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Today's Experience Changed My View On Domestic Violence - Family (9) - Nairaland

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Kenny Kehinde's Girlfriend, Precious Chisom Accuses Him Of Domestic Violence / How Pregnancy Changed My Wife / Pastor Michale Matthew: "I Dumped My Marriage Over Domestic Violence" (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Today's Experience Changed My View On Domestic Violence by Nobody: 8:56pm On Sep 17, 2017
Very silly thread that makes it look like men are angels in marriages. While there are women with caustic mouths, there are men wired like that too.

My husband's mouth is corrosive, his subordinates once asked how I cope. He came back asking me if his mouth is that bad.
Something he inherited from his father.

Maybe I should start dishing him one or two slaps.

Any sensible married person knows how to tactically handle his or her spouse. Majority of people commenting are obviously not married. Silly thread once again.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Today's Experience Changed My View On Domestic Violence by imam07: 9:00pm On Sep 17, 2017
One of my junior brother's friend came to me and said bros,I want to marry next year. I started begging him please don't marry. Aburo I beg don't marry. It mite sound funny but it's not. If u want to die young go and marry a bad wife. Even if u don't smoke,drink,flirt. Your wife will still find your trouble.
My advice to new husbands is don't be to soft for or to your wife because if u do.

3 Likes

Re: Today's Experience Changed My View On Domestic Violence by stilldoingokay(f): 9:00pm On Sep 17, 2017
betty616:
We ladies should mind our mouth. Just as we expect a man to have self control not to hit us, we should also have self control when it comes to talking to men and daring them. Weaker vessels or not, we both should respect each other.


you're the only one that make sense here
thanks

2 Likes

Re: Today's Experience Changed My View On Domestic Violence by VicStix: 9:01pm On Sep 17, 2017
Evaberry:
very few men are victims of domestic violence. Women always bear the brunt of a man's anger


No matter what a woman says or does, a man should never hit her, a man is physically stronger than a woman so hitting her will inflict serious physical damage, whereas a woman may not cause any real harm to a man.

Op the husband in your write Up should have quietly left the compound and go relax somewhere until he was sure his wife had calmed down. when a woman is angry she throws all reason and caution to the wind, it therefore falls on the man to be understanding and reasonable


Engaging in a fisticuffs with a woman is wrong and should be condemned.

I wonder why it's always the man that is expected to control his emotions, take a walk or drive, do anything to calm the situation but hit on the woman. Why do we not have an equal campaign for women to control their mouths and maintain peace? No man with accurate self knowledge should accept that kind of dishonor. How he responds is his choice and we can always disagree or agree with that choice but no man should accept that. We cannot solve the problem of domestic violence with gender sentiments, our approach must be holistic.

7 Likes

Re: Today's Experience Changed My View On Domestic Violence by HeWrites(m): 9:05pm On Sep 17, 2017
TheKingIsHere:
Just like that? cheesy


Like that bro cool

Re: Today's Experience Changed My View On Domestic Violence by HeWrites(m): 9:07pm On Sep 17, 2017
GAZZUZZ:

dont mind him, hewrites wink

2 Likes

Re: Today's Experience Changed My View On Domestic Violence by johnson232: 9:08pm On Sep 17, 2017
HaneefahRN:
Didn't read the story.
I know it will be a stupid excuse to justify domestic violence.
Stop jumping into hasty conclusion & read the story
According to report Nigerian men are loving & peaceful men compared to other parts of the world....

2 Likes

Re: Today's Experience Changed My View On Domestic Violence by HeWrites(m): 9:08pm On Sep 17, 2017
GAZZUZZ:

dont mind him, hewrites wink

Re: Today's Experience Changed My View On Domestic Violence by thorpido(m): 9:09pm On Sep 17, 2017
Bluffly:

Why would you say it is common with men because they are physically strong. Please implore some reasonings before making comments
Do you even need reasoning with this?It's elementary statistics.
Re: Today's Experience Changed My View On Domestic Violence by Nobody: 9:11pm On Sep 17, 2017
tosyne2much:
I felt so depressed reading this story because I have also experienced a similar thing.

