@ Wendy,

wetin you come de do here de collect insults.

I wonder when we go learn to talk without getting insultive and personal, this is a public forum.

Abeg Madam go ( u know where) we the await your veiws and analysis.

All this grammar dey too much

the chick says they have been through thick and thin together, meaning he is a QUALITY GUY, who will be an excellent mate for her. If he erred by not having the best delivery (ok it was poor ) of his proposal intentions, there is no reason to fly off the hook.

For crying out loud, she knows the guy and would've seen before now that he isn't the most eloquent of guys (in a whole 4 years I'm sure she knows that)
say something like

'come on, I know you can do better than this. . .ok I'll accept this as a trial run. Make sure you get it right the next time sha, you lovable goofy man'

He is not denigrating her in any way. ANY man here who has proposed should tell me he does not weigh pros and cons and finally decide to marry someone - even in light of the sterling qualities and all.

I insist his only error was that he failed to translate his thoughts into 'feminine language' of roses (hibiscus in naija), mariachis (or gangan drummers in naija ) and the flowery words. Simple.

Una body too dey hot, I think almond may actually be right - with this attitude it is not surprising we have so many professional spinsters around

_{make una no descend on me o}

the guy even tried . . . some men would just come to ur father's house and tell the old man he's here looking for his goat that got lost in your compound.

Talktrue:

@ Wendy,

wetin you come de do here de collect insults.

I wonder when we go learn to talk without getting insultive and personal, this is a public forum.

Abeg Madam go ( u know where) we the await your veiws and analysis.

Talktrue you sef come here . Anyway I go soon commot. It's been a while I've seen a post like this one. Front page for that matter. I dey weak no be small. Anyway make we meet for the business forum.

@tpia

Na female conditioning make am agree, so dont feel so smug
Wetin I dey go find for sokoto when e dey for shokoto.
I think that even in Nigeria, I earm more than you when converted

debosky:
.
Una body too dey hot, I think almond may actually be right - with this attitude it is not surprising we have so many professional spinsters around

I expect better from you than this kind of razz tripe.

ariblaze, mostj women don't do that because knowing you guys anytime there's a fight she'll always hear "arent you the one that begged me to marry you, I didnt ask you to marry me anyway  etc"

i could say you have a point here.

but still she could have corrected him,

God knows if i were her i would tell him to get his proposal right and then i would respond

and give him one of those beautiful smiles you ladies give to us when you think we have just acted stupid

debosky:

with this attitude it is not surprising we have so many professional spinsters around

You forgot to mention that bachelors too will be everywhere except they turn gay Every woman knows what she wants and VV.

debosky:

All this grammar dey too much

the chick says they have been through thick and thin together, meaning he is a QUALITY GUY, who will be an excellent mate for her. If he erred by not having the best delivery (ok it was poor ) of his proposal intentions, there is no reason to fly off the hook.

For crying out loud, she knows the guy and would've seen before now that he isn't the most eloquent of guys (in a whole 4 years I'm sure she knows that)
say something like

'come on, I know you can do better than this. . .ok I'll accept this as a trial run. Make sure you get it right the next time sha, you lovable goofy man'

He is not denigrating her in any way. ANY man here who has proposed should tell me he does not weigh pros and cons and finally decide to marry someone - even in light of the sterling qualities and all.

I insist his only error was that he failed to translate his thoughts into 'feminine language' of roses (hibiscus in naija), mariachis (or gangan drummers in naija ) and the flowery words. Simple.

I agree with some of these aspects of your post sha. You're most likely correct.

But that delivery get as e be sha. "i've finally decided to marry you". Kai, me self go dey weak all of a sudden. Anyway, they've made up so let's stop disturbing ourselves. Over and out!

tpia:



you're not making any sense at all.

if you get visa, travel out of the country. abi na me dey delay ya emigration?

blacklion tell you say im dey inside country? or what are you going on about?

comot for road abeg make I hear word.


the OP has said the guy himself explained his reason for proposing in that manner.He himself accepted that he didnt do it right the first time. So why are you weeping louder than him? the girl's reaction was based on his action. She may have overreacted, but that still doesnt excuse the guy. AJ pointed out that she ought to be used to the way Nigerian men do their own things- in that kind of frightening way. So you're saying, that's how Nigerian males should continue proposing marriage -like club the woman over the head and drag her off kicking and screaming? The guy would have benefitted from reading a couple of mills and boon and watching a few hollywood movies along that line, in my opinion.

Assuming the girl even wanted to refuse the marriage proposal or delay her decision, how do you respond to someone who tells you " I have decided to marry you?" as if she'd been begging and hounding him to marry her in the first place?

Anyway, the real issue here is the couple had a fight, both of them offended each other, but they've been able to kiss, make up and put their differences behind them. At least the guy was man enough to accept his mistake and apologize, which I highly commend him for. Shows he loves the woman enough not to want to lose her. Says volumes about his character, by the way.

and I repeat- why must some of you feel like Nigerians deserve nothing good in their lives? Is it written somewhere that Nigerians are cursed forever?We always have to settle for being the underdog and feed under the table like dogs? If you believe that then pity yourself.

