mightykay:
pls quival dont generalise cos im a nigerian man n will never subcribe to dat. this evilgenius n may be op's husband are infinitestimal like 0.00001% of nigerian men dat reason that evil way

oh no, not just infogenius and the op's husband but many guys out there with this mentality.
I Dont think its okay watching your husband being traumatized after you were raped(at gun point for that matter)while you were trying to save him..., Dont you think he better be dead
at least, you only have his death to bear for a time :p rather than bearing the rape,stigma, and His trauma..geeeezzzz
and please we both know that your stats is a big joke

taryour:


how about she had refused being raped and a bullet put thru the man's head and her life will sure continue afterwards init

but no for the love she had for her hubby she took the brunt and now she is a bitch who can't be touched again by the man she saved

If she had refused being raped, the robbers would do what they have to do anyway. When a robber says: "your life or your money?", the money would still be gotten even if you choose life.

My point is, if the robber had shot the man, the robbers would in fact, do more harm to her for being so "heartless". No woman can refuse being rap.ed when confronted with a gun, so she should keep the "sympathetic" stories aside. She didn't only save the 'man', she saved herself and her family.

It is one thing for a wife to be raped, it is another thing for one's wife to be raped in the presence of the husband. Men and women view s.ex differently so I cannot totally fault the man. We have seen women who voluntarily allow their husbands sleep with strange women. We have seen women who bring home a 2nd, 3rd wife. This ideology however does not work for men. The man needs time to get over the thought.

On the path of the woman, she needs to be understanding and be patient with her husband. Seeing 2 men taking rounds live on his wife can even affect erec.tion. It takes a very heartless man to witness such and resume active s.ex immediately without any thought of vengeance, or plans for arrest and prosecution of the robbers.

quivah:

the guy just shock people fa..
that's extreme stupidity

My sister, i abandoned everytin im doing to deal wt dat boy, infact i ve to get fuel at all cost to charge my phone to reset dat boy's brain. Imagine having this boy in govt. dat means we er finished.

I am very shocked that the lady in question is not getting much sympathy for what she went through instead people are talking of the man's trauma. Hmmmm

Am sorry for what you went through, MA. That is one of the worst experiences anyone can ever have please try to forget and move on. Get therapy if you can afford it.
As for your husband he is a very immature man, sorry to say. I agree the situation is not what a good husband will experience and be happy about but he could have at least comforted you. He could have talked to you tell you he still loves you in spite of what happens and he knows it's not your fault.
Ignoring you like this is very very cruel.

For the main time don't let him determine your happiness. Do other things to make yourself happy and don't offer him sex again until he asks by himself. If he continues shunning you after one year then you should seriously consider ending the marriage.

quivah:

oh no, not just infogenius and the op's husband but many guys out there with this mentality.
I Dont think its okay watching your husband being traumatized after you were raped(at gun point for that matter)while you were trying to save him..., Dont you think he better be dead
at least, you only have his death to bear for a time :p rather than bearing the rape,stigma, and His trauma..geeeezzzz

It is myopic to assume the woman and her child would be spared after killing the husband.

When a robber tells you "your money or your life?", do you think the interest lies in the life?

What would the robbers gain for killing the husband? All they needed was forced s.ex, and that would be gotten whether the husband is dead or alive.

Acidosis:



It is myopic to assume the woman and her child would be spared after killing the husband.

When a robber tells you "your money or your life?", do you think the interest lies in the life?

What would the robbers gain for killing the husband? All they needed was forced s.ex, and that would be gotten whether the husband is dead or alive.

oh oga
I mentioned this in one of my post already so spare me.
but I believe he's better off dead than facing this 'trauma'

thotianna:
I am very shocked that the lady in question is not getting much sympathy for what she went through instead people are talking of the man's trauma. Hmmmm

Am sorry for what you went through, MA. That is one of the worst experiences anyone can ever have please try to forget and move on. Get therapy if you can afford it.
As for your husband he is a very immature man, sorry to say. I agree the situation is not what a good husband will experience and be happy about but he could have at least comforted you. He could have talked to you tell you he still loves you in spite of what happens and he knows it's not your fault.
Ignoring you like this is very very cruel.

