Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,205,003 members, 7,990,770 topics. Date: Friday, 01 November 2024 at 12:23 AM

Why Do Things Change After Marriage? - Family (5) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Why Do Things Change After Marriage? (41756 Views)

Banker Commits Suicide After Marriage He Took N3M Loan Crashed After 2 Months / Husbands, Have You Noticed That Women Change After Wedding? / Why Do People Change After Getting Married? (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: Why Do Things Change After Marriage? by AreaFada2: 4:55pm On Mar 26, 2017
this is because change is the only constant.
The change can be postive or negative. Compare Bubu & GEJ govt for example. cheesy grin

Before marriage, people might be in their best behaviour to get hooked. Just like people were make up to cover unattractive blemishes, people do package themselves to be more attractive than they are.

A future wife beater can appear like a knight in shiny armour, some inflate their salaries to be seen as successful, etc. A woman with thedirtiest attributes of tatafo/backbiting, jealousy, laziness and allergy to in-laws, can feign near perfection when courting.

When the kids finally come and life becomes a grinding routine, it can all change quickly.
Re: Why Do Things Change After Marriage? by Zubby619(m): 4:58pm On Mar 26, 2017
all ur comments are great. but to me I thank is because most pple are not prepare for marriage, some get into marriage because of pressure from family members or because friends are getting married at such dey tink dey are also ready for it. for getting dt after wedding d real marriage start. d only institution DT will give u certificate before u start lectures and u will never graduate till death. Jesus is d way....

1 Like

Re: Why Do Things Change After Marriage? by Tajbol4splend(m): 4:59pm On Mar 26, 2017
Wiseoldman:


I'm not sure you can comprehend all of bill gates money.

I'm not sure you comprehend hyperbole
Re: Why Do Things Change After Marriage? by Mediapace: 4:59pm On Mar 26, 2017
tosyne2much:
Though, I'm not married neither am I a relationship expert but I think I can answer this question... As per say me sef no be small pikin again nah cheesy

Well, I think people go into marriage with ridiculous reasons (boobs, curves, 6packs, sex styles, money, etc), and also with hopes and expectations of how they've always pictured the flawlessness of marriage on Nollywood and Phillipines movies; how people describe the beauty of marriage, and how they've been fantasizing the marriage of other people and thus, short of expections trigger disappointment, irritation, enmity and disinterest among couples.

Most people tend to overlook the flaws (ojukokoro, laziness, self centeredness, promiscuity, gold digging, tendency to become slay queens, ojukokoro, lack of dress sense, lack of respect for your friends and family members, anger problem) of their partners during courtship and will take a bumpy ride into marriage with the ideology that marriage is a "magician" that completely changes or transforms people, without knowing that things sometimes do not happen that way... What you can't change at puberty, a mere RING cannot/may not change it.

Thats why it's said that LOVE is not enough to make someone your life partner, because there are other basic things that should be taken into considerations, and failure to do so makes your marriage vulnerable to chaos and abuse

When people get married, their eyes begin to open to reality after which they will get to realize that they ought to have married someone better, someone that will not hide her character at the expense of getting a RING. They begin to see some flaws in their partner which LOVE/INFATUATION blindfolded them from seeing during courtship

In a nutshell, marriage is an eye opener that opens your eyes from fairytale to reality.

This is not the matter of satan or witches and wizards in your village firing bow and arrow at you


I don't know if my comment makes any sense

Nice and inspirational boss man wink

2 Likes

Re: Why Do Things Change After Marriage? by thesicilian: 4:59pm On Mar 26, 2017
ayusco85:


Compatible not the one u spelt
Never really took the time to notice the difference. Indeed one learns everyday.
Thanks!

3 Likes

Re: Why Do Things Change After Marriage? by Tajbol4splend(m): 5:00pm On Mar 26, 2017
shehuolayinka:
Infatuation

Or deceit
Re: Why Do Things Change After Marriage? by Missonas(f): 5:11pm On Mar 26, 2017
dhardline:


Prayer does go a long way especially if the foundation is built properly. Most relationships that start with sex can make both parties not to see each other's faults or rather think they can manage the faults. Marriage is really hard work and for me my major desire is to marry a lady who sincerely loves God cause when you really love God then you can be reasoned with no matter the situation.
Lemme add. God is love. When you love God He puts the right love in your heart which makes u do everything out of love. So theres hardly any room for bad vibes it will come most definitely (trials) but u'll surpass em and grow together. God/Man/ Woman #inthatorder

1 Like

Re: Why Do Things Change After Marriage? by okorgbongidi(m): 5:12pm On Mar 26, 2017
tosyne2much:
Though, I'm not married neither am I a relationship expert but I think I can answer this question... As per say me sef no be small pikin again nah cheesy

Well, I think people go into marriage for ridiculous reasons (boobs, size of joystick, curves, 6packs, sex styles, money, etc), and also with hopes and expectations of how they've always pictured the flawlessness of marriage on Nollywood and Phillipines movies; how people describe the beauty of marriage, and how they've been fantasizing the marriage of other people and thus, short of expections trigger disappointment, irritation, enmity and disinterest among couples.

