Demainman1:


And what makes you think that I am not old enough to be your father?

See, in Nigeria where there are no social security, people have kids with the hope that some of them will succeed so as to help out. Nothing wrong with dat at all. Look around you, you will see a lot of people from very poor families doing very well today and looking after their parents.

I cannot abandon my parents no matter what. Thank you.

raayah:


DO you read all the post on nairaland of people begging for admission fees to enter university?
Do you see the thousands of youths out hawking and begging in the hot sun. All because their parents cannot care for them.
You guys like to act as if you don't know how this country is.
Was it not yesterday that a young man posted that his father flogged him naked all his life and rubbed pepper on his wounds?
Where in OP post was it mentioned that their family supported her?
For all we know, they might have sent her off as house-girl somewhere.

For a child to forget her sick mother, something terrible must have happened to her.
Until I hear two sides of the story, before i condemn the woman.

etankoko:
I have four siblings who are in the high institution and am working and schooling at the same time. My elder sister who graduated from A.b.u Zaria as a pharmacist is doing very well. She is still single and claims to be a devoted Christian but fill less concern about anything that has to do with our mum . My dad is late and we are not finding things easy. The last time i checked my mum she was looking very sick and worried. The little money am making is not enough to carta for the whole family. My school and work are shaking me seriously.

To cut the story short, we have talked to some people to talk to her, both elders and other reliable family members. I don't know how to cope with the situation.

She is in another state. I don't know if she is just waiting for my mum to die so she will come and spend the money on her burial to impress crowd or she is saving the money for another man when she is married

My mum is dieing silently. Please make this front page i need advice cause i don't want to lose her now.

menix:
Quit expecting her to sort u guyz nd u will experience open doors but once u keep hoping she will change nd start supporting the family you will be limited by ur thought..

Ask yourself this, if ur wealthy sister is not in the picture won't the family survive.

I know of a family their sister is a bank manager in USA, since the day she left nigeria till date she has not visited to say hi to the aged parents, she does not call, talkless send a torn wrapper to the mum..

This is what Jesus saw on the crox nd shouted it's is finished (Uwa Embigo)

Brugge:



Brother have you considered that parents should know that there is no welfare package for them in the future and start saving/preparing for the raining day. I am sure when you talk about welfare you are referring to that available to the elderly in the west but it may surprise you to know that despite the availability of the welfare that most white people still save towards their old age.

What if something happens and the children you are hoping on couldn't even bail themselves out financially? What if they make bad choices that affect how they treat their parents in the future? Wouldn't it be nice if such parents had saved against the future and have something to fall back on? If in the long run things work out great and the kids are their for them financially at least the parents will have something to leave for their grand kids.

It is time we Africans start going away from aged-cultural way of thinking, thinking that time and time had failed us and had served us no good purpose.

gbadexy:
This thread is an eye opener. The comments by females here is particularly insightful.
May God give us kind and thoughtful children.

ADAMUdaCOWBOY:

I don't believe you live in this country or maybe if you do you live in some posh part of Nigeria completely disconnected from the harsh realities faced by the poor Nigerian. did it cross your mind that some parents could not save because they struggle to feed and send their children to school? While we are typing on nairaland, some families will go to bed without food, is it such parents that expect will save for the rainy day? The truth is that for some people, every day is a rainy day. Some parents could not even wear good clothes because they want their children to have a bright future, now how can these children grow up and claim the parents did not plan? Haba!

Richy4:
Some people here don't just understand African settings. they equate every thing with American ways of life. some are even given Suzie orman show example on how she will be poor bla bla bla.

The Girl in question was trained by somebody in the family, she was invested upon so that when the people that invested on her became tired, she inturn will help out that is African settings.....


When it comes to abroad, They all got student loans and grant that will see them through University and when they graduate, and start working, they will pay all that. so they will never depend on their parent for anything, That is why they don't give money to their parent or any thing. and their parent on the other hand were saving a pension fund that will see them through retirement. because their kids will not look after them, they are going to a nursing homes or retirement village with the money they saved.

So that girl did not train herself neither did she applied for a student loan grant. because I am sure such thing was not in Nigeria. so the money the parent should have saved for retirement was used on her which was investment.

So now that she is working and the mother was not, she should help.....
People should not come in here and start forming oyibo and start supporting the girl's action because it was wrong.

After all if you get a student grant you will have to pay when you are working, no matter what you are passing through financially, the people that facilitated those loan and grant will not listen to you till you start paying by instalment.

BoboYekini:
Trust women to always justify their wickedness. The poster clearly stated that the sister in question is doing well. What gives you all the idea that she isn't Dangote and so she should keep it all, however little/big to herself?
FYI, this is Africa, where we are our brothers' keepers. Where we all eat from the same single bowl of food. Where we don't leave our mothers to starve out of some misguided avant-garde notion of 'everybody work their way up'.
All these very wicked women everywhere.
.

Ezechinwa:


There are lots of intelligent people on NL.. After reading your post, I think you top the chart!!!! If I could click the love button I wouldn't hesitate!!!

yinkus4u2c:
Because she's a member of the family is not an indication that the family would benefit from her success... Just pray for help from above. It may be a total stranger that would help...

