koruji:
Well, you can pray all you want. What are your kids supposed to do if after decades of prayer someone actually went ahead to try to inhabit where you built, and definitely gunning to make it all in vain? Throw the man and his new wife out!

The new wife may be or may not be innocent, the real issue is the man's lack of sense. As I said above, if he is rich enough to marry another wife he should be rich enough to get her a new house too. Human empathy would show anyone that the "so called" new wife would move to dispose of the old woman in any way possible. Two women cannot live together under normal circumstances talkless of this type of incogruity.

Those who insist on polygamy and continue to practice it only multiply their own pains, and they destroy the future of their own children.

Did you read the thread and initial post? I would advise you do so. The man already rented a new house for him and his new wife but the kids went there and beat up the man under suspicion that him and the new wife diabolically made their mom mad

Richvkunt:
Well the reason according to the children,is that the their father recently collected his gratuity money and decided their mother was too old for him and therefore decided to bring in a younger woman as a wife to keep him warm in his old age. The children kicked against this and told their father that he could marry his new sweet sixteen OUTSIDE the house he built,meaning he had to rent a house outside where the new wife would stay.
The father agreed to these terms and conditions and everyone was living happily ever after until the mother of these four grown up kids contracted a strange sickness that almost turned her in to a lunatic who began mumbling and talking to herself.

I bet that the properties thrown out of that house were all the man possess. Did he train those kids up to University level? Definitely not, he couldn't have been able to do it.
Similar thing happened in my neighbourhood when I was a kid, in this case the man was threatening to send his old wife out of "his" house, but it turned out he was the one thrown out of the house with his only possessions, his bag and mattress.

Some men are so useless.

I cannot type epistles right now cos I really no get time. I have made myself clear

koruji: That lack of a sense of justice always shows up in your post, once it has to do with some religious belief.

How can a woman work to raise four kids, the man retires and then for a reward finds the old woman a definite constant source of heartache in her old age.

The girl he married is probably much younger than some of his kids.

[size=14pt]Justice, even if we concede that he can have his "new wife", decrees that if he is rich enough to marry another woman at that old age, he must also be rich enough to get her a house of her own. The old building belongs to the woman and her kids. Period.[/size]

See! That wasn't so hard, if you only learn to temper religious belief with human empathy.

Obviously you didn't read the story properly. Yes religion does influence my sense of judgement and justice. It is simply divine. Appealing to your or other people 's sense of justice, would be bringing me down to a mundane level.

Justice thrives on equity and believe it or not, the man is the victim here. If he goes to court, the kids and wife are in trouble, although insanity would cover the woman in this case.

Well that serves the man right in his hardtimes and in the hardship of the country that man did not respect himself and his happy family ,and want a young witch who has now cause havoc to the family,

All this desperate young ladies are dangerous oo how could she make the mans wife to get ill and for what reason just so she can be the only one and the kkids wiLl have to move out of the house and she and the old fool will live together then she wiLl then kill the man and claim the house omo she no dey fear oo

Many polygamy bashers ar hypocrites - one wife numerous girlfriends & concubines. This man is an honest man- he married a second out of necessity & very considerate in going abt it. Hypocrites! Criticize & criticize & criticize.

Any lawyer in d house pls,2 explain weather its legal 4 d old man 2 marry a second wife wt d gratuity or share it equally wt his 1st wife b4 using his own share to marry d secnd wife,nd wether its legal 4 d kids 2 trow d man out,and wether d house is exclusively d old man's..any legal practisioner 2 clear diz qxtns plz?

All of you are making comments from one side of a story.

You should ask for the other side.

There must be a reason why a father of four graduates
decides to take a new wife.

Many of you do not know what women are.

I bet the man didn't take a new wife b/cos of gratuity.

If he had money to produce 4 graduates he surely had money
to have 2 wives and forget about training his children. '

There are men like that, many.

One thing I have found out in life is that it is very easy to be ungrateful.

