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Stats: 1,389,034 members, 2,168,029 topics. Date: Monday, 06 July 2015 at 11:12 PM

Recent Posts (5)

Nairaland Forum / Recent Posts

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Business / Re: MERRYBET Football(+ Other Sports) Betting Season 9 by leocolin(m): 11:07pm
Total odds for my last post was just 6...una wey dey complain, I picked 4...roughly 3.1 or so, but 98percent sure all will enter. Just decided to drop it here for odas. See u guys at day if this one enter
sir u reminded me of father Christmas grin grin grin
Jokes Etc / Hilarious Discussion Among Pastor, Mr Ogbeche And The Rest Of The Congregation by kaka22(m): 11:07pm
Pastor: if you are worshipping with us for the first time in this
church, The New life Church. You are so special to us. The whole church will like to know your name.
New comer: I'm Dele Ogbeche.
(church...shouts and cheers)
Pastor: Halleluyah!
Church: Amen.
Pastor: Mr Dele Ogbeche, do you have any prayer request you want the church to pray for you ?
Ogbeche: Yes sir. The church should help me pray that God should promote my business in this church more than how he promoted it in my former church.
Pastor: Church, I will want you to use the whole of your strength to pray this prayer for him That Oh Lord, promote this Mr Ogbeche's business in this church (speaks in tongues... masokokokokole sebede) Thus saith the Lord, Listen, that your business shall sell in this church more than where you are coming from in thousand/million folds.
Pastor: Mr Ogbeche, open your eyes. You left your former CHURCH because the business was not selling very well abi?
Ogbeche: Yes sir. Actually, my business was selling at first because they were buying the casket they use to bury members from me. As the church members started dying small small so my business was growing because they were all buying their casket from me. I learned a trade in making casket. But after some time, there was a deliverance service and members started living long, which affected my business. That's why I had to leave the church to search for a greener pasture.
Pastor: Mr Ogbeche, abi ko fe da fun yin ni? Ori e buru ni? Please stand up. Church, you will pray, Oh Lord destroy Mr Ogbeche's life and business permanently if he refuse to leave this church immediately..
FATHERRRRRRRRRR.......kokokokolelelelelelesokokomasererere (everybody started speaking in tougues)
Pastor: (looks at him as he runs out of the church) OLORI BURUKU! E ma gba wa ke?! Oluwa ya wa ya ibi o!
Romance / Re: Ladies, What Do You Say About Dating A Man Like This? by kinglekan(m): 11:07pm

I seeee. I've been wondering.

what's the diff btw the memes created on the sites u talk about and the ones u create using photo apps and editors?

Not different tho. Just that you get more funny and cooler facial expressions online.

Education / Re: Opinion: Top 5 Nigerias Most Beautiful University Libraries by Godswillnwaoma(m): 11:07pm
u never see unizik digital library.
Education / Re: • Abia State Polytechnic 2015/2016 FORM Is On Admin.contact_07060662073 by Burser4: 11:07pm
• Abia State polytechnic OND, HND & POST UTME FORM 2015/2016 is sill on sale. To apply and further admission assistance Contact...(07060662073).

Jobs/Vacancies / Global Profilers Job Recruitment (12 Positions) by udjq1(m): 11:07pm
Global Profilers is a Recruitment & HR Services firm specialized in recruitment in Africa; Our client(s) in various sectors of the economy, invites applications from suitably qualified candidates for immediate employment into the following Graduate and Experienced vacant positions:

1.) Sales and Marketing Executive

2.) Project Manager, Road

3.) Graduate Accountant

4.) Graduate Sales Representatives/Medical Representative – 7 Positions

5.) Entry-level Technical Assistant

6.) Graduate Civil Engineer

Application Link


Application Closing Date
Not Specified.
Business / Re: MERRYBET Football(+ Other Sports) Betting Season 9 by coolestdude01: 11:07pm
Lol.all of us still waiting for testimonies on that issue.
hahahahhahaha... I tell you bro. Nobody wants to be the potential maga. grin
Travel / Re: General U.s.a (student) Visa Enquiries-part 7 by godG: 11:07pm

Naso bro!.Nice one...That's the spirit.. I'll always respect every first-class product cos its not easy!.. Ask a Nairalander on d UK thread (dolapobello), I always prostrate whenever I see him at the faculty grin despite all the fine chicks wey plenty for his class, he no even drop 0.01 from his maintained cgpa from 100-400L..
godG baba..."shey ko wa le"?

