Rapture2021:

I will consult my lawyer on my next move

And give us feedback

Most Nigerian men sabi marry nonsense.

And e dey pain me if such a stupid man na up and doing G wey get small coins for pocket.

Some of us can't have this problem because we learned early on how to put a woman in her place and nurture her according to our unique preferences. No room for deviation. Small indiscretions are allowed as fallible humans but nothing major because any acts of disrespect would be met with immediate, highly dreaded consequences. It is not even about violence. Beating women is a weak man's game. But real Gees know how far.

As cliché as it sounds, lots of upcoming guys need to have the redpill forced into them intravenously. The older, victimised ones like the OP who are already in it can't be rescued. They are already lost.

Rapture2021:
Before I say one thing my wife has abused the hell out of me,she was such a calm and reserved person before we married,but today at the slightest of misunderstanding she begins the insult,even getting close to my face telling me to beat her,I have never laid a finger on her,but she is tempting me to do that. How can a woman calls a man fool, idiot, animal? I have reported her family severally and yet she is not changing.

I opened a boutique business for her last year,now she said she wants to sell baby things,and I have done it half way,I had to just prank her that the other money I was expecting hasn't come, immediately she began the insult again to my face,as it is the prank is getting real because I will not give her the money anymore

A woman does not go from loving you to being indifferent to you. She goes from loving you to hating you. What you do is up to you.

We are in thesame pot just that my own is worst because I am not working at the moment. I beat my her once and she collapse I spend a lot in the hospital, from that day I vow never to touch her again.
Is close to 4months now that I am not working I have searched for jobs until I'm tired, sometime I even suspect her of doing something to me so that I can stay in the house and look after the children . When she wasn't working she was calm, respectful but now she talk to me any how even Infront of the children
I warned her several times to mind her words when she is Infront of the children, but she do it time and again up to the extend that she is texting men when we are lying on the bed at night I clone her WhatsApp I can see everything from my phone.
One thing I am thanking God is to let me go through this to really understand who I am dealing with.
I have promise myself to let her feel free , when I got a job .....we will separate.

Rapture2021:


Thank you,for long I stopped laughing much with her due to this her attitude,they was a time she threatened cheating on me. These ladies takes advantage of us christians who hold positions in church, thinking we cannot divorce. But I will shock her

e no reach to divorce wife insulting husband is not a new tin. Leave the house for a month. If that does not break her, send her back. But her threat about cheating is no joke she fi don dey duam.

Karleb:
You don't need to lay a finger on her but rather, insult her back.

When she calls you a fool, call her an idiot.


Omo! How una dey cope for that kind life?

Respect no dey the marriage, settle it with her in the best way you can

Your marriage is at stake here and all that concerns her is her business? OP divorce is not an option for now..separation for a while is necessary.. but not divorce. keep your distance and think it through

Rapture2021:
Before I say one thing my wife has abused the hell out of me,she was such a calm and reserved person before we married,but today at the slightest of misunderstanding she begins the insult,even getting close to my face telling me to beat her,I have never laid a finger on her,but she is tempting me to do that. How can a woman calls a man fool, idiot, animal? I have reported her family severally and yet she is not changing.

I opened a boutique business for her last year,now she said she wants to sell baby things,and I have done it half way,I had to just prank her that the other money I was expecting hasn't come, immediately she began the insult again to my face,as it is the prank is getting real because I will not give her the money anymore

Go marry another she go get sense

Rapture2021:
Before I say one thing my wife has abused the hell out of me,she was such a calm and reserved person before we married,but today at the slightest of misunderstanding she begins the insult,even getting close to my face telling me to beat her,I have never laid a finger on her,but she is tempting me to do that. How can a woman calls a man fool, idiot, animal? I have reported her family severally and yet she is not changing.

I opened a boutique business for her last year,now she said she wants to sell baby things,and I have done it half way,I had to just prank her that the other money I was expecting hasn't come, immediately she began the insult again to my face,as it is the prank is getting real because I will not give her the money anymore

Let her leave so you can have the near-absolute peace of mind which most men crave for. She has to get gone ASAP before you both harm each other. Period.

kamtamark:
We are in thesame pot just that my own is worst because I am not working at the moment. I beat my her once and she collapse I spend a lot in the hospital, from that day I vow never to touch her again.
Is close to 4months now that I am not working I have searched for jobs until I'm tired, sometime I even suspect her of doing something to me so that I can stay in the house and look after the children . When she wasn't working she was calm, respectful but now she talk to me any how even Infront of the children
I warned her several times to mind her words when she is Infront of the children, but she do it time and again up to the extend that she is texting men when we are lying on the bed at night I clone her WhatsApp I can see everything from my phone.
One thing I am thanking God is to let me go through this to really understand who I am dealing with.
I have promise myself to let her feel free , when I got a job .....we will separate.