For the main time don't let him determine your happiness. Do other things to make yourself happy and don't offer him sex again until he asks by himself. If he continues shunning you after one year then you should seriously consider ending the marriage.

I endorse this post!!
its okay if he doesn't feel the urge for se.xx for what happened but he isn't the only one in pains, she went through a lot too, more than he did.. his support and love and care is what he should be giving, rather than his immaturity..but its unfortunate many Nigerian guys are like this, so I think them being killed if in this situation is just better than being traumatized.. you know they are 'men'., they rather be dead than letting go and supporting their wives..

What baffles me is the fact that the thread bothers majorly on se.x.

I've been the only one talking about arrest, vengeance and prosecution. Without this, I don't see them getting over the act anytime soon. No amount of e.jaculation or pyschological therapy can supersede the joy of seeing those robbers 6-feet below the ground, or at least 50 years in prison.

Attempts should be made to get those robbers, and swift plans should be made for a relocation.

quivah:

sir you are funny very funny.
we are talking about rape at a gunpoint,, either man's life or her body..and you still feel wise to bring up cooperation.. permission from her husband before she gets rape while trying to save him
loool so even if she decided on her own, she is to be blamed for acting under such pressure in order to safe her beloved but this beloved shouldn't be blamed for going out (willingly) to have se.xx outside because his wife was gangraped while trying to save him..
you are not making sense!! absolutely no sense.
The shock people expressed on your post is an evidence of how senseless a human being can be..

just shut it, you really embarrassed your self on this one ...

except maybe you are trolling sha.. like really trolling
even dinachi can't come this low :p

I am so sure you came to this thread to look.
I don't have to go with reasoning of so many dummies.
I never blamed the op. Please read and re-read my post.
Many of you here which includes you are so shallow minded
when reading.

You don;t have to send insults to me because I made
comment,pass it on and go if you are not cool with it.

I don't need your opinion or what you think to live my life
I made a lot of sense even though it was not a popular
opinion which I don't care.
At least popular opinions have ruined this nation.

Abeg if you see no sense to what i posted, it means
you were blinded to the sense it carried.

So just pass and don't insult me.

infogenius:

I am so sure you came to this thread to look. I don't have to go with reasoning of so many dummies. I never blamed the op. Please read and re-read my post. Many of you here which includes you are so shallow minded when reading.
You don;t have to send insults to me because I made comment,pass it on and go if you are not cool with it.
I don't need your opinion or what you think to live my life I made a lot of sense even though it was not a popular opinion which I don't care. At least popular opinions have ruined this nation.
Abeg if you see no sense to what i posted, it means you were blinded to the sense it carried.
So just pass and don't insult me.

I'm sorry for the insults, I just couldn't help it.. yeah you made a lot of sense only you agreed to.. LOL much for a lot of sense

quivah:

I endorsed this post!!
its okay if he doesn't feel the urge for se.xx for what happened but he isn't the only one in pains, she went through a lot too, more than he did.. his support and love and care is what he should be giving, rather than his immaturity..but its unfortunate many Nigerian guys are like this, so I think them being killed if in this situation is just better than being traumatized.. you know they are 'men'., they rather be dead than letting go and supporting their wives..

Assuming the tables were turned and the man got raped by homosexuals while the wife denies him sex because she is' traumatized' Nairaland men will enter this thread in hundreds to insult his wife, insult all Nigerian women and advice the husband to divorce her immediately.
Nigerian men (many), are selfish and the problem with it is that they don't realize they are selfish they think their behavior is normal.
One was talking about the woman obtaining permission before getting raped. I didn't want to address his post because I don't want to raise my BP this morning by fighting.

