Fabulocity:
Thaaaaaaaaank you!!!! They keep on quoting gender equality but that shît cannot work in Nigeria! Never!

My dear I'm all for gender equality which is equal opportunities for all irrespective of gender.
This has nothing to do with marriage but societies perception about women general.

Even if they want to bring gender equality into marriage, I each party would still have to play there own respective roles.
For the man it's being the breadwinner.
For the woman it's being the caretaker.
These roles never really change.

mylander:
Please advise.

I was in an employment of a bank until recently when my employment was terminated.

When I had the job, I took my family welfare as my priory. My wife and our only son were faring good, I always ensure we do not lack the basic necessities. Meanwhile, my wife did not have a job then. All the house upkeep expenses including the cost of running her postgraduate program were on me and I felt comfortable bearing the costs as the breadwinner of the family.

After I lost my job in the bank some month ago, my wife got an employment with the state govt. With her little income, she has been able to assist in bearing some expenses, even she pays for fuelling our car sometimes.

The drama has now started in the house and our marriage is on the verge of breaking up.

Any little issue, my wife will turn it to quarrel, different abuses. Funny enough, she would be referring to the financial supports she has been rendering in the house. This is a woman that did not work at all for 2 years and I was bearing all the expenses with pleasure. Now she had only supported me for about 4months now and she's is misbehaving.

To my surprise, my wife maintains a record in which she records every penny she spends in the house including food items and fuel. With this, she always ask me when will I pay him back.

At the instance of a simple argument/misunderstanding, my wife would be boasting of 'I paid for this, I paid for that....' 'If not for my support since you had problem at work......'

Please advise me, I am getting fed-up with the situation, my wife had changed totally.

Women are strange, Mum kept a record of all the money she spent on me in the University, i still love her though. What do you expect your wife to do? Sorry o, try and get a job.

mylander:
Please advise.

I was in an employment of a bank until recently when my employment was terminated.

When I had the job, I took my family welfare as my priory. My wife and our only son were faring good, I always ensure we do not lack the basic necessities. Meanwhile, my wife did not have a job then. All the house upkeep expenses including the cost of running her postgraduate program were on me and I felt comfortable bearing the costs as the breadwinner of the family.

After I lost my job in the bank some month ago, my wife got an employment with the state govt. With her little income, she has been able to assist in bearing some expenses, even she pays for fuelling our car sometimes.

The drama has now started in the house and our marriage is on the verge of breaking up.

Any little issue, my wife will turn it to quarrel, different abuses. Funny enough, she would be referring to the financial supports she has been rendering in the house. This is a woman that did not work at all for 2 years and I was bearing all the expenses with pleasure. Now she had only supported me for about 4months now and she's is misbehaving.

To my surprise, my wife maintains a record in which she records every penny she spends in the house including food items and fuel. With this, she always ask me when will I pay him back.

At the instance of a simple argument/misunderstanding, my wife would be boasting of 'I paid for this, I paid for that....' 'If not for my support since you had problem at work......'

Please advise me, I am getting fed-up with the situation, my wife had changed totally.

Destiny mismatched
If you a Muslim just divorce her
if you are a Christian , carry your cross
if you a traditionalist use your hanky

cococandy:

Definitely I won't be rude to my husband if he loses his job.
I'm not misleading or encouraging anyone to do so.

My husband will also not be selfish enough to leave the breadwinning and homekeeping for me to do all by myself.

If my stand is not clear enough to anyone who's been reading my posts by now, that person either needs to go get a refund from their elementary school or go wash their prejudice from their eyes that's clouding their comprehensive.

It's really simple

same is applicable to u ma. I suggest u go back to school n learn COMPREHENSION in English language. the passage we read according to the OP didn't say THAT THE HUSBAND SELFISHLY LEFT THE BREADWINNING AND HOMEKEEPING DUTIES FOR THE WIFE as u opined rather he lost his job due to circumstances beyond his control not out of his carelessness. Take note. Good morning to u n do have a gr8 day ahead

mylander:
Please advise.

