teeboo:
We discuss it quietly, hubby knws raising his voice will get me more angry,we made it an habit not to keep malice,each party admit wen wrong and apologise dats all. No third party,no neighbour to come settle fight.

Kudos....3rd Party would only take side, add pepper and salt and ultimately be glad that things get worst. Diplomacy, Openness, Patience and communication are the keys to lasting relationship.

timawoku:
I don't really know how we do it, sometimes we can go from 200MPH to 0, last time we were in a heated arguement, I called her 'egyptian coconut', we both looked at ourselves and busted into laughter. Another time, she was on my neck, things got heated up and she came up to me, I told her not to smack her lips again as it was turning me on, she smiled and I grabbed her, we were giggling and you know the rest...

Bottom line is, know how to end a conflict by understanding your partner, not hitting below the belt, respecting one another, as well as making loads of love, its one of the best marriage gifts!

I'm envious of your marriage.. Understanding is key here. More laughter and sweet lovemaking in your marriage.

kennyman2000:
This topic has made frontpage before and here's the post of a moniker and that post sticked to my brain since then and i dont think i can ever forget as i gave it to a friend and it worked for her..

Here's the moniker response..


Whenever hubby is yelling, saying, we've to do it this way, that way and she doesnt want it that way.. She'll allow him to yell, say all whatever he wants to say and not utter a word.

Later, when he's calm.. She'll now go and meet him, pray for him to pacify him and also for him to be focused on what she's come to discuss and then explain to him calmly on why they've to do it her own way.. Note: not that, she'll go and say, we've to do it this way.. What she does is to give him detailed reasons why her own way is the best, the advantages, disadvantages of her own method over him own.

As soon as she's done explaining to him.. She'll sharply reach for his di ck, bring it out and started handling and playing with it and the man will just start laughing and thats all..

Gave this tip to a female friend and she came back to give thanks..


Check my signature for ur customised wristbands.

ewwwwww

dont make me puke.....
so when its his turn to explain why things should go his way, he would equally bring out her breast and play with it?

Mekzmoney:
Would leave d house wen she's barking like a....

Return leta wen she's calm.... Take her in and apologize (even tho she's at fault).

Then on d process of apologizing, would hold and kiss her (while she strugle to push me away firmly)

Then would carry her to bed, move her skirt or gown up, move d pant by d side and giv her a hot sex.....

Sumtyms wud hold her 2hands on d wall wit 1hand, hold her one leg on ma arm as she's standing on d wall then wisper into her ears (I'm sorry lov) then screw her on d wall. Case closed....

As tym passes, she enjoyed it and I noticed dat she wud deliberately provoke me so dat we wud quarrel and I would appologize and giv her such a romantic sex...


It was fun though....


But she was my babe and nt my wife.

You did all this to your gf..... What if na your wife??

Nnemuka:

ewwwwww

dont make me puke.....
so when its his turn to explain why things should go his way, he would equally bring out her breast and play with it?

Thats the wife method.. Dont know of the husband method, but the husband must surely have his own method. What we're talking about here is how each spouse resolve their conflicts and i only have that of the female method which i shared.

lonelydora:


Don't mind my typo. It was caused by my auto correct. Thanks for the correction anywhere. Meanwhile you are pretty.

Aww thanks, my mirrors agree with you.

nice one.

timawoku:
I don't really know how we do it, sometimes we can go from 200MPH to 0, last time we were in a heated arguement, I called her 'egyptian coconut', we both looked at ourselves and busted into laughter. Another time, she was on my neck, things got heated up and she came up to me, I told her not to smack her lips again as it was turning me on, she smiled and I grabbed her, we were giggling and you know the rest...

Bottom line is, know how to end a conflict by understanding your partner, not hitting below the belt, respecting one another, as well as making loads of love, its one of the best marriage gifts!

kennyman2000:
This topic has made frontpage before and here's the post of a moniker and that post sticked to my brain since then and i dont think i can ever forget as i gave it to a friend and it worked for her..

Here's the moniker response..


Whenever hubby is yelling, saying, we've to do it this way, that way and she doesnt want it that way.. She'll allow him to yell, say all whatever he wants to say and not utter a word.

