This piece should interest you coming from a man


Some times, being a woman in Nigeria is quite a
task. You are subjected to absurd societal
norms, by men…. and other women. Many times,
men, even those that ‘love and care about’ their
women can’t see these absurdities as what they
are. Onuora Ikechukwu Onianwa see these
absurdities, and he has written a Facebook note
about them. His note his getting plenty likes
from women, and some men.

Onuora Ikechukwu Onianwa’s note :

I want to make a general, sweeping statement. I
know it will sound unfair and rude, and I’m sorry.
I truly mean no insult. It is just me expressing
my view on a long list of issues.

So, here we go…

Sometimes I am grateful to God I am not a
woman...

* I can’t have an education or it will make me lord
it over my man, and tempt me to be the head of
the home.

* I can’t have a job because I will become proud
and un-submissive.

* I can’t have a job that pays more than my
husband’s because it is an insult to his manhood
and he will be emasculated. One day I will even
use it to rubbish him outside.

* I can’t be single at 25, and unmarried at 30, or
without a single child at 35. It means I am
cursed, have a spirit husband or have a bad
character and no man wants to be with me.

* Any achievement of mine is a waste and useless
if I have no boyfriend or husband, and it will only
make me more arrogant and unattractive to
men.

* Heaven forbid I own a car or a house for the
same aforementioned reasons. The only place I
can live till I marry, is my parent’s home.

* Only loose women stay in hotels. If my job
requires I travel, I must stay with older people,
friends or an elderly couple who can talk to me
about this my job that won’t allow me settle in
one place and marry.

* Expensive things are not allowed. I can’t marry
quick with them.

* I can’t speak about anything under the sun
without a ring on my finger and babies who have
suckled my breasts.

* If my boyfriend/husband cheats on me, I must
endure it and manage. All men are the same.
There are no good ones around any more.

* Whatever my husband says (even common
pangolo boyfriend that doesn’t know his left
from right) I must agree. The moment we got
together, I lost my sense of reasoning and
purpose in life. his word, even if foolish, is law
and I must die to please him and obey.

* How dare I expect my husband to hire a maid or
ask anyone asides me to clean? What did he
marry me for?

* My husband, cook and clean? Am I mad? Is that
not witchcraft?

* Why should he take care of the kids while I
sleep, travel or go out? Is he my mate or my
servant? Am I a fool?

* Oh, so I don’t know I must cook fresh soup
everyday? I must be an idiot.

* So, I don’t know I must wear make-up , heels
and sexy dresses or be naked all day? Do I want
him to go out and cheat?

* The home falls apart because I’m a useless and
stupid woman.

* The marriage ends because I am a useless and
stupid woman.

* My husband cheats on me and beats me
because I am a useless and stupid woman.

* The children grow up horrible because I am a
useless and stupid woman.

* I am a useless and stupid woman…because I am
a useless and stupid woman.


Its bad enough men think this way. To see
women do it too, and fight men like me who
have been carrying women’s rights on our head
like we are the next Malcolm X, Luther or
Madiba, is shocking and sad. Maybe one day
things will get better.
I pray it does, because anyone who says the
aforementioned trash to my baby girl(s) will hear
from me, and they won’t forget me in a hurry.
Sometimes I am grateful to God I am not a
woman. I might have killed someone by now…


PS : Coming from a man, this shocked me walahi

lalasticlala, ishilove.....Please let's hear what the general public thinks.

Of course, Its hard being a woman in Nigeria. Heck its hard being a female on nairaland.

But we dare not complain.

Shout out the progressive men in Nigeria who treat women with respect!

.

Fp material.. lmao

Like damn.....The post took my mind back to 2013 when I had the opportunity and cash to buy a car (was working and earning something reasonable)....If you hear and see the way my mum kicked against it vehemently as though I was planning on buying poison ehennnn.

Na so oh...we don suffer, but God pass dem sha

tyconcepts:
Like damn.....The post took my mind back to 2013 when I had the opportunity and cash to buy a car (was working and earning something reasonable)....If you hear and see the way my mum kicked against it vehemently as though I was planning on buying poison ehennnn.

You can imagine. Hope you got that car?

I think men like women to be dependent on them but yet somehow complain about dependency at the same time.

Indeed it's hard.

This proves Most Nigerian women are weak and ballless, always playing the victim card


Just imagine, you have your own money to buy whatever you want to

Just imagine this nonsense "* Heaven forbid I own a car or a house for the
same aforementioned reasons. The only place I
can live till I marry, is my parent’s home.".......this proves my point,instead of getting what they want,they are here zombieing to the society

raayah:


You can imagine. Hope you got that car?

I think men like women to be dependent on them but yet somehow complain about dependency at the same time.

My dear I didn't buy it....No one is allowed to have HBP on my account and momsi rather borrow me hers

They complain money makes women proud yet complain when a woman is dependent on them.

#Stuck between the devil and the deep blue sea noni

lilmax:
This proves Most Nigerian women are weak and ballless, always playing the victim card

My dear....The post tells more about the Nigerian man's reasoning not a victim's plea as you think...Guess u are shocked it came from one of your specie who dare to be realistic.

#Re-read.

Kachisbarbie:
It isn't easy at all

Nail on the head.

The "single & frustrated" is so on point....I was guilt of that with my one-time boss....((((Covers face in shame))))

tyconcepts:


My dear I didn't buy it....No one is allowed to have HBP on my account and momsi rather borrow me hers

They complain money makes women proud yet complain when a woman is dependent on them.

