Rapmoney:
When did Otedola and your said Cosmos marry? Was it few years ago or decades ago? You guys have failed to align things with the present. Don't be living in the past. When I was growing up, I saw my uncles and other elderly ones who didn't have much, living in one room apartments, but they had very lovely relationships. Some even got married to their girlfriends even if they had little. Can you equate that with what we see today? That's where I want you to understand this post from.

The two example I gave married when they were nothing. At the time wealth came they were sure of what they had as wives. They already had this security that no matter what; she can't leave me if my shares in the stock market plummets. Would you say same if you happen to marry a lady you're not sure of where her loyalty lies if you're rich?.

AlmiqhteeAllah:
Although, I disagree with your post in its entirety, I'm quoting this particular part because it's extremely ridiculous and nonsensical. Where did you get the figures, the statistics, the evidence, to make you confident enough to make this absurd claim? Where, when, and how did you conduct your survey? You're just saying nonsense to support your own beliefs, conjuring up hogwash for your own ends. The opposite might even be actually true, since the United States seems to have higher divorce rate than countries where the poverty rate is higher.

Haven said that, these kind of write-ups are ridiculous and one-dimensional rubbish that judge all relationships by a one-size-fits-all standard, ignoring the reality that people have different motivations in life, as well as different reasons for falling in love. So many factors contribute to attraction as well as break-ups that there's barely any consistent way of determining what to rule out or what not when making such considerations as this. Relationships are dialectical, "grey" systems, not some 1 + 1 = 2, simple, straightforward, binary system that you can analyse using Aristotelian logic. Your write-up is flawed.

And, viewing it from a different perspective, you seem to have the wrong idea about love and loyalty. If you make something as uncertain and unstable as money and finance the pillar of a relationship, what happens when conditions change? You might be poor today, only to become rich tomorrow. The person who is wealthy now, can go bankrupt the next minute and end up in penury, due to circumstances over which he has no control. So, what happens then? The "loyal" and "loving" partner abandons him to his fate?

Stop acting as if you have been programmed automatically misjudge opinions! I didn't say money is a bedrock of finding the 'right' partner or one who loves you 'genuinely'. What I'm saying is that success gives you a wider range to your choice of women. Everyone knows what he/she wants in another. On another note, I'm telling you that lack of money will do more harm than good in an affair. Take that to the bank! Everyones wants their future to be secured. Don't hate them.

RuthDaniels:
Lol! There is no definite pattern of how life works, Your opinion although somewhat right remains an opinion and not a fact.

I laugh when I see guys encourage themselves to get rich and watch ladies flock around them. Yes, they will come, but 99% would be materialistic, gold digging bunch. One thing guys need to get straight is, Money does not attract love. Money attracts fans but not friends, lust but not love. The richer you get, the lesser your chances of getting True Love.

Rich or poor, express your feelings to whomever you are attracted to. You are either accepted or rejected, it's not the end of life, but another junction to turn a corner.

On a scale of 1-100, what's your choose/chances of finding true love in this current society/era/country

Rapmoney:
Stop acting as if you have been programmed automatically misjudge opinions! I didn't say money is a bedrock of finding the 'right' partner or one who loves you 'genuinely'. What I'm saying is that success gives you a wider range to your choice of women. Everyone knows what he/she wants in another. On another note, I'm telling you that lack of money will do more harm than good in an affair. Take that to the bank! Everyones wants their future to be secured. Don't hate them.

Don't mind that almightyallah guy, someone vexed him this morning

LoL

AlmiqhteeAllah:
Lol. Vexed keh?

Eh naw

Besides, the op is right.
He's sharing his own personal opinion with us, of which I support.

The write up above is like anti-tithing and pro-tithing disagreement. Most tithers would never see anything wrong in tithing despite the points on ground.

Same way some broke guys would disagree with the write-up

Benita27:
The two example I gave married when they were nothing. At the time wealth came they were sure of what they had as wives. They already had this security that no matter what; she can't leave me if my shares in the stock market plummets. Would you say same if you happen to marry a lady you're not sure of where her loyalty lies if you're rich?.

I can't argue with you whether they married when they were nothing or somebody. What you should tell me is what period did they get married because I'm very sure it wasn't recently.

Most people that hold this opinion of yours will swiftly show their hypocritical nature if I ask them to support their sisters to marry a broke dude. Watch how they will change opinions like chameleons!

