanu:

The same courtesy didnt tell his wife to call him before coming to the office, but that courtesy is now telling the husband to go out of a meeting to meet a wife. That courtesy must be very selective.

Taking a leak is a natural thing that people do, Going to meet a wife in an office place is something considered very unprofessional. This was a wife you have a night to see and you still spend official hours to be discussing what?

Dayo, i can't always call my hubby that i am coming to his office, why should i clock in first anytime i have to go and see him he is my HUSBAND!!!!! this is not a boss to surbodinate kind of relationship.....all those men having extramarital affairs, how many times have their girlfriends called the men that they were coming to visit them, especially in that Naija setting?

If a man does not have any skelteon in his cupboard, why would he insist that the wife calls him before she can visit him in his office

ronkebp:

Dayo, i can't always call my hubby that i am coming to his office, why should i clock in first anytime i have to go and see him he is my HUSBAND!!!!! this is not a boss to surbodinate kind of relationship.....all those men having extramarital affairs, how many times have their girlfriends called the men that they were coming to visit them, especially in that Naija setting?

An office is not his house or bedroom, Someone else owns that office and employed your spouse to do official duties in the office not to entertain family and friends.

The employer isnt paying her husband to be entertaining his wife in the office, If your boss sees you entertaining your family during office hours In most cases you get a warning or a sack.

If the husband is sacked for entertaining her, she would be the first person to abuse him of being jobless

dayokanu:

An office is not his house or bedroom, Someone else owns that office and employed your spouse to do official duties in the office not to entertain family and friends.

The employer isnt paying her husband to be entertaining his wife in the office, If your boss sees you entertaining your family during office hours In most cases you get a warning or a sack.

If the husband is sacked for entertaining her, she would be the first person to abuse him of being jobless

And who is talking about entertaining a spouse here, no one says he should buy her chivita and crackers and have her cross leg in his office, all i am saying is that the guy should have excused himself, talk to his wife either telling her to go home that he was busy or have her wait..except if it was an emergency. But leave her outside on purpose is a NO-NO....no amount of arguement will change my reasoning....As long as i am in my office, i have sole authority in that office, i am the boss in my office, now it is left for me to do ethical things in that office, the guy cannot open the door for his wife, but he can be "entering" another lady in that same office that is neither a bedroom nor his house....

ronkebp:

And who is talking about entertaining a spouse here, no one says he should buy her chivita and crackers and have her cross leg in his office, all i am saying is that the guy should have excused himself, talk to his wife either telling her to go home that he was busy or have her wait..except if it was an emergency. But leave her outside on purpose is a NO-NO....no amount of arguement will change my reasoning....As long as i am in my office, i have sole authority in that office, i am the boss in my office, now it is left for me to do ethical things in that office, the guy cannot open the door for his wife, but he can be "entering" another lady in that same office that is neither a bedroom nor his house....

You are an employee in that office and what would happen if your employers know you are receiving wife, mother and grandmother during office hours?
If she didnt have the courtesy to tell him ahead that she is coming then she needs to wait until he is ready

How do you know he was entering another person in the office? Did she catch him on top of her? Anytime a man is in a room with anyone with doors locked he is fuckingg right? Even if na the mom, boss or coworker
You talked about due process, what due process did the op follow in this situation

dayokanu:

You are an employee in that office and what would happen if your employers know you are receiving wife, mother and grandmother during office hours?
If she didnt have the courtesy to tell him ahead that she is coming then she needs to wait until he is ready

How do you know he was entering another person in the office? Did she catch him on top of her? Anytime a man is in a room with anyone with doors locked he is fuckingg right? Even if na the mom, boss or coworker
You talked about due process, what due process did the op follow in this situation

Dayo...stop potting on the wrong ball, stop saying all this because he is a man....this is a relationship between a man and a woman, this is a married couple and i believe every employer/company understands situations where a spouse has to see her hubby or wife. There is absolutely nothing wrong in going to see your hubby or wife in the office, stop making excuses that are not there. If the man cannot respect his wife in his office, how the hell is she suposed to accord any form of respect to the hubby in her own office. Whether what she did was wrong or not, you settle it at home and tell her when she should visit you in the office, but you first and foremost....respect her infront of everyone!!!!

