Shoro niyen! c'mmon girl come off it! If u are wife at home how will you feel when ur husband brings another woman home. I beg of u look for a single guy to marry. Stop being a gold digger. A word is enough for the wise.
Btw, the thunder wey go destroy any girl like wey come near my husband don dey do press up. .

Chosen1984:
Christians or Muslims doing it does not make it RIGHT! Read Matthew 19:4-9, Malachi2:16. Those who know dis truth are making restitution and leaving such marriages before the coming of JESUS. I hv seen quick a lot.

Hey, polygamy may be wrong in your religion but that doesn't mean it is wrong in my own religion, so we don't really have to go down this road because we speak from two different religious points of view.

It is acceptable for me but not for you and bye the way, I spoke based on my opinion.

Thanks.

humilitypays:
Let me believe she didn't know...but then, let me give ladies ready to listen and learn some brotherly advice:

if you meet a Nigerian guy who is 33 years and above, and financially buoyant with high-paying job or business, please have it in mind that the chances of him being married is 90% or more, and u know why?

In Nigeria, except a guy comes from a wealthy family and inherits wealth from his parents, there is no way a Nigerian guy could be rich and single at 33 and above!

Guys start becoming financially stable in Nigeria from the age of 30 and above....and before they get to the age of 35, they get into a committed relationship or most times marriage.

Though there are few exceptions, but not too rampant in Nigeria.

Due to our harsh economy and long educational/NYSC system, majority of Nigerian guys start becoming financially buoyant from 30yrs and above and by that time, they are either married or in a committed relationship to marry. Except for few guys who were fortunate to make money on time either via Yahoo Yahoo, drug business, sheddy business or ICT....and who may have been unfortunate with women....which is the only reason a Nigerian guy could be 33, rich and still single with no wife or fiancee.

Back to the topic, she said they met online....which usually starts from one of them sending the other a friend request, a private message or an instant chat message....whichever it is, she must have gone through his profile, checked his profile pictures and more to know his worth and outlook....of course that's what ladies do first before responding to a guy's chat, friend request or PM on any online platform....and reason most guys take time to edit their profile and upload the best of their photos to entice the ladies they will be reaching out to.

So, you can't tell me she fell in love with him because of any other thing aside an initial pictorial or profilic impression based on what the guy wrote about himself on the platform they met, so she fell for him for his wealthy outlook of course...she can't swear against this assumption.

Its high time ladies start being honest that what attract them most in a guy nowadays is his financial worth or financially outlook (from the way he dressed, the car he drives, the house he lives, where he works, etc)......just as men are blunt with what attracts them to a lady first- physical beauty!

Men are diggers of physical beauty and maybe good character whereas women are diggers of money and material things....its that simple, so why do ladies try to form innocence?

You make it sound like a bad thing, to get attracted to a presentable guy, how is it a lady's fault if her admirer/toaster is rich and she likes him? I don't understand the rationale behind this, I understand gold digging but it's not fair to say a lady likes a man that's rich simply because of his money.

HopeAtHand:



Theres something about Jehovahs Witnesses and brainwashing..im getting wary of them.

How that relates to this topic, i dunno, just that i didn't care to read this peice of shiit.

I support them if they actually brainwashed you from the Bible... The truth is hard to believe.
I'll advice you to be open minded when discussing with them, you'll be amazed

MrsChima:


Just because polygamy isn't a crime in Nigeria...does it make it right?

Excuse me ma, is polygamy a crime in Israel ?

MrsChima:


Just because polygamy isn't a crime in Nigeria...does it make it right?

MrsChima.... Polygamy is right in my own religion although it may be wrong in yours, am not a christian and I spoke basically from my own religioys point of view#

MrsChima:


Just because polygamy isn't a crime in Nigeria...does it make it right?

long time...Where have u been?

freecocoa:
You make it sound like a bad thing, to get attracted to a presentable guy, how is it a lady's fault if her admirer/toaster is rich and she likes him? I don't understand the rationale behind this, I understand gold digging but it's not fair to say a lady likes a man that's rich simply because of his money.