Ginaz:
Something is eating her deeply, may be something that happened to her, a bad memory or experience. Except she makes it known to everybody, she won't change.

yinkus4u2c:
Because she's a member of the family is not an indication that the family would benefit from her success... Just pray for help from above. It may be a total stranger that would help...

pinkyruledworld:

I sincerely agree with u on dat path, but i bliv dats not d case of d op, even if dat was d case, is it right to neglect ones MOTHER during hard times? bro u dont pay evil with evil. ur mum is a witch but shes still ur mum Jah bless

armyofone:
You are so right. And it is so unfortunate his/her thought process. They don't even care to know how she is doing, if she is paying back debts, or something. They have calculated she is a pharmacist and as such, she is automatically rich. When is this entitlement going to end?
Suze Orman once said it is what is making many people poorer than they should be. It is very common among black/African too.
The days of carrying family financial burden on oneself is gone. Wake up and work your way up with no expectation from anyone. Talk to her yourself, tell her what you have been doing and what is going on back home.
You OP should consider helping your mom more because you never know what your sister is really going through wherever she is.

etankoko:
I have four siblings who are in the high institution and am working and schooling at the same time. My elder sister who graduated from A.b.u Zaria as a pharmacist is doing very well. She is still single and claims to be a devoted Christian but fill less concern about anything that has to do with our mum . My dad is late and we are not finding things easy. The last time i checked my mum she was looking very sick and worried. The little money am making is not enough to carta for the whole family. My school and work are shaking me seriously.

To cut the story short, we have talked to some people to talk to her, both elders and other reliable family members. I don't know how to cope with the situation.

She is in another state. I don't know if she is just waiting for my mum to die so she will come and spend the money on her burial to impress crowd or she is saving the money for another man when she is married

My mum is dieing silently. Please make this front page i need advice cause i don't want to lose her now.

damiso:



My thoughts exactly.

No point of this thread If you have not spoken to her. Like you said who knows what she is going through where she is too.

Brugge:


Funny enough we are saying same thing the only problem is you can't stand me calling out our parents for their error in judgement.

Brother, I can't tell you my story on NL but truth be told most of our parents brought it upon themselves and it pains me to watch young people make same mistake. I know a family of nine children, their mom is a petty trader and their dad does whatever jobs he can find. Their household income is not up to 40k a month I know that for sure and they all live in two rooms. How in God's name do you explain that? How in God's name do the parents think they are going to raise the kids or even provide a decent childhood or a better education for the children?

Can you please explain to me how an okada rider whose combine family income in a month is not more than 30 thousands naira intend to give a family of 5 children a good life without putting them through difficulties? Can you explain to me what is wrong,if the okada man and his wife having assessed their budget and realized that their combined monthly income is 30k and decided to have just one child, while they raise him and try to save. If in the future they were able to improve their finances they can give birth to another.


What stops our parents from being responsible, rather than relying on fate or the believe that once we manage with the help of God to train the first child then the first child will help out with others. Please I know what it is to go to bed without food and I know what it is as a child to support a family.

menix:
Quit expecting her to sort u guyz nd u will experience open doors but once u keep hoping she will change nd start supporting the family you will be limited by ur thought..

Ask yourself this, if ur wealthy sister is not in the picture won't the family survive.

I know of a family their sister is a bank manager in USA, since the day she left nigeria till date she has not visited to say hi to the aged parents, she does not call, talkless send a torn wrapper to the mum..

This is what Jesus saw on the crox nd shouted it's is finished (Uwa Embigo)

Demainman1:


The young eaglet who scored the highest goals in the just concluded FIFA under 17th world cup fitsid perfectly into the families you have just described. Today he has just been signed by one of the big clubs in Europe.

Should he now turn his back on his parents because of all the struggles he went through growing up? Think boy, think!

This story is about a daughter who is well off but refused to aid her sick mum.

The only reason I can think of is PASTOR or guy man boyfriend.

raayah:


No where in the post did OP say their family trained her. A lot of people in Nigeria train themselves through university. We don't even know how her family treated her when growing up.
It could even be that she has been giving them money all these while , yet they keep insulting her because she's single (as you can deduce from OP original post).
We need to hear both sides.

Brugge:


The problem is that Nigerians always shy away from the truth and we like wiping up sentiment. Have you ever considered what most kids go through as kids, ranging from having the worst living condition to hawking around goods at a very tender age, rather than being children. Have you ever considered that if most parents have set their priority right they would never put their kids in such situation?

You may not want to accept the truth but I have been with parents whose financial status aint good and they are about having a new baby in addition to the ones they could barely care for. Most of them their responses are same 'that God will take of the kids or that God will provide'. How on earth will a loving parent put their so called loved kids in such a situation?

I hope when you are old enough to start a family that you make a better choice so that your kids will be kids when they are supposed to be kids and be adult when they are meant to be one.

Naughtysite:


Stop saying what you do not understand.

It is the duty of children to care for their parents at old age. Even Jesus mentioned it in the gospels.

Parents cared for her to get to where she is right now. Dont get me annoyed. Smh.

I knew how much i strived to assist my mum recently and i hadnt the cash. She called me to say that God will open doors for me. Right now, just one month later, income has tripled.

Demainman1:


The young eaglet who scored the highest goals in the just concluded FIFA under 17th world cup fits perfectly into the families you have just described. Today he has just been signed by one of the big clubs in Europe.

Should he now turn his back on his parents because of all the struggles he went through growing up? Think boy, think!

This story is about a daughter who is well off but refused to aid her sick mum.

The only reason I can think of is "PASTOR" or a guy man boyfriend.