Freest:
It happened this morning oh, was bathing and prepping for work when i heard my dad at the top of his voice, before i knew it i heard mumsy crying, he had slapped her. Am in the same house( Haven't been able to move out yet) and i couldn't just bear my mum crying so i went to my dad to tell him what he did was not right. He is almost 60 and so is his wife, at that age you slap your wife i was trying to use the voice of reason as i was angry but kept my calm (Who wouldn't be angry seeing his/her mum cry?) before i could finish explaining and appealing to him i received from his left hand of righteousness a resounding slap... it got me confused as i didn't know what i did to deserve such. I didn't say anything harsh nor abusive. Am angry but didn't wanna return that slap nor say words I'll regret. I told him I'm moving out and he just lost a son, he replied that i wont be missed. I wanna do something he'll never forget, before i leave, please i need advice as it dented my personality even amongst my younger siblings and neighbors. I really am confused on what to do before moving out. Am so pissed now
pls sincere advice. thanks

Honestly, I commend your effort for confronting him. You're an adult and knows what's best for your Mum. From what you wrote, I guess presently you can't live on your own comfortably and still depend on Parents support. I advise you make use of the opportunity. spend time with your Mum and keep her company. Your dad is still your Dad, just give your due respect and nothing more he doesn't need your attention or help for now until he's accepted what he did was wrong. You can just be scarce at his presence but don't Park Out if you cannot find for yourself yet. Don't make the mistake out of anger. Be Patient, Hard Working and it'll reward you and you'll one day be a proud father. He made that grave mistake but he's still your father you can't disown him the Silent treatment you'll start giving him is enough reason for him to know he is wrong and not setting good examples for his kid.

Start letting your siblings know the right thing about Domestic Violence. Enlighten them so they don't just see you as the Bad egg. God'll help you. Don't Park out if you cannot comfortably live on your own please.

babaireti:

It is obvious you dont have parents or maybe you were not properly brought up,because from the way you sounded in your comment,men! it shows you are a product of adultery and not a properly consummated matrimonial arrangement that does not have the privilege to understand the significance of a FATHER to his CHILD.
And to the poster: your FATHER is your small god,he deserve your sympathy and respect just the same as your MUM,dont disrespect him if you still want to enjoy the favour of GOD

Small god?!.... and if you are a product of ashana runs doesn't make me one...... my dad cannot not even raise his voice at my mum.... once wey e try am, the eye wey I look am he compose himself... small god my yansh...... Respect is Recoprocal.... if you don't respect yourself small pikin go insult you...

....and FIY, my dad and I are very close,closer than you Baba can ever be with your son... SIR!!

loomer:


HOW I GO SLAP WOMAN, WAT I WAS TRYING TO LET THE GUY KNOW IS, U DON'T CONFRONT AN ANGRY MAN LIKE THAT, ESPECIALLY WHEN U KNOW NOTHIN ABT WHY HE IS ANGRY.....

PLEASE NOTE, THE OP JUST MAKE US UNDERSTAND SAY HIM NO USE HIGH TONE FOR THE PAPA, WHICH MIGHT NOT BE TRUE.

I'm sorry but I don't think he even needs to ask why he slapped her, that makes it seems if there are acceptable reasons. I support him confronting the dad , the dad may think twice about slapping her next time.

He needs to give the father very cold silent treatment. Say nothing more to him than good morning sir, good night sir etc. when somebody does something very bad we have to let them know, dad or not.

Babs24:


Funny you, i hope the OP wont take to this sha... Wanna beat your dad? Abeg make i ask you a question, If to say na your mum slap your dad, will you beat tha hell outta your mum

The truth is you have no right to raise hand against either of your parents no matter what!!!

No one said anything about beating one's dad.... there are more painful ways to handle this issue

eleko1:
that is good for U.Why do u rush to confront ur dad without asking ur mum why she was slapped.He gave u dat resounding slap cos he see U as taking side with ur mama.Ur mum probably say something that warrant her being slapped(I dnt support woman battered)Ur best bet now is to settle the issue/misunderstanding between them not rushing/park out.

No mata wat, dis woman accordin 2 d OP is almost in ha 60s ooo ahah old woman like dat nt cool @ all

Wow! The comments on this thread though.

OP, just breathe, don't make decisions when angry, good thing you restrained yourself from retaliating.

Just calm down first before making any decisions.

komek:


Ranting of a small boy.

Mr Big man..... rant your own na

Drain the engine oil from all his cars and go away...

