@sagamite, harakiri and co : I always enjoy reading what you write about marriage and relationships because you guys sound so full of energy and ambitions that I can only admire your youth and will to not compromise on your happiness
There's something I've been wanting to ask, though, why are you fighting so hard against the idea that marriage can be good to some people ? From what I know, you guys are not married ? I don't quite get it, nobody's forcing you to get married. It makes me smile cause when I read you it makes me think of all those "diet obsessed people" who frown if they see you eating oily stuff. To each their own, I like my fried chicken, you like to be single, let's just agree that we enjoy different things. And btw, I think you are right for not compromising before you get married... marriage can be something simple and fun where you can be yourself, and life doesn't start/stop at marriage...

Now, that being said, I just can't wait to read you guys once you actually get married

Miss_Ife: @sagamite, harakiri and co : I always enjoy reading what you write about marriage and relationships because you guys sound so full of energy and ambitions that I can only admire your youth and will to not compromise on your happiness
There's something I've been wanting to ask, though, why are you fighting so hard against the idea that marriage can be good to some people ? From what I know, you guys are not married ? I don't quite get it, nobody's forcing you to get married. It makes me smile cause when I read you it makes me think of all those "diet obsessed people" who frown if they see you eating oily stuff. To each their own, I like my fried chicken, you like to be single, let's just agree that we enjoy different things. And btw, I think you are right for not compromising before you get married... marriage can be something simple and fun where you can be yourself, and life doesn't start/stop at marriage...

Now, that being said, I just can't wait to read you guys once you actually get married

Babes, I have never denied marriage can be good for some people. I think actually I have made it clear severally that it is good for some people and, as supremely intelligent as I am, if I did not believe it can be good, I would NEVER even consider it as an option for myself.

What I have objected to, in my history on NL, is when some lame people come here and try and sell marriage as gold, virtually fail proof, an abated union of happiness, easily & guaranteably controlled to result in success, a must for all sane people, far better than singledom and a union created by God. These are normally religious goons.

Rubbish! Marriage by and large is historically (from medieval to modern day) a failed institution. No one should sell it as gold and faultless. More so, deluded people that are unhappy in it but are putting on a face in denial or because they don't want their remaining marriage pillar to completely collapse.

Worse still is the fact that current Western laws (for those residing there), moral values and modern culture will only accelerate more marriage failures in the future.

DailyNews:

Each time I go through your post, I laf my azz off...I see myself grinning & showing off my toothless gum like my aged grandpa struggling with some peace of bush meat...lol...the only place I disagree with you, not that I am condemning u either, becos we all are not perfect, but struggling to perfection, is the area of sleeping with ladies you don't want or wish to marry....maybe I am too old fashioned in that aspect, pardon me....but then, I just wonder why Nigerian ladies cannot have both: excellent character, humility & cute physical appearance. why must they have one & lack in many other qualities nowadays? its so unfortunate that once a Nigerian girl considers herself as pretty or fyn & maybe do receives lots of 'u are fyn' compliment from guys, she transforms herself into a local god that most of them always live to regret later in their lives. sincerely speaking, too much of western culture is arrogance, & thats y we Nigerians must apply wisdom in adopting some western cultures, especially those involving lifestyle, family values, relationship, norms & beliefs. too much of watching oprah winfrey destroys Godly womanliness. why are most pretty rich ladies always single, dovorced or preaching against men? why couldn't oprah winfrey maintain a healthy happy marriage? becos she thinks she has wealth & so all men are worthless & yet lots of ladies see her as a role model. if Bill Gates was a woman, he would never marry becos every man will be bad to her. If Mark Zoekerbeck the owner of facebook was a girl, he would never marry cos all men will be evil to her. If Dangote was a woman, he would never marry becos all men will be monsters coming to rip her off. But all these great men married, but check out some few ladies that were fortunate enof to make it to the rich list- they hardly marry cos of ill-manner & unruly character. all these I keep telling people, are some of the few reasons why a woman ought not to be too rich or excessively empowered with money becos naturally, a woman has no good relationship with money! e.g. give a woman u love too much money & provide all her financial needs & beyond, she terms it that u are using money to entice her, she start to fall for a poorer guy & even give ur money to that guy. if u do not give her money & economizes with her, she calls a a tightfistted man or stingy, etc, they r gud in callin men names. if she has d money herself, every man that is not as rich as she is becomes worthless, gold-digger, wretched, below her class, peanuts, etc. & those above her class want to use her & run, she see them as use & dump, dog, arrogant, controlling, etc...all a woman deserves is little comfort which ought to come from a man (her husband) to make her reasonable, Godly & motherly.