I was in an employment of a bank until recently when my employment was terminated.

When I had the job, I took my family welfare as my priory. My wife and our only son were faring good, I always ensure we do not lack the basic necessities. Meanwhile, my wife did not have a job then. All the house upkeep expenses including the cost of running her postgraduate program were on me and I felt comfortable bearing the costs as the breadwinner of the family.

After I lost my job in the bank some month ago, my wife got an employment with the state govt. With her little income, she has been able to assist in bearing some expenses, even she pays for fuelling our car sometimes.

The drama has now started in the house and our marriage is on the verge of breaking up.

Any little issue, my wife will turn it to quarrel, different abuses. Funny enough, she would be referring to the financial supports she has been rendering in the house. This is a woman that did not work at all for 2 years and I was bearing all the expenses with pleasure. Now she had only supported me for about 4months now and she's is misbehaving.

To my surprise, my wife maintains a record in which she records every penny she spends in the house including food items and fuel. With this, she always ask me when will I pay him back.

At the instance of a simple argument/misunderstanding, my wife would be boasting of 'I paid for this, I paid for that....' 'If not for my support since you had problem at work......'

Please advise me, I am getting fed-up with the situation, my wife had changed totally.

This is what you get when you marry a bad woman. A good woman builds the home.
Don't break your marriage. I strongly belief that your job is on it's way.
Now you have known the kind of woman you married. Goodluck.

TinaAnita:


You couldn't even manage to answer a simple question? No wonder you failed jamb times without number. No woman, I repeat no woman would assume the responsibility of a man for a long period of time without throwing tantrums and let that sink into your empty brain. Anuofia

and 4months is a long period of time? Can u Atleast pretend u have a working thinking faculty madam?

kaziblake:
You are the only sincere lady here,the rest are liars.

by their utterances u shall no them n the stuff they are made off. good morning

Find something to do fast, she only married you for your money.

So get something doing to make more money or she will dump you soon.

Its always good to marry someone who loves you for who you are not what you do for a living.

Learn the lesson and move on.

Collyno82:
by their utterances u shall no them n the stuff they are made off. good morning

Morning and I am only being sincere.

That's ladies for you when things are going well with a man they we behave normal but when things goes wrong then you we see their tru colour both goes to married women and gf even during courtship

I'm sure his shikiny bank job salary deceived him not to look the way of modest ladies when getting married rather he went for a killer slay queen, she is actually a killer not a wife at all.

is in lake:
Morning and I am only being sincere.

are u sure? okay ooh let me take fear believe naw

Hectorsam:
That's ladies for you when things are going well with a man they we behave normal but when things goes wrong then you we see their tru colour both goes to married women and gf even during courtship

I don't like it at all when I hear you guys say that's women for you

No

That's definitely a bad person for you

Anybody who can easily forget whatever good you have done for them in the past and easily turn against you because the goodies are no longer coming or guaranteed is definitely not a person you can have by your side for any reason at all

Don't condone any form of silliness from anybody around you whatsoever

Be ready to correct any form of stupidity as well as selfishness or greed emanating from any woman in your life

You owe the human race that duty

freshvine:


See agony on display.

My dear I don't have anything against your husband or your father, if I ever have anything, it's just pity and concern what they're passing through in the hand of leciferious females in their lives who's out to put them down cos of their emotional baggages.

My trouble is you so that you don't come on this platform to corrupt the virtue of other Godly women with your wicked distractions. You're just one of thousands of female on this platform but I particularly find your contributions satanic and skewed to deride the men. I've male children and I'm praying to mould them into becoming men in the society and not weaklings with disabuse mindsets.

Stop being flagrant and caustic with your submissions.

Remain blessed madam freshvine

Thank you so much for speaking some sense to that bitter woman

Unfortunately, she seems to have gone so far in her tomfoolery so there's every possibility that she won't even be able to understand the point you are trying to make to her

GodsLastBorn:
Did you read what she typed?! Niaj guys are you reading what these girls are typing? OMG just like in America marriage will soon be useless (except for kids) in Nigeria. She typed " IF HE WANTS PEACE IN THIS MARRIAGE HE SHOULD GO AND GET A JOB?!

