ccffwx:
Let no one be selfish here. A woman agreed to be raped so that her husband would live. Raped by more than one person. This shows that she loves him. She is also traumatised not just the husband and deserves love and not selfish egotic excuses. Sometimes I wonder if most Nigerian men are selfish. Rape is never the victim's fault.

Arielle:

You're wondering if most nigerian men are selfish? Wonder no more. Read this thread and add conceited, entitled, cruel and immature. A wife is there for his convenience. God forbid that he should put self aside to comfort the woman who actually suffered the rape. Reading the comments here leave me disgusted. And very sad. Even from a Nairalander I had respect for. Thank God I have sons. I pray I raise them different from all these 'men'. If I had daughters I'd encourage them to find husbands far from these shores.

crackhaus:
Mindfulness, what do you think about this?

Arielle:

You're wondering if most nigerian men are selfish? Wonder no more. Read this thread and add conceited, entitled, cruel and immature. A wife is there for his convenience. God forbid that he should put self aside to comfort the woman who actually suffered the rape. Reading the comments here leave me disgusted. And very sad. Even from a Nairalander I had respect for. Thank God I have sons. I pray I raise them different from all these 'men'. If I had daughters I'd encourage them to find husbands far from these shores.

Acidosis:



So what do you think? The man should hump on the woman immediately after the rape incidence? Cmon, only a dog would do that.

Acidosis:



So what do you think? The man should hump on the woman immediately after the rape incidence? Cmon, only a dog would do that.

infogenius:
To tell the truth, I may not touch you for a while if I were your husband.
Do you know what it is for your husband to watch riff-raffs take turns on you?
Too bad.

Just let him be. Don't worry him at home. Send messages to him through WhatsApp or sms telling him how much you yearn for his touch.

More importantly improve on the time you spend with him, pray with him and pray for him. And hopefully he will change.

Don't pick quarrels with him even if you perceive he his taking care of himself outside.

Understand that he is going through hard times.

infogenius:
To tell the truth, I may not touch you for a while if I were your husband.
Do you know what it is for your husband to watch riff-raffs take turns on you?
Too bad.

Just let him be. Don't worry him at home. Send messages to him through WhatsApp or sms telling him how much you yearn for his touch.

More importantly improve on the time you spend with him, pray with him and pray for him. And hopefully he will change.

Don't pick quarrels with him even if you perceive he his taking care of himself outside.

Understand that he is going through hard times.

Kosigift:

This is unbelievable! Like seriously? How selfish can you get??

GSKing:
How you guys assume the rape victim is strong and okay enough to have "a talk" with her husband is baffling. Like it's absolutely nothing and it takes nothing to get over the rape and move on! The husband is the one who needs to be strengthening and encouraging her after the incident. She needs love even though she's acting strong and in need of affection.

They both need counselling from an unbiased professional especially that uneducated and uninformed husband of hers.

He is traumatized? How dare everyone make this about the man?

How old are these commenters above anyways?

Timbuktou:


You will be shocked when your sons become men, how they will act; like men. You women should stop with this foolish statement already. You think the man doesn't feel like a failure? You do not know the first thing about male psychology. Shut up.

GenAnsahCinC:
[Yes, i talk normal with him. He do call me on phone whenever he's at work. He smiles with me, we eat together. But in bed he refuses to touch me. He backs me when sleeping. I don't really want sex. That's not my aim. My husband is a man who enjoys sex I was afraid that if I don't give it to him, he might get it somewhere else. That was why I demanded for sex and I was surprised when he refuses. Sometimes he would lie in the bed with eyes open thinking. Whenever I woke up to see him awake I'll asked him what the matter was he will tell me nothing happened he just don't feel sleepy. I feel guilty. If not for the sake of my daughter I would have asked for divorce so I can stay out of his life and let him have a new life.

infogenius:
To tell the truth, I may not touch you for a while if I were your husband.
Do you know what it is for your husband to watch riff-raffs take turns on you?
Too bad.

Just let him be. Don't worry him at home. Send messages to him through WhatsApp or sms telling him how much you yearn for his touch.

More importantly improve on the time you spend with him, pray with him and pray for him. And hopefully he will change.

Don't pick quarrels with him even if you perceive he his taking care of himself outside.

Understand that he is going through hard times.

GSKing:
How you guys assume the rape victim is strong and okay enough to have "a talk" with her husband is baffling. Like it's absolutely nothing and it takes nothing to get over the rape and move on! The husband is the one who needs to be strengthening and encouraging her after the incident. She needs love even though she's acting strong and in need of affection.

They both need counselling from an unbiased professional especially that uneducated and uninformed husband of hers.

He is traumatized? How dare everyone make this about the man?

How old are these commenters above anyways?

ccffwx:
Let no one be selfish here. A woman agreed to be raped so that her husband would live. Raped by more than one person. This shows that she loves him. She is also traumatised not just the husband and deserves love and not selfish egotic excuses. Sometimes I wonder if most Nigerian men are selfish. Rape is never the victim's fault.

smartigo:
Madam, thinking of sex after being rape is very strange and it makes you a strong woman. Unfortunately, your husband isn't seeing it that way. so the issue now is how both of you can see things the same way to manage and appreciate each other.
1. Don't disturb your husband too much about it lest you give him the impression you enjoyed the experience.

2. What you need is healing of body,soul n mind. Then you can talk to your husband about going for a therapy because you know how he is feeling but he should also remember you are the bigger victim.

You are feeling not wanted which isn't what is used to be with you and you want that back,r right? you will need to give it time to heal.

3. Lastly, pray for God judgement on those thieves, healing for yourself n family.
peace madam.

Ioannes:
It's good that you got counselling. But obviously the person that needs it more is your husband.

Let him get counselling too or professional help from pyschologists.

If that doesn't work, you may need to let his mother know what's going on. Don't wait until he impregnates the neighbor's daughters.

SWITANN:

If so, the both of them should see the psychologist and take sessions. Or don't you think she also needs it. My point is clear: this violated woman needs more love from her husband than what is reported. Nigerians should stop trivialising rape.







yeah true talk but the man will also be affected psychologically. therefore making him behave that y,he just needs some time and few sessions with a psychologist.

SWITANN:








well just cos the woman wants to have sex with her hubby doesn't mean she wasn't affected by the rape,she is d victim here okay. they both need to see a professional not just d husband

GenAnsahCinC:
My name is Gift Anthony (Real name withheld) I am in me early 30s, I got married three years ago and we are blessed with a girl-child. MY husband is a business man while I am a secondary school teacher in a private school. My husband is a man who enjoys sex and would want to have sex three times a week. I have never denied him sex whenever he demands for it. Early this year some unknown gun men stormed our area, they entered people's houses and made away with their belongings. They entered our house and ordered us (me, my husband and my daughter) to lie on the floor. One of them was pointing gun at us and told us he will shoot if we shout or get up. Others entered the rooms and started searching for money and other valuables. They made away with our money and my jewelries. On coming out of the room about going, one of them who acted as their leader ordered me to remove my clothes, I refused and he threaten to shoot my husband. so I did. He asked me to lie on the floor and wanted to have sex with me i refused him. He told me if I don't cooperate that he was going to shoot my husband. I was afraid and I lay on the floor and allowed him have his way. When he was done, the next person had his own. After that, they returned my jewelries and made away with the money. The next morning my husband told me to go to a hospital for test/treatment which I did. I was tested of HIV/AIDS and STD the results were all negative. But since that incident, my husband has refused to have sex with me. He's always giving me excuses. Is either he's tired from the day activities or he's not in the mood. I don't know what to do. I've gone for counselling. Please I need your advice. Thanks