Back to u sagamite, your reason(s) are also inline with that of so many guys including those hiding or avoiding to comment, and thats why lesser & lesser number of marriageable men in Nigeria of today are getting married. If the trend continues, & our Nigerian ladies continue with their recent lifestyle, marriage will go into extinction in Nigeria, & men will just sleep with a female of their choice to have babies which is the most single reason most men are still entering into marriage.

@Jimmayoy, sure I believe u...& the most interesting thing about marriage is the kids...they are wonderful- thinking of them makes me wish to marry, aside that, I am yet to see a genuine reason to marry in this recent times. @ladies reading this, just take this as preaching or sermon or word of tot, etc to look inwards & amend some of your ways & also lean on God to help reform your life. Sincerely speaking, the Nigerian men (rich, poor, average, affluent, just name it) of today are no longer comfortable with your recent way of life; many won't tell you this truth becos they are enjoying & reaping from your wayward & immoral lifestyles....but if you are wise & desire true happiness & love, make a change for your own good & stop copying western cultures & from other unruly ladies. peace!

On point!

@Miss_Ife

@sagamite, harakiri and co : I always enjoy reading what you write about marriage and relationships because you guys sound so full of energy and ambitions that I can only admire your youth and will to not compromise on your happiness

Thank you. Full of energy and ambitions? YES! Admiring my youth and happiness? Now what da phuck is dat? How old are you sef?

There's something I've been wanting to ask, though, why are you fighting so hard against the idea that marriage can be good to some people ?

Last time i checked, the only thing i fight for is to get cheddas. Concerning relationships and marital issues, i simply state things as i see them...period! I don't live in delusions sweet heart. I'm as blunt as they come. Marriage is bull$hit and no one here can give one credible reason that proves otherwise. I stand to be corrected (even by the so called "happily married" folks)

From what I know, you guys are not married ?

YES! We aren't married. So what? From your tone (which i've heard from a lot of ladies who speak "womanese" fluently), what you're trying to imply is that since we aren't married, we should not be talking since we don't have "marriage experience". Two words : BULL $HIT!!! It's only a fool that waits for experience to teach him or her (a word is enough for those who know)

I don't quite get it, nobody's forcing you to get married.

And who ever said anyone was forcing us to get married? We come here and state our opinions and all of a sudden you're threatened. Truth is definitely the ultimate samurai sword!!!

It makes me smile cause when I read you it makes me think of all those "diet obsessed people" who frown if they see you eating oily stuff.

It makes me laugh coz you're really displaying an awful lot of unwarranted sentiments here so definitely, something we said is getting to you.

NB : KEEP UP THE GOOD WORD SAGA!!! After all our beefing,quarelling and endless battles on this section eons ago, we are finally contributing to the common good. We are helping the earth. Man power for real!!!

To each their own, I like my fried chicken, you like to be single, let's just agree that we enjoy different things.

I like my fried chicken,baked beans and noodles (bad mix but i love it). So what on earth are you yapping about buttercup?

And btw, I think you are right for not compromising before you get married... marriage can be something simple and fun where you can be yourself, and life doesn't start/stop at marriage...

This is getting boring sister.

Now, that being said, I just can't wait to read you guys once you actually get married

That's gonna be a long wait.

Shush!!!!!!!!!!!!are we still on this topic.....

Miss-Ife, i must commend your first post on this thread...i loved it....you are a darlyn dwarlyn.....

@Sagalulu.....forget all these your sentiments with regards to marriage...all of them will fly right out of the window when the right lady comes along....i have dined and eaten with men that think like you do; and in the long-run, they turn to vegetables... And that is a promise!!!!

Even the mighty always fall, whether now or in their old-age!!!! A man will always be a man.

