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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends (24016 Views)
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An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by Naijasinglegirl: 8:48am On Feb 09, 2016 |
Dear Nigerian boyfriends We hope that you and your ATM card are getting ready for Sunday? In no particular order, below are a list of items we WOULD NO LONGER accept as Valentine day gifts. BBM BC’s Whatsapp BC’s BBM PM Shoutouts Instagram Woman Crush Sunday. Romantic sms except it is accompanied with a credit alert. Card: Soft and hard copies. This is not applicable to recharge cards. Please note the s. Leaves/Flowers: Fresh, rubber, dried, scented, unscented, cooked and uncooked. Perfumes from an unnamed designer: That type that stains cloth and produces rashes. Cheap jewelries made out of copper, steel, zinc and iron. Cheap chocolates. Rice & Chicken in Mr Biggs nylon. However, while we are still saving for your Bentley, we expect that you’d receive your regular valentine pack of a handkerchief, a singlet and a boxer with sincere appreciation as these three items connotes a deep meaning that has more value than silver and gold. A white handkerchief signifies gratitude. We are indirectly apologising for all the times we made you sweat and thanking you for sticking with us. All the wonderful things you could use your handkerchief for You boys never have more than three singlets. This is why we keep adding another one year after year. We wouldn’t be giving you briefs/boxers if we haven’t envisage a future with you. We care about your body & the packaging of reproductive organs. Extras of ties and cufflinks, who doesn’t like a perfect gentleman? In addition to the above, you are expected to observe the following rules from now till 15th February. – You are not allowed to take any one week impromptu trip to the village to visit your uncle’s brother husband. No fake business trips! No disappearing acts! – You are advised not to fake any form of terminal disease or sickness. Be warned. – No bad phone, bad network, bad battery, phone speaker is bad , power button is not working excuses. – No ‘ATM is not working or card has been blocked’ excuses. You have from now till Friday to register your BVN. – You are advised to increase your tolerance level for all our excesses. No ‘we should go on a break’ ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ or ‘I have been thinking about this relationship’ speech will be accepted. – Third service, fourth service, prayer meeting, youth meeting and fasting MUST NOT be used as an excuse come Sunday the 14th. Please pass to respective parties. We thank you in advance for understanding. Signed: By @Naijasinglegirl, On behalf of girlfriends in Nigeria. http://www.naijasinglegirl.com/open-letter-nigerian-boyfriends 83 Likes 9 Shares |
Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by chigoizie7(m): 8:50am On Feb 09, 2016 |
And what will thy get in return? 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by Adortem: 8:51am On Feb 09, 2016 |
HIV/AIDS is real,play safe and be faithful to your partner,I feel love should be celebrated everyday not just a day. Febuary 14,men are looking forward to good sex from bae,ladies are looking forward to good gifts from guy...don't be deceived,be wise! 11 Likes 6 Shares |
Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by Nobody: 8:51am On Feb 09, 2016 |
Okay, we've heard you. What happens after Valentine is even more important to us. November is believed to record the highest number of births in recent times so we do not mind making such sacrifices you have requested for as long as we get the Coochie then we'll be fine. Hopefully, in nine months you will give us a bunch of babies. If you are not ready for that, then we still have a free pass to the Coochie. I bet this is a worthy arrangement and we are absolutely ready to bare the cost/investment towards infinitesimal joy in the bedroom and hopefully, this applies to other aspects of our lives. It will be a win win situation and everyone is happy. Signed. By Brandnew2 @GidiLink On behalf of frustrated Nigerian men. 15 Likes |
Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by Blizzyblinkzy(f): 8:52am On Feb 09, 2016 |
Wetin happen?
Na because of you him dey work? 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by jonaifame22(m): 8:52am On Feb 09, 2016 |
And also naija gals pls take care of ur pvssy very well on dat day, cos guys will go down that alley,we don't want no funny smell please! 12 Likes 1 Share |
Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by Nobody: 8:53am On Feb 09, 2016 |
YINMU |
Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by GAZZUZZ(m): 8:54am On Feb 09, 2016 |
38 Likes 1 Share
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Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by Synzu(m): 8:54am On Feb 09, 2016 |
What's all this nonsense about valentine?? Why should it be about boyfriends and girlfriends? Nigerians too like to dey overdo things 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by Nobody: 8:55am On Feb 09, 2016 |
Naijasinglegirl:Crap! Crap! Crap! Megacrap!! 5 Likes |
Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by Nobody: 8:55am On Feb 09, 2016 |
chigoizie7:na toto na. Whatelse? |
Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by bqlekan(m): 9:01am On Feb 09, 2016 |
Hahaha naijasinglegirl no go kee me with laughter... You all needs to see her blog 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by chigoizie7(m): 9:04am On Feb 09, 2016 |
stupidity: Well. I could get a handful, a groupie with her 14yr old kid sis won't be a bad idea. |
Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by khalhokage(m): 9:05am On Feb 09, 2016 |
Naijasinglegirl you don come again, I'm personally thinking of a short lived terminal illness. 1 Like |
Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by Nobody: 9:06am On Feb 09, 2016 |
Brandnew2:Hahahahaha @ frustrated Nigerian men. Abeg, who dey frustrate una? 1 Like |
Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by Nobody: 9:08am On Feb 09, 2016 |
Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by Laveda(f): 9:08am On Feb 09, 2016 |
Smh This Sunday won't be easy though |
Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by pbs4real(m): 9:09am On Feb 09, 2016 |
Naijasinglegirl:shoro niyen |
Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by Nobody: 9:12am On Feb 09, 2016 |
missbronze:Na rhetoric question be this? |
Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by vault(m): 9:17am On Feb 09, 2016 |
so girls with no bf should just rob bank 4 val |
Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by Nobody: 9:31am On Feb 09, 2016 |
Is Valentine for lovers alone ? Does love exist between lovers alone? should love be shown to lovers alone? should love be celebrated by lovers alone? Hmmmmmmm 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by firstking01(m): 9:40am On Feb 09, 2016 |
Op, you mumu no be smaLL |
Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by firstking01(m): 9:41am On Feb 09, 2016 |
Op, you mumu no be smaLL |
Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by mcdreeezy: 9:47am On Feb 09, 2016 |
It's not by force. |
Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by DgRaNdShErifF(m): 9:48am On Feb 09, 2016 |
Naijasinglegirl:In Akpos' voice: E no rhyme joor. Try part 2 So stale; You can do better |
Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by KimBerlyie: 10:32am On Feb 09, 2016 |
3 Likes 2 Shares
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Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by Nobody: 10:40am On Feb 09, 2016 |
Sometimes,i dey wonder why some mumu guys go spend half of their salaries on one girl's kitten?If their siblings beg them for #200 them go tight face like person wey drink bitterleaf water.Bro,If you no fvck her you no go die.It's not worth that huge spending na. 6 Likes |
Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by Nobody: 11:03am On Feb 09, 2016 |
Brandnew2:very funny so are you talking about baby mama things or marriage? |
Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by Nobody: 11:43am On Feb 09, 2016 |
pucelle:One comes with a certificate and the other comes with money. Choose one! |
Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by Nobody: 12:08pm On Feb 09, 2016 |
Brandnew2:the one that comes with a certificate is permanent and surely gets more money...I choose that |
Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by Elparaiso(m): 12:09pm On Feb 09, 2016 |
February is the only month I get happy that I don't have bae. 6 Likes |
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