IF HE WANTS PEACE!!!!!!!! most of you guys better be ready to get a girl that is a little cool headed and impregnate her get your baby, take care of her and baby and live ur life because these girls are just suicide routes for any man. Babymama is going to take over, no way living with a devil.

You see my brother, in this life we live in NOTHING JUST HAPPENS, sometimes God Almighty allows this kind of problems to come up so we can see A clearer picture of who we are and what others will see US as when we no longer operate in levels we once were, so many men who read this will better learn and adjust their thinking and perception of who women are ((NOT ALL WOMEN)) Remember Job's wife in the bible told job to curse God and DIE, indirectly telling Job that he IS a curse, can u imagine, the same God that gave u riches, THAT God placed Job in such a mess did Not mean he will not restore him. Thank God we all learn everyday from other people predicaments and on this forum what people would voice out for others to consume, I KNOW that young man will be restored back to his feet again and so many who are currently passing through the valley right now. This too SHALL PASS.

Sorry for the lost of your job bro, this is actually part of the problem every struggling guys are facing. Your woman should be your friend, confidant and mostly helper in most daring situation. Your story is jus like a story of a man leaving a flat close to mine, he lost his banking job this year January so the family now depend on the small shop he opened for the wife outside the aos and now that he has lost his job the wife turned him to an errand boy she will insult him at every slight provocation and this still continues..... I jus hope our women can realise the pain men face when situation like this happen losing a job is lot of psychological problem for man a good woman should be there to encourage, intercede in prayers for the husband and help him through good advice..... And for her to be keeping bills of what u both spent it's wrong every sane person won't pay a dime when things finally start picking up u will sure get over it bro good luck.

OP Sorry about the job ish, I would advise you if you are a Christian to seek the face of God in prayer this period, let her know you are not staying idle, comfort her too don't just wear a long face all day, join in the house chores and care for your Son. In the Bible Job faced more than this and we saw the attitude of his wife. Naturally Women cannot handle so much burden and everyone has their breaking point.

Secondly, if you wedded in church, try to get her in a good mood to read the wedding program I do that once a while, Infact one of the day I read it, the phrase "Forsaking all others" struck me like I didn't see it on my wedding day.

Finally I hope you weren't always rubbing it in her face the period she was jobless, if you did that then this is your own Karma.

*You know the true character of a man when he's in money and a woman when there's none*

Modified...I would have said you should buy rabbits and rare but trust women, she may use that one to abuse you ehnn, so a job seems feasible cos it seems that's why she married you... Security.

mylander:
Please advise.

I was in an employment of a bank until recently when my employment was terminated.

When I had the job, I took my family welfare as my priory. My wife and our only son were faring good, I always ensure we do not lack the basic necessities. Meanwhile, my wife did not have a job then. All the house upkeep expenses including the cost of running her postgraduate program were on me and I felt comfortable bearing the costs as the breadwinner of the family.

After I lost my job in the bank some month ago, my wife got an employment with the state govt. With her little income, she has been able to assist in bearing some expenses, even she pays for fuelling our car sometimes.

The drama has now started in the house and our marriage is on the verge of breaking up.

Any little issue, my wife will turn it to quarrel, different abuses. Funny enough, she would be referring to the financial supports she has been rendering in the house. This is a woman that did not work at all for 2 years and I was bearing all the expenses with pleasure. Now she had only supported me for about 4months now and she's is misbehaving.

To my surprise, my wife maintains a record in which she records every penny she spends in the house including food items and fuel. With this, she always ask me when will I pay him back.

At the instance of a simple argument/misunderstanding, my wife would be boasting of 'I paid for this, I paid for that....' 'If not for my support since you had problem at work......'

Please advise me, I am getting fed-up with the situation, my wife had changed totally.