It's a silly mentality that all women are after money. Very silly one. Truth is we see the ones that are after money everyother day. They are the prostitutes, the chronic runs girls or the serial adulterer. It may occur to a woman to date a guy or some man because of money but it doesn't mean all she wants is money. There are girls that have had something to do with one two or three men because of money, that doesn't mean they are "money lovers". Just like a young guy may be forced to do some youthful ills at the adolescent/ youthful stage.- call it juvenille deliquencies. There is every tendency it happens, however we can caution and help our children. Now, the money lovers as mentioned above are never satisfied. There is no amount of money a guy gives them that can satisfy them. Thats why some get into relationships they cheat because of money or whatever reasons.
Every woman needs money just like a man needs money. I have had personal experiences with the two classes of women and I tell you, you don't need to be extra rich to find true love, you just need to be financially Ok with ambition. It will come!

Rapmoney:

Most people that hold this opinion of yours will swiftly show their hypocritical nature if I ask them to support their sisters to marry a broke dude. Watch how they will change opinions like chameleons!

Lmaoooooooo

You're bad ooo

LoL

adepeter2027:

On a scale of 1-100, what's your choose/chances of finding true love in this current society/era/country

They won't give you a concrete answer because their opinions are filled with hypocrisy and running away from the truth.

looney:
nice write up Op, one thing most people overlook ''financial compatibility'' and ''so that financial appreciation could be a mutual thing''.

Nigerian girls on understand this when they nearing 35 and village people or parents are chasing them.

The post is for men, made by a man for men, but you couldn't hold yourself, if you don't say nonsense to bash Nigerian women for no reason you won't have peace.

Rapmoney:
Stop acting as if you have been programmed automatically misjudge opinions! I didn't say money is a bedrock of finding the 'right' partner or one who loves you 'genuinely'.

Oh, I misjudged you! Sorry for using the word, "pillar".

You made the statements below. I believe they must have something to do with "what you were really talking about":

The number of marriages or homes that get broken every now and then in our society due to lack of money far outnumbers the number that get broken due to the existence of money and much money.

Rapmoney:
Lack of money does more damage to your affair than the presence of it. How do you get loyalty when you are broke? By the way, anyone can jump from one person to another.

I take it that these statements imply that you believe finance to be the MOST IMPORTANT THING in a relationship, if not the pillar. Am I wrong? If yes, explain to me, what other belief could have made you say such things.

What I'm saying is that success gives you a wider range to your choice of women.

Any evidence to back up this claim?

Everyone knows what he/she wants in another.

....... And this destroys your argument.

On another note, I'm telling you that lack of money will do more harm than good in an affair. Take that to the bank! Everyones wants their future to be secured. Don't hate them.

You seek employment for financial security, not marriage. Marriage entails far more than that.

---

Tozara

majekdom2:
...you don't need to be extra rich to find true love, you just need to be financially Ok with ambition. It will come!

What else can I say when you have almost committed the fallacy of begging a question - petitio principi?

adepeter2027:

Eh naw

Besides, the op is right.
He's sharing his own personal opinion with us, of which I support.

The write up above is like anti-tithing and pro-tithing disagreement. Most tithers would never see anything wrong in tithing despite the points on ground.

Same way some broke guys would disagree with the write-up

Being broke wouldn't prevent you from finding true love. Being wealthy doesn't guarantee finding true love.

What's your point?

---

Tozara

AlmiqhteeAllah:
Being broke wouldn't prevent you from finding true love. Being wealthy doesn't guarantee finding true love.

What's your point?

Did you read the article at all?
You need to read it slowly again

Rapmoney:
Thanks man. I appreciate.

Very true expecially in Nigeria but out there,most ladies will love you for who you are cos most of them don't have the leech mentality.

AlmiqhteeAllah:

Whatever that can make the world go round is even greater than security. Money may not be the bedrock of an affair but it is too important to be ignored, especially, in these present times. Its importance cannot be over-emphasized.

Rapmoney:
What else can I say when you have almost committed the fallacy of begging a question - petitio principi?

we understand things different way. A man's main responsibility in marriage is money. That is how nature has wired us. You need to be financially OK and you will find someone that will love you on that level. Your level of financially Ok can differ from my own. Shoe get size, humans get class. If you date babe wey big pass you, you won't be able to move, same with a lower one than your level. The moveme means you won't progress. Many of our ladies are living in fantasies. Some wish the child of one billionaire will come and marry them when their own parents are in the village. In naija, it doesn't work that way. We see it in the news elites marrying elites. Same for the guy, every thinks he can get between the legs of every woman because he is a guy. This is why many complain about girls being money lovers and bla bla. My guy hustle and you will attract the kind of ladies you want!