Hell NO! I never said its bad for a lady to be attracted to a guy because of his money? Sincerely, I love it...in fact, only a small boy will believe that a lady can be attracted to a guy that's broke.

I love it when ladies fall for a guy's financial status and outlook...it gives me joy to be honest, and I have no issues with it. My only prayer is that many guys should have money to attract more pretty ladies. Money is good....it makes the world go round, ladies should not be ashamed to confess they admire a guy with cash, by the way guys fall for physically pretty and endowed ladies, so? Thats my point.

VICTORIA91:
Dear NL,

I'm 25 years old, I met this guy online via chatting and before i knew, we met and we fell deeply in love.This guy is irresistible when we met and i never prayed for something more, because he was so caring, lovely and loving, not only that he is so tall and handsome as i have always prayed for. After a month we knew each other better and every minute i rang him up, he later told me and revealed to me everything about him, because he is not the flamboyant type of guy, i hardly notice that he is loaded.

At age 33 he has a lot of properties and work with a Ministry in Lagos, seconded employment with one int'l institution, he got me int'l passport and took me out of Nigeria shore for the first time in my life. I am from an average family and I'm not easily moved with material things, I'm a working class lady earning moderate salary and living well, i had a relationship before him but not a stable one.

He later revealed to me that he has something to tell me that might tear us apart, i made up my mind since it would not lead to my death, i bet i have reached my bus stop, because he is also in love with me. What a perfect match!. Until the day he bursted it out that he is married with kids and he was sweating and breathing so restlessly, waiting for me to breakup with him, i reassured him i will still love him at that, he explained he impregnated the girl and his family forced him to marry the girl...in short, three kids, two boys and a girl from the woman,(first boy and a twins).

I almost fainted, but pretended as if all is well, at least he still managed to tell me to let me decide to continue or not. We both continued and this month make our 6th month and he is already talking about our marriage, he tried divorcing the first wife, but get warned to let her be to make peace reign, i noticed he loves me so much and also loves his children too well too. He is traveling out soon to study for his PH.D. He wants me to get pregnant for him and do the needful with my family and declare his intentions of taking me as his second wife to his first wife and family...But at this stage i have doubting mind maybe i'm ready to go on or not..i don't feel like ruining the woman's home, and i don't feel like losing this my sweet love, he is not forcing me and he wants me to decide for myself....

Please help me dearies, abuse are allowed at least maybe it will straighten my brain..but i sincerely love him, he promised to settle me down in another state and assured me that all will be well.The issue is i'm so CONFUSED.

It does not always sweet continuesly like this babe, marriage no be beans. This is what I call seduction, the guy has practically seduced you. Guess what? He was also in love with the first wife before the girl opened her leg for him. Whoever, furnicate with a man or woman destroyet his body but whoever furnicates with a married man or woman, destroyet his or her own soul. Sugar dey sweet but it's not meant to be taken raw.

Let's clap for her, weldone clap go

If u no see urself for middle of hell fire make I know wetin cause am.

When a man wants to eat his cake and have it. That line "they forced him to marry her cuz she got pregnant" has already been overused. We girls gotta learn how to say NO sometimes. my 30kobo

you are a thief. go and work hard and build your own man

freecocoa:
You make it sound like a bad thing, to get attracted to a presentable guy, how is it a lady's fault if her admirer/toaster is rich and she likes him? I don't understand the rationale behind this, I understand gold digging but it's not fair to say a lady likes a man that's rich simply because of his money.

That is the only truth oh.

I know your type money money money money . you don't love him an inch, it is the money that is intoxicating you. you will reap whatever you sow be ready for wrath of God. It can never be well with you if you go ahead and marry him. leave somebody husband alone.

kingofpool:
Dnt mind that useless thing, see as she even open her odour manufacturing company(mouth) self the talk am.

buhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha my belle don xplode 4 laugh oooo

VICTORIA91:
Dear NL,

I'm 25 years old, I met this guy online via chatting and before i knew, we met and we fell deeply in love.This guy is irresistible when we met and i never prayed for something more, because he was so caring, lovely and loving, not only that he is so tall and handsome as i have always prayed for. After a month we knew each other better and every minute i rang him up, he later told me and revealed to me everything about him, because he is not the flamboyant type of guy, i hardly notice that he is loaded.