My brother we are on the same page, I lost my job last year and it'sbeen from one quarrel to another, she tells everybody in the community and her family about the financial assistance she renders at home, she has left for her sister's place with my kid. My brother please just be patient with her so that you won't be traumatized emotionally. It's not palatable. It will end in praise.

RaggedyAnn:



These are the repercussions that may result when one operates under the delusion that love will resolve all issues when they eventually arise. Marriage is real; it's not a fairy tale. When the honeymoon is over, the problems that you face can reveal the worst versions of either couple. So, people should do themselves a favor by ensuring they make pragmatic decisions when choosing a mate. There's a thin line between love and hate.

Finance (and the structure of it) is a real issue that must be considered well in advance. It wasn't in this case. She didn't see past the bank job to look for the 'attributes' (as per other thread) in her man, and he married her when she was not contributing financially, probably believing he would be the sole provider. They both took it for granted. Now the man is realizing his wife is unwilling to contribute without keeping a register, and the woman is realizing that that the man did not have the foresight to save or diversify (in two years, no savings) in order to protect his family from this. Bad decisions have led them to this point. But I'm not going to keep beating a dead horse.

The woman might disrespect him now because he isn't contributing financially, or because she doesn't want him to get comfortable while she provides for the family. Making the conditions unbearable for him might be a way of lighting a fire under his arse. This is an explanation not a justification. This might explain the register as well. She may never have the intention to collect. But it's clear that his marriage is structured according to the old traditions where the man must provide for his family. But that was his choice. He can't now pick and choose female emancipation whenever it suits him.

There isn't much he can do now, except try to find a new job or start up a business. After he gets one, he should speak seriously with his wife structuring their respective financial commitments. She won't listen to him now.

You started well but ended badly...50% agreement


THIS IS SPECULATIVE



that that the man did not have the foresight to save or diversify (in two years, no savings) in order to protect his family from this. Bad decisions have led them to this point.

chibuzorAbia:


I as a man cannot fend for a healthy unhadicapped woman! I only reserve my resources for ME, me only!

Good for you bro. I am a proponent of War against laziness.

hmmm

Rossikki:


Your logic is based on sheer wickedness and thoughtlessness. What if the man falls sick and cannot work? What if he's in business and govt seizes his goods? In life anything can happen. What is the point of marriage vows made before God - ''For richer for poorer, in sickness and in health''?

Is that just another meaningless phrase done on a wedding day? If it is, then why bother saying it, and lying to God? Instead of lying before your maker, simply remove those words and state the truth, ie ''If he's rich we will be fine, but if he's not, I cannot stand him.'' Why lie?

Women need to understand that there is more to life than money. Love, commitment, honour, loyalty, selflessness MATTER, or we are little more than wild animals in the bush.

Well spoken. Don't mind @Yellow because most men don't reason with their brain but their anus.

Op lost his job and then? Must he kill or steal to take care of his family's need? He had job and everything was moving on fine and later he lost his job and the wife started acting. That is women for you. 90% of women are wicked in nature even from the time of Adam and Eve. If your partner is having financial issues, the other should come in and help without raising issues up.Partners should pray and encourage each other in order for God to intervene.Only few women are virtues in nature and are very rear to come by. Only God can give you a real woman. When you look at 90% of ladies these days, their taught are centered on material things hence they even start sleeping outside while married just to collect money.

FortuneTeller:


Worry about your girlfriend who is stripping for men in the name of "medical checkups". Men like you don't even see what is before then. They come here shouting only to end up with what they thought they were avoiding. Another man is poking a woman you've been dating for months and you come with this rubbish. Work hard, make money and face your life.

lol lmao good, even if she was my gf I'm not married yet and will always pray that ur kind never cones near my radar.

YelloweWest:
Op I'll be honest with u.
It is a man's responsibility to provide for his family.
It is a woman's responsibility to take care of the home and kids.
Anything that alters this position will definitely bring friction in the home.

