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Am I Not Making A Mistake? - Romance - Nairaland

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Am I Not In A Toxic Relationship Like This? / Am I Making A Mistake? / I May Ruin My Girlfriend's Life, If I Make A Mistake (2) (3) (4)

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Am I Not Making A Mistake? by Drsnives(m): 11:21am On Mar 07, 2022
Good morning nairaladers, pls pardon my errors.

I met this girl late last year, she's nice, godly and has most of the qualities i want in a wife. i love her, though her dad is late and her mum should be in her late thirties.

Yesterday we were chatting and she was like her dad didn't do the necessary rites on her mum and hence according to tradition i will have to pay her mum's bride price to her family before i will be allowed to start her own (my babe) marriage rites. I just weak cos have never heard of such. Where i won see the money for double bride price?

Pls nairaladers, have any of you come across such ridiculous tradition or she's making it up herself cos i feel like quiting the whole thing.
I just tire. Your opinions are welcomed

Modified: she's from obiaruku in ukuwani local government area of Delta State.

53 Likes 12 Shares

Re: Am I Not Making A Mistake? by Zonefree(m): 11:22am On Mar 07, 2022
Ask her, after paying her mum's bride price, will her mum be your wife?

799 Likes 50 Shares

Re: Am I Not Making A Mistake? by Candidlady: 11:22am On Mar 07, 2022
sad

Her mum is in her late 30s...

How old is the girl ? _______

541 Likes 31 Shares

Re: Am I Not Making A Mistake? by Nobody: 11:23am On Mar 07, 2022
Lol... grin

Many things we do in Africa don't make sense...

You're not getting married to her mother, why should you pay the woman's bride price?

A way for the family to cashout? undecided

202 Likes 6 Shares

Re: Am I Not Making A Mistake? by Zonefree(m): 11:24am On Mar 07, 2022
Datboredberry:
Lol... grin

Many things we do in Africa don't make sense...
Africa has nothing to do with that foolishness!

244 Likes 12 Shares

Re: Am I Not Making A Mistake? by Zonefree(m): 11:26am On Mar 07, 2022
Candidlady:
sad

Her mum is in her late 30s...

How old is the girl ? _______
Late 30s could be 38.
Say the girl is 20. Her mum gave birth to her at 18.

Why asking her age? Is 20 not old enough for marriage? Or giving birth at 18 is a sacrilege in your village?

150 Likes 8 Shares

Re: Am I Not Making A Mistake? by McEphiks(m): 11:27am On Mar 07, 2022
Drsnives:
Good morning nairaladers, pls pardon my errors.
I met this girl late last year, she's nice, godly and has most of the qualities i want in a wife. i love her, though her dad is late and her mum should be in her late thirties.
Yesterday we were chatting and she was like her dad didn't do the necessary rites on her mum and hence according to tradition i will have to pay her mum's bride price to her family before i will be allowed to start her own (my babe) marriage rites. I just weak cos have never heard of such. Where i won see the money for double bride price?
Pls nairaladers, have any of you come across such ridiculous tradition or she's making it up herself cos i feel like quiting the whole thing.
I just tire. Your opinions are welcomed

I'll appreciate lalasticlala if this topic is moved to front page for wider audience.
Thanks

It is like that where I come from as well. Its nothing like double bride price... its just little things most times less than 10 percent of what you'd spend paying your wife to be bride's price

A daughter can't be married when the mom is not according to out tradition.

Modified: the bride price can be paid by anybody in the family either her brothers or her son if she have a grown son.

101 Likes 6 Shares

Re: Am I Not Making A Mistake? by Akinzola: 11:28am On Mar 07, 2022
This one don enter 1 chance,
...... well if you have the money and you love the babe, continue, but if the other way round, advice yourself.

24 Likes 6 Shares

Re: Am I Not Making A Mistake? by Nobody: 11:28am On Mar 07, 2022
Zonefree:

Africa has nothing to do with that foolishness!
Trust me, Africa has some of the most stupid, useless traditions...

I love Africa though...

Where I'm from, a widow must shave her head and sleep on her husband's grave for a week after his death...

There are many...

Even the bride price thing doesn't make sense to me...

65 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Am I Not Making A Mistake? by Zonefree(m): 11:30am On Mar 07, 2022
Datboredberry:
Trust me, Africa has some of the most stupid, useless traditions...

I love Africa though...