We warned but you people called us misogynists. Enjoy your marriage sir.

Rapture2021:
Before I say one thing my wife has abused the hell out of me,she was such a calm and reserved person before we married,but today at the slightest of misunderstanding she begins the insult,even getting close to my face telling me to beat her,I have never laid a finger on her,but she is tempting me to do that. How can a woman calls a man fool, idiot, animal? I have reported her family severally and yet she is not changing.

I opened a boutique business for her last year,now she said she wants to sell baby things,and I have done it half way,I had to just prank her that the other money I was expecting hasn't come, immediately she began the insult again to my face,as it is the prank is getting real because I will not give her the money anymore

This one don go marry who pass am

Snow2six:
My own na anambra, i nogo advice my enemy 2 reach thr person wey de insult me say trailer go jam me, efcc go hold me, i nogo c beta, sometimes she go drag cloth i jst buy,tear am un2 say mek i nogo out, na she b d 1st gal i beat 4 my life,me wey no support beatin,me pursue her o,dm wan com use say mek i marry her via court weddin un2 cos she born 4me(me wey still de hustle wetin b dm plan)i tel dm 2 hold d baby as na wetin dm wan use enta me...life goes on

Tears of married men dey sweet me die. We warned but they called us kids, saying things like grow up, receive sense and so on. The most understanding men in our loving country are simps and married men. Oga, please keep quiet and enjoy your marriage. Cheers.

Coleman7:
Let your words be few. Stop talking much with her.
Grow your spirit man be alive. Do whatever you feel is good to her, be nice to her.
Proceed and open the boutique for her, but don't let your mouth be open for long, always act more and say less. Don't treat her bad, even when she does so. If the heat is so much, you can leave the house and stay off for days without her knowing your movement.

Let your words be few but treat her nice.

it's not everyone who is reserve to do as you advice. Some like a partner that the will gist and talk together at all times. Like me, I like it when I speak with my woman always, if my woman is a reserve type, I will quietly divorce her. I'm a lively person. I don't like sadistic fellow

Rapture2021:
Before I say one thing my wife has abused the hell out of me,she was such a calm and reserved person before we married,but today at the slightest of misunderstanding she begins the insult,even getting close to my face telling me to beat her,I have never laid a finger on her,but she is tempting me to do that. How can a woman calls a man fool, idiot, animal? I have reported her family severally and yet she is not changing.

I opened a boutique business for her last year,now she said she wants to sell baby things,and I have done it half way,I had to just prank her that the other money I was expecting hasn't come, immediately she began the insult again to my face,as it is the prank is getting real because I will not give her the money anymore

I suggest you find out why your wife is angry with you and work from there.

And don't bring your issues to this site.

MuMuOnBail:
Na wa ooo



As a man, you are the Boss of the family. Just like a captain of a ship or plane. It is your responsibility to take control and lead.

The moment your wife start insulting you directly to your face, am sorry to say that you have failed, it will take God grace and hard work to gain your respect back.

Never ever give room to a woman to insult you directly to your face not even jokenly, women are like children.

None of my side chicks dare call me the name 'BABY' not even my wife, that is were disrespect start from, you are the BOSS not the BABY
They all refer to me as 'SIR', except my wife who mostly refer to me as 'MY EXCELLENCY, MY LOVE OR MY KING'

My Brother, Your wife don see you finish

SOLUTION: Look for a god fearing side chick, who will respect and be praying for you and start f*cking her. Ignore your wife, come home very late, some days don't even come home. Let her suspect that you are f*cking outside, but make sure she don't find out but let her be suspecting. When you come home play with the children, buy them gift and go to bed, don't even touch her. Provide for the family, always be happy for no reason, make sure you don't keep an angry face, start dressing nice, buy an expensive perfume and use it, start wearing nice jeans and T-shirts etc.

Stop talking too much, let your response be brief and straight to the point........

(REMEMBER AGAIN ) Always leave very early and come home very late


Within 3 months her brain will reset, If e no reset just leave her for God, because won other broda don the shine her Kongo well pass you

I approve this advice. Mumuonbail, take am. Na man you be.

