Hello pals, a woman has given me 3 children now ,the eldest one is 14years old and i have not been able to pay her dowry this was because i lost my job 10years ago and since then up till now i have not been able to get a decent job just hand to mouth sort of. The mother is not happy about it,she wants me to do it in a small way with just a few people in the fathers sitting room cos the man is getting older by the day. I am confused, this is not how i wanted it,and with all this delay i would hv liked it to be a bit elaborate. But my mother inlaw wants it now in a small way because according to her delay is dangerous. Please friends i need advice on what to do now i am confused.

For the first time (maybe last) in my life I agree with bennyass. It doesn't have to be elaborate just get it done!!!

ijebabe: For the first time (maybe last) in my life I agree with bennyass. It doesn't have to be elaborate just get it done!!!

ijeoma, u still dey fight me ni? when we go settle now

confused?...seriously i dont get you...let me analyse ur statements
"'A woman' gave birth to 3kids"=no commitment...else you would have said 'my lady','my love' or....
"the eldest is 14 yrs old and u lost ur job 10yrs ago"=y didnt u pay her dowry during the 4yrs interval.
'Mr confused'...do the right thing

Personally, I don't believe in the bride price nonsense! For cultural sake, just do it and get it over with!

bennyraz: ijeoma, u still dey fight me ni? when we go settle now

We no dey fight, it's all good :|

ijebabe:
We no dey fight, it's all good :|

ok o.. if you say so

Thank u friends, i will do it before the year runs out. It is shameful u knw.

Ijebe. sweeery I dont mind payin up to £3 for your dowry. Its a compliment actually!

Mr..Cork:
Ijebe. sweeery I dont mind payin up to £3 for your dowry. Its a compliment actually!

Cork stop derailing this guys thread! You don't want me yet you want to pay my bride price, please stick to one story!

Richardid: Thank u friends, i will do it before the year runs out. It is shameful u knw.

We know and its a shame it's taken this long. Please do it and get it out of the way!

Thanks i will just get a few pple down and do it.

ijebabe:
Cork stop derailing this guys thread! You don't want me yet you want to pay my bride price, please stick to one story!

errmm sweeery Ijebebebebebe. the most I can offer you is just 2 goat!!

Mr..Cork:


errmm sweeery Ijebebebebebe. the most I can offer you is just 2 goat!!

Heeeyah, it must be hard being you
Will you open another thread about this

Who is this playful cork or is he a hen that is derailing ny thread. Please look elsewhere. This thread is for serious minded pple not for kids.

@OP--Not that I wish this for you, but I feel like sharing it with you.
I used to know a man that lived together with his 'wife' and kids just like you're doing now, without the dowry ish and all. Well, she took sick and died in the 8th year of their 'marriage'. But he was forced anyway by the wife's family and townsmen, to still go through with the rites of marriage, before he was allowed to bury her. He bought everything that a normal bride would need for a traditional marriage; the fineries, complete box full of expensive wrappers (abada and all), walking stick for the father, rice, meat and even printed IV cards and sent out...And she was ibo. Of cos, you know how expensive ibo marriages can be. He married the corpse properly before going ahead with the burial rites, which took another huge sum to carry out.

Like I said, I don't wish you bad, but nobody knows what tomorrow holds. There might be something that she'd need her family or people from her town to be involved in, and they can deny her over a mere bride price and treat her like a renegade. Go by your strength and do it anyhow that it can carry you. For the sake of respect, if nothing else.

Correction you have not paid her Bride price not her dowry.
Bride price: the money paid to the bride's family for the bride's hand in marriage
Dowry: the personal effects the bride takes with her to her husband's house

Thanks very much pals

Don't allow shame to put in trouble. U r probably waiting for the time u will do big but u can see it's taking a decade. Like some one said, pray dat nothing happens if not well ask people dat have experience they will tell u. don't trouble ur self over what people will say go and do with wat u have. U can always celebrate as long there is life.

@Beync......thanks so much, u r wonderful

Richardid: Hello pals, a woman has given me 3 children now ,the eldest one is 14years old and i have not been able to pay her dowry this was because i lost my job 10years ago and since then up till now i have not been able to get a decent job just hand to mouth sort of. The mother is not happy about it,she wants me to do it in a small way with just a few people in the fathers sitting room cos the man is getting older by the day. I am confused, this is not how i wanted it,and with all this delay i would hv liked it to be a bit elaborate. But my mother inlaw wants it now in a small way because according to her delay is dangerous. Please friends i need advice on what to do now i am confused.

Man up and do it
Please go with your family and pay the bride price
I hope you get a job
Get this part of your life over with

Mynd_44: Correction you have not paid her Bride price not her dowry.
Bride price: the money paid to the bride's family for the bride's hand in marriage
Dowry: the personal effects the bride takes with her to her husband's house

Thanks for this clarification. I never knew dowry and brideprice mearnt two different things. Knowledge is indeed power.

Mr Man go and do what you have to do. Take her to court as well and make it lawful. You dont need too much money for that. When you have money, you can do something elaborate.

thank God that you have accepted to do it,
plsssssssssssssssssss, pay her dowry,
elaborate or not what matters is the love,

when you get the money, you can just celebrate her as you want,
God rdealy blessed you with a patience wife.

cheeerrrrsssss

why do you want to pay for another human being?
is she your property? why is she not paying a groom price?
and if she was bothered, she wouldn't have been with you and given you kids all these years.
just appreciate what you have and concentrate on raising up you children.

Logic Mind: why do you want to pay for another human being?
is she your property? why is she not paying a groom price?
and if she was bothered, she wouldn't have been with you and given you kids all these years.
just appreciate what you have and concentrate on raising up you children.

guy you are realy logical but some times avoid try to get more knowledge about somethings.
pls dont allow your wife to pay your groomprice instead, cos it means a lot and i kow u wont love to hear it

OILOFGLADNESS:

guy you are realy logical but some times avoid try to get more knowledge about somethings.
pls dont allow your wife to pay your groomprice instead, cos it means a lot and i kow u wont love to hear it

don't worry about me and my beautiful wifey.
we have long abandoned any cultural activity that would pull us backwards.

no price paid by anybody. happily married for more than 12 years. beat that.

^^
the whole cultural thing does not do anything but hold you back