FrancisTony:
To me, what I understood this to be isn't "men versus women" bash fest but many insecured men on this forum, made it to seem so.

Well, the name "feminism" might not sound cool though "women right activism would have been better".

Now, let me educate you where women are marginalised though it depends on the individuals, anyway.

1) Why would a woman be pestered and called all different sorts of names just because she decided to remain single? but different when it comes to a man. Isn't it marginalisation?
A husband and wife had mutual understanding/agreement on certain things, and some men whom it didn't concern starts telling you how she's a 21st century Jezebel bossing her husband around.

2) You committed the same gender discrimination crime in your original post. Why blaming those divorced American women you listed^^^, instead of finding out what caused the hiatus(probably, their husband), but you lumped the blame on them as sexists would always do.
Again, Kim Kardashian and her mother Kris Jenner has never associated theirselves as a feminist(infact they are anti-feminist).
Kim has divorced twice...
Kris has divorced once....
Lady gaga is also a known anti-feminist and is she having a fufilled life?

3) Why do whenever a female err, her gender would be emphasized on, instead of who did it?.
For instance, when a woman commit a crime, you will hear "women sha" meanwhile, men are expert in that crime.

I guess all these, are not gender discrimination.
Anyhoo, you can't deny gender discrimination.
Like Bisi Fayemi-Adeleye , Ekiti state first lady et al who associate herself as feminist and married. She's carrying out female child rights empowerment.
By the way, No government has taken care of anything about protecting female child rights in Nigeria like you opined; infact they are in support of Child marriage known as yerimarisation. Non-governmental organisation is the sole helper.

Lastly, you claim Nigerian feminists are pseudo, but many, still go ahead to blame feminism for destrowing marriages in Nigeria. Confused much!

Men and women are darn equal.
Men and women represents human and even the holy bible said that God made all things equally in His image.

Are they the same? NO? Infact, no two humans are the same whether male or female.

......Hats off to the only male that makes sense on this section.,big ups

I implore you to desist from quoting me.
Take whatever it is that bites you to the origin where it came from.
If you notice, I like to ignore you.

Accord me the same courtesy pls.
Thank you.

TooNoisy:


Why dont you go back to your village and educate your people that they are talking trash. It's more useful than attacking innocent men here. Don't you think you should go to educate your siblings and cousins in the village? Secondly, why not be the example they can all follow - may be you should not get married or if you are married, you should divorce your husband so that you can prove the saying wrong.

You feminists should focus on the big issues affect those uneducated women in villages.

TooNoisy:


Why dont you go back to your village and educate your people that they are talking trash. It's more useful than attacking innocent men here. Don't you think you should go to educate your siblings and cousins in the village? Secondly, why not be the example they can all follow - may be you should not get married or if you are married, you should divorce your husband so that you can prove the saying wrong.

You feminists should focus on the big issues affecting those uneducated women in villages.

Why not go to your own village and encourage women to be submissive instead of attacking innocent women here.

cococandy:
While I was growing up, I used to hear phrases like "ugwu nwanyi bu di ya"
Loosely translates to "a woman is not worthy of respect except she has a man in her life:husband"

As young as I was, I didn't need anyone to tell me how wrong those teaching were. Little little things that subtly encouraged women to believe they were worst nothing except with the approval of a man.

If it takes having to endure one jab or the other here and there to help promote the idea that as woman your life shouldn't be what it is dictated to you as or that your worth as a human being isn't tied to a man, then so be it.

I'm so unapologetic about my support for feminism. Very very so.
The useless guilt trips won't work as long as the discrimination still exists.

I'll try not act amused when folks coin new words like womanism abi na womanitarianism or equity (and all those other euphemisms) to try to get away from associating directly with the feminist core because of the bad rap,

It is what it is.
It is feminism. It is about gender equality.

In my culture, there is a saying that says "Aponle kosi fun Oba ti ko ni olori" meaning no respect or honor for a king without a Queen

Its basically the same for both gender, A man is seen as irresponsible if he isnt married even in corporate world.

Many succesful men are told better go get married. Being married is tied to being responsible

Summary both gender are expected to be married by a certain age and not doing that draws ridicule from the society

Stillfire:


Let us not feign ignorance here for the love of God. The Nigerian society does not recognize this fallacy of interdependence you talk about. In fact when a woman is married she forfeits her independence to the dictates of her husband and this is NOT culturally, religiously required of the man to reciprocate his independence to the dictates of his wife.

Chivalry is NOT even an African construct. Where we come from women serve men. Men do not pick up our baggage, hold doors. That is an European construct. Chivalry was for gentlemen, and according to Fela the quintessential african, he is not a gentleman, he is an original african. Which bloody nigerian feminist is interested in chivalry that was never our culture?