You brought out the beast in her

Namaster:
What your wife is doing to you is domestic abuse. Domestic abuse from men manifests in physical abuse. Domestic abuse from women manifests in verbal abuse.

Obviously, your wife neither respect nor love you. Her attraction to you is dead. You are the cash cow now.

You have two options:

1. Divorce her: This is your best option. It's the soft way out. Zero scandal. More peace of mind. Plus, you can use the money you're spending on the ungrateful b1tch to expand your business or investment.

Send her packing and bring in a new, fresh and young 23-year old girl with big yansh that thinks the world of you. You don't have to tolerate an aging, unattractive woman who belittles you.

This is one of the best parts about living in Nigeria. The bitch gets no alimony or child support. You don't have to give her a dime. Throw her sh1t out and let her fend for herself.

Let Renewed Hope engulf her in a tight hug without the benefit of your financial resources shielding her.

She'll understand why some women are going naked to pray for husbands.

2. Beat the shit out of her: Your wife is a bully. Bullies get more confident and empowered when their victims don't fight back.

And you sound like one of those men who vow to never hit a woman no matter what. That's a fine ideal. But brash people who wilfully take actions to harm you deserve whatever they get.

She's attacking you. You need to defend yourself. Take a cue from Israel and respond with overwhelming force. If she comes at you with sharp words and loud voice. Retaliate with hard slaps and heavy blows.

Fight fire with inferno. It's a FAFO world now.

She's playing to her strength by attacking you with words. You will fail if you try to respond with words. You can NEVER match her.

Your strength is physical. Beat the living shit out of her. She can NEVER match you.

The downside to this is that you could end up killing her. Your tale would become one of the ones we read on Nairaland.

Beating her is a solution. She'll come to fear and respect you. Plus, she'll no longer feel bored with being with you. She'll constantly anticipate the next direction the vawulence will come from. Also, make up sex.

This is twisted but if you still love her, you'll begin to whoop her silly.

That said, it's in your best interest to just divorce her and move on. Don't let her drag you into her twisted ways.

You be pro.

Ones in a while, my woman will just start acting strange like someone who needs factory reset, my slap is an auto resetting button, she go just calm after she collect, and the make up sex is always crazy because she becomes extra submissive, the next few months will be so sweet until she needs another factory reset.

I pity men who don’t know how to handle their women when they get violent, no be everything dem dey keep shut to.

One trick you can use is this, if she abuse you and she is not stopping,give her a deadly abuse, like she will die tonight, she will not wake up the following day, iku ma pae ni ale yi, Iya ma ku sibi ti koni ri Eni sinku e, my brother she go go low key straight....

Here you are sounding so innocent....
Nwokem, there's no smoke without fire.
Check yourself.
Next thread abeg

Rapture2021:
Before I say one thing my wife has abused the hell out of me,she was such a calm and reserved person before we married,but today at the slightest of misunderstanding she begins the insult,even getting close to my face telling me to beat her,I have never laid a finger on her,but she is tempting me to do that. How can a woman calls a man fool, idiot, animal? I have reported her family severally and yet she is not changing.

I opened a boutique business for her last year,now she said she wants to sell baby things,and I have done it half way,I had to just prank her that the other money I was expecting hasn't come, immediately she began the insult again to my face,as it is the prank is getting real because I will not give her the money anymore

How did you lose your respect?
You bought it initially with money, you have shown weakness in being decisive, you have failed in leadership.

What do you do?
You must first understand she has a higher mental energy than you. She never should have been your wife.
Stop funding anything other than home expenses. Those you can do yourself, make sure to do them.
Stand your ground whenever you make a decision.
Report her to her father or Uncle or Elder brother, whichever is available and can speak to her senses. Do not report her to any female.

*Never fall for her trick to make you beat her. She wants an excuse to paint you as a demon. The day you lay a finger on her, you lose*

I hope she has not done something terrible she should not be forgiven for that you forgave her. It makes a man appear weak.

Na wetin my small sense fit think I don write so.

Rapture2021:
Before I say one thing my wife has abused the hell out of me,she was such a calm and reserved person before we married,but today at the slightest of misunderstanding she begins the insult,even getting close to my face telling me to beat her,I have never laid a finger on her,but she is tempting me to do that. How can a woman calls a man fool, idiot, animal? I have reported her family severally and yet she is not changing.

