BaBa Mike: Many married people are unhappy because they dont really get to know each other well enough before getting married or get married for the wrong reasons. I'm happily married to a lovely and charming woman,for almost 20 years we have three wonderful children, my oldest daughter is 18.It's important to have a possibility thinking attitude toward marriage before we can even begin. I think many people rush into marriage without looking at the big picture... some don't consider asking their future spouse about their views on the important things that make a marriage work.

Some get married just because their friends are doing it and they don't want to feel left out. There's many reasons why marriages don't work or people end up unhappy, but I believe that if you really get to know the person you want to spend your life with and are able to work as a team through anything chances are you'll end up with a pretty happy marriage.

As much as we all like to think marriage is all about love, (and it is for the most part), there is another huge factor of partnership that can truely make or break a marriage. Having a strong backbone of true partnership and communication are what can get a couple through the hardest of times in a marriage and allow them to stay together and be happy. Many people don't take the time to build a partnership with their spouse and I think that is why they are unhappy.

spendogram: Reading some of these posts makes me wonder why some people don't see that unhappy people are people who continuously make choices that make them unhappy. They are simply skilled in making such silly choices and they have their spouses to blame for that?

I am happily married and I can tell you that I chose happiness long before marriage so I had no problems making the right decisions. Many people feel that marriage is suppose to make them happy.Nothing further from the truth. You are happy because you make happy choices and such choices include who to marry and how to continuously live with the person.

One very important thing that I must not leave out. If you are a person that is easily swayed by adverts/packaging you tend to make wrong choices. You need to look at the content of things even if the packaging isn't really appealing. Western media has made a majority of the world population to believe more in packaging than the real content. e.g you lots of people with lots of friends and posting lots of nice pictures on social networks. And they always tend to remember your birthday (lol). It will surprise you that those same people don't only look opposite of what they portray themselves to be but also behave completely opposite in real life.

shine-eye:
I sincerely do not know where you got the notion that marriage makes men unhappy. I sincerely see you as one of those modern day promoters of ungodliness . How could you even suggest that! I have been married for over a decade and there is no greater bliss than my wife in my life. It is all so simple. If we are simple honest people who dont derive pleasure in deceiving people for our pleasure, we would enjoy this life. But we have become so devious and are reaping from are folly. Life is simple. Marriage is so simple. We have abandoned the sincerity of our fore fathers and complicated our lives. Rather than return to the better old way, some dark agents are busy propelling rotten doctrines of living happy lives by jumping from woman to woman.Also note that enemies of marriage are direct enemies of God. We need to change ourselves, not God or marriage. The unhappiness of today is a reflection of our waywardness. More waywardness can never be the solution!

spendogram: Reading some of these posts makes me wonder why some people don't see that unhappy people are people who continuously make choices that make them unhappy. They are simply skilled in making such silly choices and they have their spouses to blame for that?

I am happily married and I can tell you that I chose happiness long before marriage so I had no problems making the right decisions. Many people feel that marriage is suppose to make them happy.Nothing further from the truth. You are happy because you make happy choices and such choices include who to marry and how to continuously live with the person.

One very important thing that I must not leave out. If you are a person that is easily swayed by adverts/packaging you tend to make wrong choices. You need to look at the content of things even if the packaging isn't really appealing. Western media has made a majority of the world population to believe more in packaging than the real content. e.g you lots of people with lots of friends and posting lots of nice pictures on social networks. And they always tend to remember your birthday (lol). It will surprise you that those same people don't only look opposite of what they portray themselves to be but also behave completely opposite in real life.

Joshcoli:

blakmonsta: The reason is that we have all forgotten the real reason for marriage


The REAL reason for marriage IS TO ENSURE THAT THERE IS NO QUESTION O WHO IS RESPONSIBLE WHEN THE RESPONSIBILITIES OF RAISING CHILDREN BECOME AN ISSUE.