Where I'm from, a widow must shave her head and sleep on her husband's grave for a week after his death...

There are many...

Even the bride price thing doesn't make sense to me...
Where are you from?

34 Likes 1 Share

Re: Am I Not Making A Mistake? by SNEFF: 11:30am On Mar 07, 2022
70 yrs old man

10 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Am I Not Making A Mistake? by Nobody: 11:33am On Mar 07, 2022
Zonefree:

Where are you from?
Curiousity killed the cat

54 Likes 1 Share

Re: Am I Not Making A Mistake? by Ocholu: 11:35am On Mar 07, 2022
Datboredberry:
Lol... grin

Many things we do in Africa don't make sense...

You're not getting married to her mother, why should you pay the woman's bride price?

A way for the family to cashout? undecided

grin grin..

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Am I Not Making A Mistake? by Zonefree(m): 11:36am On Mar 07, 2022
Datboredberry:
Curiousity killed the cat
Oh.. poor cat cry

95 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Am I Not Making A Mistake? by Candidlady: 11:38am On Mar 07, 2022
Zonefree:

Late 30s could be 38.
Say the girl is 20. Her mum gave birth to her at 18.

Why asking her age? Is 20 not old enough for marriage? Or giving birth at 18 is a sacrilege in your village?


It is not a sacrilege in my village... As far as the girl and boy are responsible enough to take care of emselves


Now help me ask the op is the girl established enough and mentally sound to get married?


Iam tired of reading stories on here bout how a day union gets dissolved over lil issues

38 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Am I Not Making A Mistake? by Shalommy(f): 11:41am On Mar 07, 2022
It's normal, the mother bride price must be paid before hers. As a man, if you don't pay your wife bride price and you can't collect your daughter's bride price.

22 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Am I Not Making A Mistake? by Zonefree(m): 11:43am On Mar 07, 2022
Candidlady:



It is not a sacrilege in my village... As far as the girl and boy are responsible enough to take care of emselves


Now help me ask the op is the girl established enough and mentally sound to get married?


Iam tired of reading stories on here bout how a day union gets dissolved over lil issues
Whether the girl is established enough is not your business. You're not in the position to determine when a girl is ready for marriage. Channel this energy to make me fall in love with you, maybe you can have your own husband.

30 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Am I Not Making A Mistake? by Candidlady: 11:51am On Mar 07, 2022
Zonefree:

Whether the girl is established enough is not your business. You're not in the position to determine when a girl is ready for marriage. Channel this energy to make me fall in love with you, maybe you can have your own husband.


Lmao

Walahai ba lafia cheesy ...this guy you need help ..

It is actually my business Cuz it wouldn't make sense, like a post iread on family section the husband bragging bout being the only one taking care of the house that his wife brings Nada to the table, she is jobless, she is that... Idont want that kinda insult/life for any lady out there...

Would you want your daughter to be a liability in her husband's house?



And yeah Freda is enough for me.. Idont need no husband.. Nagode

15 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Am I Not Making A Mistake? by Drsnives(m): 12:09pm On Mar 07, 2022
Zonefree:
Ask her, after paying her mum's bride price, will her mum be your wife?
O men, i ws speechless. Am certain my parents no go agree at all

4 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Am I Not Making A Mistake? by Drsnives(m): 12:10pm On Mar 07, 2022
Candidlady:
sad

Her mum is in her late 30s...

How old is the girl ? _______
21

6 Likes

Re: Am I Not Making A Mistake? by Drsnives(m): 12:14pm On Mar 07, 2022
Datboredberry:
Lol... grin

Many things we do in Africa don't make sense...

You're not getting married to her mother, why should you pay the woman's bride price?

A way for the family to cashout? undecided

The whole stuff is just looks funny to me.

The other option is for me to wait till someone else gets married and pays her mum's price, for how long i won wait

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Am I Not Making A Mistake? by Drsnives(m): 12:14pm On Mar 07, 2022
Zonefree:

Late 30s could be 38.
Say the girl is 20. Her mum gave birth to her at 18.

Why asking her age? Is 20 not old enough for marriage? Or giving birth at 18 is a sacrilege in your village?
She's 21

4 Likes

Re: Am I Not Making A Mistake? by Drsnives(m): 12:17pm On Mar 07, 2022
McEphiks:


It is like that where I come from as well. Its nothing like double bride price... its just little things most times less than 10 percent of what you'd spend paying your wife to be bride's price

A daughter can't be married when the mom is not according to out tradition.