#Stuck between the devil and the deep blue sea noni

Yes money makes many women proud.Can a woman have money,be independent and yet humble?

thorpido:
Yes money makes many women proud.Can a woman have money,be independent and yet humble?

Exactly what do men want??

I can agree with your point to an extent but generalizing it is outrightly crazy and mind you "money + pride" cuts across both gender not just women.

tyconcepts:


My dear....The post tells more about the Nigerian man's reasoning not a victim's plea as you think...Guess u are shocked it came from one of your specie who dare to be realistic.

#Re-read.

I'm not shocked, this has been going on and on since the beginning of time..... Its left for you guys to do what you want and not saying being a nigerian woman is hard

tyconcepts:


Exactly what do men want??

I can agree with your point to an extent but generalizing it is outrightly crazy and mind you "money + pride" cuts across both gender not just women.

I said many women so it wasn't generalizing.Of course pride cuts across both sexes so it's not just about women but we're talking about women here.

A matured man is not intimidated by an independent woman and a matured, independent woman knows she is not in competition with the man and does not flaunt it.

thorpido:
Yes money makes many women proud.Can a woman have money,be independent and yet humble?

you're right bro

It used to be prevalent in the olden days, things are a lot better now...

There are really good men out there now, I can testify. ..

lilmax:
This proves Most Nigerian women are weak and ballless, always playing the victim card


Just imagine, you have your own money to buy whatever you want to

Just imagine this nonsense "* Heaven forbid I own a car or a house for the
same aforementioned reasons. The only place I
can live till I marry, is my parent’s home.".......this proves my point,instead of getting what they want,they are here zombieing to the society

Sorry sir, you have made no point!

tyconcepts:


Exactly what do men want??
.

Men want respect and the feeling that yeah, they're in charge! Which to me is totally ok, as they're supposed to be the head of the home(more like a team leader)...

What I don't support is rubbing your headship on your wife who you're supposed to be working together with!

tyconcepts:
Like damn.....The post took my mind back to 2013 when I had the opportunity and cash to buy a car (was working and earning something reasonable)....If you hear and see the way my mum kicked against it vehemently as though I was planning on buying poison ehennnn.

Did you go ahead to buy it?

Stillfire:

Did you go ahead to buy it?

Nah...Momsi rather I borrow hers than own mine for the 6th started reasons.

Try being a woman in Saudi Arabia

PresVA:
Sorry sir, you have made no point!

ask if you don't understand

lilmax:
This proves Most Nigerian women are weak and ballless, always playing the victim card


Just imagine, you have your own money to buy whatever you want to

Just imagine this nonsense "* Heaven forbid I own a car or a house for the
same aforementioned reasons. The only place I
can live till I marry, is my parent’s home.".......this proves my point,instead of getting what they want,they are here zombieing to the society

Women are socialized to be modest and then add the African idea of 'respect to elders', you have a generation of weaklings. It has to take an understanding of self, a personal self-reflection to go against societal norms. Most will never reach that point.

This article should have had the heading; "being a LOCAL nigerian woman is hard! Most of the women "I" know don't subscribe to this b.s!

tyconcepts:


Nah...Momsi rather I borrow hers than own mine for the 6th started reasons.

I always reiterate that Nigerian parents would baby you till they die. This 'protection' worsens as a female child. You will need to teach them one or two or many lessons before they get the memo that you are an adult. I actually agree to the ballessness a poster ascribed to. How do you address these issues when they come up? Do you just give up or put your foot down? Most of these things would be dealt with if Nigerian females begin to be assertive in their life decisions. But be prepared for the consequences and take full responsibility for your actions.

funlord:


This article should have had the heading; "being a LOCAL nigerian woman is hard! Most of the women "I" know don't subscribe to this b.s!

Lmao, local. Welcome to Nairaland. You will realize you've been living in a parallel universe all your life and majority of Nigerians are indeed LOCAL.

https://www.nairaland.com/1406504/it-proper-single-lady-live

https://www.nairaland.com/2144641/should-unmarried-working-class-lady

https://www.nairaland.com/1906833/which-better-single-lady-getting

https://www.nairaland.com/2652299/ladies-owning-car-scare-away

not applicable to me.
Made my own rules, lived by it and still living by it.
Lodged in different 5stars hotels across the country and obodo oyigbo. All alone and sometimes with bobos
did my own share of clubbing and going to church the next day

if i die today, no shaking. I did well.

Coming back next world, i come back as me.
Full option.

make una dey dia dey grind teeth.
This one world that has been existing for billion of yrs, you end up in this generation. You dey here dey grind teeth dey shout society.
The hell fire and heaven is in this world

make your choice and live by it.

Chillisauce:
not applicable to me.
Made my own rules, lived by it and still living by it.
Lodged in different 5stars hotels across the country and obodo oyigbo. All alone and sometimes with bobos
did my own share of clubbing and going to church the next day

if i die today, no shaking. I did well.

Coming back next world, i come back as me.
Full option.

make una dey dia dey grind teeth.
This one world that has been existing for billion of yrs, you end up in this generation. You dey here dey grind teeth dey shout society.
The hell fire and heaven is in this world

make your choice and live by it.

Lol, as of the 1900s Igbo women were demanding that the British promote and give them positions as they did the men. In 2015 Nigerian women cannot fight for their rights and be assertive in their life choices. I'm sure our foremothers would be turning in their graves.