SO in short this is it:

If you have children YOUR LIFE BECOMES WORSE. CONFIRMED.
If you marry YOUR LIFE ALSO BECOMES WORSE (whatever the trumpet blowers and love-love preachers say)

[size=14pt]HOWEVER IF YOU HAVE CHILDREN WITHOUT MARRYING FIRST YOUR LIFE BECOMES HELL.[/size]

And here is the final one:

IF YOU GET OLD WITH NO CHILDREN YOUR LIFE MAY AS WELL HAVE ENDED BECAUSE IT BECOMES WORSE THAN HELL.

So it is simple:

You HAVE to just accept that no matter what you do, your life is about to get worse. It is like prostate cancer, baldness, menopause, 30-year old potbelly, sagging breasts...your LIFE DETERIORARTES as you get older.

MARRIAGE IS YOU DECIDING TO TAKE SOME UNHAPPINESS NOW TO PREVENT WORSE UNHAPPINESS LATER. Because sex is so pleasurable that if you don't marry in time, SOONER OR LATER you will have a child outside wedlock, and if you don't, you will grow old with no children and become LIVING DEAD.

SO.

All of you unhappy in yopur marriages SHUT UP. your life would be worse in a few years if you didn't marry.

All of you afraid to marry YOU ARE FOOLS. Your dick will stop rising in a few years and then you will be unable to bear children and I am sorry for you in your old age.

EVERYONE WHO IS CLAIMING TO BE HAPPY IN THEIR MARRIAGE: More power to you. 80% of you are either deluded, bloody liars or are unknowingly taking advantage of your partner who will soon snap and scatter your delusions. For the 20% who are GENUINELY happy, I say do not get too used to it or when it goes away (and it will) you will think something is wrong when in fact it is just natural.

TAKE IT AS ONE OF LIFE'S CHALLENGES AND MOVE ON.

Advice to young guys: don't look for the woman that gives you the most pleasure. Soon shge will lose what gives you pleasure, whether it is looks or obedient behaviour or enthusiasm for life. LOOK FOR THE WOMAN WHO GIVES YOU NO SINGLE HEADACHE OR WAHAALA. Even if she looks like a PIG, marry her because ALL WOMEN WILL LOOK LIKE OLD HAGS VERY SOON ANYWAY and African women specifically balloon up to 10 times their size after childbirth and look like fricken elephants.

bruv seems there is no escape route for most people out there this marriage thing is like a game were men and women never wins any step you take YOUR LIFE IS JUST GOING TO GET WORSE even though you marry or you dont marry due to the fact that we as humans get old day by day honestly we are doomed for life till we die so everyone should just get into this marriage thing bear whatever you see in it til we all become frail chickens thats life

muffins99: Why won't people be unhappy in marriage. All my friends are married and few of them are happy. In nigeria, people see marriage as a status symbol more or less the same as having a degree, house or car. But marriage is not like buying a car or choosing a career; you can move house or change your car/ career as often as you like, you can choose self employment and set up your own business but unfortunately, if your marriage does not work out, your life is changed forever. Even if you get divorced, you cannot completely move on because traces of your marriage remains, e.g. children, mutual friends, shared assets, etc.

I'd like to get married someday but I'm not in a hurry and if I don't get married, its not the end of the world. Only fools rush in where angels fear to tread.

muffins99: Why won't people be unhappy in marriage. All my friends are married and few of them are happy. In nigeria, people see marriage as a status symbol more or less the same as having a degree, house or car. But marriage is not like buying a car or choosing a career; you can move house or change your car/ career as often as you like, you can choose self employment and set up your own business but unfortunately, if your marriage does not work out, your life is changed forever. Even if you get divorced, you cannot completely move on because traces of your marriage remains, e.g. children, mutual friends, shared assets, etc.

I'd like to get married someday but I'm not in a hurry and if I don't get married, its not the end of the world. Only fools rush in where angels fear to tread.

manugbo:
HE HAS SOME FEMALE FRIENDS BEFORE MARRRIAGE, HE NEVER RESPECTED ME,

HE CONTINUED, UNTILL THIS VERY MOMENT.

BUT WHY WOULD HE BE SCARED OF COURT WEDDING?