The children can do what they like, the law of karma is there.

It accepts no excuses and takes no apology.

So instead of getting proper health care for their mother, they decided to take her to a herbalist.

Surely, the mother didn't even bring them up well. How can all 4 of them be this silly

Then on top of that, they are rough handling your father, throwing him out of the house, disgracing him. Awon omo jatijati.

Their mother's ailments could well be as a result of her foolish children, thinking how did she manage to bring up 4 failures as Children.

So all 4 of them can't collectively take care of their mother, they are fighting for gratuity.

Regarding Oko omoge, Papa 70 feeling funky, let him be. When the young wife is done with money, she will send him back to his first wife!

Besides when the husband was working, what was the woman doing? Obviously she couldn't have been a housewife as the husband was lowly paid and if she was a housewife then God will see her through!

They should take their mother to a hospital before her condition degenarate further

pembisco: Any lawyer in d house pls,2 explain weather its legal 4 d old man 2 marry a second wife wt d gratuity or share it equally wt his 1st wife b4 using his own share to marry d secnd wife,nd wether its legal 4 d kids 2 trow d man out,and wether d house is exclusively d old man's..any legal practisioner 2 clear diz qxtns plz?

where is it written that u cant use ur gratuity to marry some1,and it isnt a must u share it with ur wife..na she help u work the work?i dont know why pple flog up sentiment when making decision..the man is old to know what suits him best.

chaircover: There are a lot of things wrong with this family and its a chain reaction that has now gotten out of hand.

The father started it and unfortunately things have gone beyond what anyone would have expected. You said it yourself . . . the man collected his gratuity money and decided that his wife was too old. A time that the woman who has been through thick and thin with this man all these years should be enjoying herself with her man, is suddenly no longer useful and kicked onto the scrapheap (sadly a very common occurrence).

This man as you said what a lover cadre civil servant so I can imagine how they must have lived from hand to mouth all these years. Is this how to pay back his wife? so if the children hadn't insisted that he marry his new wife outside, he would have brought the younger wife to come live with them? I am almost 100% sure that he did not send those 4 kids to university and build the house with his money alone and his wife would have supported him financially and morally over the years too.

Now back to the mental illness. who knows if the mental illness could have been brought on by the trauma of this mans shock treatment to his wife? As per the other wife being accused of being the cause of the illness, one hears this all the time in polygamous families. As soon as someone has a headache, the other wife is accused of causing it, so the accusations are not out of the norm in our culture. If the younger wife too hits her foot against a stone, the elder wife will be accused. This is Nigeria.

I am surprised though that with 4 graduates, none of them could think straight and take their mum to a hospital. Shows that having a degree in your hand doesn't mean that you are literate. Shame. . . . and throwing their dads things out of the house shows that they are rough street kids and that is a terrible thing to do to your own father.

Do I feel sorry for the man. Politically correct/church mind answer is yes. truthful answer from my heart NO

Gbam!

vanitty: So instead of getting proper health care for their mother, they decided to take her to a herbalist.

Surely, the mother didn't even bring them up well. How can all 4 of them be this silly

Then on top of that, they are rough handling your father, throwing him out of the house, disgracing him. Awon omo jatijati.

Their mother's ailments could well be as a result of her foolish children, thinking how did she manage to bring up 4 failures as Children.

So all 4 of them can't collectively take care of their mother, they are fighting for gratuity.

Regarding Oko omoge, Papa 70 feeling funky, let him be. When the young wife is done with money, she will send him back to his first wife!

Besides when the husband was working, what was the woman doing? Obviously she couldn't have been a housewife as the husband was lowly paid and if she was a housewife then God will see her through!

They should take their mother to a hospital before her condition degenarate further

i believe the man has reason for that..let the papa70 enjoys his money he has labour to bring them up ..what if the woman is a full time house wife?

This is a very good Nigerian film right here.

vanitty: So instead of getting proper health care for their mother, they decided to take her to a herbalist.