My guy,

if ability to propose on bended knee, with a fragrant bouquet and a heavy rock is what makes you top dog in your own world, more grease!!!!

As for me and my people, we deserve safe water, constant electricity, security from armed robbers [uniformed and mufti], world class healthcare, shelter, decent schools, good roads etc, etc BEFORE we start worrying about coming tops in the global romance league tables

ariblaze:



i could say you have a point here.

but still she could have corrected him,

God knows if i were her i would tell him to get his proposal right and then i would respond

and give him one of those beautiful smiles you ladies give to us when you think we have just acted stupid

I like you jare  

seriously if it were me, I'd laugh and make a sarcastic comment that'd make him feel silly but like i've said before, people are different. who are we to say what should offend people? Are we all smurfs? smurfs sef they have different opinions.

I dey tell you say I dey country and wetin the man (balcklion) talk na true

D-reloaded:

I expect better from you than this kind of razz tripe.

Radiant:

You forgot to mention that bachelors too will be everywhere except they turn gay Every woman knows what she wants and VV.

you ladies are right o jare. . .wetin be 'tripe' ? na name of place, animal or person

as for bachelors. . .awon boys go simply head to the villa. . .for there no need to even yarn the babe - just look for the one you want and then negotiate with her papa. All this proposal madness has caused people to do mad things

One guy the other day was caught in armed robbery because he wanted to marry

anyways, glad to hear the couple got back together. Happy Ending

@tpia

I dey tell you say I dey country and wetin the man (blacklion) talk na true , you dey talk another thing

Dalby:

@tpia

Na female conditioning make am agree, so don't feel so smug
Wetin I dey go find for sokoto when e dey for shokoto.
I think that even in Nigeria, I earm more than you when converted

knock yourself out. 

You're limited only by your imagination.

Dalby:

@tpia

I dey tell you say I dey country and wetin the man (blacklion) talk na true , you dey talk another thing

when you want to propose, tell the girl the same thing. Just say "I've condescended to marry you". All women will jump for joy when they hear that.


As a matter of fact, wasnt this the same problem that girl had in Pride and Prejudice? Am just remembering it now. Some rich guy proposing to a girl and also abusing her family at the same time, for not being in his class. Of course she put him in his place and sent him off reconsidering his manners.

debosky:

as for bachelors. . .awon boys go simply head to the villa. . .for there no need to even yarn the babe - just look for the one you want and then negotiate with her papa.

Chei, I don laff tire. So this kain tin still dey happen  . God help the man wey go come to me and hubby come negotiate for my baby girl. Na cutlass plus ak47 we go take run the man commot one time

windywendy:

What are you whining about? You can't control the world or what people choose to believe or imbibe. It's a free world. If you think women have unrealistic expectations of romantic love, then stay away from them! All your complaints and unnecessary musings about feminazi etc etc will not change a thing. All this one wey you dey yarn na old story. The fact remains that most people develop expectations of what they want out of a marriage relationship, and will pursue those expectations. If you don't like the expectations set by one person, then find yourself someone who has the same expectations as you. It's way better than all the complaining and "trying to save the marriage institution" mentality you're adopting.

madam feminazi,

pls re-read my post carefully. i did not say "women have unrealistic expectations of romantic love". I said precisely that Hollywood and Mills and Boon have created "unrealistic expectations of romantic love" in Western societies and that these notions are affecting relationships and marriage negatively. believe it or not, there is a difference between these two concepts

by this i meant that people in western societies are psychologically conditioned or pressured to believe that there is some sort of gold standard for romantic relationships or marriage as defined in romance novels or Hollywood movies. but real life is very different from tinseltown or the pages of a novel. the dissonance between hollywood makebelieve and the real life ordinary people's loves and marriages often makes people expect or desire more than is actually realistic and causes them to become disaffected. pronto, marriages collapse, innocent kids are marooned etc

case in point - that there is the ONE way to propose to a woman and anything but is 'unromantic', 'rude', 'domineering' etc

tpia:

knock yourself out.  

You're limited only by your imagination.

The beauty of it is that I don't have to do 3 jobs, and also become an accountant because of tax

debosky:

as for bachelors. . .awon boys go simply head to the villa. . .for there no need to even yarn the babe - just look for the one you want and then negotiate with her papa. All this proposal madness has caused people to do mad things

One guy the other day was caught in armed robbery because he wanted to marry

Go to the village and find a girl because you fail to do the right thing. It's always 'better' the easy way out. Negotiate with her Dad? Debo, you're better than this jare

If you rob because you must marry then shame.