Freest:
It happened this morning oh, was bathing and prepping for work when i heard my dad at the top of his voice, before i knew it i heard mumsy crying, he had slapped her. Am in the same house( Haven't been able to move out yet) and i couldn't just bear my mum crying so i went to my dad to tell him what he did was not right. He is almost 60 and so is his wife, at that age you slap your wife i was trying to use the voice of reason as i was angry but kept my calm (Who wouldn't be angry seeing his/her mum cry?) before i could finish explaining and appealing to him i received from his left hand of righteousness a resounding slap... it got me confused as i didn't know what i did to deserve such. I didn't say anything harsh nor abusive. Am angry but didn't wanna return that slap nor say words I'll regret. I told him I'm moving out and he just lost a son, he replied that i wont be missed. I wanna do something he'll never forget, before i leave, please i need advice as it dented my personality even amongst my younger siblings and neighbors. I really am confused on what to do before moving out. Am so pissed now
pls sincere advice. thanks

santinoj:
As long as you are in his house and in your late 20s, then you are still a kid and has no right whatsoever to come between him and his wife's argument. When you eventually marry and have your family, you'll understand better. If you had to do anything, you should have waited for him to calm down later and talk to him gently, but the approach you used was wrong. He was totally wrong, but you were more wrong to confront him as long as you are living under his roof. Remember, tamper with anything, but not a man's pride.

so u r trying to tell me u can bear ur father beating or slaping mum and u will wait till he calm sorry to say u don't love ur mum.

eleko1:
that is good for U.Why do u rush to confront ur dad without asking ur mum why she was slapped.He gave u dat resounding slap cos he see U as taking side with ur mama.Ur mum probably say something that warrant her being slapped(I dnt support woman battered)Ur best bet now is to settle the issue/misunderstanding between them not rushing/park out.

Hear ursef?.....even if d woman used her husband's manhood as meat for d previous meal dey had b4 sleeping watz d idea of slapping a woman he has spent more dan 30yrs of his life wit?......tink well ma fwend(shez also almost 60yrs old)

When people marry prople they agreed and the consiquences of their decision os theirs, you are a 3rd party in your parent's marriage. Do you know how many times your Mum slaps your Dad? You walked in when she got served and you are prooving 21st century pikin, thunder fire the devil.

Dnt act in anger thats one.two u are nt suppose to be staying wit ur parents still. Again wat did ur mum do fr the slap to land on her cheek. #vegatalks#

SmooshCHN:
Honestly, I commend your effort for confronting him. You're an adult and knows what's best for your Mum. From what you wrote, I guess presently you can't live on your own comfortably and still depend on Parents support. I advise you make use of the opportunity. spend time with your Mum and keep her company. Your dad is still your Dad, just give your due respect and nothing more he doesn't need your attention or help for now until he's accepted what he did was wrong. You can just be scarce at his presence but don't Park Out if you cannot find for yourself yet. Don't make the mistake out of anger. Be Patient, Hard Working and it'll reward you and you'll one day be a proud father. He made that grave mistake but he's still your father you can't disown him the Silent treatment you'll start giving him is enough reason for him to know he is wrong and not setting good examples for his kid.

Start letting your siblings know the right thing about Domestic Violence. Enlighten them so they don't just see you as the Bad egg. God'll help you. Don't Park out if you cannot comfortably live on your own please.

Thanks dude. This piece is really appreciated. i work, i earn, but haven't been able to move put cos of some projects am currently doing plus am earning not so much too, hence my staying with them till things fall properly in place

You probably should have confronted him having established that he was angry.I guess you called ego to play here.Place yourself in his shoes,do you want to be confronted the same manner by your own son?.If no then try to maintain peace in the house

SAMBARRY:
This is the most sensible post I have read so far. The only way to make a violent person stop his violence is by destroying the properties he loves e.g tearing of important documents, setting his clothes on fire etc. That is the only way to quell violence. Ignoring it will just be giving him more courage to continue. If he's aware that for every act of violence perpetrated by any member of the family there's a repercussion.he will think twice. And I wonder why marriages even old ones have turned to war zones



so much for marital security indeed. Shioorr

Thank you!!.... it's simple psychology...... as you cannot fight the person,result to emotional war.... e go learn quick

fem29:


I'm sorry but I don't think he even needs to ask why he slapped her, that makes it seems if there are acceptable reasons. I support him confronting the dad , the dad may think twice about slapping her next time.

He needs to give the father very cold silent treatment. Say nothing more to him than good morning sir, good night sir etc. when somebody does something very bad we have to let them know, dad or not.

SURE, WE ARE ALL PROTECTIVE OF OUR MOTHERS, BUT WE NEED ALSO DO THINGS THE RIGHT WAY

TheRainmaker1:


Hahahahaha...lwkm

Whoever you are, YOU ARE EVIL

How can you give him such advice

I'm not evil....... I'm straught forward and logical!!

udz:
U are in ur late 20's, then ur Dad FUCKD UP. He doesnt have respect for U yet. try and earn ur respect not by fighting him. Give him a good dose of silent treatment, move out frm his cmfort zone. Bet me, in just 2 months, he will start complaining to every dick and harry to call U and ask why? He wouldnt want to come out open and beg U. Guy am talking from experience.