Modified: the bride price can be paid by anybody in the family either her brothers or her son if she have a grown son.
Then any of her family members should do the needful and not disturb me, haba.
Let's assume i should pay, what's next after that? I go come dea lash her too ni?

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: Am I Not Making A Mistake? by Drsnives(m): 12:18pm On Mar 07, 2022
Akinzola:
This one don enter 1 chance,
...... well if you have the money and you love the babe, continue, but if the other way round, advice yourself.
One chance i tell you my brother

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Am I Not Making A Mistake? by Drsnives(m): 12:20pm On Mar 07, 2022
Datboredberry:
Trust me, Africa has some of the most stupid, useless traditions...

I love Africa though...

Where I'm from, a widow must shave her head and sleep on her husband's grave for a week after his death...

There are many...

Even the bride price thing doesn't make sense to me...
Mumu traditions

7 Likes

Re: Am I Not Making A Mistake? by Drsnives(m): 12:23pm On Mar 07, 2022
Shalommy:
It's normal, the mother bride price must be paid before hers. As a man, if you don't pay your wife bride price and you can't collect your daughter's bride price.
Party will follow the payment?

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Am I Not Making A Mistake? by Medianna(f): 12:27pm On Mar 07, 2022
You for mention the state at least, if not the local govt.

It will help you get a more appropriate response, now even people who don't know anything about it, like us will put mouth

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Am I Not Making A Mistake? by Nobody: 12:39pm On Mar 07, 2022
Drsnives:
Good morning nairaladers, pls pardon my errors.
I met this girl late last year, she's nice, godly and has most of the qualities i want in a wife. i love her, though her dad is late and her mum should be in her late thirties.
Yesterday we were chatting and she was like her dad didn't do the necessary rites on her mum and hence according to tradition i will have to pay her mum's bride price to her family before i will be allowed to start her own (my babe) marriage rites. I just weak cos have never heard of such. Where i won see the money for double bride price?
Pls nairaladers, have any of you come across such ridiculous tradition or she's making it up herself cos i feel like quiting the whole thing.
I just tire. Your opinions are welcomed

I'll appreciate lalasticlala if this topic is moved to front page for wider audience.
Thanks

Lemme take a wild guess...
She's from akwa Ibom undecided...

Doesn't matter Sha...
If you're comfortable with the whole tradition thingy, then go ahead, but if you're not, please work away...

And before you go into this matter, please make sure they're no other tradition of sort that could spring up surprises undecided...

4 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Am I Not Making A Mistake? by shantti(m): 1:00pm On Mar 07, 2022
I don't think u r the one to pay the bride price. The girls father has to pay his wife's bride price so he can be eligible to collect his daughter's bride price

8 Likes

Re: Am I Not Making A Mistake? by GooodHardDick: 1:02pm On Mar 07, 2022
OP, I'll kindly advise you to dump that girl asap and move on with ur life. angry

That girl and her mother are looking for a way to suck you dry! i'm sure her mother was a single mother when she gave birth to her.

Alaye dump that girl sharp sharp and move on abeg. There are girls everywhere!

18 Likes 1 Share

Re: Am I Not Making A Mistake? by kelechiodo(m): 1:07pm On Mar 07, 2022
Drsnives:
Good morning nairaladers, pls pardon my errors.
I met this girl late last year, she's nice, godly and has most of the qualities i want in a wife. i love her, though her dad is late and her mum should be in her late thirties.
Yesterday we were chatting and she was like her dad didn't do the necessary rites on her mum and hence according to tradition i will have to pay her mum's bride price to her family before i will be allowed to start her own (my babe) marriage rites. I just weak cos have never heard of such. Where i won see the money for double bride price?
Pls nairaladers, have any of you come across such ridiculous tradition or she's making it up herself cos i feel like quiting the whole thing.
I just tire. Your opinions are welcomed

I'll appreciate lalasticlala if this topic is moved to front page for wider audience.
Thanks
That's normal thing. Op by tradition, the late Dad did not marry the mother and wouldn't have collected the dowry if he is alive. The bride price is paid to the mother's family. Thats the tradition.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Am I Not Making A Mistake? by ibechris(m): 1:08pm On Mar 07, 2022
That statement from that lady is grossly irresponsible and this goes to show how irresponsible the father is for not marrying her mum properly and for u,u had better leave the road u walkng on.

Na bush u dey go so.

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