Right from a relationship, you can easily know a woman with domestic violence tendencies when a little quarrel ensues between the both of you. Some women are just very rude, arrogant and insultive that they don't mind disgracing you in the presence of neighbours, friends and enemies. However, some of them will bring you into a fiddle and at the end of the day, you will still receive the blame being the stronger vessel

Many people are quickly to lay both the blame and accusations on men especially when it has to do with domestic violence while the woman is showered with sympathy.

There is nothing that can ever be said to justify the act of a verbally and physically aggressive woman


It pays to be devious at times. U don't have to fight someone to hurt them. You just mind your business, forgive them, if they don't back off, lay them on the path to destruction.
Re: Today's Experience Changed My View On Domestic Violence by imam07: 9:11pm On Sep 17, 2017
PaperLace:
Very silly thread that makes it look like men are angels in marriages. While there are women with caustic mouths, there are men wired like that too.

My husband's mouth is corrosive, his subordinates once asked how I cope. He came back asking me if his mouth is that bad.
Something he inherited from his father.

Maybe I should start dishing him one or two slaps.

Any sensible married person knows how to tactically handle his or her spouse. Majority of people commenting are obviously not married. Silly thread once again.
What u have just displayed here has showed u are a problem to your husband.No matter how your husband is corrosive,a good and humble wife will calm him down.
It shows here u are proud and not submissive to him.
It is easy for a good wife to maintain and manage a stubborn husband but very difficult for a man to manage an evil wife.
Yes, I agree some men are to be blame for domestic violence. An act must ignite a violence which is always cause by women. Some women can abuse anything.

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: Today's Experience Changed My View On Domestic Violence by imam07: 9:12pm On Sep 17, 2017
PaperLace:
Very silly thread that makes it look like men are angels in marriages. While there are women with caustic mouths, there are men wired like that too.

My husband's mouth is corrosive, his subordinates once asked how I cope. He came back asking me if his mouth is that bad.
Something he inherited from his father.

Maybe I should start dishing him one or two slaps.

Any sensible married person knows how to tactically handle his or her spouse. Majority of people commenting are obviously not married. Silly thread once again.
Re: Today's Experience Changed My View On Domestic Violence by Nobody: 9:13pm On Sep 17, 2017
imam07:
What u have just displayed here has showed u are a problem to your husband.No matter how your husband is corrosive,a good and humble wife will calm him down.
It shows here u are proud and not submissive to him.
It is easy for a good wife to maintain and manage a stubborn husband but very difficult for a man to manage an evil wife.
Yes, I agree some men are to be blame for domestic violence. An act must ignite a violence which is always cause by women. Some women can abuse anything.

Of course I have to be the problem and he is a saint. Going by your wack logic, this man is obviously his wife's problem. Why is no one advising him to calm her down?

Always caused by women my foot.
Tell that to the unmarried and stupid people.
I'm none of the above.

1 Like

Re: Today's Experience Changed My View On Domestic Violence by johnson232: 9:13pm On Sep 17, 2017
PaperLace:
Very silly thread that makes it look like men are angels in marriages. While there are women with caustic mouths, there are men wired like that too.

My husband's mouth is corrosive, his subordinates once asked how I cope. He came back asking me if his mouth is that bad.
Something he inherited from his father.

Maybe I should start dishing him one or two slaps.

Any sensible married person knows how to tactically handle his or her spouse. Majority of people commenting are obviously not married. Silly thread once again.
@bold This is how u go about bad mouthing your innocent & caring husband....

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: Today's Experience Changed My View On Domestic Violence by johnson232: 9:17pm On Sep 17, 2017
PaperLace:


Of course I have to be the problem and he is a saint. Going by your wack logic, this man is obviously his wife's problem. Why is no one advising him to calm her down?

