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I Need Help Fast! I Keep Falling In Love With The Wrong Guys - Romance - Nairaland

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I Need Help Fast! I Keep Falling In Love With The Wrong Guys by beleza(f): 1:26pm On Dec 16, 2015
I am not in a good situation at the moment. I am in love with a guy who has a girlfriend.Before you judge me here is my story.I am a lady in my late 20s, pretty, funny, lovable and a good christian but the major problem I have been facing since I knew about dating is the kind of guys I get attracted,they are usually cool but unserious,have commitment issues, are emotionally unavailable and just want to sleep with me.I am very emotional and I tend to show my feelings towards a guy so soon.Secondly I have never had a relationship that lasted more than six months.

In my 4 years in the university, I didnt have any relationship, not that i didnt want but guys were not just coming.My friends always felt I should have a lot of admirers because of my looks but the reverse was the case.After school, the few ones I tried to have,turned out sour.One was my former fellowship pastor so I thought he will be serious as he was old enough for marriage.This was about 4 years ago.I was disappointed when I realised that he was just after sex.He started acting up, withdrawing, saying I was disturbing him emotionally and that he is tired.Later, he said we should do friends with benefit, I just cut him off totally. This was a supposed pastor trying to take advvantage of my weakness.

A year later in 2013 met another dude.It didnt last up to six months before we broke up due to our numerous differences.he also didnt make a commitment, the major thing was that we liked ourselves.It took me a long time to get time over him.fast forward to this year met a very funny and inteeligent guy.we met on an online socialnetworking site.he is in his 30's and he seemed just like my perfect man. There was this connection I had with him and we could talk about anything at anytime.snooped on his social media accounts and I didnt see any signs of a lady or girlfriend so I felt the coast was clear.Only for me to ask him one day and he says he is in a relationship,even showed me her photo.I had already started having feelings for him, it was hard to turn back.We were so attracted to each other and it was to hard to resist him even though I knew he just wanted sex from me.Dude travels out and isnt communicating like before, even though he told me his gf is in nigeria but I wasn't convinced.

Our major fallout was when on my birthday I didnt get message fro him until a day later, I decided to send a nasty message to him saying he was just after my body and all.Dude gets angry, I started apologising almost immediately, this happed in October.he just reads my messages doesnt reply doesnt pick my calls.Since the incident happend, I havent been myself, I have never begged or apologised to any one like this in my life, I have cried almost everyday for the past two months, I cant concentrate at work.He recently came back but didn't tell me but I found out on my own.Went to his house a few days ago unannounced just to apologize, He got more angry in the process saying he warned not to come without telling him.He said he has forgiven me and also apologized for leading on but ended up saying he has issues with people that dont trust him.The worst part is he knows I love him so he is doing this to hurt me more.

I just cant get him out of my mind, I think about him everyday, I am in a dilemma.we never had sex, we just kissed and touched so I dont understand what is going on. I still sent him msgs yesterday but he just read them and didnt reply.I have uninstalled my whatsapp because of him so I cant send him msgs.At this point, I am fed up, I don't why love treats me like this. I need your advice asap cry cry.

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Re: I Need Help Fast! I Keep Falling In Love With The Wrong Guys by iceberylin(m): 1:29pm On Dec 16, 2015
You never told us what really attracted you to these wrong guys undecided

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Re: I Need Help Fast! I Keep Falling In Love With The Wrong Guys by Cyberfavour(m): 1:30pm On Dec 16, 2015
With your story, I can say that your conclusion is very wrong. You concluded wrongly, it's just coincidental.

My sole advice to you is to stop being too emotional and even when you love a guy don't let him see you like you are so dependent on him

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Re: I Need Help Fast! I Keep Falling In Love With The Wrong Guys by lyriclekidd(m): 1:33pm On Dec 16, 2015
I'm the right one hun

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Re: I Need Help Fast! I Keep Falling In Love With The Wrong Guys by kingofchess(m): 1:35pm On Dec 16, 2015
I am coming

1 Like 3 Shares

Re: I Need Help Fast! I Keep Falling In Love With The Wrong Guys by Hundreddegrees(m): 1:36pm On Dec 16, 2015
Its quite unfortunate

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Re: I Need Help Fast! I Keep Falling In Love With The Wrong Guys by ojmetrix(m): 1:39pm On Dec 16, 2015
Am de
Re: I Need Help Fast! I Keep Falling In Love With The Wrong Guys by Nobody: 1:39pm On Dec 16, 2015
Complicated
Re: I Need Help Fast! I Keep Falling In Love With The Wrong Guys by achinaboy(m): 1:43pm On Dec 16, 2015
maybe you have to learn how not to be so gumy gumy to guys, most guys I know,don't like women that are so gumy and emotional,,just be free and enjoy your life as a young girl, don't be so much focused on settling down, when it's time to settle down,the right person will come, and again don't be so cheap give guys some hard time,and that would make them to really try hard because they want to see that which makes you special, goodluk

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Re: I Need Help Fast! I Keep Falling In Love With The Wrong Guys by kaywhynoni: 1:44pm On Dec 16, 2015
Eleyi gidi gan oo


Let's wait for some mature people to advice you, cos a lot of Teens are up in here.....