Rapmoney:
Most people that hold this opinion of yours will swiftly show their hypocritical nature if I ask them to support their sisters to marry a broke dude. Watch how they will change opinions like chameleons!

Crap. Complete crap. My sister would have her reasons for marrying whomever she wants to marry---and if the person who has what she wants is broke, errr, how's that my business? Being broke is not a crime. A broke man can still be rich. All rich men [except those who inherited their wealth] were once broke.

The only kind of man I wouldn't want my sister to marry are:

A lazy man
A parasitic man
An abusive man
A misogynist
etc

Note that being broke doesn't automatically mean you're a lazy parasite. Not all rich people are hardworking [some inherited their wealth, others had it gifted to them etc], honorable and principled. And not all broke guys are lazy, unprincipled and lacking in nobility of the soul.

It's not everyone that works hard that will make it. This is a FACT. Or you think otherwise? Some people are just unlucky, yet they remain lovable people and significant assets to humanity. If my sister is wealthy [Or EVEN IF SHE'S BROKE---I need to add that], stumbles upon such a man and decides to walk down the aisle with him, I would give my full support.

---

Tozara

AlmiqhteeAllah:
Being broke wouldn't prevent you from finding true love. Being wealthy doesn't guarantee finding true love.

What's your point?

OP is comparing two states and stating that one is a lot more conducive for maintaining love.
He has not implied that a poor state precludes maintaining a relationship.
@bolded, neither does being rich.

See, falling in love is the easy part, staying in love is the hard part. And money does make it easier to achieve because it takes away some of the everyday stresses that often makes keeping love alive in relationships difficult.

you will never be happy in your relationship if you are broke (in poverty). it's not necessary to be super rich, but you must be at certain level to maintain your relationship.
why do you think people enter relationships,if not for happiness.

Toks2008:


Very true expecially in Nigeria but out there,most ladies will love you for who you are cos most of them don't have the leech mentality.

outwhere. Forget the movies and movies bro. Part of being who you are is your prosperity. If you are rich you say "I am rich" not you am rich. It's part of what defines you. I like beautiful, well to do ladies. They say "I am beautiful and well to do" that's who they are

Rapmoney:
Whatever that can make the world go round is even greater than security. Money may not be the bedrock of an affair but it is too important to be ignored, especially, in these present times. Its importance cannot be over-emphasized.

Wait........ Define "broke"---what it means to YOU.

Nice write, remember different folds for different folks. I have a little female cousin from a rich home, she met a very wealth young guy from my hometown while she was in school. The guy has exotic and vintage cars, various properties scattered across the globe and lots of celebrities and paparazzi friends. Her dad and some of my uncles were against the marriage but she insisted. They reside in ikoyi and she is been chauffeur around. Three years down the marriage she is bored and tried of the marriage (despite the fact the young man is not impotent). She pack back to her father's house and my uncle told her to return to her marital home. Am not trying to dispute your write up but to let you know it's different folds for different folks. If i may ask what figure is brokeness? If you can afford your meal and dress neat, there is a female somewhere whose heart is craving for you with out knowing your financial status. Alot of those guys you think rich are quite broke. Most times brokeness is a state of mind, the way you would comfortably go to a nite club and have fun with just 20-50k some guys cant go to a nite club with 500k because to them, they are broke.

Rapmoney:
I can't argue with you whether they married when they were nothing or somebody. What you should tell me is what period did they get married because I'm very sure it wasn't recently.

Most people that hold this opinion of yours will swiftly show their hypocritical nature if I ask them to support their sisters to marry a broke dude. Watch how they will change opinions like chameleons!

I'd choose a guy who's career driven, vision oriented and a great prospect to match over a rich one I have no idea of how he made his money 'cause my head may be used as sacrifice. Nothing gives me joy more than the idea of being with such a person 'cause I'd part of his success story. I'm not speaking for my gender in general but for myself so don't call me a hypocrite. On the other hand, wonder why the rich folks are apprehensive and careful in choosing a wife?. Good wives aren't easy to come by at such points in a man's life. I still reteirate that it's more difficult for a rich man to find true love than it's for a struggling guy.