You all should ignore, infogenius or whatever. He is not normal

quivah:

I'm sorry for the insults, I just couldn't help it..
yeah you made a lot of sense only you agreed to.. LOL
much for a lot of sense

imagine the boy telling u nt insult him but want u to read madness n pass on. my sister u ve respected him by only insulting him cos his post needs cursing to follow. u still show a well brought up style by appologising to him. but if ve him as ur elder brother wont u disown him wt this his display of tantrum dipolar membrane disorder posts

thotianna:


Assuming the tables were turned and the man got raped by homosexuals while the wife denies him sex because she is' traumatized' Nairaland men will enter this thread in hundreds to insult his wife, insult all Nigerian women and advice the husband to divorce her immediately.
Nigerian men (many), are selfish and the problem with it is that they don't realize they are selfish they think their behavior is normal.
One was talking about the woman obtaining permission before getting raped. I didn't want to address his post because I don't want to raise my BP this morning by fighting.

My sister im more than bn mad at dat evilgenius. I really want to know his age, his family and his medical report. im nt sure d guy is in a stable condition

thotianna:


Assuming the tables were turned and the man got raped by homosexuals while the wife denies him sex because she is' traumatized' Nairaland men will enter this thread in hundreds to insult his wife, insult all Nigerian women and advice the husband to divorce her immediately.
Nigerian men (many), are selfish and the problem with it is that they don't realize they are selfish they think their behavior is normal.
One was talking about the woman obtaining permission before getting raped. I didn't want to address his post because I don't want to raise my BP this morning by fighting.

you see, I know most Nigerian guys exhibit some irritating xters but this info guy own pass all levels..
I couldn't take it anymore so I just had to say something to him.
as for Nigerian guys and selfishness, its no longer surprising.
@emboldened, she better not be traumatized.. she better release that puccie..release it fast, only guys get traumatized.
crazy me, I just had a picture of a guy raped by homosexuals

mightykay:
imagine the boy telling u nt insult him but want u to read madness n pass on. my sister u ve respected him by only insulting him cos his post needs cursing to follow. u still show a well brought up style by appologising to him. but if ve him as ur elder brother wont u disown him wt this his display of tantrum dipolar membrane disorder posts

bro, make we leave am..I am very sure he has realized his wrong but just couldnt accept it, yet!

quivah:

you see, I know most Nigerian guys exhibit some irritating xters but this info guy own pass all levels..
I couldn't take it anymore so I just had to say something to him.
as for Nigerian guys and selfishness, its no longer surprising.
@emboldened, she better not be traumatized.. she better release that puccie..release it fast, only guys get traumatized.
crazy me, I just had a picture of a guy raped by homosexuals

sorry were u able to collect ur money from one guy dat sold one ebook to u dat we er looking for traffic, the guy's no doesnt go n d post was deleted. kindly give latest of the online buzi

mightykay:
sorry were u able to collect ur money from one guy dat sold one ebook to u dat we er looking for traffic, the guy's no doesnt go n d post was deleted. kindly give latest of the online buzi

that one don fail Jere..
we were scammed, there's nothing to update about the business, it was all planned, those two guys that claimed to be earning money from the premium stuff were his alternative accts, .. his number has been off,his WhatsApp which I presumed was registered on the same day he opened that thread has been deactivated...

Instead of you all to ignore a troll and focus on the issue at hand, you people are busy going back and forth arguing sh*t with the troll a.k.a infogenius and talking about business....derailing this thread.

True or not a woman said she was raped for bloody sake. Focus on that. Show her ways to heal.