I opened a boutique business for her last year,now she said she wants to sell baby things,and I have done it half way,I had to just prank her that the other money I was expecting hasn't come, immediately she began the insult again to my face,as it is the prank is getting real because I will not give her the money anymore

Your write up shows the following

- she is being influenced by outside interests ( be it a friend, relationship or TV shows )
- usually couples get closer and communicate better not press each others buttons.
- I would suggest you find a marriage counselor and talk this through before she provokes you to physically beat her and then feel guilty.

[quote author=advanceDNA post=126718450]

Must u do every thing ur wife demands? Una no understand how women be ooo...Na una dey let this women ride una......

By responding to all her demands like a waiter....
Lol @ " .. like a waiter..."

Rapture2021:


Thank you,for long I stopped laughing much with her due to this her attitude,they was a time she threatened cheating on me. These ladies takes advantage of us christians who hold positions in church, thinking we cannot divorce. But I will shock her

This is a pathetic situation. My wife has never for once in her life remotely say anything close to insulting me.. She is too mannered to think about that even if she gets angry which she hardly does.
This is what you will do.. Use the "Stick & Carrot" approach.
Do your best to go to the root of her sudden change in behavior and discussing deep with her and ask what you have done wrong in the family to warrant insults at the slightest provocation (Women often do that if they have an irritable issue about you). Be genuine about seeking for a solution and helping her or you both to finding a solution. If that works, good for you.
But if her madness na natural one, Bros use all manner of tactics to show her shege (forget church matter, marriage can kill you).. Don't sleep at home, don't provide, scatter beer bottles everywhere even if you don't drink.. Just get on her nerves and be proud of it without apologies. All this is in a bid to re-assert your dominance in the house.
Trust me, she will come begging.

Map1:
Kids are involved in marriage this days, When you see a growing up Man knee down for a Jobless lady to marry him this is what you get at the end,as a Man, you provide for shelter, food, clothes, education, health, transportation and many unforseen Bill,yet she still Insulting you because you can't create a business for her on time,then if i may ask, what is her own responsibility?My brother there are a lot of better women outside there who are well established and looking for a better husband to marry, when it gets to a stage that Woman don't appreciate your role,send her to her family let them feed her for a month,if she threatened to cheat on you,send her out , before any Man can give a woman 5k now,her Toto will cry for it

Lots of men are yet to realize that bending the knee to propose to a woman is a fempowerment strategy that betatizes men.

The OP must have been feminized/betatized by succumbing to her wife's betatization concessions many times. And women don't like betatized men. Now he's reaping the fruit of his doings.

Rapture2021:
Before I say one thing my wife has abused the hell out of me,she was such a calm and reserved person before we married,but today at the slightest of misunderstanding she begins the insult,even getting close to my face telling me to beat her,I have never laid a finger on her,but she is tempting me to do that. How can a woman calls a man fool, idiot, animal? I have reported her family severally and yet she is not changing.

I opened a boutique business for her last year,now she said she wants to sell baby things,and I have done it half way,I had to just prank her that the other money I was expecting hasn't come, immediately she began the insult again to my face,as it is the prank is getting real because I will not give her the money anymore

If you abide with what I said you will come out of it ..I hope you understands this

You are at fault in everything ..Don’t you know it takes a disciplined woman to know what she needs and not want ?

You have spoiled her that at any demands she gets it ..Why not try the other way round ?

Have you form brokenness before? Or you feel you are too caring and feel pity for her even when you have and u can’t do without given to her when she ask you for anything !

As a man you don’t answer all women’s wants they are insatiable means u can’t satisfy woman unless she is in need!


Sometimes the solution is good slap to reset their brain but I won’t asked you to go that lane

Let’s take this steps
1.Get enough foods stuff in the house and make sure there are more than enough food in the house and all the basic utilities are handled
2.Form brokenness and feel down at times this is to know her real identity ..

For evening go out chill for beer parlour or just refresh your mind ..Don’t cheat but be free..Dont over drink just make your self happy !

3.Dont eat too much in the house ,sometimes tell her u are filled ..that you don’t have appetite

4. Hit the Gym and pour your annoyance on that

5. Dress well and smell nice

6.All the business you want to open for her ..Tell her you will but she need to take her time and ask her sensitive questions about her feasibility study on the new business ..tell her to give you time like some months ..
7.Surprise her needs not gratify her immediate want
8.Be careful too and pray more ,if she wasn’t like that before work on your self so u can be the book she reads
9.Dont insult her back just give her silent treatment ,do all you need to do to the house and for sometimes avoid over familiarities and mind your business.
10.Read more or research more !keep working on your self
in all leave it to God

I come in peace I hope it meets you in peace .. God be with your marriage

There's no smoke without fire your wife cannot just start acting negatively towards you without a reason.