Most people tend to overlook the flaws (ojukokoro, laziness, self centeredness, promiscuity, gold digging, tendency to become slay queens, ojukokoro, lack of dress sense, lack of respect for your friends and family members, anger problem) of their partners during courtship and will take a bumpy ride into marriage with the ideology that marriage is a "magician" that completely changes or transforms people, without knowing that things sometimes do not happen that way... What you can't change at puberty, a mere RING cannot/may not change it.

Thats why it's said that LOVE is not enough to make someone your life partner, because there are other basic things that should be taken into considerations, and failure to do so makes your marriage vulnerable to chaos and abuse

When people get married, their eyes begin to open to reality after which they will get to realize that they ought to have married someone better, someone that will not hide her character at the expense of getting a RING. They begin to see some flaws in their partner which LOVE/INFATUATION blindfolded them from seeing during courtship

In a nutshell, marriage is an eye opener that opens your eyes from fairytale to reality.

This is not the matter of satan or witches and wizards in your village firing bow and arrow at you


I don't know if my comment makes any sense
Ur comment made lots of sense. Even though U are not a relationship expert. Keep it up

2 Likes

Re: Why Do Things Change After Marriage? by Commenthin: 5:13pm On Mar 26, 2017
Every idea here is valid but the first evil that crip in is family greed and jealousy. When people see or look at two people in-love, what do you see in the eye, throught or behaivour? Envy, jealousy, evil theoght and saying "it's wont last" why....because their when through same route, instead of guarding...they'll try to put apart.

Its start from husband or wife mother in-law and siblings demand for emotional or financial help, and they dont get enough...then problem start....meanwhile you never got such help from anyone.

The wife and husband will start to help there people in secret, the trust hit the rock. Then the affected family says "then so what, if he/she tell you nonsense tell him/her nonsense.....you see am. The pain creates the end of love and enmity starts....why one of the family camp rejoice....then they'll try to be the judge and helper to amend the relationship that started without their consent. The goal is to midate and continue to have access to whatever they wanted that wasnt enough initially....and love doesn't need a third party.





tosyne2much:
Though, I'm not married neither am I a relationship expert but I think I can answer this question... As per say me sef no be small pikin again nah cheesy

Well, I think people go into marriage with ridiculous reasons (boobs, curves, 6packs, sex styles, money, etc), and also with hopes and expectations of how they've always pictured the flawlessness of marriage on Nollywood and Phillipines movies; how people describe the beauty of marriage, and how they've been fantasizing the marriage of other people and thus, short of expections trigger disappointment, irritation, enmity and disinterest among couples.

Most people tend to overlook the flaws (ojukokoro, laziness, self centeredness, promiscuity, gold digging, tendency to become slay queens, ojukokoro, lack of dress sense, lack of respect for your friends and family members, anger problem) of their partners during courtship and will take a bumpy ride into marriage with the ideology that marriage is a "magician" that completely changes or transforms people, without knowing that things sometimes do not happen that way... What you can't change at puberty, a mere RING cannot/may not change it.

Thats why it's said that LOVE is not enough to make someone your life partner, because there are other basic things that should be taken into considerations, and failure to do so makes your marriage vulnerable to chaos and abuse

When people get married, their eyes begin to open to reality after which they will get to realize that they ought to have married someone better, someone that will not hide her character at the expense of getting a RING. They begin to see some flaws in their partner which LOVE/INFATUATION blindfolded them from seeing during courtship

In a nutshell, marriage is an eye opener that opens your eyes from fairytale to reality.

