I have four siblings who are in the high institution and am working and schooling at the same time. My elder sister who graduated from A.b.u Zaria as a pharmacist is doing very well. She is still single and claims to be a devoted Christian but fill less concern about anything that has to do with our mum . My dad is late and we are not finding things easy. The last time i checked my mum she was looking very sick and worried. The little money am making is not enough to carta for the whole family. My school and work are shaking me seriously.

To cut the story short, we have talked to some people to talk to her, both elders and other reliable family members. I don't know how to cope with the situation.

She is in another state. I don't know if she is just waiting for my mum to die so she will come and spend the money on her burial to impress crowd or she is saving the money for another man when she is married

My mum is dieing silently. Please make this front page i need advice cause i don't want to lose her now.

End time daughter! She must be a member of one of those prayer houses where parents are labeled witches and wizards,who shouldn't be assisted in old age. Lol. On a serious note, all that is required here is dialogue with the lady. Instead of sending others to talk to her,have your mum talk to her personally. Have your other siblings talk to her. Talk to her too.

Quit expecting her to sort u guyz nd u will experience open doors but once u keep hoping she will change nd start supporting the family you will be limited by ur thought..

Ask yourself this, if ur wealthy sister is not in the picture won't the family survive.

I know of a family their sister is a bank manager in USA, since the day she left nigeria till date she has not visited to say hi to the aged parents, she does not call, talkless send a torn wrapper to the mum..

This is what Jesus saw on the crox nd shouted it's is finished (Uwa Embigo)

etankoko:
I have four siblings who are in the high institution and am working and schooling @ the same time.my elder sister who graduated from A.b.u Zaria as a pharmacist is doing very well. she is still single and claim to be a devoted Christian but fill less concern about anything that has to do with our mum .my dad is late and we are not finding things easy .The last time i check my mum she was looking very sick and worried. The little money am making is not enough to carta for the whole family .my school and work is shaking me seriously. To cut the story short we have talk to sum people to talk to her ,both elders and other reliable family members .i don't know how to coup with the situation. she is in another state. i don't know if she is just waiting for my mum to die so she will come and spend the money on her burial to impress crowd or she is saving the money for another man when she is married .my mum is dieing silently. please make this front page i need advice cause i don't want to loose her now.

Have you spoken to her about your mums condition?

Pray that God touches her heart to help take care of the family. There is nothing that prayers cannot do.

End time sister

OP I'm not sure I understand. How is her success a curse?

Because she's a member of the family is not an indication that the family would benefit from her success... Just pray for help from above. It may be a total stranger that would help...

@yinkus4u2c imagine what you are saying. Her own mother! God is watching

Something is eating her deeply, may be something that happened to her, a bad memory or experience. Except she makes it known to everybody, she won't change.

She may be harboring a grudge. Why are you trying to paint her black, how are you even sure she is as rich as you assume? We ladies usually help our parents, this is why I feel there is another side to your story.

You yourself should be telling her the situation at home. Be reminding her that you people need her help at home.

Unfortunate country, the country became destroyed.

I thought women take care of their aged parents than men. What in the world is she using all her wealth for, a pharmacist for that matter, no matter how little always drop something for your parents and if you cannot pay them a visit,s say hello to them on phone. Op never mind, I hope she doesn't reap what she has sown,because whatever she is doing,her kids will repay her in her own coin in the future.

For you guys to send some elders or others to talk to her shows that something is missing. there was a communication gap somewhere,

what seems to be the problem? But seriously your mum should be the one to say something to her.
She can always give her a call or better still SMS will do the magic. with a statement like " Since you left me to suffer, no calls or nothing, If I die, I would not want to see you there....." trust me that will send her racing where ever she was.

Since you said she was a "good Christian" who knows what they must have prophesied to her that your mum did. maybe they must have said she was the one eating her hair, that was why it wasn't growing long or her finger nails was getting shorter because your mum was bitting it in her dreams.....

my young friend please forget about your sister cos she must be running mugu right now for a pastor somewhere. pastors main source of income nowadays is to make sure they see visions ONLY for successful members and the theme is mostly about how their family members want to kill them blah blah blah. most mothers are made witches by these prophecies and due to the poor educational system where graduates come out of university believing in Voodoo and superstitions your sister most likely by now should be scared of the rest of you as you must be destiny killers.
just like someone advised you earlier, waiting on her weakens even your spirit which makes you fight less than you should for yourself and your mother. forget about her, kneel down and fast and pray until you are confident your prayers have been heard. then go out and look for what to do to add to your income and you will not be disappointed. I have never seen anyone that fend for his mother fail in life, God is with you and you will see.

Fortissimo:
OP I'm not sure I understand. How is her success a curse?

with that ancestral edi attitude from the poster, I'm sure the sister will not be successful for long.

There is no family support and she is probably aware of this hence her keeping to herself.

The op sounds like she (op) is probably linked to some idol which monitors who is doing well in the family.