Always caused my women my foot.
Tell that to the unmarried and stupid people.
I'm none of the above.
You read the story so?

1 Like

Re: Today's Experience Changed My View On Domestic Violence by Nobody: 9:18pm On Sep 17, 2017
johnson232:

@bold This is how u go about bad mouthing your innocent & caring husband....

I will always say it, my husband is a nice man. I have never faulted that, point is _he has a bad mouth! That's the truth that he knows. I have also shared how I contained his bad mouth,without violence.

I remember how you jumped on that comment like you sighted an anticipated prey. You never applauded that, instead you lashed out at me for encouraging the guy to be patient with his wife. I remember how I was a role model wife that day, because I didn't dish him one or two slaps.

Now you are on this one again. Stop mas/tur/bating to my comment. It's irritating.

johnson232:

You read the story so?

Answer this question yourself. You have a penchant for typing before understanding.

1 Like

Re: Today's Experience Changed My View On Domestic Violence by Nobody: 9:18pm On Sep 17, 2017
greenguy:
A good lesson Mr. Poster. Experience they say is the best teacher. It is easy for listeners to judge the man and say 'real men don't lay their hands on women'.

Men are humans too with different level of tolerance to provocations. I once had a neighbour with similar traits who genuinely enjoyed humiliating her husband and publicly reminded him of how poor and miserable he is, how incapable he is as a man and her plans to abandon him for a 'real man'. She'd throw things at the man and pour water at him. She also bedded almost all the young men in the compound at the time. What a gentle man the man was. I remember the man reacting to her provocation one day with a divine slap and she fainted on the spot.

She eventually left her two kids for the man and left to her lover's. She died of HIV some years later.

I have learnt that some people are devils incarnate.

I won't be surprised if she was a demon possessed fellow responsible for the man's misfortunes. I've been there before, one year after leaving that whatever, my life just click. I know what I'm talking about.
Re: Today's Experience Changed My View On Domestic Violence by tosyne2much(m): 9:18pm On Sep 17, 2017
magicfingers009:
People saying no matter what a woman does, a man should never hit her have not met mad women.
I've seen a neighbour's wife bring out a kitchen knife after having verbal insults with the husband, and it seemed as though the husband was winning the verbal fight. She brought out the knife to stab the man. Should the man remain calm and keep running to avoid being stabbed? Or beat the devil out of that woman?

Never judge a domestic violence case without hearing from the two parties or experiencing it forehand.
I have also seen a case when a woman in my street broke a dish (plate) on the husband's head during a quarrel and the man was rushed to the hospital. The funniest was that this woman was not remorseful at all as she kept saying she would do more than that

1 Like

Re: Today's Experience Changed My View On Domestic Violence by Nobody: 9:20pm On Sep 17, 2017
tosyne2much:
I have also seen a case when a woman in my street broke a dish (plate) on the husband's head during a quarrel and the man was rushed to the hospital. The funniest was that this woman was not remorseful at all as she kept saying she would do more than that

You always see women doing bad.
I ask you again, do you ever see men do bad?
Re: Today's Experience Changed My View On Domestic Violence by Youngsage: 9:20pm On Sep 17, 2017
Evaberry:
very few men are victims of domestic violence. Women always bear the brunt of a man's anger


No matter what a woman says or does, a man should never hit her, a man is physically stronger than a woman so hitting her will inflict serious physical damage, whereas a woman may not cause any real harm to a man.

Op the husband in your write Up should have quietly left the compound and go relax somewhere until he was sure his wife had calmed down. when a woman is angry she throws all reason and caution to the wind, it therefore falls on the man to be understanding and reasonable


Engaging in a fisticuffs with a woman is wrong and should be condemned.

So what about a woman's anger? Who is affected?
I'm not in support of physical violence in anyway but going through what you put up there, i'm sorry to say majority of it is crap.