Surely, the mother didn't even bring them up well. How can all 4 of them be this silly

Then on top of that, they are rough handling your father, throwing him out of the house, disgracing him. Awon omo jatijati.

Their mother's ailments could well be as a result of her foolish children, thinking how did she manage to bring up 4 failures as Children.

So all 4 of them can't collectively take care of their mother, they are fighting for gratuity.

Regarding Oko omoge, Papa 70 feeling funky, let him be. When the young wife is done with money, she will send him back to his first wife!

Besides when the husband was working, what was the woman doing? Obviously she couldn't have been a housewife as the husband was lowly paid and if she was a housewife then God will see her through!

They should take their mother to a hospital before her condition degenarate further

The bolded is classic!

LYF IS A MOVIE........... wia d part 2 na...

That's life for you, sometimes, a man struggles with his wife to make a living and rear their children, and when you finally say "thank God for seeing us through" your darling husband will spring his surprise! you are suddenly too old for him, he needs a sweet sixteen to fit his new personality!.
Well, i love what those children did, but, i will suggest that they get help for their mother at once! so, that they will not loose her.
As for their father, he is enjoying the fruit of his pooh!

OP - i comot my cap for your story ooo!
how old bi d old-man?

A fact is staring at you people in the face and you all are refusing to see it. THE MAN DOES NOT OWN THE HOUSE. Is that so hard to see. I have seen numerous men marry another woman in their old age and the children still respect and love their Dad. what is obvious here is that the children have NEVER seen any value in the man. They have always disrespected him. We all know why children disrespect their parents.

We cannot know the extent the man went to, i imagine he called the children to come and carry their mad mum he cannot deal with it. Infact instead of keeping the other house he wants to move his sweet sixteen into the house when the kids and their mum have vamoosed. I imagine this made the kids suffer from temporary insanity it can happen to anybody faced with this kind of man. This is not to justify their actions but certain provocations can make anybody lose it.

I hear some men saying mayb 1st wife was never a good wife. Na lie. We know you men if she wasn't good enough he would have abandoned her since. He won't wait till now. Any man that will be this heartless was always heartless. i will propose that the woman kept the home together financially and morally and that the man was more of an absentee father which is why the children can treat their father thus. I have no sympathy for him actions have consequences.

we do we have more cowards than men in naija dis days....

my old father perhaps in his late 65-75 years decides to marry a 2nd wife after my mum had slaved and spent her life time for 'US" and because he suddenly happens into some cheap money decides for a new thing not only will i THROW HIM OUT........in short my father could never in his wildest desires and dreams dared it.late now.

Maybe we should look this scenario:

a man marries a lady when they were young, they struggle to have kids as a couple and never had a blessing, however unknown to the man she had a back-up plan and had children with other men outside her matrimonial home and brought these kids home in one guise or another as cousins, nieces, nephews etc. And the man cause he never had any trained them all as if there were his, only for the woman now they into their old ages tells him that each of these kids are hers but for Mr. A, B, C & D who now want their children back..... meaning he toiled in vain.. perhaps they are all graduates now and secured better jobs..... of course we shall all proclaim her as an "ASHAWO"!!!!

Richvkunt: I recently witnessed something that shocked me and made me wonder what has happened to the foundation of the family,if a couple of grown up kids could gang up and kick their aged father out of his own house?

The father in this real life story,had struggled all his life to train these four kids up to university level.
He had recently retired as a lower cadre civil servant,in one of the Federal ministries in the country.

In the course of his career as a civil servant he had managed to save up enough money to build a medium level bungalow,where he,his wife and four kids lived.

Now in his retirement,when he should be enjoying the fruit of his labour,his four grown up children and their mother ganged up to kick him out of his house,into the streets.WHY?