This is not the matter of satan or witches and wizards in your village firing bow and arrow at you


I don't know if my comment makes any sense

2 Likes

Re: Why Do Things Change After Marriage? by Tahtah: 5:18pm On Mar 26, 2017
YourImaginaryBF:
then you try to change them. you don't just call it quits because you don't like somethings about your partner. there's no such thing as a perfect relationship
What if she can't hold body for days, she keeps side men to meet her demand wen you are not around?
Must her man take her to everywhere he goes?
Pls ans me
I know one needs to fix things as a man, no going back
Re: Why Do Things Change After Marriage? by Nobody: 5:19pm On Mar 26, 2017
Tajbol4splend:
I have seen people who claimed to be in love with themselves before marriage but you see them having a lot of disputes after getting married, I ask myself why this should be, I ask if it is still the same two people who used to do things together, who used to show love in different ways, all of a sudden at the time when the love is supposed to be at climax, they start having problems they never used to have before marriage, things then change, they then change.

Well what I think that causes this is that most people in relationships don't pay attention to necessary details about their partners.

Nairaland veterans and geniuses over to you, what do you think brings this bitterness into marriage between two people who have claimed to be lovers before their marriage





I'm not an expert so I don't really know the right answer to this question.


I think it's better for someone to marry one's best friend .
Re: Why Do Things Change After Marriage? by shams040(m): 5:20pm On Mar 26, 2017
Signature
Re: Why Do Things Change After Marriage? by maybrowne(m): 5:21pm On Mar 26, 2017
tosyne2much:
Though, I'm not married neither am I a relationship expert but I think I can answer this question... As per say me sef no be small pikin again nah cheesy

Well, I think people go into marriage for ridiculous reasons (boobs, size of joystick, curves, 6packs, bedmatics skills, money, etc), and also with hopes and expectations of how they've always pictured the flawlessness of marriage on Nollywood and Phillipines movies; how people describe the beauty of marriage, and how they've been fantasizing the marriage of other people and thus, short of expections trigger disappointment, irritation, enmity and disinterest among couples.

Most people tend to overlook the flaws (ojukokoro, laziness, self centeredness, promiscuity, gold digging, tendency to become slay queens, lack of dress sense, lack of respect for your friends and family members, anger problem) of their partners during courtship and will take a bumpy ride into marriage with the ideology that marriage is a "magician" that completely changes or transforms people, without knowing that things sometimes do not happen that way... What you can't change at puberty, a mere RING cannot/may not change it.

Thats why it's said that LOVE is not enough to make someone your life partner, because there are other basic things that should be taken into considerations, and failure to do so makes your marriage vulnerable to chaos and abuse

When people get married, their eyes begin to open to reality after which they will get to realize that they ought to have married someone better, someone that will not hide her character at the expense of getting a RING. They begin to see some flaws in their partner which LOVE/INFATUATION blindfolded them from seeing during courtship

In a nutshell, marriage is an eye opener that opens your eyes from fairytale to reality.

This is not the matter of satan or witches and wizards in your village firing bow and arrow at you


I don't know if my comment makes any sense

Nice one, I will tell pastor to put you in councelling department.
Re: Why Do Things Change After Marriage? by Viking007(m): 5:28pm On Mar 26, 2017
Kentura:
lol.. after marriage, you'll realise you've just been scammed..

1 Like

Re: Why Do Things Change After Marriage? by coltaine(m): 5:33pm On Mar 26, 2017
Lilyqueeny:






I'm not an expert so I don't really know the right answer to this question.


I think it's better for someone to marry one's best friend .


would YOU marry your best friend? cos I believe you guys are too close to date now.....right?
Re: Why Do Things Change After Marriage? by Slapsticker: 5:34pm On Mar 26, 2017
We all shouldn't get married.

Many a number of marriages happened under the coercion of "I have to get married, I have to settle down, Age is no longer on my side, bla bla bla".

Marriage isn't the key to a happy life. Don't attach yours to it.
Re: Why Do Things Change After Marriage? by sheDD(m): 5:35pm On Mar 26, 2017
quote me"....marriage shouldn't be solely built on love at d expense of other factors..........love wanes and fades, when it does u eye go open wide
Re: Why Do Things Change After Marriage? by princessfoluke(f): 5:36pm On Mar 26, 2017
That is when everyone sees clearly meaning you have nothing to hide, also all hidden characters are revealed.
Re: Why Do Things Change After Marriage? by Nobody: 5:39pm On Mar 26, 2017
coltaine:


would YOU marry your best friend? cos I believe you guys are too close to date now.....right?



It's possible my best friend loves someone else
Re: Why Do Things Change After Marriage? by Viking007(m): 5:42pm On Mar 26, 2017
RELAN2446:
Nawao, c reasonable comment. So pple wey gt brain lyk dis dey nairaland. GOD have mercy.
Honestly! cheesy I got tired of liking comments. Every single comment has been a hit; back to back.