D angel dat wired ur brain during creation graduated wit a 1st class frm oxford uni.....u jst made ma point clear " man F*cked up"

Btw OP, you did the right thing by confronting your dad, I'd do the same if I were to be you.

How can he slap her this early morning especially at that age, more so over food, your dad seems to have anger issues and someone needs to set him straight, just stay calm and work it out when your head is clearer.

udz:


my friend, just forward ur cheek for a slap. u deserve more.

smh..lol. funny boy

Infancy stage in human growth and development re-appears @ old age. O.P, it could be that your Mum had done nothing wrong. There could be more to your dad's fury than a financial one(debt). It could range from marrying a younger wife, hates aging, compulsory obsessive behavior, soul searching and self evaluation. I'll ADVISE you pray about this before approaching your dad in order to settle this peacefully without involving a 3rd party for people manage their homes and its problems. Again, whenever you are ready to move out please do so for some parents fail to release the fact that their children are grown ups, thereby respecting their opinions and decisions. Visiting them occasionally will earn you more respect for they will not only miss you but they will be back to how it started- just the two of them. Listen to some music or play games to help reduce the anger and tension built in you. Take care!

arak4love:
some people self are so funny, because ur father slapped you so d next thing forr u is to pack out? i wonder if u are really a true son or ur bible or quran dont teach u aw to behave to ur parents? even if he beats u he is still ur father and u are still under him

Mschew,she oro niyen?
Op i applaud you for not raising back your hand because i know how hard it wouldv felt.a 60 year old woman is being slapped by her hubby and her grown up son does nt have the right to say anything?shame to y'all that thinks so!you are grown up sir and u should tell him the things nobody else can.thank you for standing up for ur mother,please dont move yet,if he could slap her while you are around itl b worse if otherwise!

JeffreyJamez:
Na you make mistake na...... if I were you,the moment he slapped my mum,he had lost that respect and na as e dey hot I go yarn am scores.... if e do anyhow e sef go collect anyhow... what non-sense!!....

Anyways..... if he has a car,break windscreen and tear the tire..... and tell him you did it! For every slap your mom collects, damage one personal item of his that is precious to him...e go learn quick.

Bible says , do not pay evil with evil.that is a wrong advice , no matter the situation,your father is still your father.

yungcyrus:
u foolish gan......see mumu advice

...and who would you be?

Freest:

i didn't get him angry as he was angry before i even got there. I only went to appeal to him. by the way am more angrier and wanna move out today. But need to teach him a moral lesson before leaving hence d need for this advice

You are still a baby, is this the first time he is slapping you? You wan teach ur papa lesson mama pikin, I know you are one of those calling GEJ names, common slap you want to leave the house, you want nigeria to be united but you can't even unite ur family, the only thing in ur head now is to bring more problem, you don't even know if ur papa is ontop ur mama as u still dey vex so.

Ghadafy:


smh..lol. funny boy

I meant what i said, wasnt funny at all. who dey shine teeth with U?

No matter how angry your Dad was, he shouldn't have even slapped your Mum. Must it end in something violent? What happened to talking to each other in closed doors about the issue?

Anyway, OP calm down. Don't destroy any of his properties and don't move out except you'll be comfortable doing so.

After hitting you in the face, he didn't mean what he said.. He was just angry... Just give him silence treatment, he will come around.. He won't beg you sha because he's Daddy.. Daddies don't beg atleast that's what am made to believe.

Hey kiddo, moving out of the house wont solve the problem. When next he slap or blow your mom, who will comfort her?



All your need is spirit of calmness, and season of prayers for your parents.


It is well with you.!

JeffreyJamez:
Na you make mistake na...... if I were you,the moment he slapped my mum,he had lost that respect and na as e dey hot I go yarn am scores.... if e do anyhow e sef go collect anyhow... what non-sense!!....

Anyways..... if he has a car,break windscreen and tear the tire..... and tell him you did it! For every slap your mom collects, damage one personal item of his that is precious to him...e go learn quick.

Children plenty here

udz:
U are in ur late 20's, then ur Dad FUCKD UP. He doesnt have respect for U yet. try and earn ur respect not by fighting him. Give him a good dose of silent treatment, move out frm his cmfort zone. Bet me, in just 2 months, he will start complaining to every dick and harry to call U and ask why? He wouldnt want to come out open and beg U. Guy am talking from experience.

you dont earn his respect by behaving like high school gals keeping malice, u get respect when u leave that house and start taking care of them and their bills.. u wab keep malice for person house and dey eat him food

Confronting your dad immediately was a very big mistake on your own part. Slapping your mum was wrong but you should have calmed your mum and go to work then when you return talk to your father maturely about it.

Op you Confronted your dad with anger, I can imagine how you spoke to him. Anyways sorry.

yagbaboy1:

The main reason he should swallow his pride, shut up and remain in that house till he is independent enough to scare his popsy of moving out. Btw, u sound like someone who thinks without their parents they can't survive

You're entitled to you opinion.