2 Likes

Re: Today's Experience Changed My View On Domestic Violence by bayulll011(m): 9:21pm On Sep 17, 2017
Ayinke93:
I don't judge men that get physical with thier wives until I hear the man's side of d story.. I'm a lady and I'm saying this from my heart.
I grew up having first hand experience of my mum insulting my dad badly, her mouth is very sharp and she insults and slaps him at the slightest provocation. Infact there are times I get very angry and talk to her badly. I grew up seeing my mum very rude and it had a bad influence on our relationship... Even till now, we are not close at all. Although the all scenario made me grow up to be more reasonable with handling issues with men, but it has as some bad influence on me... Sometimes I tend to shout at my bf because that was the only means of communication I saw my mother use growing up..
Women should be calm and learn to briddle your tongues.. My parents are still married today all because of my dad.. He's the calm one but my mom is a story for another day.
Till date I'm still work in progress when it comes to handling issues because I learnt everything I know about character and manners outside home.. Thanks to the good friends I made in school.
A woman should be an home keeper... Men don't just beat unless something triggers them.. Unless of course u married a psycho.


I love your honesty.

remember you're not your mother.

always keep room for improvement.

I see you going high and doing wonders.

this is a reasonable and responsible woman

9 Likes

Re: Today's Experience Changed My View On Domestic Violence by tosyne2much(m): 9:22pm On Sep 17, 2017
lozanni:


Sexual frustration has really set in for the woman. This might really be what is causing her anger, as the husband is not satisfying her sexually, she lost total control and went on an uncontrollable rant and was abusing her husband. I wonder if she is experiencing a hormonal imbalance, estrogen, somewhat like the hen that chases away another hen that is lying on top of eggs it had laid, just to claim it.

The woman should have sat with her husband to discuss the above issue, as things like fruits (carrots, bananas, date palm, plaintain), good excersise(jogging, skipping, lifting little weights), good pre-intimacy and sexual technique can help him overcome the problem of weak sexual performance.
The above is true for most couples as they, always fail to discuss their sex lives, which is very important.
Hahaha cheesy

Re: Today's Experience Changed My View On Domestic Violence by prestigiouslady: 9:24pm On Sep 17, 2017
If verbal or emotional abuse should automatically gets one the physical abuse lesson... what happens to men that verbally abuse their wives??
I'm not in any way supporting the woman, what she did was bad but you can't really say what had happened inside the four walls of their home...a lot might have happened.
My ex used to tell me I can never amount to anything, simply because I had an extra year in school, he said i was useless and the only reason why he's with me was cos we are married.
I stopped breastfeeding my baby exclusively at 5months cos I couldnt cope, he told me to my face I've failed at motherhood,I can't even get it right with my son.
it was tough cos he used a lot of abusive words on me..but the day I was so angry and told him he was "stupid and selfish" the whole country knew how his wife was disrespectful and abused him..I don't talk, but once I'm pushed to the wall(it takes a very long time for me to lose my cool), better run cos I'll bring it all out
I looked down on myself a lot then but today here I am..thank God...

A lot happens behind closed doors between husbands and wife, the Angel you see might be a beast in the closet

no one deserves to be abused physically, emotionally, verbally... if it isn't working, take a walk

#personal opinion #

3 Likes

Re: Today's Experience Changed My View On Domestic Violence by tosyne2much(m): 9:24pm On Sep 17, 2017
myking95:


It pays to be devious at times. U don't have to fight someone to hurt them. You just mind your business, forgive them, if they don't back off, lay them on the path to destruction.
That's it bro
Re: Today's Experience Changed My View On Domestic Violence by stilldoingokay(f): 9:25pm On Sep 17, 2017
ayokellany:


So when your father n mother argues na your papa de leave house for your mama ? Na your mother de pay house rent abi na she build una house ? Just asking o.


you know such thin happen in american, so she is expecting the same thin to happen in Nigeria here,
Re: Today's Experience Changed My View On Domestic Violence by johnson232: 9:26pm On Sep 17, 2017
PaperLace:


I will always say it, my husband is a nice man. I have never faulted that, point is _he has a bad mouth! That's the truth that he knows. I have also shared how I contained his bad mouth,without violence.