Early this year some unknown gun men stormed our area, they entered people's houses and made away with their belongings. They entered our house and ordered us (me, my husband and my daughter) to lie on the floor. One of them was pointing gun at us and told us he will shoot if we shout or get up. Others entered the rooms and started searching for money and other valuables. They made away with our money and my jewelries. On coming out of the room about going, one of them who acted as their leader ordered me to remove my clothes, I refused and he threaten to shoot my husband. so I did. He asked me to lie on the floor and wanted to have sex with me i refused him. He told me if I don't cooperate that he was going to shoot my husband. I was afraid and I lay on the floor and allowed him have his way. When he was done, the next person had his own. After that, they returned my jewelries and made away with the money. The next morning my husband told me to go to a hospital for test/treatment which I did. I was tested of HIV/AIDS and STD the results were all negative. But since that incident, my husband has refused to have sex with me. He's always giving me excuses. Is either he's tired from the day activities or he's not in the mood. I don't know what to do. I've gone for counselling. Please I need your advice. Thanks

The bone of contention was the bolded. The attack started on my person started with the first comment I made on this topic.
We all don't operate on the same psychological or emotional level. I as a person would be heart broken and stay away from sex for a while. Why the attack on my person.

As an imaginative reader this was what went through my mind when I was reading this post.

Three scenarios, and I will replay them as i read through.

GenAnsahCinC:
On coming out of the room about going, one of them who acted as their leader ordered me to remove my clothes, I refused and he threaten to shoot my husband. so I did. He asked me to lie on the floor and wanted to have sex with me i refused him. He told me if I don't cooperate that he was going to shoot my husband. I was afraid and I lay on the floor and allowed him have his way. When he was done, the next person had his own. After that, they returned my jewelries and made away with the money.

Scene 1 - Topic

Thief 1 - Make we even chop something before we go. Hey you Remove your clothes
Babe - *Shaking* No, what for?
Thief 1 - Are you mad? I say remove your clothes or do you want your husband's blood to spill?
Thief 2- *Pointing the gun on the husbands head* Are you deaf?
Man- *Lying down and shaking*
Thief 1 - * Getting angry" Woman it is either you cooperate or I blow your husbands head off
Babe - *Shaking, lying on the floor"oya I am ready
(at least the post say she allowed him)
Thief 1 and Thief two had their way and moved on.
The party is over but the experience lingers.

Pathetic event, mind shattering and a big trauma to the family.
The man was absolutely disturbed by the events.
Wife come to Nairaland for advice

I responded with my first post and the attack begun.

Scene 2 (another angle)
At least the op didn't tell us the utterances made by the man


Thief 1 - Make we even chop something before we go. Hey you Remove your clothes
Babe - *Shaking* No, what for?
Thief 1 - Are you mad? I say remove your clothes or do you want your husband's blood to spill?
Thief 2- *Pointing the gun on the husbands head* Are you deaf?
Man- *Lying down and shaking and Muttering some words*
Thief 1 - * Getting angry" Woman it is either you cooperate or I blow your husbands head of
Babe - *Shaking* I can't do it
Thief 2- *Corks the Gun on the man's head* 10 seconds to go and don't waste our time.
Man - * Fear creeping in* Baby go ahead
The consent that blew this thread off
Thief 2 - 4, ..... 3
Man - *Fear and shaking profusely* Common baby go ahead

The rogues have their way.
Couples are heart broken but the man actually played an active role in the events
that ensued by telling his wife to go ahead.
Man can help the wife easily here because he told her to go ahead

This I claim was clearly better than the first option. Insults were thrown at me.
What is damn wrong here?

Scene 3 (My Way)

Thief 1 - Make we even chop something before we go. Hey you Remove your clothes
Babe - *Shaking* No, what for?
Thief 1 - Are you mad? I say remove your clothes or do you want your husband's blood to spill?
Thief 2- *Pointing the gun on the husbands head* Are you deaf?
Man- *Lying down*
Thief 1 - * Getting angry" Woman it is either you cooperate or I blow your husbands head of
Babe - *Shaking* I can't do it
Thief 2- *Corks the Gun on the man's head* 10 seconds to go and don't waste our time.
Babe - I won't (insisting) Standing her ground
Narration : I love this.
Thief 2 - 4, ..... 3
Babe - * Fear creeping in* ok ,please i am lying down , please spare him
Man - *Praying* No don't do it.