My question is that do you believe that marriage is interdependence? I am a married woman and I am not independent neither is my husband. We have both forfeited our independence and we are happy to say so. We depend on each other for everything.

Are you married? Does your husband dictate to you? My husband does not and most marriages I know, they are people who are in love - like my luvly parents.

I am not sure Fela was the quintessential african and neither is he mine role model or my husband's role model. My husband does not smoke igbo or walk about in pants. We enjoyed Fela's beats but didnt take him more seriously than that. Alot of Nigerian women I know including myself love Chivalry. Now I am going personal.

Stillfire:


I will tell you why. Because we see men as culturally superior to women. Don't you think something is wrong with this attitude and if we should look at the reversal statement on that premise it translates that females are inferior to males. Damn!

Hmm
I don't see anything wrong with the attitude. Superiority & Inferiority are both subjective terms.
Feminists made the word frivolous and berating.

I respect what you stand for though.

cococandy:
I implore you to desist from quoting me.
Take whatever it is that bites you to the origin where it came from.
If you notice, I like to ignore you.

Accord me the same courtesy pls.
Thank you.

I am sorry if you found my post offensive.... I was just offering a simple solution to an issue you raised. No offense meant

I have not noticed you like to ignore me because I can't remember quoting you.

VictoriaBee:

Why not go to your own village and encourage women to be submissive instead of attacking innocent women here.

...no not submissive but doormats and slaves

VictoriaBee:

Why not go to your own village and encourage women to be submissive instead of attacking innocent women here.

Why are you making fun of cococandy?

NifemiOlu:
Hmm, cool points.
If a woman decides to stay single, who are those that will bash her more, men or women? A woman some days ago took her destiny into her hands by marrying Oshiomole, who were those thrashing her online?
My post is clear enough for those who read between the lines. The type of foreign feminism is not practicable in Nigeria as cultural orientation is more of the problem than men subduing women.
I'm an saying for feminism to thrive in Nigeria, there should be a massive cultural reorientation. That is more of a solution. After that, broad scale feminism would thrive. Or do lumbering men cut trees front the top?
#readingModeNext

See Nifemi, we acknowledge the fact that women are indeed enablers of most of the oppressive systems that assail womanhood.
However from my stay here on NL and social media, Nigerian MEN bash single women more! More men bashed Oshiomole, and ridiculed his wife for being a gold digger. The anger emanates from the fact that women like that would not date them.
Our attitudes towards femininity is what I am against. Our society places men on a pedestal and places womanhood as mere appendages to men. I have a problem with that. Feminism is cultural reorienting your mindset, hence your thread. It has made you ponder on these social injustices and attitudes we choose to define womanhood.

VictoriaBee:

Why are you obsessed with her?

Are you a lesbian?

Royalroy please warn this kid to watch her unflossed mouth here. Adults are having a discourse here not teenagers.

Flies swatted off.

Back to the topic.
The possible ways that feminism can be successful in Nigeria without giving way to radicalism.
1) stop demonizing the concept of a strong woman.

This happens two ways. Some ladies think being a strong woman is about being loud, 'toutish' and rude. Wrong. The concept of being a pillar by themselves is kind of alien.

Other people actually think it is bad for a lady to be seen as tough person.

I keep talking from experience. Where I come from, if you're perceived to have a strong personality as a lady, you're called 'acha nwanyi'. Literally doesn't translate to anything I can think of in the English language but it is a name nobody wants to be called. So there's this mind conditioning that makes ladies feel like they have to mask their strengths and be docile no matter what in order to be seen as ladylike. Even to their own detriment.
Funny enough this is not how it used to be. Strong women used to be objects of admiration. What happened?

I think a woman can still be ladylike without being weak. strong without being rude or nasty.

Now the bad thing about demonizing strength in a woman is that any lady who feels like she doesn't want to fit into the box designed for her may tend to go the extreme length prove that she's not an inferior human being. Which is where the excess begin to come in.

TooNoisy:


I am sorry if you found my post offensive.... I was just offering a simple solution to an issue you raised. No offense meant

I have not noticed you like to ignore me because I can't remember quoting you.

lmao


It is well. If you would kindly face the topic now.

VictoriaBee:

Why are you obsessed with her?

Are you a lesbian?

my dear, pls ignore

I don't think there's anything bad about our culture e.g men paying bride price.

From few I've learnt about Igbo culture, when a woman marry and bear only female children & her husband dies, if she is very old, she can marry her fellow woman.

But heck, she doesn't make it a big deal that she paid her bride price unlike SOME MEN.
I think male orientation has to be restructured.