@ronkebp

Shush!!!!!!!!!!!!are we still on this topic.....

Miss-Ife, i must commend your first post on this thread...i loved it....you are a darlyn dwarlyn.....

Sweet

@Sagalulu.....forget all these your sentiments with regards to marriage...all of them will fly right out of the window when the right lady comes along

...and how many men do you know who deliberately married the WRONG LADY? Hmmm? Most folks who get married (apart from forced marriages) believe they got married to the "right person"...few years down the line, it's the holocaust. Nice pep talk but it's crap and you know it.

....i have dined and eaten with men that think like you do; and in the long-run, they turn to vegetables... And that is a promise!!!!

How come i've heard this line over 100 times? It's as if there's this "biotic-woman" server up in space where all the females download updates from. Interesting stuff.

Even the mighty always fall, whether now or in their old-age!!!! A man will always be a man

Typical scare tactics. The only people scared of being alone in old age is WOMEN!!! And they desperately try to cultivate that fear in men. The only thing that would make me scared at old age is being broke! At 70, i can phuck 30yr old pretty ladies so long as i am paid...WORD!!!

wow harakiri, I didn't think I'd be honored with such a long reply, though I was kind of hoping one

I don't have to convince you of anything and you don't have to either, I've always liked people who live what they say, and you seem to be one of those. I'm not saying you shouldn't be talking about marriage because you're not married, but you can't look at people from the outside and tell them they're not happy, after all, only them know how they feel deep down inside. So if I'm telling you I'm happily married, you'll have to believe me... or not, after all, that won't change the way I feel

@sagamite : I get you, tks for replying.

@ both : love the way you call me babes, sweetheart, buttercup and co

@ronkebp : tks dear, I wrote it as I felt it

harakiri: @ronkebp
Sweet
...and how many men do you know who deliberately married the WRONG LADY? Hmmm? Most folks who get married (apart from forced marriages) believe they got married to the "right person"...few years down the line, it's the holocaust. Nice pep talk but it's crap and you know it.

How come i've heard this line over 100 times? It's as if there's this "biotic-woman" server up in space where all the females download updates from. Interesting stuff.

Typical scare tactics. The only people scared of being alone in old age is WOMEN!!! And they desperately try to cultivate that fear in men. The only thing that would make me scared at old age is being broke! At 70, i can phuck 30yr old pretty ladies so long as i am paid...WORD!!!

- The truth is majority of men marry the wrong women from the beginning, all beacuse they married her for the wrong reasons, and whoever is wrong will remain wrong only if there is a divine intervention.
- i personally love the bad, tough guys with the type of your mentality, they are always very interesting, their attitudes and nature baffles me, i kinda get close to them and diasect their reasoning on a personal level, but well....i don't have time for that anymore, so my experience has thought me, that a man will always be a man, forget all those hard face, strong muscles and ego, they will always FALL.....and flat [ i mean]
- Gba bee!!! you can date as many and enter as many, but trust me, you will always get hooked to one, and i mean "the one", now, she can later on turn out to be the worst-off or the best. ...

Miss_Ife: wow harakiri, I didn't think I'd be honored with such a long reply, though I was kind of hoping one

I don't have to convince you of anything and you don't have to either, I've always liked people who live what they say, and you seem to be one of those. I'm not saying you shouldn't be talking about marriage because you're not married, but you can't look at people from the outside and tell them they're not happy, after all, only them know how they feel deep down inside. So if I'm telling you I'm happily married, you'll have to believe me... or not, after all, that won't change the way I feel

@sagamite : I get you, tks for replying.

@ both : love the way you call me babes, sweetheart, buttercup and co

@ronkebp : tks dear, I wrote it as I felt it

Look...

I'm not saying all married folks are unhappy. What i am saying is most married folks I KNOW are unhappy. Apart from my personal perspectives, look at the sort of sob stories that flood this section for goodness sake!!! You'll see stories like :

I am tired of my marriage. Somebody help!

My wife wants to kill me. What do i do?

My husband is an animal. Do i divorce him?

Threads like these flood these section on the daily (actually, i've noticed a decline compared to the dozens of sad threads every week).

harakiri:

Look...