Whatever that happens thereafter is my business.
I as a person will not live to see such. And this is exactly what I will do.
Why the hate and rants over my person?

If my Father in the Lord Bishop David Oyedepo will not compromise
his stand on an issue like this why should I?
I am not afraid of what man will do to me but what God will do to me
fears me most.

I may be crazy on my stance on scene 3, that is me , i am not
interested in what you will do in similar circumstance.

I will choose to be bold like Daniel, Meshak and Abdenego than
to be chicken hearted like Judas.
Which of course only a few men can do.

My sincere apologies to Mightykay,quivah,HaneefahRN and missspicey
and any other person that feel offended if I have insulted you in any
way . I am sorry

But again your collective opinions will not change my motion on the subject.

I am off this thread for good.

Thanks to everyone that has made this thread a learning ground. I gained
a few things from you.

@ OP To bad you went through this event if it was actually a true life event.
Don't worry your marriage will stand and I believe God with you and your
husband to get through this trying times and be a formidable force of positive
change to those around you and the incoming generation.

thotianna:
I am very shocked that the lady in question is not getting much sympathy for what she went through instead people are talking of the man's trauma. Hmmmm

Am sorry for what you went through, MA. That is one of the worst experiences anyone can ever have please try to forget and move on. Get therapy if you can afford it.
As for your husband he is a very immature man, sorry to say. I agree the situation is not what a good husband will experience and be happy about but he could have at least comforted you. He could have talked to you tell you he still loves you in spite of what happens and he knows it's not your fault.
Ignoring you like this is very very cruel.

For the main time don't let him determine your happiness. Do other things to make yourself happy and don't offer him sex again until he asks by himself. If he continues shunning you after one year then you should seriously consider ending the marriage.

Some of you ladies are misunderstanding posts here.Leave out infogenius who is off the track and one or two others.The woman and her husband both need help.However,the way women and men deal with issues are usually not the same.Some men become babies when faced with some situations.The fact that they are 'men' doesn't mean it's not blood flowing through their veins.I make bold to say that when it comes to matters of the heart and mental strength,women have it more often than men.
From the lady's post here,she seems to be strong and has overcome the trauma to a great extent.She will still continue to need help but even she is focusing on her husband now.
You may call the man weak,immature,selfish,inconsiderate or whatever,but the fact remains that he needs help.He doesn't know how best to deal with this.He has to learn.If anyone has suggestions,give to him.He needs therapy.You say he should comfort the wife but he DOESN'T know how to.He needs to be taught and guided.
No-one is making this just about the man.

Cc:quivah

@infogenius. am happy u er bn cured partially but there is still an element of madness in ur post. ur man of God who is superor in physical streght and spiritual enablement will nt be obeying armed robbers diligently and respectifully and expect his wife who has powerless to do otherwise. if u er bold, courageous and annointed why can u stand up to the robbers n engage them so dat even if u er dead we will know u die trying to protect ur home n give u heroic burial then immortalise ur name, atleast dat will be better dan bn traumatised. But u lied down there like fowl pointing to where monies and other things are to d robbers n u still think u man,husband at dat moment wtout proving it is a high level of hypocrysy. infact u ve failed as a man n ordinally if robbers dont kill u, u need to kill urself for ur failure when u er needed most. And to worst ur case u er asking for permission against robbers u can literarily stop wt ur bravery n annointing. whoelse dat is teaching u courage need to start allover again

Ioannes:


Good morning. Please go ahead.

pls I want u to come join team FYNESTBOI. plssss

My candid advice even though its too late,you should have allowed the robbers to kill d man na. Losing your dignity and pride to protect a man who cant stand by you is not worth it.And from all the comments I've read so far,my dear,it is not worth it.Only God can console u at this time.