You are so right. And it is so unfortunate his/her thought process. They don't even care to know how she is doing, if she is paying back debts, or something. They have calculated she is a pharmacist and as such, she is automatically rich. When is this entitlement going to end?
Suze Orman once said it is what is making many people poorer than they should be. It is very common among black/African too.
The days of carrying family financial burden on oneself is gone. Wake up and work your way up with no expectation from anyone. Talk to her yourself, tell her what you have been doing and what is going on back home.
You OP should consider helping your mom more because you never know what your sister is really going through wherever she is.

tpiadotcom:

with that ancestral edi attitude from the poster, I'm sure the sister will not be successful for long.
There is no family support and she is probably aware of this hence her keeping to herself.
The op sounds like she (op) is probably linked to some idol which monitors who is doing well in the family.

not even the financial aspect alone but the kind of spirit that would come up with the thread title.

Are you trying to blackmail us to see your sister as a demon? anyway I've not heard your sisters side of the story....who knows, you guys must have beign rude to her in the past with you mum taking your side especially on her so called "Singleness". Maybe she is hurting on the inside, I can't believe someone can be so cold to everyone including his/her mother.

armyofone:
You are so right. And it is so unfortunate his/her thought process. They don't even care to know how she is doing, if she is paying back debts, or something. They have calculated she is a pharmacist and as such, she is automatically rich. When is this entitlement going to end?
Suze Orman once said it is what is making many people poorer than they should be. It is very common among black/African too.
The days of carrying family financial burden on
oneself is gone. Wake up and work your way up with no expectation from anyone. Talk to her yourself, tell her what you have been doing and what is going on back home.
You OP should consider helping your mom more because you never know what your sister is really going through wherever she is.

You are very right my dear, people tend to conclude about your financial capability not really knowing if you are even eating where you are based, that's Nigeria for you.
But the sister should at least be checking on their mum if something is not really wrong somewhere.

in some families, success= curse and that is probably why the successful sister is staying away.


for all one knows, she might not even be as well off as her foes are imagining.

op if you are referring to the recent election then plz move your thread to politics and adjust your opening post accordingly.

tpiadotcom:
in some families, success= curse and that is probably why the successful sister is staying away.

for all one knows, she might not even be as well off as her foes are imagining.

My thots exactly. Just because she is a pharmacist does not mean she is now "Dangote".

OP, pls call your sister and speak with her yourself. And don't carry this attitude in your discussion. You never know what she might also be passing through.

Kimoni:


My thots exactly. Just because she is a pharmacist does not mean she is now "Dangote".

OP, pls call your sister and speak with her yourself. And don't carry this attitude in your discussion. You never know what she might also be passing through.

My thoughts exactly.

No point of this thread If you have not spoken to her. Like you said who knows what she is going through where she is too.

etankoko:
I have four siblings who are in the high institution and am working and schooling @ the same time.my elder sister who graduated from A.b.u Zaria as a pharmacist is doing very well. she is still single and claim to be a devoted Christian but fill less concern about anything that has to do with our mum .my dad is late and we are not finding things easy .The last time i check my mum she was looking very sick and worried. The little money am making is not enough to carta for the whole family .my school and work is shaking me seriously. To cut the story short we have talk to sum people to talk to her ,both elders and other reliable family members .i don't know how to coup with the situation. she is in another state. i don't know if she is just waiting for my mum to die so she will come and spend the money on her burial to impress crowd or she is saving the money for another man when she is married .my mum is dieing silently. please make this front page i need advice cause i don't want to loose her now.

TAKE it EASY .

Things are difficult now.
MOST Families are not spared.
That's why most Guys defect from liabilities.
The HARDSHIP is now becoming, unbecoming.

By the way, re-write that your sentence.
It may haunt your Family in near future.
She's not a curse and don't be a plague to her.

Call/Visit your sister and know her situation.
U may be surprised as to what you may get.
PRAY always.

OP, lower your expectations, your sister might not be as buoyant as you imagine.

Be as it may, call and talk to her about your situation at home and whatever she gives you guys, don't forget to appreciate no matter how big or small.

Country hard for everyone, Pele. May God in his infinite mercies provide for you and your family.

Jackeeh:
End time daughter! She must be a member of one of those prayer houses where parents are labeled witches and wizards,who shouldn't be assisted in old age. Lol. On a serious note, all that is required here is dialogue with the lady. Instead of sending others to talk to her,have your mum talk to her personally. Have your other siblings talk to her. Talk to her too.

My thought too.

Talk to her about it in a calm manner, without being confrontational

Some people here don't just understand African settings. they equate every thing with American ways of life. some are even given Suzie orman show example on how she will be poor bla bla bla.

The Girl in question was trained by somebody in the family, she was invested upon so that when the people that invested on her became tired, she inturn will help out that is African settings.....


When it comes to abroad, They all got student loans and grant that will see them through University and when they graduate, and start working, they will pay all that. so they will never depend on their parent for anything, That is why they don't give money to their parent or any thing. and their parent on the other hand were saving a pension fund that will see them through retirement. because their kids will not look after them, they are going to a nursing homes or retirement village with the money they saved.

So that girl did not train herself neither did she applied for a student loan grant. because I am sure such thing was not in Nigeria. so the money the parent should have saved for retirement was used on her which was investment.

So now that she is working and the mother was not, she should help.....
People should not come in here and start forming oyibo and start supporting the girl's action because it was wrong.

After all if you get a student grant you will have to pay when you are working, no matter what you are passing through financially, the people that facilitated those loan and grant will not listen to you till you start paying by instalment.

Your sister is spending her money on two people:
1. Her Pastor
2. Her boyfriend