Dalby:

The beauty of it is that I don't have to do 3 jobs, and also become an accountant because of tax

You're limited only by your imagination.

them refuse you visa? Or are you that pawpaw guy?

blacklion:

madam feminazi,

please re-read my post carefully. i did not say "women have unrealistic expectations of romantic love". I said precisely that Hollywood and Mills and Boon have created "unrealistic expectations of romantic love" in Western societies and that these notions are affecting relationships and marriage negatively. believe it or not, there is a difference between these two concepts

by this i meant that people in western societies are psychologically conditioned or pressured to believe that there is some sort of gold standard for romantic relationships or marriage as defined in romance novels or Hollywood movies. but real life is very different from tinseltown or the pages of a novel. the dissonance between hollywood makebelieve and the real life ordinary people's loves and marriages often makes people expect or desire more than is actually realistic and causes them to become disaffected. pronto, marriages collapse, innocent kids are marooned etc

case in point - that there is the ONE way to propose to a woman and anything but is 'unromantic', 'rude', 'domineering' etc

Ok o, mr feminazi   All these are your own ideas, and don't hold water anywhere else. What people expect and desire might not be realistic to you, but could be realistic to others. You're certainly not qualified to speak on behalf of everyone. Like I said, we'll give you 10 more years before returning to the marriage topic in your case. Looks like you've been frustrated from meeting women whose expectations you're not willing to meet up with. But then again, there's room to learn -- either that or you settle for the one that has the same expectations as you. kapish abeg. I don go be that.

Dalby:

The beauty of it is that I don't have to do 3 jobs, and also become an accountant because of tax

Ah go die for laff o!!!

village girl sha

gud idea, i wont have to propose

hmmm why ever dint i think of that:::::::::::::::::


but on second thoughts she would come to lagos and start sayting things like

ragos na fryover

nah

i would stick to the known ways

like

i have decided to marry you

from the look of things i cant go wrong

windywendy:

Looks like you've been frustrated from meeting women whose expectations you're not willing to meet up with.

U just couldn't exit the thread without that last jab, abi?

Shebi na your cheerleaders wey dey cry sey I dey call you frustrated spinster a little earlier?

OK, you've had your pound of flesh. Hope you're satisfied.

no deceive unaself o!

na those village omoge na im spoil pass nowadays

na nollywood plus okrika [aka bend-down] wey cause am

village chick wan prove sey im civilize pass town babes so na dem dey nack anyhow pass

e be like sey e don tey wey some people go villa

tpia:

You're limited only by your imagination.

them refuse you visa? Or are you that pawpaw guy?

You be my man, no hard feelings
I go code your true situation for them.
I need to actually go and sleep, some of us have to work you know
Wifey is also waiting for you know, , how would you know when you are not married
Save well well, we go convince am to wait for you, at least in 5 or 6 years, at least traditional money go dey ground. In another 5 or 6, church own go don ready (damn if not for these taxes )

people cant even wriite about their lives without morons throwing it at other people's faces in other threads that have NOTHING to do with such

The hell does job and accountancy have to do with anything? Some of you are so immature it's ridiculous.

@D-reloaded

Read the previous posts then you will understand. Sleep tight

the guy was a jack-ass and deserves what he got. "I've decided to marry you"!!!!! as if she begged or he was thinking on whether she is worth it. abeg make she throw that yeye fish for water after all plenty still dey.

am waiting oo

villiage gal
or city gal

Dalby:

You be my man, no hard feelings
I go code your true situation for them.
I need to actually go and sleep, some of us have to work you know
Wifey is also waiting for you know, , how would you know when you are not married
Save well well, we go convince am to wait for you, at least in 5 or 6 years, at least traditional money go dey ground. In another 5 or 6, church own go don ready (damn if not for these taxes )

kolo.

In any case, what's wrong with working three or five jobs, being an accountant for whatever reason, or doing any job you're ascribing to me here? Dude, if you need visa, let me know. Maybe I can be of assistance if I think you're nice.

yeye.

D-reloaded:

people can't even wriite about their lives without morons throwing it at other people's faces in other threads that have NOTHING to do with such

The hell does job and accountancy have to do with anything? Some of you are so immature it's ridiculous.

You get time. I strongly suspect he must be that guy calling himself pawpaw.



previous posts ko previous posts ni.

blacklion:

You just couldn't exit the thread without that last jab, abi?

Shebi na your cheerleaders wey dey cry sey I dey call you frustrated spinster a little earlier?

OK, you've had your pound of flesh. Hope you're satisfied.

Oh I didn't even know you called me a frustrated spinster. But why na? Because I disagreed with your opinion? Awwww, poor insecure you. But like I mentioned earlier, your opinion is really not as important as you think it is -- at least not to most of us, it isn't. I guess you're one of those guys who go about thinking that women ought to consider themselves lucky if a man even as much as says "hi" to them. And so anyone that shows even the slightest sign of having a mind is classed as a "frustrated spinster"   Chei, in this same world we live in? Tis so sad. Good night o, mr feminazi. Although with the amount of energy you're devoting to these so-called feminazi issues, it makes me wonder sha . . . anyway make I no talk again  .  

As an aside, you should visit the business section sometime. It's more interesting than this one. There's a thread "stock market tips for nigerians" that could use some of this your energy.