AlmiqhteeAllah:
Being broke wouldn't prevent you from finding true love. Being wealthy doesn't guarantee finding true love.

What's your point?

I don't know what you call true love but being broke may not only prevent you from finding your said 'true love', it can also prevent you from finding fake love. If you are broke, there's no lust for you, talk less of love.

There is this movie I recommend " The Notebook".

Benita27:
I'd choose a guy who's career driven, vision oriented and a great prospect to match over a rich one I have no idea of how he made his money 'cause my head may be used as sacrifice. Nothing gives me joy more than the idea of being with such a person 'cause I'd part of his success story. I'm not speaking for my gender in general but for myself so don't call me a hypocrite. On the other hand, wonder why the rich folks are apprehensive and careful in choosing a wife?. Good wives aren't easy to come by at such points in a man's life. I still reteirate that it's more difficult for a rich man to find true love than it's for a struggling guy.

Try and separate being rich and being comfortable for once. Don't you think you are mixing everything up? I mean, you don't need to be necessarily rich, you should be able to pay your bills conveniently, live in a decent house and eat decent meals! A man who can't afford these may not even find lust, talk less of love. If you can't get fake love, how do you hope to get a genuine one?

shaybebaby:

OP is comparing two states and stating that one is a lot more conducive for maintaining love.
He has not implied that a poor state precludes maintaining a relationship.
@bolded, neither does being rich.

He's exagerrating the importance of money in relationships. Well, I thought he was talking about "genuine" love, not just any old love, right?

See, falling in love is the easy part, staying in love is the hard part. And money does make it easier to achieve because it takes away some of the everyday stresses that often makes keeping love alive in relationships difficult.

It depends on your definition of "love". I know staying in "love" can be hard, but it takes more than money to maintain it. Maybe money is the only thing some people need to maintain "love". But I believe it's not the same for everybody, 'cause we have different reasons why we love in the first place, and the conditions that can kill the love also differ.

And the way it's possible for a broke man to become rich, is the same way the rich can also become poor. So, I'm still missing the point of this.

---

Tozara

I'm just going to put this question out there for nigerian blokes who always bash women for going after money (even though this is not always the case).

Let's take this supposed money that is the preserve of men to earn solely (and also this belief that they solely the ones capable of earning, every woman is waiting patiently on the sidelines to benefit), out of the equation.

Hence what other values do nigerian men bring to the table in relationships if we exclude money?

If you are struggling to answer this, then you do not deserve to be in a relationship as a broke person.

I think you two agreed on this point in bold

AlmiqhteeAllah:


Haven said that, these kind of write-ups are ridiculous and one-dimensional rubbish that judge all relationships by a one-size-fits-all standard, ignoring the reality that people have different motivations in life, as well as different reasons for falling in love . So many factors contribute to attraction as well as break-ups that there's barely any consistent way of determining what to rule out or what not when making such considerations as this. Relationships are dialectical, "grey" systems, not some 1 + 1 = 2, simple, straightforward, binary system that you can analyse using Aristotelian logic. Your write-up is flawed.

Rapmoney:
Read patiently...

Most of us grew up with the false belief (my opinion) that you will only find the right woman, the one who would love you genuinely when you don't have a dime or when you're not yet sound financially. I held unto this idea for a very long time till I got to a point in life where I could no longer struggle with reality; I had to face it.

Let me tell you today, having money and even excess of it will not stop you from finding a woman who suits you and who loves you dearly. It depends on your class and what you want. I strongly believe that holding onto the idea that you will only find a woman who will love you genuinely, when you have not achieved financial success, is a mentality that is seriously laced with inferiority complex! It is like saying no comfortable or financially successful young man will marry a woman who will love him genuinely. If money will not make a woman love you genuinely, then you can try poverty. I believe it will help! Being broke as ceramics is not a guarantee that genuine love awaits you whenever a girl agrees to date you. People date for different reasons . Among the super rich, rich, comfortable, struggling, broke, poor and poorest, there are honest people, so also there are deceitful people too.

shaybebaby:
I'm just going to put this question out there for nigerian blokes who always bash women for going after money (even though this is not always the case).

Let's take this supposed money that is the preserve of men to earn solely (and also this belief that they solely the ones capable of earning, every woman is waiting patiently on the sidelines to benefit), out of the equation.

Hence what other values do nigerian men bring to the table in relationships if we exclude money?

If you are struggling to answer this, then you do not deserve to be in a relationship as a broke person.

The shade in this part