Later, when he's calm.. She'll now go and meet him, pray for him to pacify him and also for him to be focused on what she's come to discuss and then explain to him calmly on why they've to do it her own way.. Note: not that, she'll go and say, we've to do it this way.. What she does is to give him detailed reasons why her own way is the best, the advantages, disadvantages of her own method over him own.

As soon as she's done explaining to him.. She'll sharply reach for his di ck, bring it out and started handling and playing with it and the man will just start laughing and thats all..

Gave this tip to a female friend and she came back to give thanks..


Check my signature for ur customised wristbands.

privately in the bedroom! http://www.bummyla.com

we hav a silent rule that no mata how angry we ar,we dont raise our voice on each other n wen visitors come around,we act lik d sweet couple we r n entertain them.non of us feel to big to apologize to each oda,hs anger does nt stop him 4rm eating neither stop me 4rm askin him wat I shld cook 4 him.most times,after morning devotion we just forget we wer hvin issues.

I'm sure u inherited this method.

bolajioginni:
Omo na beating your spouse sure passs ooo......

You can never reason with women.

You either tell her she's right even if she isn't or get ready for a cold war.











Very affordable 3 bedroom, 2 bedroom and self-contain apartments in conducive environs in Warri is available for rent.

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Lateralmaths:
Hello Niaralanders.

How do you resolve conflicts/disagreements in your marriage?

Do you discuss it quietly or with raised voices?
Do you listen so as to know what to say or do you listen to understand him/her?
Do you involve third parties?
Can people look at your face and discern that there is an issue between man and wife?
Do you approach conflict resolutions from 'my' or 'our' perspective?
At what point do you pray about the issue?

Pls let's discuss. You never know how helpful your comment could be to someone.

Just discuss in an open, non judgemental way and be prepared to let common sense prevail. Usually, raised voices are distractions and puts both of you on defensive mode.

...and this last bit for guys, make sure the disagreement does not degenerate to malice, cold war, no speaking terms etc. because you are destined to lose this one. Its unfamiliar territory for you but its built into your spouse/partners DNA and you will most likely loose. Better you make your peace if you are wrong than be forced to eat the humble pie. Trust me!

oya all dose wey don get Spouse.. make una come yarn ewo lewo..

timilehing:
Some people don't just want to be happy in any relationship. No matter how hard you try to settle conflicts or minimize its occurrence, they won't yield. I do wonder if they're from Mars.

Talking from experience

How do you end up with such a spouse?

kennyman2000:
This topic has made frontpage before and here's the post of a moniker and that post sticked to my brain since then and i dont think i can ever forget as i gave it to a friend and it worked for her..

Here's the moniker response..


Whenever hubby is yelling, saying, we've to do it this way, that way and she doesnt want it that way.. She'll allow him to yell, say all whatever he wants to say and not utter a word.

Later, when he's calm.. She'll now go and meet him, pray for him to pacify him and also for him to be focused on what she's come to discuss and then explain to him calmly on why they've to do it her own way.. Note: not that, she'll go and say, we've to do it this way.. What she does is to give him detailed reasons why her own way is the best, the advantages, disadvantages of her own method over him own.

As soon as she's done explaining to him.. She'll sharply reach for his di ck, bring it out and started handling and playing with it and the man will just start laughing and thats all..

Gave this tip to a female friend and she came back to give thanks..


Check my signature for ur customised wristbands.

hmmm that's exploitation.

captainprogress:
some persons can be very unreasonable, just ensure u dont marry the wrong person. compatibility is a necessity...

spot on

MizMyColi:
You can state dearly and firmly how you feel or what you think without showing aggressiveness or defensiveness.

Have you noticed that you have this need to always be right?
You should have a rethink. It is a form of violence.

You need to watch out for any tendency to mindfully defend an entity or image with some voracious passion. If you take a step back and watch your mind in that particular state of unconsciousness, you will be able to dis-identify from such tendencies, as your consciousness of being from which love, joy, peace and everything good flows from takes over.

This is the end of all arguments and POWER GAMES, which are so corrosive to relationships.