I VE REPORTED HIM IN THE CHURCH FOR LIKE 3 TIMES.

I WAS JUST HOPING THAT HE WILL CHANGE ONE DAY.

I HAD WANTED MY HUSBAND TO BE MY FRIEND BUT HE IS NOT.

HE DOESNT EVEN KNOW WAHT MAKES ME HAPPY, EVEN WEN I TRY DISCUSSING IT,HE WILL TURN DOWN THE DISSCUSION


WHEN I ASK HIM QUESTION REGARDING HIS INFIDELITY, HE WILL BEAT ME UP.

Donbrig: Marriage is a lovely thing to experience, but many people go into it expecting a lot and forgetting that marriage is not a bed of roses. A lot of sacrifices and compromise must be made. If you're married for a long time and very sad with your marriage life, pls try to always go on vacations with your family at least once a year in a very different enviroment, alone with your wife/husband or kids if you have any, it helps a lot. Most men often find marriage boring after many years because they dont spice up their marriage life or take their wife out to experience a new enviroment and feel refreshed like new couples. This method is a big booster in marriage life, try it and your marriage will always have a new meaning every year. My 10th wedding anniversary is just few months away and I still feel I just married yesterday, marriage is indeed beautiful, no wonder God ordained it from the beginning of creation.

Babzilla:
Hmmm Maybe good sensible women r not so extinct afterall.

Miss_Ife:

I am, and enjoying every bit of it.

freshmoney:


This man you be akwa serious. You are terrific Bad guy!

nefertitiram:
I will share my experience. I had series of men wanting to marry ‎​me, yet I searched for a husband. I came from a broken home, which ultimately led to the death of both parents and I said this will never happen to ‎​me.

After courting one guy or the other I said to myself, something is lacking in this relationship. We are not friends, and I had this male friend for almost 7yrs, who was commitment phobic, an objective listener and was the perfect friend! Early in our friendship, I wondered if he was even gay sef! Bt really, he had this notion as well that men were unhappy in marriage! He had even vowed not to get married.

Long and short of it, after suffering one heartbreak or the other for different reasons, I had a heart to heart with the woman in the mirror, I had to love myself first, and be friends with the next guy I will date 1st before I go into any relationship. Apparently I began to spend more time with my guy friend just cos he was a true friend dat says 'Guy'(that's what he calls ‎​me)you no de try, or this dress is ugly, or no chocolates for you, you are getting fat, or wow! You look splendid today!

I married that commitment phobic guy eventually. He is still my best friend till date.I cannot even go to the movies without him, or buy sharwarma or chinese for myself alone. I can't go to shoprite along, there is an unspoken rule that we must do these things together And one day I overheard him telling a friend to get married, it will improve your life! I laughed, because that was what I used to tell him earlier.

Men do not like pressure, I have 6 brothers and 4 brothers in law and it has been proven. So I reduce d̶̲̥̅̊ pressure on him. I can bet my husband still feels 'single' I don't breathe downn his neck you are now married! You must do this or that! Will he cheat on ‎​me later in life, I do not know, but I know I have forgiven for whatever he may do and I will always forgive.

This may sound stupid but it is the only way to keep your sanity in marriage. The paranoia alone will kill you! Is he cheating, is he not? But once you have the mentality that whatever the caase, you will forgive, you will not be overbearing and be a nagging insecure wife.

'Husbands loove your wives, wives submit to your husbands' simple rule for marriage from God. It alwaz works

muffins99: Why won't people be unhappy in marriage. All my friends are married and few of them are happy. In nigeria, people see marriage as a status symbol more or less the same as having a degree, house or car. But marriage is not like buying a car or choosing a career; you can move house or change your car/ career as often as you like, you can choose self employment and set up your own business but unfortunately, if your marriage does not work out, your life is changed forever. Even if you get divorced, you cannot completely move on because traces of your marriage remains, e.g. children, mutual friends, shared assets, etc.

I'd like to get married someday but I'm not in a hurry and if I don't get married, its not the end of the world. Only fools rush in where angels fear to tread.