The best way to get her back to her right sense is to prove to her that you're not guilty of what she's accusing of but if you're guilty you better change because from your write
up a woman cannot threatening to cheat on you boldly in your face without suspecting you of cheating.

All the disrespect from her is as a result of what she's suspecting you of.......

APOPTOSIS:

Honestly.
Men really need to wake up.
They have to be made to understand they don't need marriage as a prerequisite for Good and Peaceful Life. I wish many men will relocate abroad and see the number of successful single fathers we have abroad. Most even take care of their kids far better than their ex wives would have. Travelling isn't only for fun but for enlightenment and educational purposes.
B4 getting married, make sure you won't be trading your peace of mind. This goes to include the ladies too

Yeah. Travelling is an eye-opener.

If you even watch old American films in the 60s such as The Graduate etc., you'd realise that what many of these Nigerian males in this current generation of marriages are facing is exactly what the Americans were facing then in their then conservative culture such as ours.

Though theirs have now degenerated with several legal backings to the extent that Men hardly toast talkless of nearing marriage.

Nigeria would surely degenerate to that level.The only thing making it slower is the kind of leaders we have here. Though "sociopatic" but still very masculine. So, the laws and influences are only coming gradually. Many of which are even still practicing polygamy. If the likes of the Peter Obi with more structure and western influence come in, of course the degeneration would have been faster. And the OP would suffer more.

rickleye:



Your write up shows the following

- she is being influenced by outside interests ( be it a friend, relationship or TV shows )
- usually couples get closer and communicate better not press each others buttons.
- I would suggest you find a marriage counselor and talk this through before she provokes you to physically beat her and then feel guilty.

Truth is you are too soft…. No more mysterious, predictable, and allowed her to get away with a lot of shyt without immediate comeback…

So

You are on your way to lotus of misery…..

Unless you start acting mysterious, not giving her her way.. and being nonchalant about things… (plus dont ask her for any intimacy…..)

See Men, let me tell you one thing you must know. I have been in marriage for 8 years , I married when I was 28 years. Please don't ever allow your wife to share the same room with you no matter what, dont allow her access to your phone because you feel you are doing equal right and lovey dovey.Or take her abroad expecially UK or US were woman is seen as a king.Once there is see finish you are gone.,once you want to empower her as your wife ,you are gone. Is in their nature to abuse people thats why women dont love themselves. They is no love anywhere ,even if there is love, it always vanished in the process when she starts listening to her friends and close relatives.For you to remain in control keep her permanently down.I have been in all this problem. An always avoid a girl that talks too much. I love all the fathers. We give more yet the universe its always against us.

Marry rubbish as wife!, can never be me... I go condemn that mouth she dey use insult me, carry her go hospital myself!, can't even marry someone like that in the first place cus I test people to the extreme!, you be real weak man and you're pathetic, Nonsense!

The reality is that this attitude didn't start today!

The narrative that she was calm and reserved then is because you allowed yourself to see what you wanted to see and hence tolerated whatever attitude she put up in the past!

You allowed her to do what she wanted even to the point of disrespecting you but you waived it aside as nothing that you should worry about!

You allowed her beauty and body shape( instead of a good character) to cloud your sense of judgement and you refused to see the warning signs aka red flags even when it was more than obvious!

Now she is exhibiting in a larger proportion what you had previously ignored!

You are now a see-finish to her and any attempt to hit her will be a wrong move as she will ensure that she gains an advantage of your outburst as a glorious pass and a splendid opportunity to quit or exit the marriage!

Once a gf or wifey starts disrespecting you,just know you have lost your honour in that relationship or marriage,and the best option is to quit the union!

Staying put will only lead to two scenarios....You will either 'kick the bucket' due depression from her persistent insults or you get angry and hit her which might land you in a cell for wife battery or jail time if it turns out fatal!
Either way,you lose!

Rapture2021:


Thank you,for long I stopped laughing much with her due to this her attitude,they was a time she threatened cheating on me. These ladies takes advantage of us christians who hold positions in church, thinking we cannot divorce. But I will shock her

She's already cheating.