Remember this always, Power over others is weakness disguised as strength. True power is within, and it is available to you now.‎ - Excrerpts from https://www.nairaland.com/2500091/power-now-eckhart-tolle-book

wow. everyone should learn this.

timawoku:
I don't really know how we do it, sometimes we can go from 200MPH to 0, last time we were in a heated arguement, I called her 'egyptian coconut', we both looked at ourselves and busted into laughter. Another time, she was on my neck, things got heated up and she came up to me, I told her not to smack her lips again as it was turning me on, she smiled and I grabbed her, we were giggling and you know the rest...

Bottom line is, know how to end a conflict by understanding your partner, not hitting below the belt, respecting one another, as well as making loads of love, its one of the best marriage gifts!

I love this.

Its obvious that without maturity to a reasonable extent, marriage wouldn't occur in the 1st place. As for US, our understanding of each other helps us go through issues without raising voices on each other.
I believe in Understanding and Trust and Patience. It works anyways.

Dacman:
With sex

Dangerous. Your method treats the symptoms and ignores the cause.

bolajioginni:
Omo na beating your spouse sure passs ooo......

I know say you dey joke if not I would have said you belong to the medieval ages.

Timoleon:
makeup sex

and what follows after that?

allanphash7:
After serious of arguement then bed things







Op u know now

Is that what resolves the conflict? Na wa o

madridguy:
I am sorry If I sound rude to interfere in your marital affair. Is your husband a Muslim or Mumeen ? Muslims are people who answered islamic names, claimed to be a muslim but never follow the instruction of Almighty Allah. While Mumeen are the one who follow the Almighty Allah with all their mind without compromising.
If your husband his a muslim then advice him to move closer to the hulla" I mean the muslim scholar " to enlighten him more. Saying such words to someone spouse is totally against the teaching of islam. My sister, here is a link to a post I created here on NL last year, please pass it to your husband and I hope he will find it useful. May God bless your home.

https://www.nairaland.com/1807790/being-romantic-sunnah

thanks bro, i feel relieve a bit for such comment coming from a muslim. I think i should just continue taking it easy although its sometimes frustrating, i believe he doesnt live the true muslim life and as you ask whether he is a muslim or mumeen i think it is MUSLIM tanx.

Chestar5:
Am not married but i know that the bible gives the best advice for christian couples in resolving issues....so whatever the bible says we will do ...millions have done so and succeeded am sure it will benefit all

Could you pls give us examples of biblical methods?

Reading thru all ur posts only confirms one fact, whats gud for a may not necessarily be gud for b, but what stands out is the fact that there's always a way out.

Thats why i'm not a believer in marriage counselling because we are all different and there is no one formula dat works for all.

Someone once told me dat God created quarrel for husband and wife. How true dat statement is. There will always be conflict in marriage, but every successfully resolved conflict will serve to make it better.

On third party involvement?? Hmm!!
Sometimes third party must be involved, but the key is limit it as much as possible. And in the instance when they come, for the sake of peace and tomorrow, watch what you say. Don't say what will ruin your spouse reputation. He/she may never forgive.

In all, marriage is a blessing. I believe that after salvation, the next best thing God gives is a good home. But truth is, it takes hard work...

lonelydora:
I allow her to fume and calm down, then give her some time and educate or enlighten her as a man. She happily accepts my opinions and apologies thereafter.


Just me and her. We talk it quietly. Why raise a voice on your spouse.?

Do you also acknowledge your wrongs and apologize when you are wrong?

evegran:



Well said.
Raised voices and apologies and then great sex. Damn! I LOVE my boyfriend

boyfriend and husband na two different levels o

Lateralmaths:
Do you also acknowledge your wrongs and apologize when you are wrong?

Yes oooooo. I love my beautiful wife so much, so i apologize when im wrong.

xeeco:
Basically, we practice open communication over every issue whether sweet or bitter, we don't keep malice, we have learnt to be humble to say sorry if one of us offends the other. We resolve all issues before the next day. Finally, Christ is the bedrock of our marriage, since we pray together in morning devotions and bedtime prayers in the night; We must resolve issues before we can pray.

Wow. My favourite so far. God bless ur home.

evegran:


Usually raised voices means a lot of things.
1, expressing your pain or anger.
2, demanding to be heard.
3, raising your voice and controlling your body from physical fights.
4, etc. Thats for me tho. Dunno about others

Would really love it if you could explain your points further. I believe many of us will learn from further explanation. Thanks