Baba mi fada, ko wa sile o! I'm loyal to your government!
Politics / Re: Photos Of Victims Of Borno Bomb Blast (Viewers Discretion) by ZianaJordana(f): 11:07pm
Oh, my god. shocked I'm shocked, this I terrible. cry Words can't even describe how disheartened the victims must feel. cry Condolences to the victims and their families.
TV/Movies / Re: Zee World Movies And Soaps Official Fan Page by komzyb(f): 11:07pm
Sumbody should please gv update on married na,pleeaaaaassseee
Politics / Re: Alert!! Bokoharam Hijacked?? by opiaoku: 11:07pm
na today you know this. Which Almajiri fit dey dribble well-trained intelligence systems of the Giant of Africa like that?

Buhari is a terrorist - Elrufai

Buhari is a certified terrorist bastard kunu sipping monkey

bokoharam are bombing Buhari and his bastard goons are busy hallucinating
Politics / Re: Top Five Safest States To Live In Nigeria by IKWEREBIAFRAN: 11:07pm

crimes not reported? as in crime is now formal in onitsha?
hehe... stop decieving yourself sir. i am in onitsha
did you know of two armed robbers that were burnt last two wweek In Onitsha?
Romance / Re: Romance Section "Chat Central and Derailer's Paradise"...Welcome! by Sinnzu(m): 11:07pm

What is there to explain? smiley What gave you the impression that I was a guy? sad
perhaps cos there was no "f", sitting next to your moniker. And your pattern of contributing is somewhat masculine..undecided
Religion / Re: Noah was a muslim? by stinggy(m): 11:07pm
He was a Muslim, An Omoluabi, and the male version of Abiamo. There was no gathering of animals, they are merely allergorical. More importantly, I doubt if there was any pig in existence in Noah's time. The pig is merely between 4000 and 5000 years old.
grin grin grin
So did pig evolve from another animal or how?
Science/Technology / Re: Byebye To Fuel Scarcity... Welcome BIOGAS by Obascoetubi: 11:07pm

Number is incomplete
Family / Re: Why Women Treat Side Guys Better Than Their Husband by tpiander: 11:06pm
you can also write.
Politics / Re: We Will Resist Any Attempt To Remove Ekweremadu – Ohanaeze Ndigbo by obailala(m): 11:06pm
How I wish Ekeeremmadu would be removed as DSP. What sort of nonsense threat is this by the greedy ohaneze chiefs who claim to be representing Igbos?

When they were endorsing only PDP, they didnt know it would cost Igbos higher positions in the country of PDP lost. Now they are blowing flames because one self serving Saraki of a man decided to sell the DSP position to the opposition...
Romance / Re: Like Seriously I Dreamt Of Ladyboss1. by Isaacmacdon(m): 11:06pm

Good thanks
u welcome..
Jobs/Vacancies / Re: UNILAG IS RECRUITING!!! Academic And Non-academic Positions. by TheMaleBoss(m): 11:06pm
i dey come. grin

Till you come. Hope u go apply for the Academic position? I sure say u be first class material.
Autos / Re: My Horrible Experience With Inspired Autos. by Idowuogbo(f): 11:06pm
I reject failure in our lives....
Amen brother!!! Preach it!!! Thunder fire failure!! Orunmila strike failure!!! Failure, I bind you now in the mighty name of Jesus! Failure,you must see us and cross over to the other side in the might name of Jesus! Failure, i say DIEEEEE!!!! You shall see us no more....get behind us failure!!!!

And the congregation say......

AMEN!!! cool
Romance / Re: Share A Secret With Sandrannna by sandrannna(f): 11:06pm
a secret undecidedto who

U av a b.f apart from the one on ur dp? Is dat ur secret?
Family / Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by Ruq: 11:06pm
Yea righty, figured out his way indeed.

What's there to figure? Bottomline is he couldn't have slept with that much women.

You need to meet guys that keep records, you'll know 1000 is a small number.
Jokes Etc / Re: When a guy has Too Much Swag (photo) by LadyBoss1: 11:06pm
Seriously I no even know ooooo. He just wan pour sand for my garri
I swear everytime his online dat guy finds u lol cry
Religion / Re: Three Arguments For God's Existence by plaetton: 11:06pm

I have already stated that the illogicality of an infinite regress necessitates an uncaused cause, it makes nonsense of the idea that there must be a designer's designer infinitely.

Oh migosh! shocked

" Illogicality of infinite regress NECESSITATES an Uncaused cause ".

In other words, You are here confessing that the connundrum of infinite regress Prompts you to Pull the uncaused cause CRAP right out of your A-ss?
We hear You loud and clear. undecided

And god is non-physical? And You know that for sure?
Do you mind telling what template upon which It designed and created the physical, as well as how It interfaces with the physical.
Nairaland / General / Look At What I Found.... by Emenahagos02(m): 11:06pm
Remember this grin

Romance / Re: Picture Of A Nairalander In A Deep Kiss With Girlfriend by Freemanan(m): 11:06pm

It's about her reputation, thanks
Never knew bride price determines a lady's reputation..
Thanks for the knowledge.

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