At age 33 he has a lot of properties and work with a Ministry in Lagos, seconded employment with one int'l institution, he got me int'l passport and took me out of Nigeria shore for the first time in my life. I am from an average family and I'm not easily moved with material things, I'm a working class lady earning moderate salary and living well, i had a relationship before him but not a stable one.

He later revealed to me that he has something to tell me that might tear us apart, i made up my mind since it would not lead to my death, i bet i have reached my bus stop, because he is also in love with me. What a perfect match!. Until the day he bursted it out that he is married with kids and he was sweating and breathing so restlessly, waiting for me to breakup with him, i reassured him i will still love him at that, he explained he impregnated the girl and his family forced him to marry the girl...in short, three kids, two boys and a girl from the woman,(first boy and a twins).

I almost fainted, but pretended as if all is well, at least he still managed to tell me to let me decide to continue or not. We both continued and this month make our 6th month and he is already talking about our marriage, he tried divorcing the first wife, but get warned to let her be to make peace reign, i noticed he loves me so much and also loves his children too well too. He is traveling out soon to study for his PH.D. He wants me to get pregnant for him and do the needful with my family and declare his intentions of taking me as his second wife to his first wife and family...But at this stage i have doubting mind maybe i'm ready to go on or not..i don't feel like ruining the woman's home, and i don't feel like losing this my sweet love, he is not forcing me and he wants me to decide for myself....

Please help me dearies, abuse are allowed at least maybe it will straighten my brain..but i sincerely love him, he promised to settle me down in another state and assured me that all will be well.The issue is i'm so CONFUSED.

You wouldn't love it if another woman does this to you. The fact is that you are torn in between your greed and morality.
Do what you think it's right cos I believe you do. On the other hand it's not a sin to be tempted. We all get tempted with the things we like. Better don't gey preg.

KiidaACE:
Seriously,,,as much as you repulse me right now,,i cant help but feel your pain.
GOSH i detest senseless girls,,buh i'm gonna spare you any harsh words and give you a good advice.
.
.
You'll be wicked to be the reason another woman's home is destroyed..i know you love the nigga,but according to your story,i think you love him more for his looks and money.
He isn't the only guy in the world you know.And what baba God would have expected from you would be to advice him against leaving his wife and break up with him..
Even the bible said the first wife of a man remains his only wife until death..
So even if you get married to him,im sorry to say that you will never be recognised by God as his wife.
I know its a hard decision but,
think of your future
think of the future of the mans kids.
Think of the future of the man's wife.
Say no to sidechicking.
And make the right decision.
#jah bless#

what more can I say? God bless u bro

and i laugh at what she just say .......

freecocoa:
You make it sound like a bad thing, to get attracted to a presentable guy, how is it a lady's fault if her admirer/toaster is rich and she likes him? I don't understand the rationale behind this, I understand gold digging but it's not fair to say a lady likes a man that's rich simply because of his money.

Naavah:
When a man wants to eat his cake and have it. That line "they forced him to marry her cuz she got pregnant" has already been overused. We girls gotta learn how to say NO sometimes. my 30kobo

not when money is involved...she will even be the one giving the ideas. A Lady said the man said he has divorced the wife...had two kids for him without any marriage and she was driven and d supposed divorced wife has the kids. The wife cldnt give births!

OP,

For the fact that this man is a liar. That he can hide the fact that he is married with 3 kids should make you run. That he deceived you and used deception till when he felt you had fallen in love enough. Some religions are not against polygamy, but he should have told you that straight up and let you make the decision if you want to continue. Also, the fact that this man cannot resolve the issues he has at home is cause for worry. Let's assume that his story is even true, will you want to be with a man that will insult the mother of his 3 kids. Will you want to be with a man that is unforgiving that after 3 kids he still cannot love. Please note that these kids were not conceived by artificial insemination. Will you be comfortable with a man that can impregnate and live with a woman he has no feelings for. If he can behave like this to the mother of his future, who are you? This guy wants to marry you but will rather impregnate you first, then introduce you to his family as wife. Did it occur to you that he required the same of his present wife? Is he not taking the cowards way out by not marrying you properly first? This shows that you coming into that family will not be an acceptable move. This whole thing has so many red flags. So stupid and senseless. I advice you though to milk him dry and dump him. Stop having sex with him but teach him a costly lesson for deceiving you.