I'm not saying all married folks are unhappy. What i am saying is most married folks [b]I KNOW are unhappy.[/b] Apart from my personal perspectives, look at the sort of sob stories that flood this section for goodness sake!!! You'll see stories like :

I am tired of my marriage. Somebody help!

My wife wants to kill me. What do i do?

My husband is an animal. Do i divorce him?

Threads like these flood these section on the daily (actually, i've noticed a decline compared to the dozens of sad threads every week).

Ok, I understand what you mean. As for the threads we can see here we need to remember that only people who have problems will post it on the internet. Also, it happens to everybody (married or not) to go through a tough phase.

Anyways, 't was nice talking with you, buttercup

@ronkebp

- The truth is majority of men marry the wrong women from the beginning, all beacuse they married her for the wrong reasons, and whoever is wrong will remain wrong only if there is a divine intervention.

Specify these "wrong reasons".

- i personally love the bad, tough guys with the type of your mentality, they are always very interesting, their attitudes and nature baffles me, i kinda get close to them and diasect their reasoning on a personal level, but well....

I am NOT a "bad,tough guy". In real life, i'm a very easy going and simple person (apart from my drinking and smoking habits...but that's where it stops). If you met me in real life, you would actually think i'm one of these born again Christians...problem is, i am not religious...lol

i don't have time for that anymore, so my experience has thought me, that a man will always be a man, forget all those hard face, strong muscles and ego, they will always FALL.....and flat [ i mean]

It's not about hard faces and tall egos. It's about diverse opinions and perspectives. It's about different schools of thought. Get in with it and don't get it twisted.

- Gba bee!!! you can date as many and enter as many, but trust me, you will always get hooked to one, and i mean "the one", now, she can later on turn out to be the worst-off or the best. ...

"The one" exists in one place and one place only. Guess where? THE MATRIX MOVIE!!!

harakiri: @ronkebp
Specify these "wrong reasons".
I am NOT a "bad,tough guy". In real life, i'm a very easy going and simple person (apart from my drinking and smoking habits...but that's where it stops). If you met me in real life, you would actually think i'm one of these born again Christians...problem is, i am not religious...lol
It's not about hard faces and tall egos. It's about diverse opinions and perspectives. It's about different schools of thought. Get in with it and don't get it twisted.
"The one" exists in one place and one place only. Guess where? THE MATRIX MOVIE!!!

_ External beauty - Majority of men, love all they can see and touch, they all want beautiful girls) now majority of these so -called pretty girls have lost their essence because of the type of attention they get from different and what they offer these men. And many men have compromised on the basis of this 'beauty', some have missed their "true partners" because of this same beauty....they want sexy babes, they drool once they see a 'sexy babe', to some men that is all they care about....they want a show-off babe.

There are women that possess all the qualities that majority of men want if not all the men, they want a beautiful, humble, respectful, loving, sexy, hardworking woman. But they have sought after these qualities in the wrong places and got the prototype of an ideal woman.

I don't mean bad-bad...personality, but you are a very strong and difficult person to an extent, it will take alot for a woman to understand you, and when she finally does, that is all she needs...., it is all about melting the ice..

Now about "the one", we shall see in the long-run if they or she truely exists only in the matrix move.

ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

grabbing my spinach salad and italian dressing with huge fork and enjoy this rap.

tori don get Kleg

armyofone: ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

grabbing my spinach salad and italian dressing with huge fork and enjoy this rap.

tori don get Kleg

Am sure say, you for don finish the salad by now.....

armyofone: ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

grabbing my spinach salad and italian dressing with huge fork and enjoy this rap.

tori don get Kleg

Yeye liar!

This na wetin she wan say wey she dey lie:

Rolling my feshelu eba with efo soup full of condiments dripping of palm oil with my five fingers and enjoy this rap.

harakiri: @ronkebp
Sweet

...and how many men do you know who deliberately married the WRONG LADY? Hmmm? Most folks who get married (apart from forced marriages) believe they got married to the "right person"...few years down the line, it's the holocaust. Nice pep talk but it's crap and you know it.

How come i've heard this line over 100 times? It's as if there's this "biotic-woman" server up in space where all the females download updates from. Interesting stuff.