FrancisTony:

I think male orientation has to be restructured.

By whom please? You?

cococandy:
lmao


It is well. If you would kindly face the topic now.

Show me where I ever quoted you.

You people just attack personalities when you do not have reasonable arguments.

TooNoisy:


By whom please? You?

It starts with you!

That's if truly you have a husband and male kids.

Ewuro4:

Hmm
I don't see anything wrong with the attitude. Superiority & Inferiority are both subjective terms.
Feminists made the word frivolous and berating.

I respect what you stand for though.

I respect your own stance too. I don't believe masculinity is superior to femininity. Neither is a husband superior to a wife. The dictionary clearly explains what those terms mean. When we allude to the superiority of men, we allude to our inferiority.
However at the moment, since we live in a patriarchal society, are we just going to keep quiet? Absolutely not. We can start from what structures are put in place to protect womanhood? And how are they enforced? I cannot leave it in the hands of a patriarchal system that would rather I kept quiet because their egos are getting crush.

TooNoisy:


Show me where I ever quoted you.

You people just attack personalities when you do not have reasonable arguments.

Ok you didn't quote me.
Can we move on?

VictoriaBee:

And pls, don't forget to check the frontpage of this thread to see how she and her uncouth friend "Toonoisy" attacked first.

my baby,I missed u

FrancisTony:


I think male orientation has to be restructured.

Let us start with your orientation. What kind of restructuring do you need? You are male I believe.

Unibenstudent:
my baby,I missed u

Your baby? u're very SILLY

VictoriaBee:
Your baby? u're very SILLY

who is silly ,Victoria?

raumdeuter:


I disagree, the below issues in bold are still prevalent in Nigeria

Child support, child marriage, domestic violence, child labour, female mutilation, girl child education are the major things I think African female should be fighting for not the who wash plates, who cook, and the self serving agenda

What women are fighting for is same rights & opportunities as men.

I believe Child support, child marriage, domestic violence, child labour, also involve male child. So I see no gender discrimination. But what I don't understand is female mutilation & girl child education. Anyone can be mutilated, be it male or female. As long as u are on dis earth. Why d emphasis on girl child?

As regards girl child education, based on what I know, no female child is denied admission into any school in dis country, simply because she is a girl child ( frm nursery to tertiary institution) or restrained frm studying any course, none dat I know of.

perhaps u can educate me on dis girl child education.

See thread

TooNoisy:


Let us start with your orientation. What kind of restructuring do you need? You are male I believe.

Women have to teach their male kids the value of marriage and whatever they deem fit to teach girls.

Sometimes, I get this from my mum, you are a man and you must marry a woman who will respect you but she fails to teach respect is reciprocal.
Not like my dad never reciprocated it, anyway.
I'm sure he was never taught, but he got it due to his cool-headedness.

TooNoisy:


Let us start with your orientation. What kind of restructuring do you need? You are male I believe.

...If you do not have any more contributions to make,kindly excuse yourself and stop trying desperately to derail this thread...abi dem send you?


.

Stillfire:


I respect your own stance too. I don't believe masculinity is superior to femininity. Neither is a husband superior to a wife. The dictionary clearly explains what those terms mean. When we allude to the superiority of men, we allude to our inferiority.
However at the moment, since we live in a patriarchal society, are we just going to keep quiet? Absolutely not. We can start from what structures are put in place to protect womanhood? And how are they enforced? I cannot leave it in the hands of a patriarchal system that would rather I kept quiet because their egos are getting crush.

I think for now, the basics have been established in NIGERIA. Now education is a right. only that parents in those heavily religious and cultural areas need more enlightenment. They need to know that their kids have a right to refuse being married off against their wishes and that the kids right is supposed to be honored regardless of what their religion says.

If we begin to teach our daughters to desire marriage for the right reasons (family and love) and not as social status thing. That would be a big step.


As for the others didn't GEJ just pass a bill into law which criminalizes violence against persons in the family setting and abdication of ones responsibilities to their kids.
So any woman who doesn't feel safe at home can legally separate from the husband and he could be penalized under the law.
Also no woman is supposed to use the excuse of staying for the kids to endure abuse. She should be able to support them partly and have the man bring his quota. Failure on his part to do so is now an offense and he can be prosecuted for it.

It's all relatively new. But with time, they should become common place.
I don't know if pay gap exists in the Nigerian civil service. So imma keep shut about that.

As for the rest, it's all societal perception. There's no law that states men are superior but the nuances are all there. It will only take time,the cultivation of self esteem and positive self redefinition amongst the ladies to stop buying into that idea. Then it will go away by itself.

Maybe in 300yrs who knows.