Well the reason according to the children,is that the their father recently collected his gratuity money and decided their mother was too old for him and therefore decided to bring in a younger woman as a wife to keep him warm in his old age.The children kicked against this and told their father that he could marry his new sweet sixteen OUTSIDE the house he built,meaning he had to rent a house outside where the new wife would stay.
The father agreed to these terms and conditions and everyone was living happily ever after until the mother of these four grown up kids contracted a strange sickness that almost turned her in to a lunatic who began mumbling and talking to herself.

The drama began,when these four kids who are university graduates decided to take their mother to a herbalist,instead of a psychiatric hospital.
The herbalist informed the stunned children that the cause of their mothers strange illness was their fathers new wife and that through their father the young wife had apparently planted some juju in the house that was affecting the mother and driving her mad.The children were up in arms and without consulting any elders confronted their father over the allegation of the herbalist.The father denied this accusation and insisted on the old wife being taken to a hospital for proper treatment.The children were having none of this and would not allow their father touch his wife.

Anyway last weekend all hell was let lose in the household when the four grown up children kicked their father out of his house,clothes,shoes,books and mattresses were flying through the air,till they rested in an untidy heap outside the house.

Finally the man himself was physically rough handled and pushed out of the house.
All pleas from neighbours for restraint fell on deaf ears.

Shocking situation:mother demented and living with a herbalist.Father thrown out of the house,into the streets.Grown up kids in the house refusing to take their mum for proper medical care.Young wife living in fear for her life.

What is the family turning into?

this is the funniest story ever - what a wimp of a man...thrown out of your own house
by your own unruly kids. the man is at fault because he went out to buy trouble that
made his own wife a lunatic, he deserves to be thrown out. minus the mum going loco,
the man has every right to marry a 1st, 2nd and 25th wife if he so wishes.

One of d best threads on Nairaland so far. I wish to point out that the man has never bn responsible. I've seen men like that. Infact they are many. I'm sure d woman paid d lion share of d school fees of d children & other expenses. That's why the children had no respect for him & threw him out. Anoda issue is who built the house? It must have bn d woman with little or no support from d man. I know a man who merely supervised d construction of d house he's living with d wife till today. All he did was buy food occassionally for workers. Pple still call it his house because he's d one always on site & d woman gave him d sense of belonging & even used his name for reciepts but d children knew d truth. Sso if this kind of man should abandon his wife & marry another wife, then he has clearly asked for a fantastic red card which must never be negotiated. Only dat the children should have allowed him to walk away from the field {house} unmolested.
D children are graduates living in his house. A reasonable father would have bn concerned about how to set up his unemployed graduates in one biz or d other wit his gratuity rather than buying a fresh cunt to bleep. I'm sure d trauma led to d wife mental problem. The man shld be held responsible.

I feel no iota of pity for the man,mstcheew.

Good riddance.

Sagamite:

That does not answer my question.

How does being married "for better for worse" make one party entitled to another party's sweat?

Because the "two shall become one", whatever the husband own belongs to the woman also and vice-versa.....now i know you do not beleive in the Bible or the Koran, as long as we are obeying the "be fruitful and multiply law" and "a man shall leave his family and clive to his wife and they shall become one" the man's gratuity technically also belongs to the woman, if the man is sweating; she is also sweating, if he is crying; she is crying, if he is rich; she is rich and if he is poor; she is also poor.

Peeping into the thread
Oga Richvunt that woman wey come shop gratuity money still dey there? She never pack her bag waka? okay-o-o make she wait-o-o. Na she fit get the next beating from those no-nonsense children. No be gratuity moni she wan shop? Make she foolishly dey there until she gets bathed up in acid or even lose her life to an old man's gratuity moni. Hahaha

even if Sagamite doesn't believe in the bible or koran, the oyinbo law of where he resides must apply.

if you have been married for some years, the woman must get something if the marriage eventually ends.

in the UCMJ, i think it is half the time of his service. Automatically you get part or % of his retirement pay
in the Civilian justice system, not too sure how long to be married to get money but you will get money . The man can't run away with what you both worked for even if you were "stay at home" mommy.