Typical scare tactics. The only people scared of being alone in old age is WOMEN!!! And they desperately try to cultivate that fear in men. The only thing that would make me scared at old age is being broke! At 70, i can phuck 30yr old pretty ladies so long as i am paid...WORD!!!

My Nelly moments: He's right you know. Heeeee's right!

ronkebp:

@Sagalulu.....forget all these your sentiments with regards to marriage...all of them will fly right out of the window when the right lady comes along....i have dined and eaten with men that think like you do; and in the long-run, they turn to vegetables... And that is a promise!!!!

Even the mighty always fall, whether now or in their old-age!!!! A man will always be a man.

If that ever happens, you will know she deserves it. You know I don't do shythead women.

I will never reward a mooron with the value Sagamite brings to the table.

She would know how to behave and not take a piss.

As a matter of frankness, let me tell you, I don't like majority of women, more so Naija women. They normally just piss me off within the first few interactions with them. I tend to like only few women. I am very principled and tend to treat women the way they deserve to be treated and very few deserve to be treated nicely. It is okay to be friends with alot of women, anything beyond that and somehow they are good at getting on my nerves with their selfishness and sense of entitlement without doing nothing.

I agree with harakiri on a lot of things but not on this. I realy enjoyed being single, however there comes that point when you must transition from big boy to bigger boy. Does this mean that yovr marriage will be good? Fun? Happy? If you are lucky it might. The fact is
that is the natural order of things.

Johndoe100: I agre with harakiri on a lot of things but not on this. I realy enjoyed being single, however there comes that point when you must transition from big boy to bigger boy. Does this mean that yovr marriage will be good? Fun? Happy? If you are lucky it might. The fact is
that is the natural order of things.

What is bigger boy by being married?

Well you see i am not talking about newly weds. To be honest you get to a stage when you must groom the next generation. On a purely social level, you can't fit in with the "boys" if you are still single. Note though we are much older than you.

Sagamite:

What is bigger boy by being married?

Sagamite:

My Nelly moments: He's right you know. Heeeee's right!



If that ever happens, you will know she deserves it. You know I don't do shythead women.

I will never reward a mooron with the value Sagamite brings to the table.

She would know how to behave and not take a piss.

As a matter of frankness, let me tell you, I don't like majority of women, more so Naija women. They normally just piss me off within the first few interactions with them. I tend to like only few women. I am very principled and tend to treat women the way they deserve to be treated and very few deserve to be treated nicely. It is okay to be friends with alot of women, anything beyond that and somehow they are good at getting on my nerves with their selfishness and sense of entitlement without doing nothing.

i will start by asking you, what your values are? what values are you bringing to the table??...and don't start with mentioning your **monetary capacity****

Johndoe100: Well you see i am not talking about newly weds. To be honest you get to a stage when you must groom the next generation. On a purely social level, you can't fit in with the "boys" if you are still single. Note though we are much older than you.

So those grooming the next generation are "bigger boys"? How?

ronkebp:

i will start by asking you, what your values are? what values are you bringing to the table??...and don't start with mentioning your **monetary capacity****

Ki lon she e? (What is wrong with you?)

Have you, for a second, thought about the superior intellectual genes I will pass to an offspring for a start?

You think na beans? You fit buy such for market?

Sagamite:

So those grooming the next generation are "bigger boys"? How?



Ki lon she e? (What is wrong with you?)

Have you, for a second, thought about the superior intellectual genes I will pass to an offspring for a start?

You think na beans? You fit buy such for market?

OOOO, so your value is an expired intellect abi? , you want all your kids to be talking at random at home all because they "think" they are intelligent ...you can do better Sagalu....that one no be value....think harder!!! what are you bringing to the table that would make a lady think she has hit the jackpot.....

chaircover: I wish there were a lot more girls with saggys confidence and self esteem; we wont be reading half the stories that we read on here.

Moving on; What I beleive JD is saying is that marriage comes with responsibility and it is harder to be a married man that it is to be single and even as men, there are certain circles that you have to be married to gain their respect/to be taken seriously.