I remember how you jumped on that comment like you sighted an anticipated prey. You never applauded that, instead you lashed out at me for encouraging the guy to be patient with his wife. I remember how all I was a role model wife that day, because I didn't dish him one or two slaps.

Now you are on this one again. Stop mas/tur/bating to my comment. It's irritating.
.
Your husband has a bad mouth! What of u?
I don't need any prophet to tell me your hubby is a good man
I guess u have a good mouth?

8 Likes

Re: Today's Experience Changed My View On Domestic Violence by tosyne2much(m): 9:26pm On Sep 17, 2017
PaperLace:


You always see women doing bad.
I ask you again, do you ever see men do bad?
Doing bad is not gender specific, so men also do bad too

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Today's Experience Changed My View On Domestic Violence by bayulll011(m): 9:28pm On Sep 17, 2017
imam07:
What u have just displayed here has showed u are a problem to your husband.No matter how your husband is corrosive,a good and humble wife will calm him down.
It shows here u are proud and not submissive to him.
It is easy for a good wife to maintain and manage a stubborn husband but very difficult for a man to manage an evil wife.
Yes, I agree some men are to be blame for domestic violence. An act must ignite a violence which is always cause by women. Some women can abuse anything.

we don't need any sooth sayer tell us this one is an accursed woman.

I really pity that poor man,can u notice how he killed the man psychologically with her words.

women am scared to get married now.

3 Likes

Re: Today's Experience Changed My View On Domestic Violence by Nobody: 9:29pm On Sep 17, 2017
johnson232:

Your husband has a bad mouth! What of u?
I don't need any prophet to tell me your hubby is a good man
I guess u have a good mouth?



Ask that question to the man in the story.
His wife is obviously verbally/physically abusive _what of him?

My dear Johnson, you're not worth the time.
Re: Today's Experience Changed My View On Domestic Violence by joinnow: 9:30pm On Sep 17, 2017
wife refused to let him in. She insisted that he must go and washhis feet thoroughly before entering the house, but there was no water outside anymore.

One of the symptoms of Depression(wife)
Not necessarily sign of being clean.
Re: Today's Experience Changed My View On Domestic Violence by Daeylar(f): 9:30pm On Sep 17, 2017
PaperLace:


You always see women doing bad.
I ask you again, do you ever see men do bad?

You even have their time
Is it not nairaland again?

Anyways I do not support any kind of abuse either physical, emotional, verbal but the fact that someone abused you verbally should never make you resort to physical abuse, never, walk away, find a way to deal with it, but never ever physical abuse, so all these useless excuses they keep coming up with, they can keep to themselves.

And if someone ever lays a hand on you (male or female), you can always fight back, damn what societal rules say, after all, it's self defence.

I don't subscribe to this men are bad or women are bad trash which it seems like nairaland wants to perpetuate
It's individuals themselves, people, who are bad, a whole gender should never be labelled because of the actions of silly people.
Re: Today's Experience Changed My View On Domestic Violence by Angelovic96: 9:33pm On Sep 17, 2017
[quote author=Evaberry post=60549430]very few men are victims of domestic violence. Women always bear the brunt of a man's anger


No matter what a woman says or does, a man should never hit her, a man is physically stronger than a woman so hitting her will inflict serious physical damage, whereas a woman may not cause any real harm to a man.

Op the husband in your write Up should have quietly left the compound and go relax somewhere until he was sure his wife had calmed down. when a woman is angry she throws all reason and caution to the wind, it therefore falls on the man to be understanding and reasonable


Engaging in a fisticuffs with a woman is wrong and should be condemned.

what if he comes back and the same thing(the lady starts assaulting him) repeats its self again. this time the man will run away to no man's land abi?

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