It's left for u to decide. Will u like ur husband to go for second wife? If yes then go ahead

VICTORIA91:
Dear NL,

I'm 25 years old, I met this guy online via chatting and before i knew, we met and we fell deeply in love.This guy is irresistible when we met and i never prayed for something more, because he was so caring, lovely and loving, not only that he is so tall and handsome as i have always prayed for. After a month we knew each other better and every minute i rang him up, he later told me and revealed to me everything about him, because he is not the flamboyant type of guy, i hardly notice that he is loaded.

At age 33 he has a lot of properties and work with a Ministry in Lagos, seconded employment with one int'l institution, he got me int'l passport and took me out of Nigeria shore for the first time in my life. I am from an average family and I'm not easily moved with material things, I'm a working class lady earning moderate salary and living well, i had a relationship before him but not a stable one.

He later revealed to me that he has something to tell me that might tear us apart, i made up my mind since it would not lead to my death, i bet i have reached my bus stop, because he is also in love with me. What a perfect match!. Until the day he bursted it out that he is married with kids and he was sweating and breathing so restlessly, waiting for me to breakup with him, i reassured him i will still love him at that, he explained he impregnated the girl and his family forced him to marry the girl...in short, three kids, two boys and a girl from the woman,(first boy and a twins).

I almost fainted, but pretended as if all is well, at least he still managed to tell me to let me decide to continue or not. We both continued and this month make our 6th month and he is already talking about our marriage, he tried divorcing the first wife, but get warned to let her be to make peace reign, i noticed he loves me so much and also loves his children too well too. He is traveling out soon to study for his PH.D. He wants me to get pregnant for him and do the needful with my family and declare his intentions of taking me as his second wife to his first wife and family...But at this stage i have doubting mind maybe i'm ready to go on or not..i don't feel like ruining the woman's home, and i don't feel like losing this my sweet love, he is not forcing me and he wants me to decide for myself....

Please help me dearies, abuse are allowed at least maybe it will straighten my brain..but i sincerely love him, he promised to settle me down in another state and assured me that all will be well.The issue is i'm so CONFUSED.

reason y wife is scare? olosho.....married man n money driving our wife 2 b away....y r ladies like dis...by time dem don finish u...u b lookin 4 responsible man....u dont nid advice cos u no d truth..madam fuckeee

honeygirl17:
Do to others what you want them to do to you.

But u re not doing mii gud..

Shoro niyen! c'mmon girl come off it! If u are wife at home how will you feel when ur husband brings another woman home. I beg of u look for a single guy to marry. Stop being a gold digger. A word is enough for the wise.
Btw, the thunder wey go destroy any girl like wey come near my husband don dey do press up. .

Let me paint a picture of the future for you!

1: you will not listen to these advises, never. you are in love (lust), which is actually greed. you wouldn't want to loose out.

2: he was forced to marry the girl, by who? can't you see the same scenario is playing out with you? who forces a man to marry a woman? force, and she gave birth to the first child. force, and she game birth to the second. force and she gave birth to the third? force indeed.

3: you will get pregnant for him. you will discover that he has another woman that he is telling this story he told you.

4: then suddenly, the traditional rites will suddenly not be working out. you will become a single mother.

5: you will find out he loves his wife so much!

6: you will be heart broken and start visiting TB Joshua and other prayer houses.

8: your child will grow up with a father who is never around.

9 : the first wife will find out and make your life a living hell.

7: you will come to nairaland and become a pseudo feminist saying all men are wicked, then

8: kitikpa and amadioha will strike your coconut head and that food trap you call mouth!



pls go and write this down in diary and check it from time to time.
happy semi-married life.