Saggy abeg free me o! I am jetlagged so dont even start do any surgery on my post cos I dont have the energy for it & of course lets not forget the fact that I am a product of a failed educational system anyway

Pele, you can't escape it. I was waiting for JohnDoe to respond before I give the lecture on the bolded!

That is blatantly worng!

In any circle of men, it is INTELLECT, WEALTH and POWER that gains a man respect. Not how many children you have or you are raising.

When I am in the midst of men, be it White, Black, Green whatever, when I talk seriously for while (not when I am my silly joker self), you will quickly understand where the respect lies and the dynamics in the room. Just giving them pure intellect, and BOOM the respect is there. You will see all the guys when talking looking me in the eye for affirmation that I am agreeing with what they are saying. Turn by turn they are all doing it. I no get pikin o!

Make I no boast, in my past jobs I have normally been the only black person, but the Whites themselves quickly fall in line that this guy is to be respected based on intellect and pure aplomb/confidence.

Even just in a barbers shop (full of men) you will see the same thing.

When JohnDoe goes out on an outing next, he should try and observe it amongts men and learn.

ronkebp:

OOOO, so your value is an expired intellect abi? , you want all your kids to be talking at random at home all because they "think" they are intelligent ...you can do better Sagalu....that one no be value....think harder!!! what are you bringing to the table that would make a lady think she has hit the jackpot.....

Kai! No respect!

No appreciation for the finer things in life!

Just to shut you up, I will list some other things:

- Fine boy
- Ponmo lips
- Professional boy
- Prospects
- Objectivity and fairness
- Great sense of humour
- Lover boy
- Bedmatics
- Sees partners happiness as priority
- Great listener
- Good cook
- Fantastic problem solver
- SWAAAAAAAAGER

Fimile, baby, fimile. Mo she mor baby, fimile.

chaircover: Saggy dear it may be wrong but in reality, this is what happens. Look around you and tell me How many top pastors are single; How many Obas are single and how many top men in govt dont have a first lady. Even your Prince William got married.

You think it is easy to keep a woman in the house? . . . . it is probably harder than getting a first class in nuclear physics. At least with that, you have text books that you can study

Most of those people did not need to be married to get to the top or be respected at the top. The tended to need intellect, wealth and power to get to the top and be respected at the top.

Most of those people you listed have functional duties to be married as well.

If I have no interest to take on the hard challenge of Nuclear physic why will I have to self-flagellate my life and peace by taking on anything harder?

Bill gates got married at 39 , You mean before he got married, He wasnt respected in some circle?

The former French president Sarkozy was "single" at some time while still in office you mean he wasnt respected at that point?

Sagamite:

Kai! No respect!

No appreciation for the finer things in life!

Just to shut you up, I will list some other things:

- Fine boy
- Ponmo lips
- Professional boy
- Prospects
- Objectivity and fairness
- Great sense of humour
- Lover boy
- Bedmatics
- Sees partners happiness as priority
- Great listener
- Good cook
- Fantastic problem solver
- SWAAAAAAAAGER

Fimile, baby, fimile. Mo she mor baby, fimile.

And this is all you have to bring to the table, out of over 150 important values.....You still fall my hand

that ponmo lips....is very funny.....elenu bankole....lol...

dayokanu: Bill gates got married at 39 , You mean before he got married, He wasnt respected in some circle?

The former French president Sarkozy was "single" at some time while still in office you mean he wasnt respected at that point?

Bill Gate stll got married, whether he married early or not....the whole thing, is majority of this top, influential men still got married at a point, whether the marraige lasted or not is of no importance, they still saw marraige as a stage in life and they willingly passed through that stage.

ronkebp:

Bill Gate stll got married, whether he married early or not....the whole thing, is majority of this top, influential men still got married at a point, whether the marraige lasted or not is of no importance, they still saw marraige as a stage in life and they willingly passed through that stage.

That is not the point.

The point is that did he not command respect until he married as some people suggested?

Is lack of marriage a respect-blocker for men?

HELL NO!

ronkebp:
And this is all you have to bring to the table, out of over 150 important values.....You still fall my hand

that ponmo lips....is very funny.....elenu bankole....lol...

Yeye girl!

Be fooling yourself. What can a woman want that I don't have?

Name it!

I am the complete man. The real deal. Gods gift to hot women.