Run outa thread!!!

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Re: I Need Help Fast! I Keep Falling In Love With The Wrong Guys by Lobolintin(m): 1:53pm On Dec 16, 2015
Hmmmmmm,, sister,.... Let him go,please

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Re: I Need Help Fast! I Keep Falling In Love With The Wrong Guys by luvguy(m): 1:54pm On Dec 16, 2015
u fall in luv too quickly nd ur 2 emotional

15 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Need Help Fast! I Keep Falling In Love With The Wrong Guys by Nobody: 1:58pm On Dec 16, 2015
kikikikiki grin


real fact #love sucks

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Re: I Need Help Fast! I Keep Falling In Love With The Wrong Guys by firstking01(m): 1:58pm On Dec 16, 2015
Op, we are replicas in dis area of life, truth is, there's notin u can do abt it...destiny has d best answer to ur question...just live ur normal life, dnt force urslf on people,,,stay put,,,i knw wit tym u must still fall in love,,,we are wired like datsad...ur nt d only one experiencing dis...i 've read lotsa stuffs like dis here...remember wat i said, wait for destiny, u have no choicesmiley...i'd creat a thread on dis in d evening, just stay tuned, bt i need more inspirationsad, cos it's a very delicate issue dat has to deal wit ur destiny.

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Re: I Need Help Fast! I Keep Falling In Love With The Wrong Guys by ProfSamurai(m): 1:59pm On Dec 16, 2015
It's a hard one sis.
Are you pretty in a sexy way?

What's your selling point. Your beauty or brains?
If you are the type that makes a positive input in a man's life - you should consider the 90 day rule when it comes to s3z, if you can't lock up shop for a longer time.

I'm attracted to pretty girls, but I need more than a pretty face and hot s3z to keep me. I do not usually ask the girls out for s3z, but when that is their only selling point - I tend to chop and clean mouth.

My advice? Mop up your attitude, keep a lot of male friends, and change your mindset. We all are not after your body. Goodluck

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Re: I Need Help Fast! I Keep Falling In Love With The Wrong Guys by Nobody: 2:01pm On Dec 16, 2015
Who needs love?? Oh well, Bitches be crazy.
Re: I Need Help Fast! I Keep Falling In Love With The Wrong Guys by Cholls(m): 2:11pm On Dec 16, 2015
My sister their is absolutely nothing wrong with you. The reason you fall for the wrong guys is simply because you are too emotional. My sister the only way for you to find the right guy is for you to start hating guys for you to know who is serious to have you.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Need Help Fast! I Keep Falling In Love With The Wrong Guys by Catalyst4real: 2:14pm On Dec 16, 2015
[size=16pt]Here is your problem.

You give guys the cookie before they even develop true affection for you[/size].

27 Likes 4 Shares

Re: I Need Help Fast! I Keep Falling In Love With The Wrong Guys by Nobody: 2:24pm On Dec 16, 2015
You seem like a good lady, if he likes you he won't put you through too much stress before he brings you into his arms back.
However, you need to learn to be decisive and principled with your emotions. In sum, let your actions be rationally induced than emotions.
Good luck!

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Re: I Need Help Fast! I Keep Falling In Love With The Wrong Guys by Spikkylee: 2:26pm On Dec 16, 2015
Nasty Spiritual Husband at work..!!

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Re: I Need Help Fast! I Keep Falling In Love With The Wrong Guys by idontaya: 2:26pm On Dec 16, 2015
Sorry about that. Try and not call or sms him. If he dosen't call you, let go

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Re: I Need Help Fast! I Keep Falling In Love With The Wrong Guys by tosyne2much(m): 2:34pm On Dec 16, 2015
First and foremost, for the few years I have lived on earth, one thing I noticed about life is that, people tend to ride and be in control of your life when you subject yourself under their authority and leadership, or especially when they relief you of your financial burden


Personally, I'm not that type of a delusional person that always attributes the challenges of men to spiritual problems, and I so much believe in the saying "no one does the same thing over and over again expecting different results". I think you need to however examine yourself to deduce the problem by changing your way of life, it may be your dressing, manner of talking, too much stalking, the perception you have towards people, high level of trust you put in people, how you treat people, your social relationship, your self esteem, etc

I'm not necessarily trying to tell you to become a pretender in a bid to finding the right partner. All I'm trying to say is that, Just change your way of life and see if you would still get the same result. You might think you've got the qualities every craves for, but mind you, there might be something you are ignorant of which pissess them off


That aside, some people are not so lucky when it comes to dating cos it's always a sorrowful experience and emotional trauma that ends it. I think you are that unfortunate type. The fact that the clock is ticking fast doesn't necessarily mean you should jump on any man that shows little interest in you. Be confident in yourself, think positively, work towards becoming a lady that a man will crawl on the floor just to have, not you doing that


Since you are no more a kid, kindly discuss it with your mother and also take it to God in prayer

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Re: I Need Help Fast! I Keep Falling In Love With The Wrong Guys by jabojafa(m): 2:37pm On Dec 16, 2015
at this point wot u need is to take decisions with ur head since ur hrt has failed u. Learn to be in control of ur emotions. Stop being side chic to dis guy. You are suppose to a main chic. Allow guys to fight to have you. Giv d dude a brk. U r too loaded to b a spare tire to a guy.