If you believe the guy loves u. Do what u have to do. But don't get pregnant for him if he dosnt dissolve his marriage. Think about it

VICTORIA91:
Dear NL,

I'm 25 years old, I met this guy online via chatting and before i knew, we met and we fell deeply in love.This guy is irresistible when we met and i never prayed for something more, because he was so caring, lovely and loving, not only that he is so tall and handsome as i have always prayed for. After a month we knew each other better and every minute i rang him up, he later told me and revealed to me everything about him, because he is not the flamboyant type of guy, i hardly notice that he is loaded.

At age 33 he has a lot of properties and work with a Ministry in Lagos, seconded employment with one int'l institution, he got me int'l passport and took me out of Nigeria shore for the first time in my life. I am from an average family and I'm not easily moved with material things, I'm a working class lady earning moderate salary and living well, i had a relationship before him but not a stable one.

He later revealed to me that he has something to tell me that might tear us apart, i made up my mind since it would not lead to my death, i bet i have reached my bus stop, because he is also in love with me. What a perfect match!. Until the day he bursted it out that he is married with kids and he was sweating and breathing so restlessly, waiting for me to breakup with him, i reassured him i will still love him at that, he explained he impregnated the girl and his family forced him to marry the girl...in short, three kids, two boys and a girl from the woman,(first boy and a twins).

I almost fainted, but pretended as if all is well, at least he still managed to tell me to let me decide to continue or not. We both continued and this month make our 6th month and he is already talking about our marriage, he tried divorcing the first wife, but get warned to let her be to make peace reign, i noticed he loves me so much and also loves his children too well too. He is traveling out soon to study for his PH.D. He wants me to get pregnant for him and do the needful with my family and declare his intentions of taking me as his second wife to his first wife and family...But at this stage i have doubting mind maybe i'm ready to go on or not..i don't feel like ruining the woman's home, and i don't feel like losing this my sweet love, he is not forcing me and he wants me to decide for myself....

Please help me dearies, abuse are allowed at least maybe it will straighten my brain..but i sincerely love him, he promised to settle me down in another state and assured me that all will be well.The issue is i'm so CONFUSED.

Get pregnant and then he travels to MECCA for PhD.

You believed that. Haha..

Scam loading. Anyway sha...

ammyluv2002:
Pls unlove him ASAP

lol

jewelbaby55:
I tire o I tire o

Tire for wetin?

So4baba:

You ve nt seen anywhere in the bible where it is written because you dnt even have a bible talk less of reading it... Pls dnt use the Bible in supporting immorality..

sometiimes when i read comments like this i tend to wonder why youths of today can not make intellectual comments.

Just read your response again and see how it lacks substance.

Anyways im not here to promote polygamy neither am i interested in the act but im always pragmatic about my opinions which has nothing to do with my personal belief.

Now read this.


law on Polygamy

The Scriptures are clear that polygamy was,
and still is today, a valid form of marriage.
God nowhere condemns godly men for
having more than one wife. Abraham had a
wife, and then he married her maid (Genesis
16:2-4); Jacob married Leah and Rachel
(Gen.29:23-30; 31:17; 32:22) and then he
married Leah and Rachel's handmaids, Zilbah
and Bilhahand (Genesis 30:1-24; 37:2);

Judge Gideon had many wives and a concubine
(Judges 8:30-31); Elkanah married Hannah
and Peninnah (1 Sam.1:2); David married
Abigail and Ahinoam (1 Sam.25:42-43;
30:18), then later took more wives (2
Sam.5:13) at Jerusalem (1 Chron.14:3);

In 2 sam.12:7-8, God gave David these multiple
wives as a blessing, just as anointing him as
king over Israel, protecting him from Saul,
and giving him the house of Israel and Judah
were also blessings from Him;

King Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines (1 Kings 11:1-3); Ashur married Helah and Naarah (1 chron.4:5); Shaharaim married Hushim and Baara (1 Chron.8:; Abijah had 14 wives

(2 chron.13:21); Jehoiada the priest had 2
wives (2 Chron.24:3). Also, God never
condemned ungodly men for having more
than one wife either: Lamech (Gen.4:19),
Esau (Gen.36:2,6), King Rehoboam had 18
wives (2 Chron.11:21);

King Belshazzar had many wives (Dan.5:2-3). In addition, after war-time, many women would marry one man because of the shortage of
men available due to there being killed
(Isaiah 4:1).

