Toks2008: Isaiah 4:1 New International Version (NIV)

1 In that day seven women will take hold of one man and say, “We will eat our own f ;Dood and provide our own clothes; only let us be called by your name. Take away our disgrace!”

urhoboman: or take a spiritual bath in the Atlantic ocean.




On a serious note, it is not a must to marry, why cant these single ladies try to be successful and Live a beautiful life?
Our society is to be blame too.

donpeey22: My post is the truth and nothing but the truth. This is how the pressure goes:
Biology > ladies
Ladies(society)> men.
So you see, society(desperate ladies inclusive) puts more pressure on men to get married.

ADEBOSUN:

As nice as this sounds, the proclamation of female independence and ability to self sustain, it's a very selfish way to go.
Apologies to the quoted, but you'd only be setting up that child for disaster.

As much as I admire single parents that are able to go it alone after death or divorce, it's not something you should set out for.

I've observed the following

1. Parental Dependence
Single mothers tend to commit their lifes to their kids and give them all they need. But as good as this sounds, once the kids are grown, they tend to put so much pressure on the kids to pay them attention; whether consciously or unconsciously.
It's almost like payback time, they gave their all to this child, they expect them to reciprocate. This is just too much responsibility on that child.

2. Sense of guilt
No matter what the child does, they always remind them of how they spent the better part of their youth training the child, staying away from men, not getting married because they wanted to have time for their kid rather than share the attention with a man.
As good as this sounds, they fail to understand that they made their own decision, the child didn't ask for it!
Dont exoect some payback for parental deeds done out of free will. You brought that child to the world, you made the decision to nurture them how you deemed fit. They don't owe you for that.

3. Retirement plan
Most single parents erroneously see their kids as their retirement plans. Even though this is not peculiar to single parents alone, It's more pronounced.
See, parents are meant to leave an inheritance for their children's children! You should have your retirement planned enough to cater for 3 generations. Yours, your child's and your grand children's.... minimum.

4. They hold their kids back.
Single parents are either too eager to send their female children into "forced " marriages whether outrightly or systematically and restrain their male children from getting married on time. They usually are afraid that another woman will take their son away from them. Even though this is not just peculiar to single parents, its more profound with them.
Your husband or wife should be that companion you seek in old age, not your child. It's too much responsibility for the child. The only reason why any child should be subjected to this is if death took away one of their parents, and not just a selfish choice one of the parents made. And even death doesn't excuse the parent from taking a hold on things...but it can be forgiven, only in death.

4. You bring up an imbalanced child.......... I think this explains itself. It take male and female to raise a child.

missbronze: Na una sabi.

As for me, the only thing i desire in this life is to have a CHILD. A child to give all my love, to train, and to raise.

And, is only a child that will make me do anything desprate. because, a child is all i desire in this life.

Husband or no Husband, i dont give a damn.

And, am so glad that one can have a child without a husband.

missbronze: Na una sabi.

As for me, the only thing i desire in this life is to have a CHILD. A child to give all my love, to train, and to raise.

And, is only a child that will make me do anything desprate. because, a child is all i desire in this life.

Husband or no Husband, i dont give a damn.

And, am so glad that one can have a child without a husband.

ADEBOSUN:

As nice as this sounds, the proclamation of female independence and ability to self sustain, it's a very selfish way to go.
Apologies to the quoted, but you'd only be setting up that child for disaster.

As much as I admire single parents that are able to go it alone after death or divorce, it's not something you should set out for.

I've observed the following

1. Parental Dependence
Single mothers tend to commit their lifes to their kids and give them all they need. But as good as this sounds, once the kids are grown, they tend to put so much pressure on the kids to pay them attention; whether consciously or unconsciously.
It's almost like payback time, they gave their all to this child, they expect them to reciprocate. This is just too much responsibility on that child.

2. Sense of guilt
No matter what the child does, they always remind them of how they spent the better part of their youth training the child, staying away from men, not getting married because they wanted to have time for their kid rather than share the attention with a man.
As good as this sounds, they fail to understand that they made their own decision, the child didn't ask for it!
Dont exoect some payback for parental deeds done out of free will. You brought that child to the world, you made the decision to nurture them how you deemed fit. They don't owe you for that.

3. Retirement plan
Most single parents erroneously see their kids as their retirement plans. Even though this is not peculiar to single parents alone, It's more pronounced.
See, parents are meant to leave an inheritance for their children's children! You should have your retirement planned enough to cater for 3 generations. Yours, your child's and your grand children's.... minimum.

4. They hold their kids back.
Single parents are either too eager to send their female children into "forced " marriages whether outrightly or systematically and restrain their male children from getting married on time. They usually are afraid that another woman will take their son away from them. Even though this is not just peculiar to single parents, its more profound with them.
Your husband or wife should be that companion you seek in old age, not your child. It's too much responsibility for the child. The only reason why any child should be subjected to this is if death took away one of their parents, and not just a selfish choice one of the parents made. And even death doesn't excuse the parent from taking a hold on things...but it can be forgiven, only in death.