17 Likes 3 Shares

Re: I Need Help Fast! I Keep Falling In Love With The Wrong Guys by Nobody: 2:44pm On Dec 16, 2015
cryWell, trust me girl....Your world Would be Much Easier n less dramatic if You Stopped Making It Revolve around "Guys"...lipsrsealed

Are You independent? Do You just want A Guy Coz U want someone taking care of Your needs, financially? coz U seem pretty desperate to me!undecided

Maybe the reason these guys are backing Out is 'Coz They feel You'd only be parasitic towards 'em...and No one wants that!embarassed

Bout the 2013 guy...He doesn't like You..I think U should just forget bout him..No Real guy would see a Lady in that much pain and still ignore her the way he did..he's A douchebag!

Just start working Towards Your future...Be independent, be successful, be beautiful, be bold, be classy...that's when Guys would come, You'd only have to choose from so many...

13 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Need Help Fast! I Keep Falling In Love With The Wrong Guys by iamtomi(f): 2:45pm On Dec 16, 2015
luvguy:
u fall in luv too quickly nd ur 2 emotional
u didnt av to quote all she wrote again just to drop ur opinion..

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Need Help Fast! I Keep Falling In Love With The Wrong Guys by Michellla(f): 2:58pm On Dec 16, 2015
Estharfabian:
cryWell, trust me girl....Your world Would be Much Easier n less dramatic if You Stopped Making It Revolve around "Guys"...lipsrsealed

One question, You're in Your late 20's Huh? Are You independent? Independent Like, Do You just want A Guy Coz U want someone talking care of You needs, financially?

Maybe the reason these guys are backing Out is 'Coz They feel You'd only be parasitic towards 'em...and No one wants that!embarassed

Bout the 2013 guy...He doesn't like You..I think U should just forget bout him..No Real guy would see a Lady in that much pain and still ignore her the way he did..he's A douchebag!

Just start working Towards Your future...Be independent, be successful, be beautiful, be bold, be classy...that's when Guys would come, You'd only have to choose from so many...
you're right.

3 Likes

Re: I Need Help Fast! I Keep Falling In Love With The Wrong Guys by Omotayor123(f): 2:59pm On Dec 16, 2015
The problem is you fall in love easily... And when you love, you love regardless.

My Advice : Keep Calm and wait for your Mr. Right!
Don't let yeye guys continue to take you for granted.

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Re: I Need Help Fast! I Keep Falling In Love With The Wrong Guys by Mzdivacious(f): 3:02pm On Dec 16, 2015
i feel so sad just reading this...all i know is it will pass.but stop getting too attached to people who havent proclaimed their love yet

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Re: I Need Help Fast! I Keep Falling In Love With The Wrong Guys by Nobody: 3:02pm On Dec 16, 2015
Michellla:
you're right.
thankchu girl!wink

1 Like

Re: I Need Help Fast! I Keep Falling In Love With The Wrong Guys by jerryfunky(m): 3:10pm On Dec 16, 2015
the truth is.....if u really want to get d best guy of ur choice....switch off ur emotions...by dat I meant zero it.....u get to meet a guy and still act like he matter less to u....just assume he's not gonna last 2weeks wit u....make him want u more by frequent petting him.... actually men are babies....just the grown one....and still act mature......we men are Always in a quest to know y u feel we meant nothing to u....so know he's flaws too and work on it..irrespective of what us see or hear....try as much as u can to always understand Wen he's emotional and try to support...but don't chew more dan u can swallow...


infact.......just act u really don't care....at some point.....and also show u care a lot when necessary the idea is....u become UNPREDICTABLE..... then he will be moved to know more.....




don't try these at home..... I mean don't do these to someone like me....because I would quickly switch the TABLES...

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Re: I Need Help Fast! I Keep Falling In Love With The Wrong Guys by ipledge10(m): 3:16pm On Dec 16, 2015
What can i say
Re: I Need Help Fast! I Keep Falling In Love With The Wrong Guys by Walesadeyemi(m): 3:20pm On Dec 16, 2015
See this beautiful smart girl killing herself on one stupid guy that doesn't even deserve her. I know (100% certain) that you're a very adorable human being and guys should be killing themselves to have you.
Babe this guy doesn't deserve you a bit and you're there feeding his stupid ego. Pls move on boo, he doesn't deserve such an awesome beautiful lady like you and for God sake you're a diamond girl.





Hope I've fed your ego well? All you actually need now is self esteem booster Coz that's all I can see that you're lacking and if you want to get over that idiot guy, just think of all his imperfections and I'm sure he has a lot.

Never think of the good times you had with him Coz that would only hurt you, think of his bighead, wide nose, the way he limps and so on and you'll get over him sooner than you think.
Good luck

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