If you want your marriage to work u need to see things from your partner standpoint.
You said when u were working u took care of your family, however u didn't give any details of such care the way u detailed your wifes misbehaviour.

I seriously doubt ur story Mr.

Are you telling me you didn't see the part where he financed her entire post graduate education?

The wife was jobless up untill recently so you dont need to ask him to give details of what he did since it is obvious he did everything!

sonnie10:



And your name is Matthew. Bros fear God

honestly... Mathew is not my name plus the email too not mine.

FortuneTeller:



May God help his wife!!!!

Amen... I'm single anyway and I'm not going to hurt my wife no matter what...there's a good occult out there... Keep going in a circle... You will realize the truth later in life.

Rolly83:
I really feel your pain bro.But from what I deduce from your write-up I can tell u boldly that she doesn't love u!!! It's a hard fact to accept!! But that's the truth...To her you are irritating and a liability!! Please please if you can try to see if u can start something(maybe a business) until you're able to get another job.

Many of you have the misconception that if a lady ''loves'' you she will take everything from you. That's a fallacy of the highest order. Marriage is what opens the eyes of many. The lady gets used to everything that attracted her to you, and the whole thing turns boring and she starts seeing other dudes with better qualities.

Don't be surprised the lady was madly inlove before marriage.

Zilifish:
Op. I am in ur shoes. I got axed from the bank 6months ago and im newly married. I am applying to migtate with my wife to canada to start a new life. For now I invest in bitcoins thru some online investment sites and ponzi and during the day I registered my car on taxify.

If im too lazy i earn 40k weekly after fuelling and I get middle man jobs from companies for my friend who designs website. Baba abeg roll ur sleeves. My customers even like me cos im cute and fresh with 2008 muscle on taxify lol.

I have no paid job but my wife is not feeling it. She doesnt work too. My folks give me money once in a while to encourage me. I didnt tell dem i drive uber sha. Alaye double your hustle o. Im still job hunting and pushing for my canada immigration visa. Shalom!

how can I register my car on taxify

SmartyPants:


Are you telling me you didn't see the part where he financed her entire post graduate education?

The wife was jobless up untill recently so you dont need to ask him to give details of what he did since it is obvious he did everything!

My point is I just disagree when I spouse paints his or herself like an innocent victim and there other half like a wicked witch.
I'm sure we'll get a different story if we hear from the wife.

Amhappy:


Good for you bro. I am a proponent of War against laziness.

Anybody that worked in a bank for 2 years is not lazy, moreover the man is only out of job for just 4 F.ucking months. So when does not securing another Job after 4 months becomes laziness? When he foot her bills and education for 2 years he is a sweet husband, now he is lazy? Women are just silly with fish brain

freshvine:


You're a bitter woman. Your husband must be suffering emotionally... don't tell me he's a rare specie drop from heaven

Madam you're the one who sounds bitter. The lady said the truth. If the man can no longer provide financially, he should at least ensure he relives his wife of some Street by taking up house chores.

The primary role for the man is to be the breadwinner while the woman is the caretaker.
If for any reason he can't provide what's wrong with taking care of his FAMILY and household?

Jman06:
Many of you have the misconception that if a lady ''loves'' you she will take everything from you. That's a fallacy of the highest order. Marriage is what opens the eyes of many. The lady gets used to everything that attracted her to you, and the whole thing turns boring and she starts seeing other dudes with better qualities.

Don't be surprised the lady was madly inlove before marriage.

It's not a misconception,its a fact!!! Look when you love someone(weather man or woman) you're ready to share n comfort your loved ones both in sickness n health,in riches n difficulty. That's the way it is.... If u like believe it or not.. That's the plain truth.

jaychubi:


Lol u are simply a proper goat, all love is conditional on finance

You daft for calling me that!!! It's not a misconception,its a fact!!! Look when you love someone(weather man or woman) you're ready to share n comfort your loved ones both in sickness n health,in riches n difficulty. That's the way it is.... If u like believe it or not.. That's the plain truth.