4. You bring up an imbalanced child.......... I think this explains itself. It take male and female to raise a child.

donpeey22: I am sure you haven't read about the survival chances of the xx and xy chromosomes, but you should have known that more men than women are exposed to early death by accident, war etc. Average life expectancy for men is lower than that of women, or do you think those that gave the figures are foolish.?

missbronze: Na una sabi.

As for me, the only thing i desire in this life is to have a CHILD. A child to give all my love, to train, and to raise.

And, is only a child that will make me do anything desprate. because, a child is all i desire in this life.

Husband or no Husband, i dont give a damn.

And, am so glad that one can have a child without a husband.

stinggy: They can't get me

Toks2008: This is my candid advice for the young eoman out there who still probably have time talking about ladies of 25yrs or below.

I keep telling ladies and when i write things like this it seems im stupid or i too know.

Marrying a man is not about your feelings towards him but his feelings towards you and its not about six packs,tall height,cute looks or even the cheese in his pocket.

A lady needs a man that will truly cherish her and every other thing is secondary and if you think i am blabbing,go do your research and you will realize that no matter how you think you love a guy,if he treats you like serious shit,that love you have for him will fly through the window.

It really matters to like the man in your life i know but trust me,if that man treats you well and i mean like a real queen,i give you a short while and you will wake up one day to realize how deeply you have fallen for him too even if he is a short fat ugly guy..Please think deep before falling for that sweet tongue guy.

As a lady,you an an endangered specie in this cruel world of man and your love for a man is so insignificant if he does not love you and your strong desire for a guy who does not truly desire you is the greatest mistake you will ever make.

The most unfortunate twist to this is that most ladies know a ,man who truly loves and cherishes them but they are always like "Tunde loves me i know but i don't love him" and she ends up with a man that will treat her like plague so i keep wondering that if ladies will only go for a guy who truly cherishes them, we will have many ladies settling down fast and will also have a very very low rate of divorce.

Be with a man who have strong feelings for you and not the one you have strong feelings for.

I can't stress this enough.

ifekemmie: hmm, true talk but not all ladies does dat. Am exceptional, i do my things in Godly way.

mentorandfriend: I dont still agree with you. Guys take their time. They either give the excuse of trying to make more money, or that they've not found the right woman. For ladies, her parents even hinder her from things as using the family car to roll around town on fridays. They think it scares level headed guys away. Ladies are under more pressure. Meanwhile, I do not quite grab that your biology ish.

kreamidiva: Ehe... the men are having a field day...na only men dey comment for this one.

donpeey22: When I said biology, I meant the female reproductive system which makes women reach menopause at a certain age. See, that some parents stop their single daughters from using cars while still single and all that is just a show of concern and not necessarily pressure. Believe me, men face more pressure to get married than women. Ask any working class bachelor the kind of pressure he goes through in the hands of parents,siblings, kinsmen, friends and most especially, single ladies and you will get a clearer picture of who gets more pressured. I have seen a case where a single guy was practically forced to marry by his kinsmen. They had to give the guy an ultimatum to get married or risk being banned from associating with the kindred. That is what I call pressure. The only thing is that men don't complain as much as women do, because everybody expects them to suck up whatever is thrown at them because they are called "men", while women go about blaming everybody for all their woes.

cococandy: So the men die before they are mature enough to marry leaving only a fraction behind?

Ifebazz:

And how is life beautiful by being successfully single? If you're close to a successful, yet single lady, you will come to understand what success mean to a woman. Even the oyibo ladies feel the brunt too, so it's not a Nigeria thing per se.

cococandy: So the men die before they are mature enough to marry leaving only a fraction behind?

DailyNews: Op, foreign women do more than this. A foreign female friend just recently enrolled in a costly work out class just to lose weight in order to make her boyfriend propose to her- she confided in me.

Ask Australian, Malaysian, American, German, Swedish, etc women being scammed by Nigerian internet romance scammers why they lavish so much money on these unscrupulous Nigerian guys promising them marriage.

So stop making it seem like it is Nigerian ladies alone that do these things to find a husband because your so-called white women mentors do worst just to get married; if u doubt me, make a thorough research.

In all, it is not a crime for a lady to try something new or shed some ugly weigth, or spice up her dull life or let go of bad habits and character just to attract a potentia spouse, by the way, we guys too do ours just to be attractive to women too.

Or why do u think many Nigerian guys are out there doing all sorts of illegal businesses just to acquire money In case you don't know, most are hustling to become a financial powerhouse just so they could stand a greater chance of attracting the best and most beautiful women in town!

Most guys buy or change cars just to attract women too...so move into highbrow arears just to attract more refined ladies..so engage in intensive gyming just to acquire 6 abi 8 packs, others read playboy magazine and the grey sheds just to learn how to blow the minds of women!

The only ones ladies should avoid are- using jazz (juju), using pregnancy to entrap a man, and maybe blackmail.

My opinion