4 Likes

Re: Why Do Things Change After Marriage? by Earth2Metahuman: 5:43pm On Mar 26, 2017
shadeyinka:


Would you marry a girl who had lived with three consecutive guys
No 1 guy: 2 years
No 2 guy: 3 years
No 4 guy: 2 years

Is that not 7 years of active prostitution?

Why does a marriage of more than 15 years sometimes breakup? Is it because they didn't live well together?

Follow the rules of Good Marriage and you will most likely have one. God, made those rules.

actually yes I can.

Those who don't live with their boyfriends, do you know how actively they have sex?

Infact, I prefer someone who had lived with 3 different guy all her life to someone who only visits, fhuck actively with different guys.

Atleast he bleeped 3 guys within the period of 7years and not 20 guys in 2 years.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Why Do Things Change After Marriage? by coltaine(m): 5:45pm On Mar 26, 2017
Lilyqueeny:



It's possible my best friend loves someone else
I see you did not get what I meant when I said that
Re: Why Do Things Change After Marriage? by AloyalNigerian(m): 5:46pm On Mar 26, 2017
Kentura:
lol.. after marriage, you'll realise you've just been scammed..

Lol @Tupac line as ya signature. grin

1 Like

Re: Why Do Things Change After Marriage? by Nobody: 5:49pm On Mar 26, 2017
coltaine:
I see you did not get what I meant when I said that

what exactly do you mean
Re: Why Do Things Change After Marriage? by Opakan2: 5:54pm On Mar 26, 2017
All I can say is greed..

most of them aren't contented with what they have.. why you see them acting bitc.hy after 2 - 3 kids looking for flings.
The don't care if they die and their kids become orphans, greed (ojukokoro) will never allow them think
Re: Why Do Things Change After Marriage? by Dindondin(m): 5:57pm On Mar 26, 2017
thesicilian:
Nothing lasts forever, love is not enough to keep a marriage, a couple also has to be compatible in many other aspects
compatible, not compactible
Re: Why Do Things Change After Marriage? by coltaine(m): 6:09pm On Mar 26, 2017
Lilyqueeny:



what exactly do you mean
you mentioned getting married to one's best friend but the excuse you ladies give when your best friend tells you his mind is that you guys re too close to be dating.....

1 Like

Re: Why Do Things Change After Marriage? by Hollasmall: 6:13pm On Mar 26, 2017
As for me all I need is a baby mama no time for stress and headaches from a woman who will later show me her real color after d ring.
Don't want to be scammed.please excuse me I have to chill with my side chicks

Re: Why Do Things Change After Marriage? by Nobody: 6:15pm On Mar 26, 2017
[quote author=coltaine post=54971228]
you mentioned getting married to one's best friend but the excuse you ladies give when your best friend tells you his mind is that you guys re too close to be dating.....[/quote


hmmmm

I quite agree with you but not all ladies

1 Like

Re: Why Do Things Change After Marriage? by kennymotors(m): 6:20pm On Mar 26, 2017
it usually happen when guy intend to chop and lady hook him with pregnant,but if maturity is play they will love each other later,but if
Re: Why Do Things Change After Marriage? by Nobody: 6:23pm On Mar 26, 2017
I think the reasons why THINGS change in marriages most times is because they fail to understand the underlisted factors;

Uniqueness of individual characters, poor communication pattern, withheld emotional expressions, disparity in priorities, unnoticed dissimilarities in personality traits, differences in tolerance levels, pride/ego issues blinded by the eagerness to marry, and maturity level (note; age and maturity isn’t the same) to mention a chunk.

Now, to handle these one needs to be emotionally, mentally/psychologically, financially (at least have an understanding of the role it'll play before and after the kids), also, look out for or HAVE these kindness with humility, sacrifice without expectations, forgiveness regardless of who's wrong or right, apologies without pride, unselfish interests to mention a few.

These among many are the basics of true friendship and a lasting marriage. With total commitment from both parties even when issues abound (they will) resolutions will be easy.

2 Likes

Re: Why Do Things Change After Marriage? by tosyne2much(m): 6:25pm On Mar 26, 2017
maybrowne:


Nice one, I will tell pastor to put you in councelling department.
I go good for that department abi? cheesy

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (Reply)

Father Impregnates Daughter In Nasarawa (Photo) / For Men ONLY: Simple Things You Can Do To Last Longer In Bed / See What This Woman Did To Her Child (photo)

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 73
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.