ronkebp:

Because the "two shall become one", whatever the husband own belongs to the woman also and vice-versa.....now i know you do not beleive in the Bible or the Koran, as long as we are obeying the "be fruitful and multiply law" and "a man shall leave his family and clive to his wife and they shall become one" the man's gratuity technically also belongs to the woman, if the man is sweating; she is also sweating, if he is crying; she is crying, if he is rich; she is rich and if he is poor; she is also poor.

armyofone: even if Sagamite doesn't believe in the bible or koran, the oyinbo law of where he resides must apply.

if you have been married for some years, the woman must get something if the marriage eventually ends.

in the UCMJ, i think it is half the time of his service. Automatically you get part or % of his retirement pay
in the Civilian justice system, not too sure how long to be married to get money but you will get money . The man can't run away with what you both worked for even if you were "stay at home" mommy.

He knows all these, that is why he is avoiding taking the step.....scary cat

We really need to read a story well before commenting. First the poster said that after the father rented the apartment for the smallie, they were living HAPPILY until the mother's illness developed. So the woman's ill health was not caused by the father's actions. Have we grown so modernized that we no longer believe in the existence of Jazz again. Not saying the 2nd wife did it but then again not saying that she didn't. The baba might be right. Instead of fighting the man, they should have invited the baba to come and dig out what was purportedly buried. Their priority should be getting their mother well again

chaircover:

Actually considering your arguments, you had it rather easy.

Mo trust Ronke mi, she would have burnt the whole house down and ma jenny is kpekused up to the eyeballs and is rather mellow today too

just saw this. ...i no bad reach dat level ooooo

I'm not in support of him sharing his gratuity with his wife. I'm sure over the years the woman must have made some sacrifices, mayb instead of buying a new shoe, she put it into the upkeep of the house. On getting the gratuity, mayb she was expecting a nice gift or a dinner. Instead she heard she was to be replaced by another woman. Which woman would that kind of news not affect. That's why I really don't blame girls who say the want to marry rich men, instead of struggling with a man. This man in question is a good example.

dayokanu:

How is the woman entitled to half his gratuity?

Assuming it was the woman who decides to leave would the man too be entitled to half her gratuity?

Yes. For crying out loud if a man is not willing to walk the whole 9 yards why get married? So, renting a new apartment with his new okpeke makes it all right? In there somewhere is a heart Dayo.

naijababe:

Yes. For crying out loud if a man is not willing to walk the whole 9 yards why get married? So, renting a new apartment with his new okpeke makes it all right? In there somewhere is a heart Dayo.

People get married and get divorced everyday from the days of Adam. In every society there is marriage and divorce. The man is not interested in the union again, should he be forced to stay in it?

I am sure you had boyfriends you left, Why werent you forced to stay with them.

People marry and ppl divorce everyday its not like the man has commited an offence. The former french president has divorced multiple times, Presidential candidates John McCain and Newt gingrich High men and peasant farmers in Ikere Ekiti divorce everyday.

The man wants out for his own reasons and he even rented a house for the new bride so she wont eat from the previous wifes labour.

So what more should the man do? be forced to live with his first wife? or deny him his right to divorce?

Ayee Idris: We really need to read a story well before commenting. First the poster said that after the father rented the apartment for the smallie, they were living HAPPILY until the mother's illness developed. So the woman's ill health was not caused by the father's actions. Have we grown so modernized that we no longer believe in the existence of Jazz again. Not saying the 2nd wife did it but then again not saying that she didn't. The baba might be right. Instead of fighting the man, they should have invited the baba to come and dig out what was purportedly buried. Their priority should be getting their mother well again

You watch too many Nollywood movies. "Jazz" is more scientific than you think, it thrives on psychology, optical illusions, lethal poisons a lot. So we are right for the most part in seeking proper medical treatment for the woman.