We find our brother Paul referring to the
polygamy of Abraham without a hint that it
was sinful (Galatians 4:22).
When we study the Old Testament law
concerning polygamy, we find that when the
singular "wife" is used, those laws could
apply to monogamy or polygamy (Deut.
22:13, 22), and when the plural "wives" is
used, those laws only apply to polygamy.
(Deut. 21:15-17).

The Law stated that a man
could take another wife as long as he still
provided for his first wife (Exo.21:10). This is
what the apostle Paul calls "due
benevolence" (1 Cor.7:3).

The law protected the rights of the first born son concerning his inheritance in the case where the father
preferred another wife over his mother
(Deut. 21:15-17).

The law commanded that any man who had
sex with a virgin was to marry her (Deut.
22:28-29). There is nothing in this text that
supports the idea that only single men are to
marry in this instance. This law protected and
ensured the woman that her food, clothing,
and marital rights and duties would not be
diminished. This also protected the woman
from the reproach of not being able to find
another man to be her husband because she
was no longer a virgin and, furthermore the
reproach of possibly never being able to have
children. The man, single or married, needed
to be responsible for his fornication and the
woman needed to be protected.

The law commanded a man to marry the
widow of his deceased brother's wife if he
had no children with her (Deut. 25:5-10).
Again, there is nothing in this text that
supports that this law was limited to only
single brothers.

The law did have some restrictions on
polygamy, such as a man not marrying the
sister or mother of his wife (Lev. 18:17, Lev.
20:14). Another restriction admonished the
king against the acquisition of too many wives
(Deut. 17:17), and, in particular, foreign
wives, because they would tend to tempt him
towards their gods (1 Kings 11:1-.

Solomon sinned, not because of the fact that he had many wives, but because he married women from foreign countries, and he did not tear down their places of worshipping false gods
(Deuteronomy 7:3). It would also appear
that Solomon broke this law in that he
multiplied seven hundred wives and three
hundred concubines to himself (1 Kings
11:3). Solomon abused the right to take
more than one wife and no doubt had
difficulty in meeting the sexual needs of so
many women. David, on the other hand, did
not break this law, as was discussed earlier
(2 Samuel 12:7-.

please do ur research before coming online to make mockery of an intelligent comment

VICTORIA91:
Dear NL,

blah...blah...blah....

I almost fainted, but pretended as if all is well, at least he still managed to tell me to let me decide to continue or not. We both continued and this month make our 6th month and he is already talking about our marriage, he tried divorcing the first wife, but get warned to let her be to make peace reign, i noticed he loves me so much and also loves his children too well too. He is traveling out soon to study for his PH.D. He wants me to get pregnant for him and do the needful with my family and declare his intentions of taking me as his second wife to his first wife and family...But at this stage i have doubting mind maybe i'm ready to go on or not..i don't feel like ruining the woman's home, and i don't feel like losing this my sweet love, he is not forcing me and he wants me to decide for myself....

Please help me dearies, abuse are allowed at least maybe it will straighten my brain..but i sincerely love him, he promised to settle me down in another state and assured me that all will be well.The issue is i'm so CONFUSED.

Okay, l for swear for you if not that you said "abuse" are allowed!

But really, l applaud you for not being some ladies who would encourage him to divorce his wife for them (never mind that he married her accidentally and by force, from his parents... shyte happens).

Now, the matter is very simple for you:

1.) Leave the man, suffer the heart ache and "hope" you will me someone you love and who loves you like him. Its a gamble and that is what life is all about.


2.) Marry him and be his second wife. That is not a crime and there is no big deal in it, obviously he is loaded enough to take excellent care of both of you and your children.

Polygamy is not a crime otherwise, King David, Abraham, King Solomom and many more "men" who are God's friend, would have been sent to hell.
Dont let anyone befuddle you about that.... and it should not be a factor in your choice-making

Finally, what ever is your choice, know that "either choice" wont be "a bed of roses" (even if you marry another person sef)..... Marriage s all about sacrifices and committment to each other. Sometimes e go sweet, sometimes e go be like bitter leaf sweet pass am!


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