ronkebp:

Dayo...stop potting on the wrong ball, stop saying all this because he is a man....this is a relationship between a man and a woman, this is a married couple and i believe every employer/company understands situations where a spouse has to see her hubby or wife. There is absolutely nothing wrong in going to see your hubby or wife in the office, stop making excuses that are not there. If the man cannot respect his wife in his office, how the hell is she suposed to accord any form of respect to the hubby in her own office. Whether what she did was wrong or not, you settle it at home and tell her when she should visit you in the office, but you first and foremost....respect her infront of everyone!!!!

The thing was that the wife did everything that could possibly be done wrong. And everywhere I have worked NO single employer would want you to bring anything that happens in your home to the office. I have several colleagues and I have never seen any of their spouse before except in unofficial gatherings like clubs or end of the year party.

Your employer dont care whether you have a wife, or 100wives, whether you cheat or you are a monk. Your employer dont care if its a relationship between a man and a woman, You can as well have a relationship with a zebra, As long as its outside of work No one cares. The workplace is strictly for work and nothing else. And that should be respected.

I would never go and check my wife at work unless she needs me there urgently. Is this a nursery school that you can just walk in to check your daughter? This is not about respect its about an insecure, uncivilised and immature wife. She can write to her husbands employer to sack all the female staff to ensure her man isnt cheating, But since he might meet women on his way to work, church, shop etc maybe she needs to tell her husband to sit at home 24-7 to ensure he isnt cheating.

She needs to get a job, Thats the disadvantage of having a full time housewife who has no job, All day she is engrossed with who her husband is with every moment of the day when her other womenfolks are at work thinking of providing solutions to the economy.

Imagine anytime she decides to go to her husbands place of work they should open the door for her and give her couch, She can also start checking the staffs underwears to see which one has her husbands trade mark cumshott

WHAT NONSENSE

dayokanu:

The thing was that the wife did everything that could possibly be done wrong. And everywhere I have worked NO single employer would want you to bring anything that happens in your home to the office. I have several colleagues and I have never seen any of their spouse before except in unofficial gatherings like clubs or end of the year party.

Your employer dont care whether you have a wife, or 100wives, whether you cheat or you are a monk. Your employer dont care if its a relationship between a man and a woman, You can as well have a relationship with a zebra, As long as its outside of work No one cares. The workplace is strictly for work and nothing else. And that should be respected.

I would never go and check my wife at work unless she needs me there urgently. Is this a nursery school that you can just walk in to check your daughter? This is not about respect its about an insecure, uncivilised and immature wife. She can write to her husbands employer to sack all the female staff to ensure her man isnt cheating, But since he might meet women on his way to work, church, shop etc maybe she needs to tell her husband to sit at home 24-7 to ensure he isnt cheating.

She needs to get a job, Thats the disadvantage of having a full time housewife who has no job, All day she is engrossed with who her husband is with every moment of the day when her other womenfolks are at work thinking of providing solutions to the economy.

Imagine anytime she decides to go to her husbands place of work they should open the door for her and give her couch, She can also start checking the staffs underwears to see which one has her husbands trade mark cumshott

WHAT NONSENSE

It is a big lie!!!!!!! having a job is not a reason not to visit your hubby in the office, i will continue to say it "THERE IS NOTHING WRONG, IN A WIFE PAYING HER HUBBY A LUNCH, PERSONAL OR EMERGENCY VISIT" in his office. MY mum never used to go to my dad's office for anything, whatever they had to discuss about would be done at home, and my dad will never stop complaining that his wife never comes to his office to say hi. Some men are just full of themselves, if my hubby was the president of a Nation, i would go and pay him a visit in his office...whether he likes it or not. He has no say in that.....if he embarasses me this much in his office, he will hate the day he said "I DO " to me.....