Hmmm

Is this the same story that aired last year?

https://www.nairaland.com/2662605/husband-no-longer-makes-love

Acidosis:

If she had refused being raped, the robbers would do what they have to do anyway. When a robber says: "your life or your money?", the money would still be gotten even if you choose life.

My point is, if the robber had shot the man, the robbers would in fact, do more harm to her for being so "heartless". No woman can refuse being rap.ed when confronted with a gun, so she should keep the "sympathetic" stories aside. She didn't only save the 'man', she saved herself and her family.

It is one thing for a wife to be raped, it is another thing for one's wife to be raped in the presence of the husband. Men and women view s.ex differently so I cannot totally fault the man. We have seen women who voluntarily allow their husbands sleep with strange women. We have seen women who bring home a 2nd, 3rd wife. This ideology however does not work for men. The man needs time to get over the thought.

On the path of the woman, she needs to be understanding and be patient with her husband. Seeing 2 men taking rounds live on his wife can even affect erec.tion. It takes a very heartless man to witness such and resume active s.ex immediately without any thought of vengeance, or plans for arrest and prosecution of the robbers.

oh please, according to your epistle up there, so the woman shouldn't be sympathetic in any way? do you know what it means to be raped by some dirty stinking filty animal in human skin not just 1 but 3 dumb aSs. do you know how long it will take some other victims to recover from such trauma

is the husband traumatised ? YES for witnessing such.
is the woman traumatised ? YES cause she is the victim and feels worse than her husband. she needs care and reassurance from her husband, she is dirty now and feel so much shame, anger, depressed, fear,outcast e.t.c
Who else needs to be closest to her now if not her spouse, on whose shoulder should she lean on and cry her bitterness on if not her husband?

it's 6 months gone by already and the man isn't over it. if he can't go on he should just open up to her rather than make her feel worse than she is. some victims never recover from rape cause they tend to withdraw to their selves.

that man needs to man up to his responsibilities. his even lucky his wife is ready to move on. some other women will turn to stone after such even, and will feel disgust towards their husbands for not being able to do anything while she was being given a life time scar.

SWITANN:









pls I want u to come join team FYNESTBOI. plssss

Awwwwwnnn... you really must have a strong crush for this guy. I feel honored that you are asking me and I promise to vote for your guy when the time comes. That much I can promise.

quivah:

I endorse this post!!
its okay if he doesn't feel the urge for se.xx for what happened but he isn't the only one in pains, she went through a lot too, more than he did.. his support and love and care is what he should be giving, rather than his immaturity..but its unfortunate many Nigerian guys are like this, so I think them being killed if in this situation is just better than being traumatized.. you know they are 'men'., they rather be dead than letting go and supporting their wives..

Hmmmmmmm....its best we're killed abi?

quivah:
with the few points on this thread, I have come to the realization that any woman who find herself in this unfortunate situation should go for the lesser evil...kill the man!!! especially if its a nigerian man..
the man better be dead than her being violated.
tho she might still get raped afterwards, but chill at least the husband ain't there no more to be traumatized..
it's your body, its his life..
choose your own oooo
be wise woman!!

Nigerian man...

kaboninc:


Nigerian man...

I use this opera mini, everything na small letter for hin side.. Even letters following a full stop, I get tired trying to hit the cap button all the time. so pardon me

kaboninc:


Hmmmmmmm....its best we're killed abi?

I just learnt you all better be off dead than be traumatized with such situation, even worse when you think its all about you forgetting who is in the real pain.

quivah:

I use this opera mini, everything na small letter for hin side.. Even letters following a full stop, I get tired trying to hit the cap button all the time. so pardon me

Actually I was referring to something else in most of your posts.

The way you single out Nigerian men for something gone wrong is really not fair. As much as you hate us, it doesn't mean other men are better.